fic: Definitions

[bonnefois]

Title: Definitions
Series: Fire Emblem: Awakening
Character/pairing: Laurent/Noire
Rating: NC-17
Summary: After Laurent confesses to her, they both try and figure out exactly what being in a relationship entails, especially one as complex as theirs. Both turn to books for answers, except that Noire's turns out to be particularly ribald romance novels. Noire is both embarrassed and intrigued by the erotic passages she reads, and wants little more than to give them a try.
Word count: 10,520
Author's note:

This is game era timeline (as opposed to post-game era.) As revealed in 2 supports (F!Robin and Severa), Noire is stated to be an adult, Laurent is likely around 22-23 due to timey-wimey things.

'You worry too much, that's why I love you.' is actually a canon line. It's not specifically to Noire, but just a general lover line. I always thought Laurent's lover lines fit Noire especially well.

Gaius is Noire's father, Ricken is Laurent's, and Gregor is Severa's.



It was exhausting being inside her head. She couldn't even take a moment of joy without the fears and anxiousness creeping in from all sides like shadows. Laurent loved her, even her other side, but her damn pessimistic mind kept giving her reasons why everything would fail. She closed her eyes tight. But her mind wouldn't stop with its endless, repetitive, negative chatter.

He'll tire of you. He'll be frightened away by that side of you. What do you even think you are doing, thinking you could ever be happy? It'll only hurt more when he inevitably grows tired of you constant weakness.

Except this time, there was a little voice of objection amid all the chaos.

Actually...he said 'I love both of you, perfect in your sublime duality.' A-and he said 'You worry too much, that's why I love you.' That means...that means....you're wrong. He does care.

The constant, horrible part of her mind that always told her that her friends all despised her, that they saw her a burden, that no one would ever love her had never before been challenged like this. But, it could only offer more worries.

He says that now, but do you think he could truly withstand every night being filled with restlessness and nightmares and every fear and weakness? What would someone like you know about a relationship? You'd be a failure, he'd leave in disgust. You're fooling yourself if you think someone like you would ever have a happy ending.

And to this one, she had no defense. Just because he loved her now didn't mean that he would still love her later. Those were the words which haunted her over and over, that she could not refute, even if she wanted to.

*

Laurent stayed near her on the battlefield. Though this wasn't a change. Prior to his confession, he'd kept close. She'd always thought he'd simply believed her to be too weak, but all that time he'd cared about her, loved her, even.

As much as the memories brought warmth to her, it also didn't completely dispel all the doubts in her mind.

Even though she wanted them to.

Once the day's travels had been finished, and it was time again to set up their tents, Laurent leaned in and spoke softly to her.

"Would you join me in my quarters tomorrow night?"

She blushed. "Y-Your quarters?"

"Yes, I thought we could spend some time together, if that is all right," Laurent said softly.

"Um, well..." Noire glanced away and blushed even more.

His expression seemed concerned. "Please do not feel pressured to...do anything. I simply wanted to spend more time with you. We could read together. If you feel uncomfortable with such proximity, you could sit across the tent and I'd still be happy to be in your presence. There's still so much to learn about each other. Just spending time doing chores with you feels like a thrill."

She shyly looked back at him. "...Really?"

Laurent smiled.

"Yes, completely. I don't know how I was ever so blind to my affection for you. It seems so completely obvious in hindsight. I suppose it was a mix of inexperience and the state of the world we were in. It left little time for navel gazing. Keeping my comrades alive is so ingrained that it never dawned upon me that I was especially protective of you."

He was so kind to her. And she wanted to believe so much that this kindness could last.

He kept making admissions. But he thought her nervousness was him, and not the true reason.

"The truth is....the truth is....I..."

"Is something the matter, Noire?"

"I don't actually know how to be in a relationship!" Noire burst out. "Not even a..."

Well, not a 'normal' relationship, because none of them were normal, least of all him and her.

"Typical one? I-I really don't know anything at all. We were always fighting the Risen. I don't know how to be a good girlfriend to you. I don't have any experience after all. I only have faint ideas but no idea how to be a good lover or, um, wife to you. I guess there's something about dating, and eventual marriage, but I can barely even fathom a peaceful life, or what that would look like. And...I feel awful that I'm not a good girlfriend for you, when you're being so kind to me."

She lowered her gaze.

"So...I'm sorry. I don't know how, and I can only think I will fail utterly miserably at this." Her voice broke as she said the words. Every single one hurt, as deep as a wound.

Might as well take the pain now, and accept that he'll never want to stay with you.

"And I keep thinking that I should give you an out, a chance to run away. Even as I want to cling tight to you and never let go, a part of me thinks I should just stop this before you are completely repulsed by me."

"I could never be repulsed by you, Noire," Laurent said softly.

He came a bit closer, though quite slowly.

"Was that your worry? I have no previous experience to draw back on, save for books. I have never loved another before you. I was wrapped up in research, in trying to keep the world safe. It truly surprised me the depth of feelings I had for you. I didn't even recognize it at first. Though looking back, it was always there. I was losing sleep, unable to keep myself from checking in on you. The thought of you dying filled me with such undue dread--and it still does. Of course, all I did was anger you. Though it had such beautiful, intense results."

"I-It wasn't that bad. I mean, I knew you were just looking out for me, and I appreciated your advice, but I was also angry that...I could never live up to your standards."

His brow furrowed. "You meet all my standards and then some. In fact, I am certain that there is not another upon this world, or within the Outrealms that suits me better. I did not mean to be overbearing. I simply worried so deeply about you. I am trying to better temper those worries with listening to your needs."

"I thought...I thought you would come to your senses and realize the kind of person I am. Maybe you accidentally got hexed along the way. It would make sense. There was no way you could really have feelings for me for real, and even if you did, you'd lose them once you realized how messy, how broken I am," she said.

"Noire, I already know the kind of woman you are and love you for it. Please banish these fears from your mind, for they are completely unfounded. If someone else has made you feel like this, then let me know and I will give them a sound scolding."

She glanced down to her gloved hands.

"No...the thoughts were all me. But...that's how it is with me. I think I will always be afraid and always be like this. I haven't improved at all since we came to this time. I might have even gotten... worse."

"Then I will calm your fears. As with anything, we should research. Would that soothe your nerves?"

"...I don't know. I guess it's worth a try," Noire said.

"So far, I've begun research upon the matter. However, 'How To Make Him Fall For You In A Fortnight' was little help. Hopefully the next books will offer more useful advice."

Of course, she could've simply researched it. Instead she turned inwards and felt worthless.

"I should've known to check books instead of...Making such a mess of things. I really do like you and don't want to break up at all. Sometimes I just...get terrified and sure of things and I can't stop thinking these awful things until all I want to do is keep crying. Sometimes I'm convinced that every shadow is out to get me."

He took her hand. "The past has been cruel to you. Alas, I cannot fix that. If I could find some tome to avert the pain you have been through, I would whatever the consequences. All I can do is offer you comfort now."

He squeezed her hand. "There. Do you feel better now?"

"Um, a little. Now I feel bad for having doubted you..."

"It's quite all right. Should we try reading another night, or will tomorrow be acceptable?"

His brown eyes were so warm and full of such love and affection towards her.

She had to keep reminding herself that this was all for her. The nasty voice in her head that told her she was worthless and no one would ever want to be friends with her, let alone her lover was wrong.

But, it was so easy to believe it.

"You...still want to be around me even after such an outburst?"

"Of course. You are the one I love. I shall be there with you with both the ups and downs. I only worry that you aren't feeling up to reading with me tonight."

"Um, just so you, know, there's going to be a lot of downs. I mean a lot. Probably daily, or even hourly. And the ups will probably involve me screaming at you."

Laurent smiled. "Oh, how I look forward to that."

"Ah...yes. I would like to tomorrow...if that's all right? I'm kind if drained tonight."

"I would be delighted to have your company, even for a short while," Laurent said.

*

Noire traced her fingers across the bindings of the books. The book shop was filled with everything from history to more history, and also history. No wonder Laurent spent so much time here whenever they passed this town.

Laurent would probably--make that definitely--have plenty of tomes of his own. Still, she went out during the lunch break after training and visited here.

Laurent had said that the answer would lay in books. But, Noire hadn't found a single one which would help her, though there were plenty she could give to Laurent as gifts. That was one thing she knew. People who were betrothed gave each other many thoughtful gifts.

Though she and Laurent weren't technically betrothed yet, now were they? They were...lovers? Boyfriend and girlfriend? Words still failed her.

Laurent's confession had been kind of confusing, and taken her off guard. He'd been so wrapped up in the passion of discovery that she hadn't expected it.

She'd expected another goodbye, not a admission of love.

She'd been at work on several talismans for exactly that reason. To keep him safe when she had to draw back in battle, and from every shadow and curse. If she could push her constant paranoia into something useful, then maybe...just maybe...she might be able to keep herself almost normal.

Not constantly at war with herself and convinced the shadows were cursed and her friends and boyfriend hated her.

She looked further into the small bookshop, and came across another section. A book about love? Queen Sumia was always reading these. In fact, she'd heard her telling Cordelia that this book was very good. The title read. Love's Way.

Love's Way? She certainly could use some directions, when it came to love. Maybe this would help her figure it out.

She quickly gave some gold to the bookshop owner, and left with her book. She returned to camp and settled down, the book balanced on her legs as she read.

However, it didn't take many pages for her to realize her folly. This was no instructional tome, but a romantic story. A very explicit romantic story. She wasn't even that far in and already the story had begun to become intense.

Noire blushed deep red, and was unable to look away. She kept reading, even as it made her blush.

She had to figure this out. Even if it was embarrassing.

"Oh, my knight, my hero, please accept the gift of my body...you are my only love, the only one who shall ever own my heart." she said. Her shift slipped off her supple, curvy body. He could not take his eyes off of her. His queen, his love...

Noire slammed the book shut. This was...they were....really doing that.

After a few moments, she tentatively opened the cover again. She wanted to know how it ended. She had to know how it ended.

With a glance around her, she slowly opened it up again and came to the space where she'd been.

"I will give you the utmost pleasure, my lady. For you deserve nothing less."

He knelt before her, and buried his face between her legs, worshiping her. She arched her back in ecstasy at each touch of his tongue. He continued, on and on until her cries of pleasure echoed through the halls.

Only when she was left gasping did he raise his head with a proud smile.

"I am honored to give you pleasure. I do not even deserve to kneel at your feet."

"Please, do not tease me, my knight. Give me all of you."

"My queen, not like that. There is a chance you would bear my child. I am not worthy."

"My knight, you are worthy. I can think of nothing that would make me happier than bearing your child. Please...take this as a command from your queen. I want all of you inside of me."

"I have never more joyously obeyed a command, my queen."

She cried out as he thrust deep inside her. His shaft was intensely thick, and she quivered beneath him, in sheer ecstasy of his touch...

Noire kept her thumb on the page, but had to look away with a deep blush. Her heart kept pounding, and she could feel the heat beneath her skin.

It kind of felt how Laurent described how he felt when her other side came forth...

Was it really like that? The language was kind of flowery, but the way the author described two bodies meeting made her skin feel warm. She pushed her thighs together. Between her legs had started to grow a little wet and tender. She had to bit her lower lip to keep back the surprise.

Would it be like that when she and Laurent...did that?


*

Laurent gave her a smile as she came to join him within his quarters. He sat on his bedroll, with a book splayed across his lap.

"Ah, there you are. I had begun to think you weren't coming."

"Ah...I, um...I had to do something."

She blushed, and looked away. She couldn't stop thinking about Love's Way. About how it would be to have Laurent like that. His face between her legs. His body above her, pressing her into the bedroll.

Or the next scene, where the queen bent down and took a part of the knight's...body in her mouth, and the description of how his seed ended up across her chest and dripped onto her stomach.

As the knight reached to wipe her clean, the queen said No, my love. Let me be marked by your love.

Would it be like that? Everything she'd heard had said the first time would be very painful, but it would improve after that. But, would she be filled with the kind of rapturous pleasure that the book described.

His brow furrowed in concern. "I do hope you aren't overworking yourself again."

"No, I..." she cleared her throat. "I had to check my weapons."

This brought a smile to his face. "Good. I trust they are all in working order? If you ever need help in that regard, I am always at your service."

"Thank you, but it's fine for now."

"Wonderful to hear. About yesterday--"

"Y-Yes?"

"I've found some answers within my research," Laurent said.

"Oh?" Noire said.

He nodded.

"Ylissian customs seem to dictate a swift marriage. Though that seems mostly about the noble families, and those of the clergy in order for property's sake. Some of the untitled class do such things as take their would-be lover out to dinner and actually perform more courtship, for it is less frowned upon with those classes."

"I'm not of any nobility," Noire said.

"My father is, but my mother comes from more academic stock. I hardly think it matters in the end. Father would never push me to marry for title. And I have no hold to a title in this time, for that is left to the me of this era."

"I-I see," Noire said.

Laurent continued on. His voice was soothing as he read.

"There is a note of the male paying, though that seems rather patriarchal. Also rather pointless in cases, like Kjelle and Severa, that there is no male within the relationship. Would no one pay in that situation? It's worth a thought," Laurent said.

"So, we'd just get married? That's how relationships go?" Noire said. "But...that doesn't really say what would happen afterwards. We just...keep on with our daily lives but living together?"

"A marriage within war would be quick, without much ceremony, or frippery. Perhaps the best course of action would be to postpone a marriage until the war is won, unless you desired a quicker marriage rather than a more elaborate one," Laurent said.

"You believe the war can be won so easily?"

"This world has given me hope of what I have never thought possible. We have even quelled the Valmese insurrection, and I have found my mother and father--at least, versions of them."

"I guess," Noire said.

Though she had far less hope than Laurent.

"...Wait, you said..."

"Yes?"

"Unless I...desired a marriage?"

"I wouldn't waste my time pursuing someone I did not intend to marry. I suppose there would be some value in learning, but too much heartache."

"You really want to...marry someone like me?"

"Yes, yes, and also yes. I thought I was rather clear on the issue when I confessed."

"Actually, you were so excited that you weren't very clear at all. Except that you liked my other side," she said.

"Both sides of you, in sublime duality," Laurent said.

Noire remained quiet.

"Was I too forward?"

"No, I'm just... taking this all in," Noire said.

"A lot has happened. I barely dared think we could win the war and survive this. F-falling in love with you...it wasn't part of the plan."

"No, it was certainly not part of the equation. But, being with you like this has brought me much joy."

"I've spent almost every second of our relationship together yelling at you or worrying you," Noire said.

"Yes, that is how it is with us. I would ask for nothing more," Laurent said.

"Hmm. Did you research on the subject?" Laurent said.

Her mind went back to the book with its ribald passages of ecstatic pleasure. She blushed. "Um. Sort of..."

"Oh, then what did you find? Did it match my findings, or did you come to different conclusions. We could discuss them, if you aren't too tired."

She blushed even more.

"Th-that..."

"Ah, you are not ready to speak of it yet? No matter. It can wait. I have more to report in my findings regardless."

He fell quiet, and for a moment she thought it would simply be him waiting on her to speak this second. But he flipped the page and continued on.

"I began to watch the older generation. Our parents, and others. From what I saw, I believe relationships consist of bonds of friendship, support, partnership which are intermixed with passion and romance. Their relationships often consist of fighting side by side, and supporting each other in and out of battle."

"The beginning stages were marked by courtship, often started by the male, though certainly not always. It was Cordelia who proposed to Gregor, for example. The mentality that the man must be the one to instigate it, however, was rather parochial and patriarchal and should be destroyed completely. Some aspects of courtship included the grand and obvious: gifts, wooing, poetry, again usually done by the man, though not entirely or always. Perhaps in other cultures it would happen differently. However, in Ylissean, it seemed rather simple."

"My thesis is: we have all of these components. Worrying about the 'proper' way, or that we are not 'doing it right' are simply useless worries. I believe we are already well on the path to have a strong relationship, and that we should forge on to form a relationship on our own terms, without worrying whether we are 'normal' enough or not."

"Then...I wasn't failing after all?" Noire said softly.

"No, Noire. You haven't failed me at all. What would make you think such a thing?"

"Y-You won't even let me carry buckets," she said, a bit petulantly. "I can't even help you with simple task."

"It's perfectly normal for someone to worry about the person he loves," he said. He pushed his glasses up. "If you were to get grievously injured, I would be utterly devastated. I already lost my parents. To lose you would be...unthinkable."

"But... I want to be strong for you as well," Noire said.

"Strength isn't about denying yourself. It isn't about improper nutrition, or pushing oneself too far. In truth, there are many kinds of strength. Physical, emotional, spiritual, magical, and strength of will. It is rare for any one person to be endowed with all of these."

"I'm definitely weak in some of those," Noire said.

He brushed her cheek with his gloved hand.

"As am I. That is simply the matter of life. But together, we can help support through our weaknesses, our faults, and learn to be better. I ask that you allow me to care for you, and let me take things that might hurt you. For both our sake's, so I do not have to worry at your sick bed."

"Oh, all right," she said.

"If our relationship consists of me loving both sides of you, and taking great pleasure when that side of you comes forth, then it is no one else's business but ours what happens within our bedroom."

"Ah! T-the bedroom..."

"...Was I too forward? I fear I am very blunt at most times. If so, we could prolong such thoughts for as long as you should need. I could read to you from afar and--"

She shifted. "No, it's not that. I want to be close to you, but it...makes me blush. I've never done things like that before, but...they might be nice?"

"Such things seem entirely common to the inexperienced. I, myself am completely inexperienced as well."

He got a little closer. His hand now rested on the ground beside her. "Are you comfortable with this proximity? Or shall I make a move to the other side of the tent?"

"I want to be close, and to be with you, but I'm afraid I'll do a bad job."

"I am quite certain you will be entirely fine. And if anything happens, then we will have learned more."

He came even closer, but he did it so gently and slowly that she didn't feel that familiar spike of her body sounding the alarm that danger was near. That frenzy of panic which often brought out her other side.

In truth she felt a strange mix of calm and anticipation on what might come, and if it'd really feel that good. The book had described a kind of pleasure that made the hero nearly scream.

Noire was already good at screaming. That had to count for something, right?/

Honestly, being around him was addictive. Even though a part of her kept reminding that there was no way something this good could last. She wanted it to, though. Oh how she wanted to think she could study the right book and find some way to fix herself so she'd never drive him away.

Being loved...Oh, how she could get used to the wonderful feeling of being able to challenge the constant nasty inner voice in her mind that reminded her just how unlovable she was at every minute of the day.

He liked her other side. He seemed to even like the side of her which was constantly worried and pessimistic. And because of that, she was starting to break the cycle, challenge these thoughts before they controlled her completely.


"Good! From my research, I can say that a relationship requires synchronicity. Just as when fighting side by side, we attune our attacks in turn, we must learn to compromise and prioritize each other's well being," Laurent said.

"I don't know if I'm any good at that...considering that I might start screaming at any point, but I'll try..."

"Mm, that's certainly sounds appealing. Does this offer you comfort? Do you want to negotiate it in any way?"

"A little," Noire said.

"A little? What could I do to help make that number higher?"

"Well, I still can't help feeling like I'm falling behind, and like... you'd have a better relationship with literally any other person."

"You undervalue yourself," Laurent said.

"I know what it is on the inside of my head, and trust me, it's even worse than what you see."

"You have a quick wit when it comes to potions, herbs and even magic. Despite what you say, the mere fact that you have continued on through such struggles shows quite a bit of determination and fortitude. You are talented with many weapons, but most of all you have marked skill with your bow. You also show a definite attunement to magic," Laurent said.

"You are also quite beautiful. I find I could look upon you all day and never grow tired of it, and I've only seen you clothed."

She blushed at that.

"Really? You think I'm pretty?"

"I think you utterly gorgeous, with beauty to rival the gods themselves. Hopefully such an admission doesn't count as blasphemy."

"I-I'm not as good with words as you. All I can say is I like you."

She held her hot face in her hands as she blushed. "I-I think you're handsome and nice and...."

Oh, it was too much. She clutched at her talisman.

"PATHETIC WRETCH, YOU WILL KNEEL AT MY FEET AND LICK MY BOOTS!"

He took a very sharp breath in. "I-I would, gladly."

"A-ah! That didn't come out like I meant it to. I-I was just trying to get a boost of confidence."

"Oh? I would hope one day you would keep that promise your other side said."

"D-Did she threaten something awful? S-Sorry...."

"No need to apologize for who you are, Noire. I love that side of you as well."

"I know there is still so much further for me to learn. And that to become a truly good husband for you. We both have much studying to do. Indeed, I was so overtaken with joy that first time, I forgot the most important thing. Exactly the words I was to say to you."

"Yes, that's right...I had more to say to you."

"Y-Yes?" Noire said.

He glanced about the tent and frowned.

"No...This will not do."

"No? Is...is something the matter?"

Was this the moment when he woke up and realized the world was filled with people who could adore him and not be as broken as her?

Laurent rose up and ducked out the tent door. "Come with me," he said suddenly.

"Laurent, the Risen come out in droves during the dark," Noire said, her voice filled with alarm.

"Of course. We won't go far beyond the guards. If any come, we can surely fight them off."

"A-ah, but why? Why are we leaving the tent?"

"Because this moment needs a proper place for such a declaration, and the drab walls of my tent are not such a place."

"O-Okay."

He took her hand in his, and led her out. They'd encamped before a lake, surrounded by woods. Many guards were stationed around. The moon was full above them and reflected upon the dark lake.

"Yes, this is suitably romantic."

"...Suitably romantic?"

"Yes, after much research, I have been working on my 'dreamy training.' I did not quite get to finish the first time the entirety of my feelings, but it is probably best that I saved it for now. I was a bit blunt then, and left you a little taken aback."

"I didn't expect you telling me that you wanted me to yell at you. In fact, that was the least thing I ever expected to hear," Noire said.

"Nor did I expect to find such a fortuitous discovery, but so be it. If I am to be yelled at for the rest of my days, I will be so very happy."

He got on one knee.

"My research says that the act of getting on one's knee to propose is actually linked to the fealty of knights to the king and queen, fascinating, no? Oh, but I digress. Noire, I wish for nothing more than to spend every single day of my life by your side. Protecting you, loving you, seeing each side of you in turn--I love you, every single part of you."

In his hand was a band branded with swirls about it made by magic. A ring forged in magefire. It glowed faintly in the light, reacting to his magical power.

"I had meant to tell you this when I first confessed, but I am afraid I completely got caught up in you. See, this is my mother's signet ring, one of my only remnants of her, and one of my most precious mementos. It was not made with dark magic, and and the magic within means no curse could ever linger upon it, so please don't worry."

She remained quiet, and captivated.

"...Was I too soon? If you need more time to decide and court, then I suppose...but I would regret it all my life if I was not blunt in my intentions and someone else swooped in and stole you away," Laurent said.

"No! No...I like...love you. Being around you for the rest of my life sounds so comforting. But, sometimes I can hardly believe this even happened. That you love me even as I am. Good things don't happen to me."

"I intend to change that, even if I must challenge fate and the entire world itself. I want to spend the rest of my life making you smile."

"And...isn't there somebody else out there more suited to you? Why would you choose me of all people?"

"There isn't. Only you are for me. I chose you because I love you, Noire. Every single part of you. As I have said many times--"

"And I even though a part of me is really happy to hear it, a part of me doesn't believe it. I'm happy and I feel like I'm not worthy of being so happy, if it makes any sense. I want so much to believe you and have a happy relationship with you, but I can't believe something that good would ever come to me"

"Noire...you deserve the utmost happiness. And I will become the man who can give that to you. Until then, I'll be by your side. Keeping you safe, and making you smile."

"You already do. And...this ring is so incredibly beautiful. I want to be your wife so much. But, you should know..I have constant nightmares. I sometimes feel like I'll never get better from this war. It's taken so much from me. I just...feel like one day you'd regret your choice to love me. But I want to believe and hope in the future...and you."

"I would never regret loving you."

"It's going to be difficult. I'll be afraid of every shadow and constantly full of horrible thoughts and fears. I won't be a...pleasant person to be around. I'm a mess, and you don't like messes."

"I know this about you and already love you because of it."

"B-because of it? Not in spite of?"

"Of course, as I have told you."

"I want...."

Oh, the words were so hard to say. She clutched her talisman tight.

"I WANT TO MARRY YOU! BE TIED TO ME IN ETERNAL SERVITUDE!"

"Oh, yes! I am thrilled you understood exactly what I was asking for without any further explanation."

He rose up.

"Perhaps I should've asked your parents first...I hadn't even considered the traditions, though they are a bit patriarchal, it's better to be safe than be cursed or shot with an arrow for forgetting them."

"You probably would've gotten cursed anyways if you did," Noire said.

"We could have a long betrothal, if you wished. But I wanted to make it entirely clear the depths of my affection for you. When I say I love all of you, I mean it. I would never play with your heart or cast you aside."

"Noire...may I kiss you? Please do not feel pressured. If you are uncomfortable at all, we will stop immediately and I will return to my own chambers."

She nodded. "Please do..."

He cupped her cheeks with his gloved hands. The leather was almost as cool as the night air. "I've wanted to for a while, but I wanted to take this slowly and make sure you were ready."

"I wanted you to kiss me. And I wanted to kiss you, but I got too embarrassed before," she said.

He slowly bent down. The light of the moon was blocked out by his hat. It felt so good to be in his arms, to feel that warmth of their lips together.

There was a rustle in the bushes nearby. Noire let out a cry and drew away.

He stepped in front of her, his tome in hand. In the moonlight he glowed bright with unrestrained magic.

But instead, a little night bird flew away into the tree tops.

"Phew, I thought...it might be a Risen. Um...Can we...continue...back in your chambers?"

"If that's what you wish. If you prefer to end the night like this and--"

"STOP TALKING, START WALKING!"

"A-ah, y-yes. A-As you command, my dark mistress..."

*

This time in his quarters it wouldn't be just reading. She felt that familiar nervousness, mixed with anticipation. His bedroll was so near. Of course, he never left it messy. Even if he intended to just return in a few moments.

"My tent is protected by magic. I'd like to eventually make sigils for each of the tents, but I'm still perfecting the method. I wouldn't want to use an unsafe, perhaps dangerous sigil. They can be quite...explosive."

"But, what about you?"

"I've tested it thoroughly for quite some time. I believe it is sound, however I still need to ensure a few more tests."

"Ah, thank you. Could we..." she cleared her throat. "Do some more of that? Like we did outside?"

"Of course. I wish for nothing more than to kiss you all night..."

He cleared his throat. "Of course, only within your boundaries, and what you are comfortable with."

"I'm going to come closer now, if that's all right," he said.

"Okay," she said softly.

She almost wondered if he would ask at every step. If he did, her other side would surely come out. Though Laurent was like that.

"Standing would be tiring, so...maybe we should...lie on the bed roll? Together?"

"Ah, yes... You're right."

She glanced near the bedroll, but instead he sat on the floor. He wrapped her in an embrace, and helped her up onto his lap. Each kiss was entreating and gentle. She clutched his robes with such desperation, and deepened the kiss. She ground her hips against him, and ran her hands down his chest. Oh, she liked what she felt. She liked every damn part of him.

As their bodies met, even through their clothes, she felt a rush that she'd never felt before. She kissed without abandon, and ground her hips against him. She felt hardness against her. Her mind went back to the queen and knight, their desperate longing.

She kept kissing him, grinding against him, until they would have to break apart to due to the intensity of each heavy breath. She desperately rubbed herself against him, and took deep pleasure to hear him moan against her lips.

She took deep breaths through her nose as they kissed. Her mind felt almost dizzy from how good it felt.

And they kept like that, kissing and grinding together fully clothed. She rubbed herself against his thigh, only to find the pressure and pleasure inside her increase tenfold.

She desperately rubbed herself against him, only to hear the moans of him beneath her which were only broken off by their quick and forceful kisses as she claimed his mouth as her own.

Noire let her head roll back as unexpected pleasure surged and tingled from her core up through her body. She tried to catch her breath, and that didn't disappear. And in that moment she was safe in his arms, and the thoughts were gone.

"That--That...." She let out a soft moan. He kept her held tight against him.

"You...too? I believe we both ended up climaxing. Quite close together, too. How...remarkable."

"F-Felt good."

"Yes...kissing you is one of the best experiences of my life. And just to think...it is something which can be repeated. Every day, even."

"Laurent... Can I...stay with you tonight?"

"Of course, we are betrothed and soon to be wed. I will have to inform our family in this era of our plans. I think you staying within my quarters after becoming engaged would not cause such a stir--"

"I CARE NOTHING ABOUT POLITENESS. SCOOT OVER AND SHARE COVERS, WEAKLING."

"O-Of course," Laurent said.

*



Waking up with him felt amazing. She hadn't even had a nightmare last night. And she'd slept so well. Noire nuzzled closer in his arms.

"I'm surprised you weren't already up."

"Yes, I usually do. And sleeping in was a challenge, given I have trained myself to start work right away in the morning. However, it's been so long since you've slept through the night. I wanted to let you have as much time as possible."

He leaned in to kiss her forehead.

"You are the most important person in my life. A little productivity can be made up throughout the day. You getting enough rest is far more important to me."

He was kind, and loving, and handsome and responsible and hers. The last point was something she was still getting used to.

"I want to be here, like this, every day."

"I feel the same. That's why I asked for your hand in marriage."

"Ah, could we...kiss again?"

"As much as I would love to, I'm afraid my breath may be foul, and it would be a rather unpleasant experience for us both."

Hers too, come to think of it.

"Maybe after breakfast we could find some time to sneak away? Chrom and Robin will be busy with planning..."

"A tryst in the middle of the day when we should be working? That's so..."

Laurent shuddered.

"Audaciously naughty. My heart beats so rapidly at the very thought."

"Ehe....See you then," Noire said.

*

Noire kept stealing glances at her hand throughout the day. The ring was hidden by her gloves, but even as they took a break from marching, Noire kept pulling it off to look again and remind herself.

"You keep fidgeting. Did you hurt yourself again? Do I need to call Brady?"

"No, actually I--"

Nothing caught Severa's eyes like the glint of gold.

"Let me see that," Severa said.

"That's--That's a ring!"

"E-Ehe..."

"It's not your mother's, that one was all skully and dark. This one is all shiny, and filled with magic. I'm surprised you'd even touch this, let alone wear it," Severa said.

"It isn't dark magic, it's anima," she said.

"This looks like something Laurent would wear. I never saw his signet ring, though. He's always so fussy about his belongings...wait.... Him?"

Severa grimaced. "Settling down so soon? That's so boring. It seems like everyone is getting married."

"But, what about you and Kjelle."

Severa blushed deep. "W-we're just sparring, okay!"

She glanced away. "But...I'm glad you're happy. Even if I can't imagine ever settling down with someone so utterly boring. And I'll have to go tell him that he ever hurts you, he'll have to deal with me."

"He's really been very kind. And I'm actually really happy to not feel so alone anymore. I'm not strong like you, Severa. I know that you want to go travel the world long before you settle down. But I...get scared easily."

She looked down to her ring.

"I don't find him boring. I find Laurent...calming. I don't feel as bad when I'm around him. He's always very gentle and never berates me when I get paranoid or scared or have nightmares. Even when I break down and say horrible things, he's still very kind and supportive to me...Sometimes I feel like I don't deserve it."

"You deserve to be happy, you know," Severa said, her voice full of exasperation.

"Honestly, I completely support you if he can get you to ignore the part of you that tears yourself down so much. Seriously, who put those thoughts in your head?"

Risen. Losing her parents. The loss of everything in the timeline they had lived in.

But Severa knew that too well.

"Laurent would never hurt me...he's far too kind and loyal. But, if someone I loved ever hurt me...you'd have to wait in line after mother and father got finished with what was left of them. There'd probably be nothing left but bones for crows."

Severa smirked. "That's for sure."

"Huphm. You're all settling down. I guess I can't blame Yarne, wanting to continue his species and all. Still, it's so annoying! Just giving up and getting married and growing old and having a family."

"I'm sure somebody will like you too, Severa."

"Of course they will! I'm just so talented!"

"Look, I'm happy for you, okay? But you better make me your maid of honor, or I'll never forgive you."

Noire laughed softly. "Of course I will."

*

She managed to be the first back to his chambers, the moment breakfast was done. She paced the short space, full of nervous and anticipatory energy. Just the thought of kissing him left her so hot.

She'd read the pages over and over, as if she could find some runic inscription or path to make her figure out a way to work this. Maybe she should show it to him.

She was sure she couldn't explain this passage without blushing, or her other side coming out.

"Um, Laurent, I..."

"What's wrong, Noire?"

"I need you to read this!"

Laurent took the book and began to carefully examine it.

"You want me to read this to you tonight? It seems to be...a ribald romance? One endorsed by Queen Sumia, to boot."

"Yes, I was trying to figure out how to have a relationship and stumbled upon this book. The title made me think it would, you know, help. Because it was called Love's Way. I thought it would be like a map."

"I'm not sure a book of fiction is the best example. Though not having read it yet, I cannot say for sure."

"Just, please..." She took a breath. "READ IT, NOW, YOU CHATTERING SCRIBE!"

"Then y-you'll understand. It starts rather fast."

"Ah...yes.....Did you want me to read it aloud?"

Oh how Noire blushed. She buried her face in her hands.

"I'll take that as a no, and I will read silently."

He began to read the pages and suddenly stopped. His brow furrowed for a moment.

"This is..."

"I...I want you to do that to me! I want to know what it feels like! I can't stop thinking about those passages...about being that way with you."

She hadn't even lost control and gripped her talisman. She blushed again. The words had come out so desperate, so entreating.

"Are you sure this is what you want? I would not want you to feel pressured simply because I am filled with a great desire for you. I would gladly let our engagement be chaste. I can take care of my own needs for as long as you need, even if it takes years and--"

"YES, DAMN YOU! FUCK ME SENSELESS ALREADY!"

"A-Ah..." He took a shuddering breath.

"T-That's what I want. I want you. L-Like the book."

"You want us to playact that we are a queen and her devoted knight? An interesting idea...I had not considered such a possibility. But as you bring it to light, I find myself very intrigued by the possibility..."

"Ah, no. I want to know how it feels with...your head, between my thighs, and you...inside of me, like that. Ever since I read it I couldn't stop thinking of us being...like that. If it would feel as good as the book said. If I'd like it. If I'd feel better with you inside me."

She could barely get the words out, she blushed so much.

"It would be my pleasure to serve you," Laurent said softly.

"Is it all right if I touch you?"

She nodded. She didn't trust herself to speak.

He palmed her breast over the material of her shirt, and leaned in to kiss her.

"As this is the first time we've gone this far...I want to go slowly, all right? At least at the start until the desire builds up more."

Tension built up within her. She would break soon. She had to remind herself that Laurent really wouldn't mind. That somehow, she'd found someone with quirks who matched hers.

He gently adored her breasts with his hands as he kissed her.

He flinched and pulled back.

"Is something wrong?"

"While I am finding that perhaps I am aroused by pain on some level, your buckler is digging into my side in a way which is not particularly stimulating. Interesting how not all pain triggers such a positive experience with me," he said.

"O-Oh. Um, I'll get it off. I got caught up and...forgot."

"No need to worry. I certainly have many metal buckles which could accidentally leave bruises on you," Laurent said.

"Help me with my shirt?"

"I would gladly do so."

He helped her out of her shirt and bucklers first.

He bent before her, as a servant would a princess and took off her boots. He kissed her there, on her leg before he took off her pants.

She wore only her shortclothes now. The rags which she had wrapped about her large chest to try and keep them supported, and the cloth about her waist.

Now that she was in the modern times, without the constant despair and lack of supplies, she really needed to upgrade her underthings to be more supporting.

"You are so unfathomably beautiful, Noire. I feel lucky to just be here basking in your glory."

"No one's ever thought I was pretty before."

"I am sure some have, though I am grateful they did not speak up and I was the one who would be your husband."

He kissed up her thigh very gently. She was surprised how sensitive she was there.

Laurent pulled back and paused.

"What do you want me to do to you?"

"Um, my clothes aren't entirely off yet."

"Yes, there is that."

He carefully undid her shortclothes.

"But, you're still clothed," she said.

"Do you think I am worthy of having my clothes removed?"

"I want to see you, so yes."

"It'll take some time to undo these buckles. Quite some time, I am afraid."

She giggled a little at that.

"I'll watch, then."

"I am not sure I am suited to a striptease, but I'll try and not bore you as I undo every buckle."

He got up and began to one by one finish up each buckle. At first, it was amusing. But, eventually she grew impatient from the waiting.

A dark look came over her face.

"REMOVE YOUR CLOTHES AT MY COMMAND, YOU WORTHLESS WHELP!"

He shuddered. "Y-yes, mistress."

He worked faster, and his hands trembled with such eagerness to be free of his robes that he could hardly undo his buckles.

Noire wrapped her arms about her knees and pulled them close.

"Mnn, it's cold."

"Wrap yourself up in the blanket. I will be there to warm you in a...short while. Or maybe a little longer."

Off came his boots, his gloves. Buckle after buckle was undone until his pants and tunic and cloak, and even his hat were neatly left folded beside the bed roll.

Laurent was tall, and rather lean. He wasn't as strong as some of the others, and he had several scars over his pale skin.

She liked that, she realized. His thin, not bulky frame and grace.

He climbed in under the covers with her.

"What do you want me to do to you, Noire?"

"T-touch me."

"Where?"

"Everywhere."

"And where do I begin?"

"I DO NOT CARE, SIMPLY START!"

He started at her back and gently worked his way up to her shoulders.

"Feels good..."

He took her nipple in his mouth and sucked. She felt and instant clench of pleasure all the way between her legs. She was stunned at just how intense it was.

"L-Laurent, please."

"What do you wish me to do?"

"I-It's embarrassing to say," she said.

"Yes, perhaps, but to properly serve you, I need to know."

"B-between my legs...with your mouth...L-Like in the book..."

He shifted down, until his face was between her legs entirely. She tensed slightly at the first tentative touch of his lips and tongue exploring her. The second time, she wasn't able to hold back her cries.

"Did I hurt you?"

"N-No, it's the opposite. It feels so good, please don't stop, don't stop, DON'T YOU DARE STOP!"

Oh, the book didn't lie. His tongue was so soft and warm, and yet relentless and gentle in his caresses. She gripped his hair hard and ground herself against his tongue with wild abandon. And the touch of his lips, like a kiss drove her to even more heights of pleasure.

She was about to apologize for her loss of control and roughness, but his moaning certainly left no question whether he was enjoying being manhandled like this.

She was on the very brink of release when he finally coaxed her with the soft brush of his lips and tongue.

"That felt so good," Noire gasped.

Words couldn't even describe how good it felt. The warmth of his fingers, and his tongue all against her.

Laurent smiled as he wiped his mouth clean.

"Phew, I must admit I am glad. It was my first time, so I did not have expectations that it would go so smoothly. I personally was convinced that I would have to apologize for sloppiness, and promise that next time will surely go better."

"No, it was...good. Um, I already said that. Great? Wonderful? Really good? Ehe."

"Are you satisfied, Noire?"

"It felt good, really good... But, um... I....I want you inside me. Like, in the book," she said.

"Two things I should note. One, a pregnancy during war could be dangerous. I would worry about what long travels and battle might do to you while you are carrying a child. Secondly, coming together like this may hurt. Much reading I have done says that first times for some women can be quite painful. Though it did notice that more active women, soldiers, especially those who rode often did not experience this so much."

"I'll be okay. I still want you inside me. I...took some herbs, to keep that from being an issue. I read up on it."

"What I want...is for you to be on top of me. The pressure and the weight of your body, h-holding me down so securely...just the very thought leaves me breathless," Laurent said.

It diverged from the book, though the idea was intriguing."

"A-Are you sure? I won't know what to do and I might fail."

Then Laurent would hate her. She bit her lower lip. But, Laurent loved her, flaws and all. She just had to keep reminding herself that and not letting the panic overwhelm her.

"I only know from books, so we will be evenly matched in that. While an instruction can be valuable, to actually perform it correctly may take several tries. You won't fail me, Noire. I'm sure of it," Laurent said.

"O-Okay. I'll do my best. I'll try not to disappoint you."

"I can promise one thing, you will never disappoint me. Worry me, yes. Thrill me, certainly. But I have never felt disgust or disappointment in you and never shall," Laurent said.

Laurent shifted until he was on his back. Noire climbed up to straddle his hips. Her hands rested at his chest. He was slim, and as a mage he wasn't extremely bulky with muscle. However, with all the exercise he did get, he was still toned.

She hesitantly ran her hands over his chest to feel the definition of his muscles beneath her palms.

She'd get to do this, and feel him almost every day of their marriage. Which was a pretty exciting thought, actually. She liked the heat of his body and the feel of his skin.

Laurent let out a soft groan, and she drew back suddenly.

"O-Oh. Um, I'm not too heavy, am I? Am I hurting you?"

"No....you feel incredible. And I daresay you are not hurting me enough for my tastes."

"Ehehehe..."

She felt him hard against her. She hesitantly grinded her hips so that her slick labia brushed against his cock. He let out a soft sigh of pleasure.

She kept up with this slow pressure and grinding. The more she rubbed against him, the better it felt. Her vagina clenched, completely wet now.

Maybe now Noire found the weakness in using ribald novels for instructions. She tried to remember the scene, but it had gotten all flowery the moment the knight actually got inside the queen.

Laurent was going to be inside her body. And it might hurt at first, but so much had hurt in her life, a little pain wouldn't make much difference, now would it? Maybe it would feel as good as the other things they'd done together.

"Um, I'm going to...."

"Grip the base. Guide me inside you. I am yours to do with what you please," Laurent said.

She bit her lower lip. Her hand trembled a little as she took a gentle grip on him and got the tip of him right against her. The pressure of the tip of him left her tingling with pleasure.

"Move in me? P-Please?"

"Yes..."

She let out a little whimper.

It did hurt at first. And even if she was slick from arousal, it was a tight fit for her first time. But, it also felt good. Really good.

It was warm. So warm. She clutched tighter and tighter to him.

"Hold me down, please."

She gripped his wrists. "L-Like this?"

"Yes...you could so easily overpower me like this. It's quite...alluring..."

She had to admit, it was pretty sexy. She'd been taken aback by his suggestions at first. But, now that she had him pinned and under her control, it wasn't just her other side that liked this.

"Ride me."

She moved her hips and felt him move deep inside her. Very slowly at first. Laurent was definitely holding back.

"It doesn't hurt, does it?"

"I-It didn't hurt much. A-And it feels good now."

"Good. Please speak up if you wish to stop, or go more slowly."

"L-Laurent..."

"Yes, love?"

"Shut up and fuck me," Noire said savagely.

He took a very deep breath. "...Yes, dear..."

Noire had to take things into her own hands. Literally. She kept his wrists pinned and began to set the pace, because Laurent wouldn't take her hard enough. He was too worried about hurting her.

She tightened about him and took him deeper and deeper. His cock hit right deep in her. Something perfectly sensitive.

Holding him down like this was actually pretty hot. It'd definitely diverged from the novel. But this was good, too. She breathed through her nose, short quick breaths as she tightened about him.

The pace quickened. She could barely even think as she rode him hard enough to hear their skin slap against each other. Hard enough that she would probably leave bruises on him where she gripped his wrists, and more.

Her breath came out hard and heavy as she took him as deep as she could. She came again, and Noire was startled by how good and pleasurable the final release felt. She loosened her grip, and nearly collapsed on top of him. She was even more slick and warm now, from where he'd come inside her. Laurent slid out, but stayed close and held her tight to him.

"Y-You're so beautiful and so strong, Noire. I am a very lucky many. That was...beyond thrilling. The pleasure was immeasurable and unbelievable. And to think, we have our entire lives together to improve and test out more ways to find such unbearable ecstasy...I can scarcely wait."

"Ahh...I...I love you. I love you so much."

Laurent smiled, and stroked her hair.

"And I love you, Noire. I must ask, though. Was it quite painful? I tried to be as gentle as I could."

"A little, but it was kind of drowned out by how good it started to feel after. I've, um, never felt anything like this before. I, um, really am looking forward to being married to you, Laurent. E-Especially if every night will be like this..."

Her face was hot with the mere admission of just how much she had enjoyed bedding him.

"I too can scarcely wait to be wed and spend the rest of my life in complete bliss with whatever side comes forth."

"I like waking up with you and sleeping beside you and..."

She blushed.

"This...what we just did together. I really liked that."

"Me too. It was more pleasurable than even I had anticipated. And that was our first time. Next time will be even better."

"Laurent, I'm sorry for the things I said earlier. I-I just like you so much it scares me. Of course, everything scares me. I don't know how I got so lucky to be loved like this by you, but I felt like I'd ruin it. And a part of me wants to run away before I get too close and get my heart completely broken. B-But... you wouldn't do that. I know that now."

He kissed her forehead.

"I'm glad you were open with me, so such fears could be laid to rest. You said 'felt.' You no longer have such fears?"

"Um, I-I think you'd stay with me. And be happy with me. Even if I scream, or get worried constantly, or am paranoid. Because for some reason, you like me as I am. And when that nasty voice in my head tells me that you're going to leave...I'll tell it to shut up."

"I'm glad. For that would be my exact reaction," Laurent said.

"Soon, we'll be married... I can hardly wait..."

"Would you care for a small ceremony? I have no need of a large one, but I would not want to disappoint you, if you dreamed of a more elaborate one."

"I-I don't know many people. As long as my friends are there, a-and my parents, too. Though mother might threaten you with death should you break my heart."

"Please reassure her that I would never do such a thing, or leave your side willingly. You are surely the love of my life. I would be a fool to ever let you go."

His praise left her abashed, but happy too. And when it came to her, Laurent couldn't seem to stop praising her. Whatever she did, breakdown or not, he told her how much he loved her and cherished her.

"We shall be married as soon as we come to the next town, if that is all right with you? Unless you wish to wait. Though, if it were up to me, I'd marry you this second."

"Really?"

"Of course I'd want to marry you. You're breathtaking in every way. So strong, so beautiful, like a goddess. I have such a deep feeling that I must marry you now before anyone tries to steal you away from me."

"N-No one else wants me, Laurent. Trust me. You're safe in that. I-It's sweet that you think I-I'm a catch, though."

"I cannot believe that. All I see in you is desirable, and beautiful to me."

"T-Thank you," she said.

It wasn't enough to really show how she felt. But, she'd have her whole life to get better at expressing how she felt. Even if she had to cling to her talisman and scream it out. Laurent would like that too.

*

She woke up in his arms. She hadn't had any nightmares, and she'd managed to sleep the entire night. She still felt the afterglow from their discovery last night in more than one way.

Even though she knew the nightmares would come back, and the fears and paranoia and constant negative in her voice would haunt her again, Laurent's arms were tight around her. She didn't have to face these fights alone anymore. If her other side came out, he would love that part of her just as much as he loved her.

She was in good hands.

Author's note:

Longing to meet his mother's intellectual standards, Laurent took his wife on an expedition around the world. Noire seemed startled at first by many of their discoveries but knew she was in good hands.

-Laurent and Noire ending.