fic: Flowers Fall
Jan. 16th, 2023 04:01 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
bonnefoisTitle: Flowers Fall
Series: Fire Emblem (Tellius)
Character/Pairing: Ike/Soren, ensemble
Rating: PG-13
Word count: 1961
Summary: The first petals fell from his lips when the first boy who ever showed him kindness disappeared.
Author's note: Hanahaki disease, yeah. The weird little trope that I am weirdly fond of.
This was supposed to be an offering for the IkeSoren week promoing for CYL, but my internet went down and I couldn't post it until I got my routuer fixed. Which took over a week.
The first petals fell from his lips when the first boy who ever showed him kindness disappeared. It wasn't until he found Ike again that the symptoms stopped, at least for a while. He'd almost forgotten, until at age fifteen, he saw a shop girl lean in and brush her hands across Ike's cheek.
The ache had been so intense that he could barely breathe. Like his ribs were breaking over and over. He held his hand to his chest. There was a feeling like his heart was being torn in two, and his lungs starved for breath.
So this was it, how he would die.
Ike turned, his face full of concern. He led Soren out.
Little did he know that the roots had already begun to grow in his chest.
*
He felt the breath leave his lungs when he saw the scene so slowly. A princess, in a dress of orange. The way she looked up at Ike. The way Soren watched, and his breath caught in his chest. Unable to come back as he suffocated little by little over this love which would never be his.
By then, Soren already knew the disease was beyond control. He searched through books to find herbal remedies and tinctures. Anything to let him live a little longer.
He had no deep craving for life. Soren knew just how cold and harsh the world could be. He'd almost died when he was a child. Starved alone in the forest.
The beorc had left him. The beasts of the forest had left him. Turned their head aside like he was an abomination.
But, that one boy had reached out his hand. And for him, Soren lived. And he wouldn't wish to make Ike feel anymore sorrow. Not if he could help it.
Ike didn't love him back, but he would still mourn Soren's passing. He knew it. So, Soren lived on for a little longer.
*
Battle was difficult, but Soren forced it down. Wore a mask over his face imbued with herbs and kept his face to the wind. Convinced Ike the worsening cough was just a symptom of the Daein cold. He was bargaining with death for every day now.
He could see the growing worry in Ike's eyes. Even as Ike didn't press him, let him come to the battlefield, albeit reluctantly.
Ike cared...just not in the one way Soren wished he did. Needed him to, down to his very core and lungs.
But, Ike needed him. He'd keep fighting until the very last breath.
*
The near impossible:
beating Daein with a small army, Ike loving him back, and soon, taking air into his lungs.
He never even dared to hope Daein could be so utterly defeated. The others, he knew were hopeless.
*
At least he'd lasted the war.And it was an irony. He'd survived being on the brink of starvation, cold, brigands, and so many other horrors of his childhood, only to fall to the damnable sickness, with roots that went deep into his lungs and heart, and made each breath an agony.
Ike had been his savior and his downfall all in one. Yet, Soren would never change a moment. Even if this love destroyed him from the inside.
*
At least, Soren thought wryly, he had an excuse to avoid the social gatherings. The parties, the diplomatic meetings, the slow motion destruction of seeing every flirtatious glance from the princess to Ike. And soon to be returned. Just because he hadn't realized her feelings now didn't mean that he wouldn't later. They were oh so blatant; how could he not notice?
He wouldn't live until their wedding, he wouldn't have to watch the one he loved marry another. Let Ike pick another best man, Soren couldn't endure such a cruelty. The flowers in his chest would bloom out, and fill his lungs with sorrow.
Perhaps it'd be a mercy to have the strange growth inside. He coughed. petals of dark red. Rose vine in his chest, and the love caused such thorns.
*
One moment, he'd been reading the debriefing. The next, he couldn't breathe. Soren clutched to his throat. He felt the tickle of leaves inside his lungs, the deep pain of thorns inside.
And darkness. The last thing he heard was Ike calling his name.
*
"Soren's...dying?"
Over and over the wordsNot him, not him repeated in his mind. He'd already lost his father, his mother. Ike knew that life could be painful. He still fought on.
Even more, explanation left him reeling. Flowers in his lungs? Soren loved someone? Loved them so much that he was wasting away and dying?
The entire explanation made no sense. A magic disease based on love where flowers grew up in someone's heart and lungs? He could imagine if Soren were here, he'd laugh at the possibility of such a thing. He'd say something sharp, something biting. It'd make Ike smile.
But, Soren wasn't there beside him. And the lack of him was glaring. Wrong.
The words kept coming, as the monks explained the disease he didn't understand. But, they washed over him in waves, left numb and speechless. Finally, the silence was broken. Ike began to cough. Rose petals slipped from his lips and fell to the ground. They were the same color as Soren's eyes.
*
Petals lined the floor around the sick bay. Soren was paler than usual, his eyes glassy. As Ike laid his hand upon Soren's forehead, across his brand, he felt the bite and heat of a fever.
"Soren..."
Soren's breath was a wheezing, thick cough. His voice trembled as he spoke.
"I'm sorry," Soren said. His voice raspy, and rough from so much coughing.
"Is it true? You have that disease? It's what the monks said."
Soren looked aside. Ike didn't even know the name of what would kill Soren. Perhaps it was for the best.
"Dragons and magic exists. Even this ague...and this is what will end me," Soren said.
"Don't say that, Soren," Ike said.
"The monks said it's about unspoken love. If so, then just speak up, Soren," Ike said.
"I already know the answer," Soren said flatly.
Ike coughed into his palm. Petals were gripped in his balled hands.
There was such a sad look in Soren's eyes. "Tell her. She cares for you, too."
"Her? What are you talking about, Soren?"
"The princess, of course." His voice grew more quiet. "Go...be happy. You'd make a good king. I'm sure your rule..." he broke off coughing, a more violent fit than he ever had before. His lungs were on fire as the thorns stuck deep inside him.
At the edge of death, he managed this one unselfish feat, even as each breath screamed how he wanted Ike to be his alone. Perhaps it'd kill him in the end, this one act of unselfishness. The alternative was even more painful. The thought of allowing himself to be the subject of magic. His memories of Ike all erased. He would have to leave Ike's side, or die. Soren chose death.
He'd known death for so long. He didn't fear it. He feared a life without Ike far more.
"I don't care a whit about being a noble! I've no plans to be the king of Crimea. Queen Elincia is doing fine with that on her own."
"This disease, they say--it means you love someone. But you won't say it. It feeds the vine. It sounds so strange to say."
"It does. Then, with magic things can be enigmatic and arcane," Soren said wearily.
He knew more: the seeds had been sewn long ago. In a childhood where he had starved, devoid of love, of kindness. He'd been dying all along. And Ike had saved him. And that was when this love grew up inside him. Until it became an untamed jungle, stealing his very breath.
How it ached to have Ike's hand reach out to him and know that was the moment that saved him and damned him all in one.
"It's pointless to speak. I already know what will happen," Soren said.
"But you'll die at this rate. Just... go tell the person."
Soren closed his eyes. "I'm tired, so tired...."
Each breath was full of the faint scent of roses. The parasitic rosevine had nearly filled his lungs entirely.
Ike coughed, the ache in his lungs unbearable. "Is this what you deal with every day, Soren?"
"No....not you too. Please, Ike. I wanted you to live."
Soren pushed himself up. He was weak and weary, but he reached out to Ike.
"Please. If that person doesn't love you, then take the magic. Forget them. I don't want to see you die."
"Then, there's a way to cheat death with this disease?" Ike said.
"Yes...but it has a terrible price. Forgetting the one you love forever. Leaving their side...I cannot abide by such a thing."
"Why don't you take it, Soren?"
"It's impossible..."
Soren's voice broke off as Ike stared at him with a new intensity.
And then, Ike kissed him.
*
It'd been right there, hidden in plain sight. He'd racked himself, his mind to think who Soren could love when he was so withdrawn. And each time, he'd fall into a coughing fit as the thorns sunk deep into his flesh. The pain unbearable, but which was worse? Losing him, or losing each breath.
And it was so obvious. Soren wanted to stay by his side. Soren was cold to all but him. He should've realized years ago. But, Soren was so very close, and the war had broken out, he'd lost his father.
It had been so much for his young shoulders. He'd taken that burden, but not alone.
And Ike, in his ever blunt way, turned his head, took Soren's face in his hands and kissed him. Soren's eyes were wide. He blinked, tense and hardly able to believe it.
But then, Soren relaxed in his arms. He kissed him back. It was a clumsy sort of first kiss. Ike was still searching for Soren. His best friend. The one he loved.
Soren's breath was deep for the first time in a long time. He clutched his chest.
"You're the one I love, Soren. I just didn't realize it. I'm sorry it took me this long to figure it out."
"It was always you, Ike," Soren said. His voice was raspy.
They didn't say anymore for a moment. He pulled Soren close and held him wordlessly.
I almost lost you.
*
Soren's lungs healed slowly. He'd grown accustomed to shallow breaths to try and lessen the pain from the leaves, the thorns, the growing parasitic blooms inside him that fed on his love.
Ike's had been caught earlier. His was only months of realization, not years. Soren had only partially managed it with various potions from bitter herbs. And now, he continued to take bitter herbal draughts were drank down without complaint.
They stayed at the mercenary fort with the Greil's mercenaries to heal up, but Ike had his eye on the horizon. Perhaps one day, they would leave these walls. And Soren knew where he would be.
Right at Ike's side. With the only one he had ever trusted and loved.
Series: Fire Emblem (Tellius)
Character/Pairing: Ike/Soren, ensemble
Rating: PG-13
Word count: 1961
Summary: The first petals fell from his lips when the first boy who ever showed him kindness disappeared.
Author's note: Hanahaki disease, yeah. The weird little trope that I am weirdly fond of.
This was supposed to be an offering for the IkeSoren week promoing for CYL, but my internet went down and I couldn't post it until I got my routuer fixed. Which took over a week.
The first petals fell from his lips when the first boy who ever showed him kindness disappeared. It wasn't until he found Ike again that the symptoms stopped, at least for a while. He'd almost forgotten, until at age fifteen, he saw a shop girl lean in and brush her hands across Ike's cheek.
The ache had been so intense that he could barely breathe. Like his ribs were breaking over and over. He held his hand to his chest. There was a feeling like his heart was being torn in two, and his lungs starved for breath.
So this was it, how he would die.
Ike turned, his face full of concern. He led Soren out.
Little did he know that the roots had already begun to grow in his chest.
*
He felt the breath leave his lungs when he saw the scene so slowly. A princess, in a dress of orange. The way she looked up at Ike. The way Soren watched, and his breath caught in his chest. Unable to come back as he suffocated little by little over this love which would never be his.
By then, Soren already knew the disease was beyond control. He searched through books to find herbal remedies and tinctures. Anything to let him live a little longer.
He had no deep craving for life. Soren knew just how cold and harsh the world could be. He'd almost died when he was a child. Starved alone in the forest.
The beorc had left him. The beasts of the forest had left him. Turned their head aside like he was an abomination.
But, that one boy had reached out his hand. And for him, Soren lived. And he wouldn't wish to make Ike feel anymore sorrow. Not if he could help it.
Ike didn't love him back, but he would still mourn Soren's passing. He knew it. So, Soren lived on for a little longer.
*
Battle was difficult, but Soren forced it down. Wore a mask over his face imbued with herbs and kept his face to the wind. Convinced Ike the worsening cough was just a symptom of the Daein cold. He was bargaining with death for every day now.
He could see the growing worry in Ike's eyes. Even as Ike didn't press him, let him come to the battlefield, albeit reluctantly.
Ike cared...just not in the one way Soren wished he did. Needed him to, down to his very core and lungs.
But, Ike needed him. He'd keep fighting until the very last breath.
*
The near impossible:
beating Daein with a small army, Ike loving him back, and soon, taking air into his lungs.
He never even dared to hope Daein could be so utterly defeated. The others, he knew were hopeless.
*
At least he'd lasted the war.And it was an irony. He'd survived being on the brink of starvation, cold, brigands, and so many other horrors of his childhood, only to fall to the damnable sickness, with roots that went deep into his lungs and heart, and made each breath an agony.
Ike had been his savior and his downfall all in one. Yet, Soren would never change a moment. Even if this love destroyed him from the inside.
*
At least, Soren thought wryly, he had an excuse to avoid the social gatherings. The parties, the diplomatic meetings, the slow motion destruction of seeing every flirtatious glance from the princess to Ike. And soon to be returned. Just because he hadn't realized her feelings now didn't mean that he wouldn't later. They were oh so blatant; how could he not notice?
He wouldn't live until their wedding, he wouldn't have to watch the one he loved marry another. Let Ike pick another best man, Soren couldn't endure such a cruelty. The flowers in his chest would bloom out, and fill his lungs with sorrow.
Perhaps it'd be a mercy to have the strange growth inside. He coughed. petals of dark red. Rose vine in his chest, and the love caused such thorns.
*
One moment, he'd been reading the debriefing. The next, he couldn't breathe. Soren clutched to his throat. He felt the tickle of leaves inside his lungs, the deep pain of thorns inside.
And darkness. The last thing he heard was Ike calling his name.
*
"Soren's...dying?"
Over and over the wordsNot him, not him repeated in his mind. He'd already lost his father, his mother. Ike knew that life could be painful. He still fought on.
Even more, explanation left him reeling. Flowers in his lungs? Soren loved someone? Loved them so much that he was wasting away and dying?
The entire explanation made no sense. A magic disease based on love where flowers grew up in someone's heart and lungs? He could imagine if Soren were here, he'd laugh at the possibility of such a thing. He'd say something sharp, something biting. It'd make Ike smile.
But, Soren wasn't there beside him. And the lack of him was glaring. Wrong.
The words kept coming, as the monks explained the disease he didn't understand. But, they washed over him in waves, left numb and speechless. Finally, the silence was broken. Ike began to cough. Rose petals slipped from his lips and fell to the ground. They were the same color as Soren's eyes.
*
Petals lined the floor around the sick bay. Soren was paler than usual, his eyes glassy. As Ike laid his hand upon Soren's forehead, across his brand, he felt the bite and heat of a fever.
"Soren..."
Soren's breath was a wheezing, thick cough. His voice trembled as he spoke.
"I'm sorry," Soren said. His voice raspy, and rough from so much coughing.
"Is it true? You have that disease? It's what the monks said."
Soren looked aside. Ike didn't even know the name of what would kill Soren. Perhaps it was for the best.
"Dragons and magic exists. Even this ague...and this is what will end me," Soren said.
"Don't say that, Soren," Ike said.
"The monks said it's about unspoken love. If so, then just speak up, Soren," Ike said.
"I already know the answer," Soren said flatly.
Ike coughed into his palm. Petals were gripped in his balled hands.
There was such a sad look in Soren's eyes. "Tell her. She cares for you, too."
"Her? What are you talking about, Soren?"
"The princess, of course." His voice grew more quiet. "Go...be happy. You'd make a good king. I'm sure your rule..." he broke off coughing, a more violent fit than he ever had before. His lungs were on fire as the thorns stuck deep inside him.
At the edge of death, he managed this one unselfish feat, even as each breath screamed how he wanted Ike to be his alone. Perhaps it'd kill him in the end, this one act of unselfishness. The alternative was even more painful. The thought of allowing himself to be the subject of magic. His memories of Ike all erased. He would have to leave Ike's side, or die. Soren chose death.
He'd known death for so long. He didn't fear it. He feared a life without Ike far more.
"I don't care a whit about being a noble! I've no plans to be the king of Crimea. Queen Elincia is doing fine with that on her own."
"This disease, they say--it means you love someone. But you won't say it. It feeds the vine. It sounds so strange to say."
"It does. Then, with magic things can be enigmatic and arcane," Soren said wearily.
He knew more: the seeds had been sewn long ago. In a childhood where he had starved, devoid of love, of kindness. He'd been dying all along. And Ike had saved him. And that was when this love grew up inside him. Until it became an untamed jungle, stealing his very breath.
How it ached to have Ike's hand reach out to him and know that was the moment that saved him and damned him all in one.
"It's pointless to speak. I already know what will happen," Soren said.
"But you'll die at this rate. Just... go tell the person."
Soren closed his eyes. "I'm tired, so tired...."
Each breath was full of the faint scent of roses. The parasitic rosevine had nearly filled his lungs entirely.
Ike coughed, the ache in his lungs unbearable. "Is this what you deal with every day, Soren?"
"No....not you too. Please, Ike. I wanted you to live."
Soren pushed himself up. He was weak and weary, but he reached out to Ike.
"Please. If that person doesn't love you, then take the magic. Forget them. I don't want to see you die."
"Then, there's a way to cheat death with this disease?" Ike said.
"Yes...but it has a terrible price. Forgetting the one you love forever. Leaving their side...I cannot abide by such a thing."
"Why don't you take it, Soren?"
"It's impossible..."
Soren's voice broke off as Ike stared at him with a new intensity.
And then, Ike kissed him.
*
It'd been right there, hidden in plain sight. He'd racked himself, his mind to think who Soren could love when he was so withdrawn. And each time, he'd fall into a coughing fit as the thorns sunk deep into his flesh. The pain unbearable, but which was worse? Losing him, or losing each breath.
And it was so obvious. Soren wanted to stay by his side. Soren was cold to all but him. He should've realized years ago. But, Soren was so very close, and the war had broken out, he'd lost his father.
It had been so much for his young shoulders. He'd taken that burden, but not alone.
And Ike, in his ever blunt way, turned his head, took Soren's face in his hands and kissed him. Soren's eyes were wide. He blinked, tense and hardly able to believe it.
But then, Soren relaxed in his arms. He kissed him back. It was a clumsy sort of first kiss. Ike was still searching for Soren. His best friend. The one he loved.
Soren's breath was deep for the first time in a long time. He clutched his chest.
"You're the one I love, Soren. I just didn't realize it. I'm sorry it took me this long to figure it out."
"It was always you, Ike," Soren said. His voice was raspy.
They didn't say anymore for a moment. He pulled Soren close and held him wordlessly.
I almost lost you.
*
Soren's lungs healed slowly. He'd grown accustomed to shallow breaths to try and lessen the pain from the leaves, the thorns, the growing parasitic blooms inside him that fed on his love.
Ike's had been caught earlier. His was only months of realization, not years. Soren had only partially managed it with various potions from bitter herbs. And now, he continued to take bitter herbal draughts were drank down without complaint.
They stayed at the mercenary fort with the Greil's mercenaries to heal up, but Ike had his eye on the horizon. Perhaps one day, they would leave these walls. And Soren knew where he would be.
Right at Ike's side. With the only one he had ever trusted and loved.
