bonnefois | fic: Happily Retconned Ever After

Title: Happily Retconned Ever After
Author/Artist:

measuringlife
Requestor:
Fandom: let's just say Marvel, since more and more of the Marvel cast kept showing up.
Pairing: Billy/Teddy, various Marvel slash & het (Peter/Johnny, Steve/Tony, Tommy > Kate.)
Rating: PG-13
Wordcount: 2363
Warnings: none to speak of.
Summary: Billy's subconscious + reality warping = one massive retcon
Disclaimer: If 616verse were mine, there would be a lot different. Obviously, it isn't.
A/N: Instead of the Lair, I put them at Tony's place. Very much 616verse.

For the prompt: Billy/Teddy One morning, after a sleepover in the Lair, it becomes apparent that Billy talks in his sleep…and can use his powers when doing so.

They were spending the night at Tony Stark's place. How it had come to this was a very complicated answer, involving aliens, time travel and alternate dimensions. ...Actually it just involved Captain America, who wasn't exactly with the living. Apparently there was this thing – this last will and testament which basically made him frown disapprovingly from the grave, except that Tony Stark would be the one doing it for him. Eli had been called away, some family thing, and couldn't attend, unfortunately. Billy had thought he might catch sight of the Runaways here too, but apparently it was just them for Captain America's post-death lecture, as given by Tony Stark.

"Isn't this a little Willy Wonka? What, did we get the golden gear?" Teddy said.

Billy grinned. Man, he loved his boyfriend. Sometimes he'd look up and just be amazed that he was dating someone like Teddy – that Teddy was really real, that he'd even give the time of day to him. And even better, to make him the perfect hall-of-fame boyfriend forever and ever, he was a superhero too. Yes, his parents probably would've preferred a nice Jewish boy instead of an alien hybrid one, but Billy liked him just as he was.

Tommy was being snarky too, making comments here and there, but it only slightly lightened the heavy atmosphere. When they'd seen Tony Stark, he'd reeked of alcohol, which was never a good sign. A butler had guided them away, murmuring that it would be best if they stayed until morning when Mr. Stark would be better. As if he'd just come down with the flu or something.

"It's a shame, though? Don't you think?" Billy said, thoughtfully.

"What's a shame?" Teddy said. He looked a bit concerned.

"Everything... I mean, this whole war. Cap...."

Teddy didn't say anything. He just patted Billy on the shoulder, and left his strong hand there. Gestures could speak louder than words sometimes.

There was a very large room they were lead to, modern, sleek and seemingly made just so the Avengers could have slumber parties. There were a row of beds side by side. Mostly singles, but there were one or two doubles which Billy and Teddy called automatic dibs on.

Tommy went to one of the double beds and patted the space beside him. "I'll keep you warm."

"Keep dreaming," Kate said, and rolled her eyes.

The memories, the past had a way of cutting through even what should have been the coolest slumber party in the history of ever. They were in the freaking Stark mansion, but the haunted look in Tony's eyes, and how gaunt he'd become hung over them. It was hard to laugh in the face of such grief.

If only things had gone differently... That was what was on his mind as the lights turned off and he drifted towards sleep. Even with Teddy's arm about him, he was unsettled by the lingering hurt, the unfairness of it all. He kept thinking that thought, over and over and over.

They woke up to a very different world.

*

"Did you know you sleep-talk?" Tommy said. He rubbed his bedhead hair into an even more improbably hairstyle that looked like he'd shoved his finger in a light socket for his styling method of the day.

"Did you know that you snore?" Billy said.

"Nono, that was Kate over here. I'm pretty sure she clear cut a whole forest with the way she was sawing logs."

Kate did not look amused, but then she was never very amused before her morning coffee. She pitched a pillow at him, which he dodged with ease.

The door opened and someone came in – someone familiar, and yet—

"Oh my Go— you're alive! You're really alive!" Cassie gasped.

"Relax, we're superheros. We deal with evil twins and clone sons and alternate universes every day," Tommy said. "That being said, holy shit, Cap. You're alive."

"Watch your language, young man," he said.

"Or maybe we're all having a group dream," Teddy said.

"That sounds more like a hallucination..." Billy said.

"I think this sounds more drugs to me," Tommy said.

Captain America frowned. "I hope you all weren't up to any tomfoolery."

"We weren't superheroing, honest!" Cassie said.

"Superheroing? Is that the technical term?" Tommy queried. "Not like, Justice Maximus, or Dogooding?"

She stuck her tongue out at him.

Tommy turned and placed a hand over his heart. He gave Captain America such an earnest look that it was all the rest of them could do not to break out laughing.

"And I solemnly swear no drugs were involved, Cap."

"There better not have been," Captain America said.

"Wasn't that Jeeves guy supposed to come get us?" Billy said.

"I wanted to check on you personally."

"To prevent tomfoolery?" Cassie piped up.

"Exactly," Captain America said.

He motioned for them to follow, and when Captain America summoned you didn't say uh, but I haven't showerd and I'm still in my Batman pajama boxers– You just came.

So they filed out and followed. In camisole tops and pajama bottoms, boxers and socks almost falling off. The air was perfectly controlled so that even the floor didn't feel cold when they stepped down.

He had to hand it to Tony Stark, the man was a genius.

The kitchen table itself was sleek, modern, and probably more sophisticated than most people's computers. Peter Parker – more commonly (or infamously) known as Spiderman was sitting at the table. He was prone to coming in to Tony Stark's house at odd moments, even more so since the tragic affairs involving his wife.

Tony Stark was awake, and showed no hint of a hangover. He had on black silk boxers. He took his cup of coffee, and leaned to give Captain America a kiss.

"TMI, guys! I'm still here!" Peter protested. He shielded his eyes. Tony smiled, smirked really, and traced across Steve's chest until he had to clear his throat and push Tony's hands away.

"I swear you do that just to hurt my brain," Peter said. "The mental images are killing me, you know."

Tony chuckled.

"...that definitely wasn't there last night," Kate said.

Steve was an old fashioned man. Tony might have gotten all his news from high tech sources, but for Steve it was morning papers all the way. He took a sip of his coffee, and then did a spittake which stained the paper. Tony handed him a napkin with a grin that made Billy think that he'd known all along this was coming.

"Peter, I think we need to talk," Steve said.

There was now a large brown stain over the text, but the headline Torrid Affair! Spiderman Seduces The Human Torch, Entraps Him In His Web Of Depravity was still visible.

"Oh. That. Uh," Peter said.

"I'm listening," Steve said. His voice was forceful, cold in a way that only Steve's voice could be. It was the authoritarian, draconian way which still held a tinge of tough love even as you were being stared down by the scariest patriotic man that ever did walk the Earth.

"Things happened and uh–"

Peter's explanation was cut off as Johnny Storm made his entrance. Being that he was Johnny Storm, he did not merely come into rooms – he made an entrance.. He grinned at Steve and Tony, leaned down and stole a kiss right in front of everyone.

If looks could kill, then Johnny would have burned away into ash. Even Johnny's indomitable cheer seemed to damper a little bit in the face of that. Tony, however, seemed amused by it all.

"I hope you remembered protection," Tony said.

Steve clenched one fist on the table. The spoon he was holding, poised to put sugar in his coffee bent into a pretzel-like shape.

"Wow, that really wasn't there before," Cassie said.

"Bro, your brain is really gay," Tommy said.

"And that is a surprise, how?" Billy shot back. "I'm kind of gay."

"Just be glad Tommy doesn't have reality warping powers, or we'd be kissing now, Cassie," Kate said dryly.

Tommy grinned. "Been visiting my mind lately, Kate?"

"Be careful or I'll turn you into my target," Kate said.

Tommy waggled his eyebrows.

"As in target practice."

Finally, they noticed their presence. Billy waved awkwardly. Cap's death glare was still kind of scary to witness, even if he knew it wasn't aimed at him.

"What wasn't there yesterday?" He said.

"Uh...." Billy said.

"Well," Cassie said.

"Yesterday you were kind of dead," Tommy cut in.

Everyone at the table froze.

"No, I distinctly remember that yesterday we had the Jocasta meeting," Tony said. "You wore a suit. You should wear a suit more often, Steve."

He smiled down at Steve, who looked up, his face for once free of the glare-of-death.

"Billy talks in his sleep," Tommy said.

"Tommy!"

"What? You do. You kept on going on how things should change, and they did. Everything is weird since yesterday."

Tony sighed. "What is it with that family and rewriting reality? I can't help but feel like I've been in this exact situation before."

"I'm quite sure we have," Steve said. "Fill us in on what yesterday was like."

"Um, well, I don't know how to put it," Cassie said.

"You were lame," Tommy said, pointing to Peter.

"You were drunk," he pointed to Tony now.

"You were dead," he pointed to Steve.

"And you were awesome," he pointed to Johnny. "Does that jog your memories?"

Nothing flickered in their eyes. This was obviously his cue. Billy started a chant of Iwantthemtoremember. In a few moments, realization dawned over them. Sad, reserved expressions came over their faces as the memories came back.

"Oh yeah, and the Civil War was basically like a big breakup, just without the sex," Tommy said.

Tony cleared his throat. Steve looked away.

"Let me rephrase that: without the sex we knew about," Tommy said. Peter looked a mite bit traumatized. Then again, children never wanted to think about their parents that way.
(Even if they were actually more superhero father figures, the squick factor still stood.)

"You know...It's not like they took away every sad thing in my life. Uncle Ben isn't back, and neither is MJ. It wasn't changed that much," Peter said.

"Except a whole lot more awesome came into your life," Johnny said with a grin. "Face it, he needed something happy. Going 'well at least I'm not having as bad luck as Matt Murdock' only goes far when it seems like the universe has it in for him."

"Cap...in the other world, you're dead. Everyone's lost without you," Billy said.

Steve took this with composure. He was always willing for the heroic sacrifice.

"That doesn't change all the problems this could cause," Steve said slowly, as if he'd carefully chosen each word.

"We could...continue on and pretend this conversation never happened and the past months and years or so were just a really bad dream?" Billy suggested. He smiled hopefully. "It can't be worse than a zombie attack. Besides, whatever things happen, we'll all band together to fix it, right?"

"Fix it," Steve said. His eyes were cold in the way only a man throwing away his only chance of happiness could.

Billy looked pained. He bit his lip.

"But you're happy and–"

"Fix it."

"Ok..." Billy said. "I'll fix it."

Then, barely above a whisper, he began to chant IwantthemtoforgetthishappenedIwant– .

*

"Yeah uh, we'll just be going to shower now. And no more underage superheroing," Billy said.

or reality warping, Billy muttered under his breath.

Cap only gave him a passing nod, as his attention was to the issue of the flaming troublemaker Peter was now apparently dating. Tony had his hand on Cap's shoulder, and watched the unfolding situation with amusement.

"It's so great that Cap and Iron Man finally acted on their feelings," Cassie gushed. "It's really so sweet..."

"Yeah, for a moment I thought we might have a civil war with the way they were fighting. But they settled it," Kate said.

"That wasn't the only thing they settled," Tommy said. He waggled his eyebrows. Kate glared at him. She was too tired to swat him.

"Spiderman and The Human Torch too. They're really cute together," Cassie said. She and Kate began chatting more on the subject, but Billy wasn't listening anymore. As they filed off to the bathrooms which were the size of most economy apartments, Billy checked each of their faces to see if anyone else remembered. Each one, even Teddy seemed completely unaware of what the world had been like just hours ago.

The secret was his and hils alone. Teddy's fingers slipped into his, filling the space between. He wondered if the shower could fit two. He raised an eyebrow, glanced Teddy's way. Teddy smiled back and winked. It was cool being practically telepathic with your half-breed alien boyfriend. He wondered if Karolina ever had that issue. He'd have to ask her sometime.

All in all, he thought to himself that it was ok, he could keep this secret. If nobody knew, then they could all be happy for once. And maybe it was cowardly and maybe there'd be trouble, but there was always trouble and he couldn't help but think that these people deserved to be happy for once in their lives. If he had to chip away at reality to do it, then so be it. He'd find a way.