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bonnefoisArgh, I've been sick most of the day. Stupid heat. Stupid polluted fruits.
Anyways. Spent most of day sleeping fitfully and typing out notebook!fic which might be finished sooner or later. Fluff for Ammy?
I love dinosaur comics also Jimi sent this to me and I about died laughing.
Ok, as I survived life, JD’s equation and![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-community.gif)
dimension_shop, it’s time for something else.
Five things meme. That’s right.
You know what I mean, make a request like say, “Five Times Umeda Didn’t Hate The Idiot (And No, Not Love. Shut Up.)” Or “Five Times Soren Acted Like A Jealous Girlfriend”
Pairing list preference here, I'll write pairings other than my preferences, btw!
Although I might have to refuse at times because I can't write x character to save my life/etc. If you're really unsure, just put down more than one. Oh yeah, and multiples are always allowed.
Like any request from me, I have to disclaim that I'm really prone to wandering off and I may never get to yours. I suck, I know.
And left public so anyone can request.
Anyways. Spent most of day sleeping fitfully and typing out notebook!fic which might be finished sooner or later. Fluff for Ammy?
I love dinosaur comics also Jimi sent this to me and I about died laughing.
Ok, as I survived life, JD’s equation and
dimension_shop, it’s time for something else.Five things meme. That’s right.
You know what I mean, make a request like say, “Five Times Umeda Didn’t Hate The Idiot (And No, Not Love. Shut Up.)” Or “Five Times Soren Acted Like A Jealous Girlfriend”
Pairing list preference here, I'll write pairings other than my preferences, btw!
Although I might have to refuse at times because I can't write x character to save my life/etc. If you're really unsure, just put down more than one. Oh yeah, and multiples are always allowed.
Like any request from me, I have to disclaim that I'm really prone to wandering off and I may never get to yours. I suck, I know.
And left public so anyone can request.
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Five Ways Kaworu and Shinji Never Lived Happily Ever After Together part one
Date: 2008-07-09 08:08 am (UTC)“I want you to kill me,” Kaworu says. He’s smiling, a bit sadly, but it’s the same smile Shinji has known for such a short time, one that seems so much longer.
And even though his mind is screaming for him to not, Shinji does.
2. the last kiss / tasted like tobacco / a bitter and sad smell
“I like you,” Kaworu says.
The school year is almost over and Shinji can almost smell the next year in the air, the newness of fresh blooms springing up from the snow.
Kaworu smiles, he seems completely calm, no trace of anxiousness in his eyes. Everything about him is so casual; even how his shirt hangs on him, loose, with a few buttons undone.
As much as Shinji wants to drink in every detail, he wrenches his gaze away.
“I’m not...like that. I’m not gay!”
He grips Kaworu’s shirt that smells of soap and air and sweat and Kaworu. He’s hyperventilating, desperate.
“I’m not...I’m not.”
All he can see is his father’s face, Gendou’s wall-like expression. The scowls. Even as he knows he will never achieve it, he desires his father’s acceptance almost as much as he wants Kaworu’s touch.
“I’m not...” he gasps out, all his rage and fury spent. His lies are so easy to spot, but Kaworu just smiles sadly.
“I understand,” Kaworu says.
The sky is painted with red and gold streaks as Kaworu walks away. Shinji watches because he is weak and all he can do is watch
He never sees Kaworu again.
Later on, many years his life is shaped differently. Looking back, he always remembers the way Kaworu looked in other sunsets, walking him home. The curve of his smile. He remembers that summer to its abrupt, jarring end.
But most of all, he remembers Kaworu as his first love.
3. the other woman
Asuka was expecting their first child and her temper was worn even more thin than usual. She sat on the couch, her enormous swelling belly seems some kind of legion, tumor. Shinji can’t look at her long, or he’ll feel dizzy and nauseous with a kind of panic that claws at his skin and won’t let him free.
“You forgot the pickles!” She screams, and throws the empty ice cream carton at him.
He ducks and just misses him, vanilla splatters over the newly painted blue walls.
“I’ll get it immediately,” he says and runs far from her poison, her hate.
He had intended to shower, wash the scent of Kaworu and their sin off of his skin, but now he’d have to find another way. He was always paranoid that Asuka would find out and throw back his own weakness in his face. He wants to wash and scrub until he can’t smell the heady scent of him anymore.
The heat fell down so heavily, pushing him down as he walked down the streets from their apartment. His mind calculates how far it is back to Kaworu’s apartment, to the cool refreshing feel of his controlled chaos.
Shinji pushes the hair from his face. He looks up at the heat rising from the blacktop and remembers the feel, the taste, the touch.
But as much as he’d like to end this, Kaworu is gentle. Asuka says he is useless, weak. Kaworu says that there’s something special under it all. He brushes his fingers over Shinji’s chests and whispers I love you into his skin over and over again with each kiss.
Five Ways Kaworu and Shinji Never Lived Happily Ever After Together part two
Date: 2008-07-09 08:09 am (UTC)4. how you survived the war
Only one soldier could go. Everyone knows that this was suicide, an honorable death, and only if they succeeded. Shinji shifts from foot to foot, the gun feels far to heavy in his hands.
He’s fifteen and he’s never kissed a girl, never been in love or seen New York. All he can think of is all the living he has yet to do.
Shinji shudders as glances come his way. How many have labeled him weak, useless? How many of them wish for him to be nothing more than canon fodder? His helmet hangs low, enough to shade his eyes and conceal the fear that dwells there.
“I’ll give you all this one chance, step forward, be a hero and make history!”
The commander looks directly at him as he says this, Shinji knows it. His hands shake and he grips the gun tighter, lest he drop it.
Beside him, he hears a voice break through.
“I’ll go,” Kaworu says.
Kaworu smiles back at him and all Shinji can feel is relief. He finally breathes again, slow, his lungs aching. He watches as Kaworu is outfitted for the final charge, the bombs, the weapons. Kaworu is strong enough to be no mere short diversion, no cannon fodder. Perhaps he would even live.
Shinji should feel guilty and he should feel regret but for that moment all he can feel is relief. He is fifteen and his life is spared for a moment more, he can walk father, only over the bodies of others.
5. the summer before
They met one summer and were near inseparable. It all happened so fast, Kaworu came into him Shinji’s life, and since then he followed everywhere. They seemed a mismatch, yet somehow fit despite the differences.
They spent every day of that summer together. Swimming in streams, exploring the woods. Kaworu often slept over, they always shared beds then. The sheets were sweaty and it was too hot to share, Kaworu lay beside him, their thin legs touching. The days felt so long and yet so short – years and minutes all in one.
They spent every waking moment together, until one day, Shinji returned alone.
He never could tell what happened, or how his clothes came to be covered in blood. He couldn’t speak, even to tell of where his friend had disappeared to. The mere mention of Kaworu’s name sent him into hysterics.
He was hospitalized shortly after, when Misato found him curled in a ball, holding himself while staring unblinking at the wall.
Gendou was away, as always. When he heard the news, he made arrangements. They were well kept, to anyone who asked, the world at large, his son was dead.
In white rooms Shinji stared blankly at the wall. Over and over he heard the last words, repeated ad infantum. Kaworu’s words, the last he would ever hear.
Re: Five Ways Kaworu and Shinji Never Lived Happily Ever After Together part two
Date: 2008-07-09 11:45 pm (UTC)#5- Damn, that one's going to haunt my dreams.
*hugs* You are so awesome!
Re: Five Ways Kaworu and Shinji Never Lived Happily Ever After Together part two
Date: 2008-07-09 11:56 pm (UTC)Wellll, it's open ended, SO UM YOU'RE WELCOME TO WRITE THAT ENDING FOR YOURSELF, COMPLETE WITH SEXING~~~
Actually, fun fact about number five: I don't even know what happened to Kaworu. But here's some possibilities:
-Shinji killed him.
-Kaworu fell, and Shinji was unable to save him.
-Kaworu was killed in front of him, but the killer spared Shinji for some reason.
...that's probably not going to help with the dreams ;;!
Re: Five Ways Kaworu and Shinji Never Lived Happily Ever After Together part two
Date: 2008-07-10 12:17 am (UTC)*cackles* No, that's not going to help at all, but that's about what I pictured (well, not the falling one, though that's probably the easiest to swallow because it's the least horrific) I figured either someone murdered Kowaru in front of Shinji
who didn't die because he's a little shit that probably ran away while Kowaru was dieing...or that Shinji killed him because Kowaru confessed to loving him (kinda like an alternate, more violent ending to #2)soldier boy/war hero sex you say? ( R. Not safe for work, school, or grandparents!) part one
Date: 2008-07-10 05:33 am (UTC)Tonight it is cloudy, even the stars are hidden. Shinji huddles closer under his coat and breathes on his hands for warmth. The light is small, negligent, even. The lantern must burn low in the trenches, only light enough so he can see.
The curves of the trench are dank, smelling earthy and musty.
A sound lifted his attention. A footstep, a scattered pebble.
“Who’s there!” Shinji aims his gun at the unknown figure coming from the distance. He feels drunk with terror, his movements slowed.
In this light, he sees familiar features.
“...K-Kaworu?”
“Did you think I wouldn’t return?” Kaworu says with amusement.
Kaworu comes to him from the mists. His breath is ghostly clouds in the cold night air.
Shinji doesn’t know how to answer.
“Don’t I get a hero’s welcome?” Kaworu says, his voice low.
Shinji gulps.
He notices the red stains on Kaworu’s jacket, one of the opposing side. He hadn’t realized this job would be undercover.
“You’re hurt...”
“Oh, that? It’s minor, just a scratch.”
“Still, it should be treated,” Shinji replies.
Kaworu looks entirely too happy to have Shinji peeling off his shirt.
Shinji fumbles around in the dim light for the first aid kit.
“Hold still,” he commands. He ignores Kaworu’s less than innocent grin as he finds the wound, it’s not deep, yet it’s far larger than a mere scratch. Kaworu doesn’t even flinch as he cleans the wound, even as the only kind of disinfectant he has is a vile smelling alcohol that burns enough to bring involuntary to even the toughest men.
But Kaworu just watches him, impassive, studying the details of his face. Shinji avoids his gaze and sets himself to drying and applying gauze.
When he is finishes, Shinji puts away the remaining gauze and puts down the disinfectant just right. He takes longer than usual, from the corner of his eye he can see Kaworu’s amused expression.
“You make a wonderful nurse, Shinji-kun. Perhaps that’s your calling,” he says and his expression made it all too clear that mental pictures involving nurse outfits was involved.
Shiji mutters an annoyed, shut up and Kaworu chuckles.
“Danke,” Kaworu says, amused.
“You speak without an accent....”
“I’ve been trained well,” Kaworu says.
“I should repay you,” Kaworu says.
And Shinji thinks No, I should be repaying you...
“Do you have any wishes, Shinji-kun?” he says. His breath is hot against Shinji and he shudders involuntarily.
“I....”
soldier boy/war hero sex you say? ( R. Not safe for work, school, or grandparents!) part two
Date: 2008-07-10 05:37 am (UTC)Kaworu’s fingers are undoing the buttons on his shirt with surprising efficiency and skill. His own hands would’ve been shaking, would’ve torn out the buttons. Kaworu soon pulled off his shirt, so their skin rubbed and brushed against each other as Kaworu kissed at the hollow of his throat.
Kaworu’s fingers are long and slender, Shinji can feel them against him, touching over his chest, stopping to caress his nipples before moving lower.
He can feel Kaworu hard against him, he gasps as they grind together, his pants are uncomfortable, far too tight.
He groans as he feels Kaworu’s fingers slip past the waistband of his pants and stroke over his erection. Light, gentle touches, his breath hitches at each one.
He thrusts into Kaworu’s hand, it’s instinct, he couldn’t have thought if he wanted to. All he want do is feel and taste and touch, all his regrets and fears are buried deep until he almost can’t hear them.
Kaworu kisses him, he runs his tongue over Shinji’s lips until he complies and ths rhythm of their tongues almost matches the pace of Kaworu’s hand on his cock. The heat builds in him, churning and rushing until he comes in Kaworu’s hands. Sticky come is over Kaworu’s hand and he licks it, experimentally.
Shinji couldn’t protest if he tried. He feels wrung out, pleasure still prickles over his skin.
“Well Shinji-kun, what do you think? Are you up for some more?” Kaworu purrs.
Shinji lets out a groan, his mind is still groggy and pleasure-soaked. He wants to curl up fall into a deep sleep. He notices that Kaworu hadn’t come yet.
"You..."
Kaworu guides his hands to his own cock and lets out a soft groan as Shinji closes his fingers around it. Shinji lets his head rest against Kaworu’s chest. Kaworu thrusts into his hand and Shinji can hear his heartbeat, rapid, the heat of Kaworu’s skin against his cheek.
It doesn’t take long for Kaworu to come as well, as he was already pushed so far. He groans, and rests his head against Shinji’s.
“Did you get your wish, Shinji-kun?” he asks through pants.
Shinji is silent a moment. He can hear Kaworu’s heart pulsing, he thinks he can even hear his blood flowing.
“...I think so,” he finally says.
Kaworu smiles.
“Good.”
Shinji’s eyes flutter shut, and Kaworu chuckles.
“Don’t worry, I’ll take over from here. Have a good sleep, Shinji-kun.....”
--
Re: soldier boy/war hero sex you say? ( R. Not safe for work, school, or grandparents!) part two
Date: 2008-07-10 11:05 am (UTC)So... so good. You are a god until this world, my friend. And the world is made better by your existance *huggles*
You kept him alive-alive too! I was so worried Kowaru was going to be a, like, ghost or something who came back just one last time for some Shinji!sexin' before he passed on. But he's alive and he and Shinji are going to stay alive, dammit! And sex each other up for a long, long time!
and live happily ever after, my request be damned!Re: soldier boy/war hero sex you say? ( R. Not safe for work, school, or grandparents!) part two
Date: 2008-07-10 08:31 pm (UTC)fun facts about this au
-it's set in the 1940's aka WWII
-for some reason Shinji is on the allied side, and not with Japan. I don't know either.
-Kaworu is a double-agent. He speaks German that well and pulls off the uniform for a reason.
-I actually intended for Shinji to wake up and have it all be a dream, but it never panned out.
...now I'm tempted to go on and write more, but I'm not sure I want to pull various WWII facts for fanfic (aka Nazi reasoning? Anti-semitic German ideals and such) and Kaworu would eventually have to die somehow if I went on. YEAH. I kind of want to write the porn for the affair one, though.
Re: Five Ways Kaworu and Shinji Never Lived Happily Ever After Together part one
Date: 2008-07-09 11:42 pm (UTC)Those were awesome!! Especially #2, because it's so realistic and hurts so much and HE COULD HAVE HAD KOWARU!!!!
*goes in her corner to calm down*
Also- the thought of Asuka pregnant terrifies me. Seriously, had Asuka been pregnant in the series, I think the Angels would have been too busy pissing themselves to try doing anything else.
Re: Five Ways Kaworu and Shinji Never Lived Happily Ever After Together part one
Date: 2008-07-09 11:48 pm (UTC)It frightens me too XD She'd take over the world by sheer force of will!
Also, there's more below, just in case you missed them XD it couldn't all fit in one comment.
Re: Five Ways Kaworu and Shinji Never Lived Happily Ever After Together part one
Date: 2008-07-09 11:53 pm (UTC)If she weren't 15, I'd so say I want to be her when I grow up...
Heh, I saw that right after I posted this comment. I was like "Oh, there's the last two! Awesomesauce!"