fic: Always A Bridesmaid

[bonnefois]

Title: Always a Bridesmaid
Series: Fire Emblem Heroes
Character/Pairing: Reinhardt/Ishtar
Rating: 4,437
Summary: In Askr, the bridal festival has heroes from Jugdral visit. And amid all the happy couples, Ishtar, who was almost a bride, is a wallflower. At least, until her guard arrives too.
Author's note:

Nobody asked for this, but you get it anyways.

This implies that:
Despite everything, Reinhardt and Ishtar survived the war
Ishtar doesn't realize the full extent of what her mother did to Tailtiu.
Julius and Ishtar broke up.
1st generation people (Deirdre, Sigurd, Ishtore, Liza, etc) were summoned from before Bellhalla to this festival. Including Tailtiu.
Dress inspiration from here

Contains other canon pairings, not tagged because they show up for two sentences. And Midir/Edain, Azelle/Tailtiu (which technically WAS canon in the scrapped third arc Kaga notes.)

Thanks to SaraJaye for looking this over re: characterization. I am playing as fast as I can though FE4. But chapters...loooong. I had to get this out of my head, though.



Bowers of white flowers and ribbons adorned the castle for this festival. A bridal arc was spread out over and over, for every single bride.

And so many of them had their spouses, their loves.

Not her. Not any longer.

She would've worn a dress like this if their engagement hadn't fallen through, she thought.

The bodice was v-shaped, with a pattern of lace roses. The rose pattern continued down, at the skirt of the dress. It made a v at her skirts, with a faint pale skirts, that shone in all the colors of the moon. In the night, the dress took on a different sheen, almost ethereal. The sleeves were slightly sheer, and slightly too cold for this night. She held her arms close to her chest, as if hugging herself.

Not simply for warmth, she thought.

It was more subtle than some of the fancy clothes here.

She left her veil within her chambers. It would simply remind her more that no one would push it aside, and kiss her tonight, or any night.

Fragrant white flowers encircled her ponytail, and long, dangly earrings, and gold bracelets at her wrists completed the outfit.

She had failed many people in her life. Tine, Tailtiu, and even the children of Friege. But, in this land, she was rebuilding what she could.

Liza were here, as was Tailtiu. All in lovely white finery of beloved brides.

Ishtore smiled so much as he took her to the dance floor. The festival had turned into an almost endless reception of dancing, dinner and merriment.

Flowers were braided into Liza's red hair. Her dress was so unlike the one she donned for battle. It was a sleeveless tight lace sheath, with slits on each side of the dress to allow better movement. Ishtore couldn't take his eyes off her. His gloved hands took hers and they danced, how they danced.

It was good to see her brother so happy, frankly even to see him again. Not even death and distance could escape the summoner's call.

He didn't remember the pain Friege had been through; Ishtar did. And she would have to live with that burden.

She envied them a bit. Those summoned from an earlier time, before the world was nearly torn asunder. Back when wars seemed something very distant, and left to the tides of history.

Little Tine dressed like a flower girl was there, too. Her dress with fluffy lace that came to her knees, with a very high neck. Her ribbons were filled with white flowers, and she wore a white lacy shift. In her arms was a basket full of blossoms to leave down the aisle. She convinced a grumpy brother Arthur away from the dinner table for a moment.

Tailtiu's laughter could be heard even above the noise of the crowd. Her dress was especially fancy, all ruffles and lace with a massive skirt which was edged with gold. Her hair was down, and her veil had been pushed back over her head.

This Tailtiu wasn't the one from her time, but earlier. Before she grew gaunt, and finally disappeared. Her smile was bright, and still unbroken. She had no clue of what was to come, or even of the daughter and son she would have one day.

Another chance, perhaps. She never quite knew the extent to what happened to Tailtiu, only that she had disappeared, and Tine had always seemed so small and frightened.

Now Tine nibbled on desserts, with her brother nearby. She didn't join the dancers. But, she looked happier than Ishtar

In the corner of her eye, she saw a familiar figure come near. She turned again, to be sure she wasn't mistaken.

So many times after she dismissed him, she thought she saw him, like a ghost, at the corner of her eye. But it'd always be some other of the Gelpritter, who soon would earn Julius's ire if they ever got too close.

Of course, no one could be mistaken for Reinhardt of Friege. He was peerless among knights, and no other man of Friege had ever reached his achievements.

Reinhardt wore a dark suit, with a cravat at his neck. He looked especially pristine and handsome today. So much so that she could not draw her gaze away. He was broad-shouldered, strong and dark and framed by the lanterns.

She smiled slightly, for the first time in a while.

"Reinhardt....you've returned."

What time would he have sprung from? Before their last parting? Or a Reinhardt who never knew what it was to be dismissed from her service?

The other dancers upon the floor were from far earlier, a happier time. She thought perhaps he, too might be as well.

But, the sadness in his eyes told all, before she could even put it into words.

He was definitely her Reinhardt.

"I wondered if you would be here."

He glanced back, with a slight caution to see if he was too close and would draw Julius's rage.

"I am alone."

"And Lord Julius..." Reinhardt trailed off.

"Is not here. And will not be here," she said.

"You're attending the festival as well? I hadn't noticed you among the party."

His lips twitched.

"I am your bodyguard; I'd go to Hel and back should you will it."

"I'd rather you stay by my side. Far too many have been to Hel now."

"Were you waiting long?" she said.

"It is no matter. I had something upon my mind."

"And have you solved it?"

"There never will be a solution. It should not be upon my mind at all. And yet it still remains, despite my attempts to best it."

What a strange thing to say. Though she noticed a slight tension in him, so she changed the subject for both their sakes.

"A festival for brides...I must admit I feel somewhat out of place now."

It was a stark reminder of everything she wouldn't have now.

Tailtiu and Azelle looked so happy as they waltzed. Azelle was a bit clumsy, but Tailtiu laughed off every time he stepped on her feet.

Midir kissed the hand of his lady, and now wife. Her white dress was almost as voluminous and elegant as her long curling hair. She smiled serenely back at him as he led her to the dance floor with almost excessive gentleness and care.

They weren't the only ones on the dance floor. Sigurd and the mysterious and beautiful woman he'd found in the woods, and Quan and Ethlyn waltzed in all their finery.

Deirdre's dresses looked feathery, with long sleeves. Sigurd held her with such tenderness as they danced.

Ethlyn's dress was backless, with a low scooped neck. Her veil was pushed back, though Quan looked tempted to kiss her again, and again.

Ethlyn laughed. "It's so nostalgic, just like when we first were married. I nearly wore out my dancing shoes that night."

Quan smiled, and held her close.

"Then we will have to buy many more shoes, now won't we?"

She could see the shared affection between Sigurd and his new bride. For, they were from before. It was like watching the past unfold before her. A past which she knew would end up in flames.

Yet, it was still beautiful, and pristine. This moment of happiness captured in glass forever.

They kept to the back, wallflowers the both of them.

Of course, they were the outliers here. In a bridal festival of so many lovers, and some of their future children who had come along.

As the night wore on, Reinhardt had his fair share of offers to dance, from both men and women. He refused each, with a faint, wry smile.

And it was always the same. I must attend to my duties.

It was quite rude, to see them come even when she was right beside him. But, she couldn't fault them entirely. He was a remarkable dancer.

"You never married, Reinhardt," Ishtar said.

She'd thought of that often, recently. Strange, in the wake of her engagement ending how all she could think of was how her guardian had never once accepted a single proposal.

Certainly he was very desirable and of marriageable age. He was the most known knight of all of Friege, and her very own guard.

Yet, she had never heard of a single betrothal for him.

Had there even been proposals? Surely there had to have been. Many of the land must find him alluring in many ways.

"You are the most peerless knight within the land, and there has not even been a single request for your hand?"

"My duty is to guard you."

"I would have released you to anyone, should you have asked," she said.

And the silence loomed on as they watched the many happy couples. He said nothing, but she knew.

You already released me..

She bit her lower lip. What a way to ruin the night.

The moment passed. She watched the dancers upon the dance floor, the march of the bridal festival long over.

Reinhardt was a skilled dancer. They'd only danced once, at a party. Julius had felt unwell that night, and Ishtar tired of being the wallflower.

When Julius found out, he fumed for weeks. And there was no more dancing. Reinhardt had been forced by such rages to keep his distance from her. Even as her guard, he would stay far away. Like a servant blending into the background.

And that was only the beginning.

No matter how bad it became, she always reached and tried to find the man she had loved. Even as he grew violent, bloodthirsty and did unforgivable things. She forgave and forgave and forgave him.

But even Ishtar had her limits.

"Do you feel ill? Do you wish to return to your chambers?"

Reinhardt's face was filled with concern. He was attuned to her moods, her every sigh and unsteady breath. At times he seemed to sense her needs and wants before she did.

Of course, all good aspects of a guard.

But somewhere, it had changed. Reinhardt had in reaction to Julius's rages, pulled away. Walls were put up between them. Where once he had been her nearest ally, he became simply one of the Gelpritter. As unreadable as stone.

"No, I wish to stay. It's been so long since merriment and galas. I miss it. I feel as though I lost something of myself during the war."

She sighed softly.

Was it frivolous to wish for a return to those happy days. Even though at that time, the child hunts went on and there was so much sorrow in the world?

"I miss those days. Halcyon innocence, before I knew the ugly underside of Friege and the world around me."

"You didn't know of the world then," Reinhardt said.

She bowed her head. It was one day of joy. She could set aside her sorrows for this. She used to do it with ease.

It'd been so easy, before she knew the way the world truly was.

"Reinhardt, If I asked you to dance, would you accept?"

"Always, Lady Ishtar."

"Always? Even if you were in battle?"

He smiled wryly. "The better to dodge arrows and attacks."

"You say we would dance upon the battlefield as arrows flew about us?"

"Thunder would surround us, like a storm. The battlefield would be caught in our spell."

"And the enemy would be obliterated," she said.

"There would be nothing left of them, that I promise," Reinhardt said.

"Then, dance with me, please. I need something to take my mind off of such gloomy memories. I may never get this chance again."

They were surrounded by happy couples. Not simply playing a role for the festival, or there for someone else.

He bowed and gently took her smaller hand within his. And they were among the married dancers. His hand at her back. She knew the steps, and her skirts swirled as she lifted her arm and they danced in tandem of a perfect waltz.

As everything else, Reinhardt was a skilled dancer. It was so easy to lose herself in the music around him. It was a soft, romantic waltz played on stringed instruments.

Each step he matched. He never trod upon her feet or missed a cue. It was so easy to lose herself in the rhythm.

His gloved hand was in hers. Touching him, even through his gloves, was electric. She couldn't tell if it was their magic intermingling, for touching Julius had never quite felt like this.

And this was through gloves.

She leaned in, and in his arms she felt the old joy she thought lost forever.

Maybe it was the spell of the night. All around them danced happy couples. They looked the part. Like lovers do.

"You dance as well as I remember, Reinhardt."

He smiled softly. "Thank you, Lady Ishtar. You are an excellent dancer, with truly peerless steps."

The music moved to another tune. Some dancers left the dance floor for a rest.

"Careful!"

A much smaller figured bumped right into Reinhardt. In a second, Reinhardt moved to shift his back to take the blow, should one come.

Azelle held his hands up, in a sign of surrender.

"Sorry, sorry!"

Azelle pulled back as he saw Reinhardt's expression. It was the same cold glare that the enemy saw in their last moments.

Tailtiu laughed. "Azelle! You're picking fights you won't win."

"I-I'm not picking fights at all," Azelle said.

"Reinhardt won't hurt you, right, Ishtar?"

"Azelle is no danger. He's family," Ishtar said.

"Er, sorry again," Azelle said.

Reinhardt nodded. "Be more careful next time," was all he said.

"He makes Lord Arvis seem like a fluffy kitten by comparison," Azelle said under his breath.

The waltz was broken now. He still held tight to her hand.

"Tired, Lady Ishtar?"

"A bit," she said.

"Still, I wish to keep dancing. May we?"

"Of course. I would be honored," Reinhardt said.

She smiled.

"Even all night?"

"I'll dance with you until your feet hurt."

"And then what?"

"I'll carry you off the dance floor and rub your feet," Reinhardt said.

"Reinhardt, you'll stay by my side right?"

"Until death do us part."

He spoke it like a vow, and with more emotion than he usually belied.

And they danced until the stars came up, until her feet and back ached from the exertion. Not a single time did he falter, even a little.

Eventually, she let out a soft sigh as the music broke off. The dance floor was mostly empty now. Many had left to their own chambers. A wedding night, perhaps?

"I think a break is in order," she said.

Even though the dance had finished, she didn't release his hand just yet. For a moment, he stared down at where their fingers met, but said nothing.

Even though the night was chilly, she adjourned to the balcony. Much of Askr could be seen here, with its curious twisting stone patterns.

A stone bench was there. She rested and looked out at the lighted houses all below the castle.

"Do you think fate can be changed? Or will this forever be just a momentary happiness as they fall to the same fates that befell them at that time?"

"Once, I believed fate held us in its grip. But, now I think in this land, many paths are possible."

"I want to believe that kind of life is possible, too," she said.

Except she trailed off. There was an afterthought, the but, you see which always led to some kind of tragic ending.

She let out a soft sigh, and pulled her body closer. The night was chilly, and he was warm.

"Do you wish for my cloak, Lady Ishtar?"

"If you don't mind," she said.

He stared at her parted lips for a moment.

She'd seen so many shades of this look within others. From happy grooms staring in adoration to their new brides, to their adoring brides staring back at them.

She thought for sure he would kiss her. But he turned away and carefully put distance between them. He removed his cloak and handed it to her. He was careful to look into the distance and not at her.

The walls were still up, it seemed.

Just as it had been when Julius's jealous side came up. How more and more distance had to be put between them, until she was forced to send him away or risk his death.

"Are you quite sure?"

"Yes. It is fine," he said. Though there was a sudden flatness to his voice.

"Perhaps, I should return to my chambers and turn in for the night. I have patrols to do in the morning," he said.

"Are you tired?"

"Not in the least."

"Then stay with me a little longer, please."

Was it selfish that in that moment, she hoped he'd kiss her? And it was a surprise to her, to want Reinhardt to kiss her, to welcome that desire towards her.

Whatever the consequences, some bit of warmth for the night. Warmth with her closest, dearest ally.

Admittedly, her former betrothal had been rather chaste and respectable, but she had kissed Julius in sheer delight a few times. Such as the first time they were truly engaged.

It'd been clumsy, but still such a thrill. She'd giggled afterwards like a child.

But that was as far away as the time before she knew of the child hunts and could simply spend time with Tailtiu, Ishtore and Liza in the gardens.

And back when Julius hardly kissed her or took her hand, for he was far more interested in bloodshed.

He stood up from the bench.

Was this goodnight? A discordant note to the night's end?

No, not now. Not when she finally had him back by her side.

And this, this would change everything in her life. Remake it with a kiss like in fairy tales.

"I want to change my fate," she said softly.

"Do you understand?"

He nodded.

"Within the world we lived, it seemed inescapable, the wheels of fate. We were all caught within it."

"If you could change the past, would you?" Ishtar said.

"Even as I knew it would lead to my downfall, I cannot see myself taking any other path than I did. To do so would be a betrayal to all I loved, and all I held most dear. My sister and I still argue about this, even in Askr," he said.

He smiled faintly, even ruefully.

"I feel the same. Even as I fell onto a path of darkness, I cannot see myself going any other way. I would still try and reach those of Friege, and my family."

And of course Julius.

So it was useless, then. Regret without action. She must move forward.

"But...this is a second chance," she said.

And how would she use her second chance? She looked up at Reinhardt in the moonlight.

She had relied on up daily, until the day when he was no longer by her side.

And tonight, she wanted to know what his lips tasted like, to feel him against her. Before, it'd been only Julius in her mind. But now, something else had begun to grow.

And not simply just this night, either. It'd been there, hidden among the leaves.

If she took a misstep, it would be like a lightning bolt in a forest. Everything burnt to ashes. Still, she rose up and took the steps closer to him.

"Lady Ishtar? Is something the matter?"

She placed her hand upon his chest, at his heart. She felt his heartbeat rise, electric as she leaned in.

He was taller than her by quite a bit. She stepped forward, he stepped back, like a dance. But with his back to the wall, there was nowhere else to go.

When Reinhardt was cornered was when he was most dangerous of all. And yet, here she was.

Despite being the most fearsome fighter, he would never hurt her. Fear had never crossed her mind once in his presence. Being around him was always a comfort, even in the midst of battle.

(Especially in the midst of battle.)

She leaned up and pressed her body against him. He let out a low groan as she softly pressed her lips to his.

The kiss was almost hesitant, like a question she was asking both herself and him. It took mere seconds for his arms to tighten about her, and the kiss became far less soft as he took control of the situation.

He wrapped her tight against him, as close as physically possible. For all his stoicism, Reinhardt could kiss in a way which left her breathless. She gripped to his shirt, simply to hold on as he deepened the kiss.

Reinhardt wasn't clumsy in the least. Unlike awkward first kisses she'd shared with Julius, Reinhardt had experience. He kept her close and kissed her harder than she'd ever known. Her knees nearly buckled from the intensity, but he held her steady.

She broke apart, panting from the sheer intensity. His hands still held her tight. Unlike the kisses before, from her ex-fiance, she felt dizzy with, what? Longing? Desire? Something Reinhardt had awakened in her which had been slumbering under the surface.

Maybe it'd been there a lot longer than she realized.

She pulled back slowly, reluctantly, only to lean in again. One kiss would lead to another as neither could quite pull away. The answer to the question made her heart beat so.

When she finally drew away, the look on his face said far more than words could.

"You love me?" Ishtar said softly.

"With all my entire being."

His voice was choked with emotion as he spoke.

"And not simply as a knight loves his liege?"

"Do knights usually kiss their liege like that?" Reinhardt said wryly.

"I suppose it would depend on the knight."

"Yes. If the answer is Midir," Reinhardt said.

"Midir married his liege. And they are here today. Though resting from dancing," Ishtar said.

He did not admonish her when she did not immediately respond. If anything, there was a sorrow in his dark eyes. As if he expected it.

"Reinhardt, I.... I'm still figuring out how I feel. So much has happened..."

There was so much to unravel. Reinhardt had always been there. It wasn't until she knew the lack of him, and was forced to send him away that she realized just how important he was to her.

Reinhardt was her personal guard, her right hand man and dearest ally, her rock, her safety and partner in magic and tactics. Even among all the Gelpritter, she relied on him the most. Most of all, Reinhardt felt like home. When she had lost all of Friege she had loved, her family, and the ugliness had been stripped bare, he still was there for her.

And to be reunited with him like this was a shard of the world and happiness she had once known.

Even in her sorrow, his company brought her happiness like none other.

"Thank you, Reinhardt. I haven't known much happiness in a long time. Even being summoned to Askr brought me little more than a mountain of regrets, and little way to fix what had happened. But...I was able to meet you again, and fix the wrongs that happened when I dismissed you."

Dressed like this at the bride festival, they could be mistaken for any pair of devoted lovers.

And they'd almost be right. The beginning of something between them.

She entwined her fingers in his.

"We look like we fit in among the brides and grooms. I like that," she said.

"Do you?"

There was something almost....mischievous in his dark eyes.

"I do too."

When she was younger, she'd had a little game. The What If I game.

All about the castle she and Ishtore would go. A little question would be asked, over and over. What if I gave you a cookie? What if we became knights? What if the world was ours?

And so the answers would go, fanciful and light. They'd go laughing in the gardens. The game could go on for hours.

She longed for those simple days sometimes.

"If I gave my heart to you, what would happen? And if I trusted you completely, and took you to be my very own, what would happen?"

"I would treasure your heart above all. I would love, cherish, adore and protect you until my last breath."

Usually the game would go on. Sometimes for hours. But his response was so heartfelt, it caused her pause.

"You make me very happy. But I am still healing in many ways. I think you would be very easy to fall in love with, Reinhardt. However, I am not quite there yet. Be patient with me, please."

"I promise I will endeavor to make it very easy for you."

"I will hold you to that promise."

"I'll wait for my entire lifetime if that's what it takes," he said.

"I think it shall take far less than a lifetime. Far, far less if you kiss me again."

He lifted her chin and kissed her again as the night stretched on. And despite everything that had happened, it felt right to be here against him.

If she could make amends with Reinhardt then perhaps she could change other things about the past through this world of openings.