fic: Plus One (1)
Dec. 31st, 2021 11:58 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
bonnefoisTitle: Plus One
Series: TF2
Character/pairing: Scout/Miss Pauling, Spy/Scout's mother, OCs,
Rating: PG-13
Word count: 2,509
Summary: Scout invites Miss Pauling to a family wedding.
Author's note:
Established relationship. Humor, drama, families.
Pulled from the drafts pile countless times, and one of the earliest fics for this fandom. Circa late 2012, I think. It has nothing to do with any current timeline because it predates a ton of canon. MVM had barely just begun when this was hashed out.
Though there's some vague references to Expiration Date that came in when I was cleaning it up.
For Sarah.
"I know you're busy, but I'd love to have you come," Scout said.
He handed her a little ornate card that was a little crinkled and dirty from being in his pocket. She lifted it up and squinted past the places where the text had bled over.
"You wouldn't be a bridesmaid or anything, you'd just have to fly in for the ceremony. I already got the time off--Ma stormed right in here and demanded I get that day off. I think she even scared ol' Saxton half to death."
She had barely spared more than an hour a day in these past months. Work was ever present, as was the threat of discovery of this thing that they were. They defied labels or names, or at least she thought so. He proudly referred to her as 'his girl.'
But only when they were alone. Which wasn't to say he didn't shamelessly flirt with her in public. She simply ignored him then, as if she'd never kissed him under the awnings, with his hands at her hips, or they'd never buried bodies together in the stars, their laughter and the sound of the shovels the only sound in the night.
"I swiped it from when I was last there. to deliver it right to you, in case they took the mail. So, I'm deliverin'--I'm a pretty great delivery boy, huh?" he chuckled at this and pushed up the bill of his cap.
"The best," she said without looking up. "They don't know about me?"
"Well, you told me to keep my trap shut about us. I told ma I got a girlfriend, but considerin' that she's never seen you, I think they don't believe me."
He shrugged. "Families, what can you do?" He gave her a smile like she'd understand.
Miss Pauling wasn't good on the families front. The Administrator was the closest thing she had. In fact, late night looking through files (the kind of things that would get anyone else put on her to-kill list) revealed her birth certificate had someone named Helen Pauling as her mother.
The Administrator had never shown her much softness or affection. She'd probably be insulted by the term 'mother' being used towards her.
"I know you're busy, but I really want you to meet my family." He rubbed against the back of his neck. He gave her a big crooked grin, the sort of look which always melted the resistance inside her.
Even when it was a bad idea. Especially when it was a bad idea.
She let out a sigh. "I'll think about it."
"Man, whenever my ma said that, it meant 'no, but I'm too tired and hungover to argue'
She pushed her dark hair back. A band of sweat had formed at her forehead. "Tired? Always. Hungover? Not this moment, though probably by tomorrow. I'm
The smile disappeared from his face. "I know. You're always real busy. Anyways just--remember it, okay? And me?"
"All right," she said.
*
When it came down to it, it wasn't logical, and had everything to do with his smile. The same reason she'd taken to this loudmouth, wiry and lean mercenary who had a talent for death and a bad habit of stealing briefcases, just to get her close enough to steal a kiss.
He was wild, untamed in a way which was so utterly the opposite of her lists, her files, her neatly buried bodies hidden in the desert.
It was too complex to explain the myriad layers and actions that it took to get from point A (I have no time ever, except this mythical day off which keeps getting taken away) to point B (multiple days off, visiting a wedding, a tacit admitting of this thing between Scout and her in the open to multiple people. Knowing the Administrator, she'd already figured out the stolen seconds and on occasion, stolen alcohol.
Borrowed, more like.
Had she focused that kind of power into something productive, like a laser pointed at Australia, she could probably rule the world. But then, Miss Pauling was an assistant to her core. She wouldn't even know what she'd do with the world if she had it.
Probably give it to Scout as a birthday gift so his team could finally win the pennant.
His family had moved all the way up to Beacon Hill from Southie. She could only imagine what the south slope rich thought of the rough nouveau rich family. Scout may have been raised in the a project rat in the worst slums of South Boston, but now his mother lived in a brick mansion, just big enough to house his entire family and then some. Colleen had the smallest number of children in her Irish-Catholic family. Scout always laughed at her expressions (shock, awe, grief, terror, all one by one in succession) when he went on about just how many relatives he had and how yes, one woman had really had thirteen children.
And he'd all sum it up with a shrug and a smile and say Catholic family, whatdya expect?
She raised her arm to knock on the large white door, but found the door partly ajar. From inside, she could hear many voices, all of them loud enough and with a thick enough accent that she had no question that they were related to Scout.
Miss Pauling heard a snicker from the other side of the door. She opened it a crack, but none of the family noticed, given that they had all banded together to pick on their youngest family member.
"For the last time, I told you, I got a girl!"
One of his brothers pulled Scout into an chokehold. "Suuuure you do, Liam. Which girl you talkin' about, blow up or pin up?"
"Be nice, Michael," his mother said.
"Aww, come on, ma," Michael said.
"Just because you're thirty-three don't mean I ain't your ma," she said. Michael released his chokehold and Scout's mother began to smooth out Scout's hair from where his brothers had mussed it up.
"Honey, we're gonna love you anyways no matter what unwashed heathen you bring home," she said. She pinched his cheek.
"Speak for yourself, ma."
"I'm speakin' for all of you. Don't make me come over there. Just think, we could have a doctor in the family. Now, wouldn't that be nice? He's pretty handsome, too--"
Spy materialized beside her, looking not exactly pleased. "Ma amour?"
"Now don't be like that, lookin' ain't ever hurt no one," she said.
Miss Pauling had to stifle her laughter at Scout's pained expression.
Doctor? Did she mean Medic? Because he was both taken and infinitely uninterested in anyone of her gender. Though, as Colleen had said, looking was free, she supposed.
Scout let out a cry of frustration. "Ma, don't tell me you got another guy! We already have to deal with this freak hangin' around! I don't need another guy at work goin' on about how great it was visitin' my ma!"
"Speak for yourself. You're the one wearing pants that belong in a retirement community," Spy said.
"Hell, you'd know, considerin' just what an oldy old you are! Did I mention how frickin' old you are? L-Like, ancient."
"Now, now, boys, be nice. Don't make me turn you over my knee," she said to Spy, with a much more sultry tone.
"I look forward to it, ma amour." He lifted her hand and kissed the back in an exaggerated formal show of affection.
Scout made a strangled noise in the back of his throat.
"Ma! What the hell!"
"Oh, you're an adult. Don't tell me I raised a little prude," Colleen said.
"What do you expect from a virgin?" Spy said.
"I'm not a virgin! I got a girl and she's comin'!"
"Probably the only time she's ever said those words," Spy said.
"Make up your friggin' mind! First I'm a virgin and now I struck out at sex? That don't even make sense!"
"It makes all the sense in the world," Spy said. "One day you'll understand."
Miss Pauling opened the door all the way and stepped in. She cleared her throat.
"I've been knocking at the door, but it seems no one could hear with all this commotion..."
Scout turned his attention from the show of affection straight to her. He brightened instantly, bursting into a big grin.
"Babe, you came!"
One by one, the entire Dempsey family turned her way. For several seconds, the room was entirely quiet. A feat which given the family, took quite the event to achieve.
"Well, I'll be damned. She exists. Here I thought we'd see a vision of the Holy Mother before we saw Liam with a girlfriend," Michael said.
"Mmmmhmm. Pay up, sweetie," Colleen said.
Each brother reached into his pocket for his wallet. Several other men, who she assumed were other family members, perhaps cousins, nephews and uncles. Even Spy pulled out his wallet.
"Ma?" Scout said.
She shrugged with a grin. "I gotta get my spendin' money somehow. See, I told you I believed in you, honey!"
Michael was over a head taller than Scout. He leaned on Scout's head, pushing him down as Scout sputtered and tried to push him off.
"Looks like you're just the right size for Runt, here," he said, messing up Scout's hair again.
"Hey--That is friggin' uncalled for! You don't insult my girl--"
"It's fine. My height is often to my advantage. Besides, he really likes getting things off the top shelves for me," Miss Pauling said.
And opening jars. Sure, she could do it herself, but Scout always took such pride in opening pickle jars, like he'd vanquished some dragon for her.
"Michael, stop bein' a heathen for two seconds," Colleen said.
Colleen gave her a critical once over. "Wait a minute, I remember you. You're that assistant girl who came and got Liam out of jail and got him that job. Miss Pearling, right?"
"Pauling," she said.
"Pauling, huh. You got a first name, or is it classified?"
"When in doubt, assume that everything about that girl is classified," Spy said.
"Hmm, a woman of mystery, huh? I guess he got my tastes," Colleen said.
"I'm Colleen, these are my boys. You already know Liam, there's Michael, Finny, named after my brother that died on the docksr--"
She pointed to a particularly tall and muscular towheaded boy in the back with a large scar across his face. "Jonathon, Connor--" These three were no less tall and scarred, though with darker hair like their mother. They had particularly angular features, and the middle had a very large cleft chin with a scar down the side of his jaw.
"David, Ethan and Ewan, the twins--"
Barrel-chested with extraordinarily large hands, she was dwarfed by comparison to her boys. No wonder Scout fit right in with the mercenary crowd.
"Ahem, nice to meet all of you." Miss Pauling said.
"Oh, that's nothin'. With Michael gettin' married, we're gonna have the whole family around."
"Good thing Liam got us this big-ass house, or we'd be up shit's creek now. Cramped like sardines. Probably have to have the weddin' down at the park."
I've blackmailed members of congress and killed far more intimidating people, she reminded herself.
Still, that many people in one place was a little bit...overwhelming. She mentally made a note to get some kind of notebook so she could start writing down names.
*
She hadn't seen what had caused it, but two of Scout's older brother's had begun to quarrel. No surprise; by what Scout said, they all seemed in a perpetual state of fighting, only united in their utter adoration of Colleen and ganging up on the so-called runt of the litter.
If anything, a few minutes around Scout's family really helped her understand Scout more. She'd theorized that he'd gone from one set of rowdy, bustling men to another, and immediately (perhaps subconsciously?) figured every single mercenary there to be his brothers, or at least, some ersatz form.
Not all of them seemed to feel the same about Scout, however, and treated him as a nuisance at best.
A table (thankfully empty) that had been set up was upended as their fight became physical.
"Hey! Stop that, you heathens!"
She reached into her purse and pulled out her derringer, and fired it in the air. Someone in the crowd screamed, and several ducked. The boys immediately stopped fighting.
"You in the blue shirt, you go over there and bring in the drinks. Tall guy, make yourself useful and bring refreshments. Don't make me fire again. I'm a good shot."
"Now."
Scout just smiled and smiled so much that his mouth had to hurt. Then again, she had that thought a lot. Doesn't your jaw hurt after that much talking? After using your tongue that much for--ahem, certain unspecified private romantic reasons?
And the answer was always no.
"What a firecracker," Colleen said.
"See, I told you!"
"More a ballbuster," Michael remarked.
"That too," Scout said. He couldn't stop grinning.
"A gun, I hadn't thought about that. Might just work. Or I could get the hose and spray ya all down the next time you get to fightin'," Colleen said.
"Ma, don't get ideas from Liam's ballbustin' girlfriend," Michael said.
"Say what you will about her methods, but she gets shit done," Colleen said.
Scout broke out laughing. "You got no idea."
She let that one slide. Yes, technically, it was getting rather close to revealing too much, but she'd taken that chance when it she came here. This whole trip was one big risk after another. But when she saw his big smile, it all became worth it.
Every body she'd had to bury.
"You said there was enough room here? Or do I need to check into a hotel?"
With this much chaos, checking into a hotel seemed the option that would end with her actually getting any sleep.
"Right, lemme show you were you belong," Scout said.
"Whadya know, it's right by me!"
She gave him an affectionate eye roll. He grabbed for her suitcase before she could lift it up. He was also so desperate to prove himself in her eyes. Pickle jars and books carried, half a bag of bodies lifted up, even though she'd been carrying all that weight for years.
Series: TF2
Character/pairing: Scout/Miss Pauling, Spy/Scout's mother, OCs,
Rating: PG-13
Word count: 2,509
Summary: Scout invites Miss Pauling to a family wedding.
Author's note:
Established relationship. Humor, drama, families.
Pulled from the drafts pile countless times, and one of the earliest fics for this fandom. Circa late 2012, I think. It has nothing to do with any current timeline because it predates a ton of canon. MVM had barely just begun when this was hashed out.
Though there's some vague references to Expiration Date that came in when I was cleaning it up.
For Sarah.
"I know you're busy, but I'd love to have you come," Scout said.
He handed her a little ornate card that was a little crinkled and dirty from being in his pocket. She lifted it up and squinted past the places where the text had bled over.
"You wouldn't be a bridesmaid or anything, you'd just have to fly in for the ceremony. I already got the time off--Ma stormed right in here and demanded I get that day off. I think she even scared ol' Saxton half to death."
She had barely spared more than an hour a day in these past months. Work was ever present, as was the threat of discovery of this thing that they were. They defied labels or names, or at least she thought so. He proudly referred to her as 'his girl.'
But only when they were alone. Which wasn't to say he didn't shamelessly flirt with her in public. She simply ignored him then, as if she'd never kissed him under the awnings, with his hands at her hips, or they'd never buried bodies together in the stars, their laughter and the sound of the shovels the only sound in the night.
"I swiped it from when I was last there. to deliver it right to you, in case they took the mail. So, I'm deliverin'--I'm a pretty great delivery boy, huh?" he chuckled at this and pushed up the bill of his cap.
"The best," she said without looking up. "They don't know about me?"
"Well, you told me to keep my trap shut about us. I told ma I got a girlfriend, but considerin' that she's never seen you, I think they don't believe me."
He shrugged. "Families, what can you do?" He gave her a smile like she'd understand.
Miss Pauling wasn't good on the families front. The Administrator was the closest thing she had. In fact, late night looking through files (the kind of things that would get anyone else put on her to-kill list) revealed her birth certificate had someone named Helen Pauling as her mother.
The Administrator had never shown her much softness or affection. She'd probably be insulted by the term 'mother' being used towards her.
"I know you're busy, but I really want you to meet my family." He rubbed against the back of his neck. He gave her a big crooked grin, the sort of look which always melted the resistance inside her.
Even when it was a bad idea. Especially when it was a bad idea.
She let out a sigh. "I'll think about it."
"Man, whenever my ma said that, it meant 'no, but I'm too tired and hungover to argue'
She pushed her dark hair back. A band of sweat had formed at her forehead. "Tired? Always. Hungover? Not this moment, though probably by tomorrow. I'm
The smile disappeared from his face. "I know. You're always real busy. Anyways just--remember it, okay? And me?"
"All right," she said.
*
When it came down to it, it wasn't logical, and had everything to do with his smile. The same reason she'd taken to this loudmouth, wiry and lean mercenary who had a talent for death and a bad habit of stealing briefcases, just to get her close enough to steal a kiss.
He was wild, untamed in a way which was so utterly the opposite of her lists, her files, her neatly buried bodies hidden in the desert.
It was too complex to explain the myriad layers and actions that it took to get from point A (I have no time ever, except this mythical day off which keeps getting taken away) to point B (multiple days off, visiting a wedding, a tacit admitting of this thing between Scout and her in the open to multiple people. Knowing the Administrator, she'd already figured out the stolen seconds and on occasion, stolen alcohol.
Borrowed, more like.
Had she focused that kind of power into something productive, like a laser pointed at Australia, she could probably rule the world. But then, Miss Pauling was an assistant to her core. She wouldn't even know what she'd do with the world if she had it.
Probably give it to Scout as a birthday gift so his team could finally win the pennant.
His family had moved all the way up to Beacon Hill from Southie. She could only imagine what the south slope rich thought of the rough nouveau rich family. Scout may have been raised in the a project rat in the worst slums of South Boston, but now his mother lived in a brick mansion, just big enough to house his entire family and then some. Colleen had the smallest number of children in her Irish-Catholic family. Scout always laughed at her expressions (shock, awe, grief, terror, all one by one in succession) when he went on about just how many relatives he had and how yes, one woman had really had thirteen children.
And he'd all sum it up with a shrug and a smile and say Catholic family, whatdya expect?
She raised her arm to knock on the large white door, but found the door partly ajar. From inside, she could hear many voices, all of them loud enough and with a thick enough accent that she had no question that they were related to Scout.
Miss Pauling heard a snicker from the other side of the door. She opened it a crack, but none of the family noticed, given that they had all banded together to pick on their youngest family member.
"For the last time, I told you, I got a girl!"
One of his brothers pulled Scout into an chokehold. "Suuuure you do, Liam. Which girl you talkin' about, blow up or pin up?"
"Be nice, Michael," his mother said.
"Aww, come on, ma," Michael said.
"Just because you're thirty-three don't mean I ain't your ma," she said. Michael released his chokehold and Scout's mother began to smooth out Scout's hair from where his brothers had mussed it up.
"Honey, we're gonna love you anyways no matter what unwashed heathen you bring home," she said. She pinched his cheek.
"Speak for yourself, ma."
"I'm speakin' for all of you. Don't make me come over there. Just think, we could have a doctor in the family. Now, wouldn't that be nice? He's pretty handsome, too--"
Spy materialized beside her, looking not exactly pleased. "Ma amour?"
"Now don't be like that, lookin' ain't ever hurt no one," she said.
Miss Pauling had to stifle her laughter at Scout's pained expression.
Doctor? Did she mean Medic? Because he was both taken and infinitely uninterested in anyone of her gender. Though, as Colleen had said, looking was free, she supposed.
Scout let out a cry of frustration. "Ma, don't tell me you got another guy! We already have to deal with this freak hangin' around! I don't need another guy at work goin' on about how great it was visitin' my ma!"
"Speak for yourself. You're the one wearing pants that belong in a retirement community," Spy said.
"Hell, you'd know, considerin' just what an oldy old you are! Did I mention how frickin' old you are? L-Like, ancient."
"Now, now, boys, be nice. Don't make me turn you over my knee," she said to Spy, with a much more sultry tone.
"I look forward to it, ma amour." He lifted her hand and kissed the back in an exaggerated formal show of affection.
Scout made a strangled noise in the back of his throat.
"Ma! What the hell!"
"Oh, you're an adult. Don't tell me I raised a little prude," Colleen said.
"What do you expect from a virgin?" Spy said.
"I'm not a virgin! I got a girl and she's comin'!"
"Probably the only time she's ever said those words," Spy said.
"Make up your friggin' mind! First I'm a virgin and now I struck out at sex? That don't even make sense!"
"It makes all the sense in the world," Spy said. "One day you'll understand."
Miss Pauling opened the door all the way and stepped in. She cleared her throat.
"I've been knocking at the door, but it seems no one could hear with all this commotion..."
Scout turned his attention from the show of affection straight to her. He brightened instantly, bursting into a big grin.
"Babe, you came!"
One by one, the entire Dempsey family turned her way. For several seconds, the room was entirely quiet. A feat which given the family, took quite the event to achieve.
"Well, I'll be damned. She exists. Here I thought we'd see a vision of the Holy Mother before we saw Liam with a girlfriend," Michael said.
"Mmmmhmm. Pay up, sweetie," Colleen said.
Each brother reached into his pocket for his wallet. Several other men, who she assumed were other family members, perhaps cousins, nephews and uncles. Even Spy pulled out his wallet.
"Ma?" Scout said.
She shrugged with a grin. "I gotta get my spendin' money somehow. See, I told you I believed in you, honey!"
Michael was over a head taller than Scout. He leaned on Scout's head, pushing him down as Scout sputtered and tried to push him off.
"Looks like you're just the right size for Runt, here," he said, messing up Scout's hair again.
"Hey--That is friggin' uncalled for! You don't insult my girl--"
"It's fine. My height is often to my advantage. Besides, he really likes getting things off the top shelves for me," Miss Pauling said.
And opening jars. Sure, she could do it herself, but Scout always took such pride in opening pickle jars, like he'd vanquished some dragon for her.
"Michael, stop bein' a heathen for two seconds," Colleen said.
Colleen gave her a critical once over. "Wait a minute, I remember you. You're that assistant girl who came and got Liam out of jail and got him that job. Miss Pearling, right?"
"Pauling," she said.
"Pauling, huh. You got a first name, or is it classified?"
"When in doubt, assume that everything about that girl is classified," Spy said.
"Hmm, a woman of mystery, huh? I guess he got my tastes," Colleen said.
"I'm Colleen, these are my boys. You already know Liam, there's Michael, Finny, named after my brother that died on the docksr--"
She pointed to a particularly tall and muscular towheaded boy in the back with a large scar across his face. "Jonathon, Connor--" These three were no less tall and scarred, though with darker hair like their mother. They had particularly angular features, and the middle had a very large cleft chin with a scar down the side of his jaw.
"David, Ethan and Ewan, the twins--"
Barrel-chested with extraordinarily large hands, she was dwarfed by comparison to her boys. No wonder Scout fit right in with the mercenary crowd.
"Ahem, nice to meet all of you." Miss Pauling said.
"Oh, that's nothin'. With Michael gettin' married, we're gonna have the whole family around."
"Good thing Liam got us this big-ass house, or we'd be up shit's creek now. Cramped like sardines. Probably have to have the weddin' down at the park."
I've blackmailed members of congress and killed far more intimidating people, she reminded herself.
Still, that many people in one place was a little bit...overwhelming. She mentally made a note to get some kind of notebook so she could start writing down names.
*
She hadn't seen what had caused it, but two of Scout's older brother's had begun to quarrel. No surprise; by what Scout said, they all seemed in a perpetual state of fighting, only united in their utter adoration of Colleen and ganging up on the so-called runt of the litter.
If anything, a few minutes around Scout's family really helped her understand Scout more. She'd theorized that he'd gone from one set of rowdy, bustling men to another, and immediately (perhaps subconsciously?) figured every single mercenary there to be his brothers, or at least, some ersatz form.
Not all of them seemed to feel the same about Scout, however, and treated him as a nuisance at best.
A table (thankfully empty) that had been set up was upended as their fight became physical.
"Hey! Stop that, you heathens!"
She reached into her purse and pulled out her derringer, and fired it in the air. Someone in the crowd screamed, and several ducked. The boys immediately stopped fighting.
"You in the blue shirt, you go over there and bring in the drinks. Tall guy, make yourself useful and bring refreshments. Don't make me fire again. I'm a good shot."
"Now."
Scout just smiled and smiled so much that his mouth had to hurt. Then again, she had that thought a lot. Doesn't your jaw hurt after that much talking? After using your tongue that much for--ahem, certain unspecified private romantic reasons?
And the answer was always no.
"What a firecracker," Colleen said.
"See, I told you!"
"More a ballbuster," Michael remarked.
"That too," Scout said. He couldn't stop grinning.
"A gun, I hadn't thought about that. Might just work. Or I could get the hose and spray ya all down the next time you get to fightin'," Colleen said.
"Ma, don't get ideas from Liam's ballbustin' girlfriend," Michael said.
"Say what you will about her methods, but she gets shit done," Colleen said.
Scout broke out laughing. "You got no idea."
She let that one slide. Yes, technically, it was getting rather close to revealing too much, but she'd taken that chance when it she came here. This whole trip was one big risk after another. But when she saw his big smile, it all became worth it.
Every body she'd had to bury.
"You said there was enough room here? Or do I need to check into a hotel?"
With this much chaos, checking into a hotel seemed the option that would end with her actually getting any sleep.
"Right, lemme show you were you belong," Scout said.
"Whadya know, it's right by me!"
She gave him an affectionate eye roll. He grabbed for her suitcase before she could lift it up. He was also so desperate to prove himself in her eyes. Pickle jars and books carried, half a bag of bodies lifted up, even though she'd been carrying all that weight for years.
