fic: You Are The Sun I Orbit
Mar. 17th, 2019 09:12 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
bonnefoisTitle: You Are The Sun I Orbit
Series: Voltron: Legendary Defenders
Character/Pairing: Allura/Lance
Rating: PG-13
Summary: s8 spoilers:
When Allura said she was always with him, it wasn't a lie. or Lance never fully gives up on searching for Allura, and when Allura becomes the universe, Lance dates the universe.
Word count: 4k
Author's note:
When I told my GF about the ending of VLD, she said "why would that get in the way of them being together? Greek gods date mortals all the time. He can date the universe."
Also, as of the afterbuzz interview, the EPs planned on adding a line where Lance said "Allura is out there somewhere and I'm going to find her" and would go back and put it in if they could.
And that Nebula!Allura means that Allura could come back in a future spin off or sequel.
And that Lance's farmer ending was actually him trying to revive the earth because the war was extremely hard--sort of like how Allura revived that tree on their date.
And this is my attempt to make sense and fix the ending which I uhm, did not enjoy or support. (Or wherein Lance temporarily uses gardening to cope, but eventually goes back to piloting and finding Allura.)
Here you go, Sarah. Fix-it fic for the finale.
As sunset turned to night, the fountain was the only sound in left in Allura square. Far off was the glow of streetlights and lights slowly turning off, one by one. In his arms was a big bouquet Juniberry flowers he had grown. Some were sent back home to his family, and others would be taken to the nearby international market; a florist always gave him enough that he never had to worry about funds.
Lance laid the delicate purple Juniberry flowers down in front of the statue that had been made of Allura. He always saved the best for her.
His family and Hunk often brought meals, and their own worries. There wasn't a day his mother didn't call.
One day, mama he always promised her. One day I'll come back to the beaches of Cuba.
The rest of the Paladins didn't quite understand this, (Pidge's exact words had been you're going to start a farm?) but Lance found a certain happiness in watching life return to the scorched earth.
It was what Allura would've wanted. Not the part where he was caught up in grief, unable to move on or find a way back to her, but the part where she rebuilt the earth, and the universe with her own two hands, her own massive power, with Lance by her side.
This was just the closest he could get to that dream right now.
(She didn't even have a grave. And in truth, Lance couldn't bring himself to buy her one. That would mean she was truly gone forever. And Lance couldn't accept that. Not now, not ever.)
Moonlight shone over the fountain behind the stone flairs of her skirt. Not even the lights of the city drowned it out tonight.
"I miss you, Allura," Lance said. His voice broke. "Every single second, every single minute, every single day--Vargas or Deca-Phoebe... I just...miss you. That's all. I'd do anything to bring you back. Fight any monster the world could throw at me. Go back in time and find a way to fix it in any way I could that didn't leave you away from us...from me."
Every star he saw in the sky was her. She was the ground he laid upon, the gentle touch of the breeze. Everything reminded her. The growing trees, the way her palm had brought back life into the earth.
He'd laminated the picture to save it as long as physically possible.
That first kiss. The way she had bent in towards him before the shining tree. The electric feel of her magic, her touch, her lips.
Everything.
The Altean marks on his face burned with energy. Billions of stars filled the sky above him. As he closed his eyes, he could feel the heat. The pure energy of a supernova heartbeat. If he could reach out to a shooting star, he'd wish on every one. And it would just be her name, like a hoarse whisper, a breath.
Dark gold warmth enveloped him. He knew it was a dream, and yet he reached out to the star woman with the vastness of space for skin, stars in her hair, like the crown she'd so freely given up.
There was a bright glow--stars before his eyes--The flowers disappeared.
Lance stared up at the stars he'd once flown through. He could've sworn he'd heard her voice, echoing through his mind.
*
For days, Lance tried to brush it off as lack of sleep. He spent most days tossing and turning, the memories too near to escape.
But he couldn't push aside the incredibly powerful jolt of energy which somehow reminded him of her as the marks on his face glowed blue.
Every single night, Lance kept leaving them at her statue. And every time, they disappeared, like burnt offerings.
And Lance kept coming with gifts, like a foregone hope, like a promise to never give up on her, and never stop searching. Even if he didn't even know where to begin right now, he knew one thing for certain deep inside: Allura was far across the universe, but she wasn't gone.
But he didn't know how to reach her yet, or where even to start. The Lions were gone. A simple hovercar wouldn't get him that far.
Still, through it all, Lance knew he'd find a way.
*
Movements later, something rocketing across the sky above him made his whole house shudder. Lance tossed the blanket aside, and ran outside barefoot. Blue hovered over the field of Juniberry flowers, shining with power and with such force that the stems bent beneath the shockwaves of wind. His marks burned with power as the Lion neared.
Blue landed before him, and let out a roar. Lance began to run, and almost tripped face-first into flowers. Finally, he touched his old Lion--and old friend, and felt the same rush of quintessence.
"Blue! It's been a long time since I saw you." He chuckled at the rhyme.
He reached up to stroke the giant Lion's head. He scratched Blue underneath the chin, like a house cat. The jaw instantly opened, like a smile.
Lance got into his Lion without even changing out of his pajamas.
He sat at that cockpit, and everything came back to him. Even though he'd flown little more than a small hovercar to deliver flowers to the intergalactic florist, everything came back like muscle memory.
"Like they always said: once you learn how to fly a robot lion from space, you never forget. Though 'it's just like flying a robot lion from space' doesn't really have a ring to it..."
Lance chuckled to himself.
(If Pidge were there, she could've said it's a hovercycle, Lance. Everyone knows and then pushed up her glasses and given him a dirty look.)
He felt more alive than he had for a long time. He promised Allura that he'd go across the universe for her. He intended to keep that promise. And he finally knew how it would happen.
Just the same way he'd met her the first time: through his Lion.
The trees and oceans became more and more distant until they were smears of cyan and green, a painted sphere. Time lost all meaning in space. As they passed planet after planet, Lance could only think that he didn't have enough supplies, and the Juniberries would wilt without him. But just that taste of space again had ignited a feeling of memory. Even with no one to hear them, Lance couldn't stop telling jokes. Hope grew in him, with little leaves rising up through the snow.
*
When Lance returned , he'd lost all track of time. He could've been gone Phobes or Movements, or even almost a Deca-Phobe--though he hoped it wasn't the latter. His mother would be awful worried at the lack of any news.
It wasn't home, not quite. It wasn't the beaches of Cuba, but it was close to Allura--or whatever he had left or her.
(For now, he added on. He refused to ever say goodbye to her for good.)
"Thanks for coming back for me, Blue."
Blue had been both his and hers. He smiled at the remember. His very own Mrs. Blue Lion.
"Go back and keep looking for her. Make sure she's safe out there, on whatever planet she landed in. But come back for me, okay? Once I get enough food ready, we'll go again. And no matter how many times it takes, we're going to find Allura together."
Blue let out a roar, and rocketed into the sky.
He watched Blue disappear further and further, until there was nothing but memories of piloting through the stars, by the side of his closest friends, one of who was the
*
A voice called out as Lance loaded his fresh cut flowers out for the florist into the hovercar.
"Hey, Lance!"
The sun beat down on Lance's brown skin. He tossed aside the trowel, and brushed his hands on his jeans. They'd ripped clean through the knee in one side. With a smile, Lance brushed the pollen out from his dark hair, and gave Hunk a wave.
"You're almost as hard to get ahold of as Keith, and he's reaching spy levels of trying to find. Who knew that the Blade of Marmoa's next mission would be planning Ezor and Zethrid's wedding?"
Lance smiled. "Keith, a wedding planner? Somehow, I can't see it."
"No, I'm the one doing that. Technically I guess that makes me an honorary Blade of Marmoa? If they had their way, there'd be streamers made of laser guns, and Zethrid would wear the same war uniform, except this time, she'd be sleeveless. I catered Shiro's, too. I'd say it went pretty well."
"I remember that. You made an amazing cake," Lance said.
His memory went back to Shiro's wedding. It'd been good to see Shiro smiling again, no longer carrying such a heavy burden. Except, like so many moments, he wished Allura had been there. She and Shiro had been especially close of all of the Paladins. In every happy picture, there was a hole where she should've been.
"Yeah--" Hunk broke off. "Listen--Are you okay, buddy? I baked a pie just for you. Pidge said you hadn't been responding to messages. We're all really worried. Or at least I think we are. Lone Wolf Keith over there hasn't even gotten any messages in Movements."
Hunk smiled--he was always smiling for them, even when things got dire. He held them up, and kept the team together when no one else could. He had a fresh white apron on, like he'd just come out from the kitchen, and it was a contrast to his dark skin. His dark hair was pulled back with a headband that looked like he'd borrowed it from Pidge, yet there was just a slight dusting of white flour on his striped yellow shirt, and on the edges of his collar. Nobody did diplomacy or food like Hunk, and somehow he meshed them together. One day, his pies were going to grant the world an even deeper peace than Voltron ever could. Lance was sure of that.
His expression grew concerned as he continued. "I know it's been...difficult."
He couldn't say the words, but Lance was glad he didn't. Because Lance wouldn't allow himself to give up on her. Even if grief was a constant, even if he'd missed her every second since she gone.
"I'm better than I've been in a long time," Lance said.
Hunk's expression brightened into a smile. "Oh, that farming thing finally panning out?"
Lance looked up, to the skies he'd once flown through, an ace pilot and sharpshooter--at least when he told it. "No. Blue came back."
"Again? I'm glad to hear it. I wish Yellow would come to visit, but I bet Yellow's off enjoying that space food."
"Allura is out there somewhere, and I'm going to find her."
"Lance, buddy..."
Hunk put his strong hand on Lance's shoulder. He'd been the one to force Lance's hand, and prompt that one beautiful date. Now he was the one who showed up with he most amazing food. Meat pies and puddings and casseroles in small containers, like it was a wedding or a wake.
Hunk let out a sigh, and finally smiled. But there was sadness in his eyes. "Look, I'll support you. You need food? I'll set you up with the best imaginable. You'll be eating like royalty while you're up there. I'll call Pidge and get her to upgrade your tech like you wouldn't believe."
"Thanks, Hunk."
"Just... promise you'll come back. I don't want to lose anybody else. If you start running low on food, come back. Don't take that risk. I'll make a whole feast, and invite the rest of the Paladins."
Lance gave Hunk a cocky smile, the first in a long time, since Allura had walked into nothingness. "I'll come back when I find her."
Hunk pulled him into a hug, and cuffed him on the back. "That's the Lance we all know and love. We thought we were losing you."
Lance closed his eyes. "I just needed some time to...deal, you know? I always knew I would look for her. I just didn't know where to start."
"If anyone can find her, it's you," Hunk said.
*
He waited until winter to start his travel again, when the Juniberries were under masses of snow, and he had gathered enough food to last for weeks, even months alone in space.
Until he found her.
Stepping into his old Paladin suit was like stepping back in time. Already he felt lighter, warmer inside. In these past few weeks, he'd cracked more jokes than he had in the entire year of raising Juniberries.
And he'd only get stronger as he went farther into space. Now that he knew she was out there, Lance was never going to fall back into that overwhelming grief again.
*
Lance slept and woke until he couldn't tell what hour or week it was any longer. If he'd been Pidge, he would've made some elaborate computer program to track the food stores and how long he'd been out there.
But he wasn't Pidge. So he flew Blue full force towards the edges of the universe, full force into the unknown.
(Hunk's last words kept with him. He stopped for supplies often, even when it meant all he had to eat was green space goo.)
In all likelihood, Allura wouldn't be in any of the known planets. If she'd shown up then, there would've been instant celebrations across every single planet that the woman who saved the entire universe was back. Because from the moment they returned, Lance forced himself out of the weight of grief to let everyone know what she'd done for them. Lance had been a driving force in making that statue (though not the location. He would've put it in Cuba, where he would've taken Allura on the second date.)
But Lance checked anyways. Because he was going to look over every single spec of existence in this entire universe, if that was what it took.
He'd mapped out stars and planets. Sometimes, he stopped on grateful former allies, who had already turned the story of Voltron into a myth. Other times, the planets were cold, and barren.
"This planet isn't listed on the coordinates. I'll call it Planet Allura."
To be fair, he'd also named three other unknown, uninhabited planets Allura. At this rate he'd have to work out a system of numbers, until all the unknown stars and galaxies at the edge of universe would be a solid wall of Allura to infinity.
Maybe he'd have to vary them up. Alluralandia, Alluraville, Alluralands.
*
The other Lions all floated around a huge, unknown nebula, deep in the reaches of space. He'd call this one Allura, too. One day when he saw her again, he'd let her know that in his search, he'd named a big chunk of the galaxy for her. And he'd get the maps of the solar system and connect the dots.
Allura was what held the universe together. And Lance would never let anyone ever forget what she gave up for them.
The nebula moved. Lance clutched deeper to Blue's controls. Was it like the space angler which had almost tuned them against each other in an effort to catch them?
But as the marks on his face glowed, he recognized that feeling. Like the brush of her fingers against his cheeks for that last time.
But this time, it wasn't goodbye.
Lance all but bolted for the door. All this time he'd imagined her falling to a planet like a shooting star. All the time, he was sailing through the space to find her, when she was space.
She was the entire galaxy in human form before him. He expected it to be a dream, but he kept not waking, and not waking. Lance had never been so grateful for this.
He left Blue, and floated through the dark vastness. The old saying went In space, no one could hear you scream. She didn't have the pink paladin uniform, just the entirety of the blackness of the universe that folded out like a dress over her.
She was starlight and wore a crown of asteroids, her dark skin was the entirety of space, of every reality that had ever been and would ever be. She held a small planet in her hand, newly made, and placed it among the others.
She'd been busy. Of course when Allura became this kind of goddess, she wouldn't just nap and hang around. No, she'd created new worlds to replace everything the Galra had taken from them all. Was this a new Altea, she had formed from nothingness, or was it other worlds for all the displaced refugees who had lost their planets?
"Allura...you're beautiful," Lance said softly.
She turned around. The planet was set in place, with so much foliage that it looked mostly green.
Lance...it's been so long...
She reached out, and enclosed him in the kind of warmth and power that he'd longed for. Lance had always admired her strength, but now she'd gotten so much stronger. She could create worlds with the brush of her fingers. If the Galra invasion had come now, she would've destroyed every single ship in the time it'd take someone to blink.
And it was really hot.
"You know, I always knew you were a goddess. I just didn't know it would ever be so literal."
Her laughter was the most beautiful sound he'd ever heard.
I've missed you so much, Lance...Even though I was watching all along. I couldn't comfort you. I felt your pain so deeply. And yet, I couldn't even tell you that I still existed.
Her voice filled his mind. He was so glad in that moment that she could hear him. That she'd heard him through all those miles.
I thought...you would surely move on. I had resigned myself to it, that this was my sacrifice. Perhaps we would not even be together in the afterlife. You'd go on to be with your wife or husband. But you never did.
"When I said that I loved you, I meant it. There's no one else for me, Allura."
His mother had let him grieve at first, but as a few years passed, she began to gently urge him to go to dances, to go back to the beaches and back to his old ways. The rest of the former Paladins had also nudged him towards something other than waiting for her, and helping revive the planet as Allura would have done.
"I've been telling everyone about you. About what you sacrificed for them. There wasn't a day that went by that I told people of how strong, and smart and brave you were...and are. You gave up everything for us. Your planet, your castle, your crown and even yourself. I just wish I could give even half back to you that you gave to us. To let you know how much you mean to me." His voice cracked at this.
The nebula closed around him. Her lips against his was a supernova. While universes were created between them, in the space between his fingers and hers. When she drew back, he felt as revived as the time she'd flown through space to use her alchemy powers and save him from the brink of death.
Lance's back, baby, he thought.
"Allura, everyone's waiting for you. The other Paladins totally want to see you again, and there's so many kids out there who I told your story to. I wouldn't let anyone forget for a moment what you gave up. Let's go home."
Lance, I won't be the same. Things have changed... I can speak with you because I left those marks on you, but I'm not just an Altean princess anymore.
"It doesn't matter that you're basically a big gorgeous space goddess. You're still Allura and I love you no matter what you become. Also did I mention super hot gorgeous space goddess?"
Lance grinned cockily. "In fact... everyone's going to be jealous of me for dating an amazing lady. Just like they should be."
She laughed. Lance...in the end, you still kept that spark. Even through such pain. And that's why I love you.
"The only reason? I guess I need to work harder to impress you with my massive piloting and sharpshooting skills. I'm getting rusty with all those Juniberries I've been growing."
She laughed again, and he felt full of warmth and light. Thank you for those. They made me happy when I felt so lonely. Lance, I love everything about you. Even your bad jokes.
"Good, because I've got plenty to tell you."
Oh, joy.
"Listen, Allura. I'm sure you can do it. You always could. You saved me, you saved Shiro from Black's consciousness. You always just know how to...do things with your alchemy. I believe in you. I know you know how to come back to us...and to me."
The nebula shape became smaller and smaller, until she was around the same height as him. An immortal goddess of the stars shrunk down to something shaped like the lady he once knew. She was different. More powerful, more beautiful as she glowed with the power of a billion realities. He'd really have to up his game to keep up with her.
Either way, she was still Allura, and that was all that mattered.
She reached out and took his hand (because she always knew what she wanted, and wasn't afraid to take it) and touching her felt like gripping primordial energy, like touching the sun and never melting. Just file it away on one of those little things. My incredible space princess girlfriend turned into a space goddess and now just touching her feels like I'm feeling an entire universe being created. Just those little things I'll have to get used to.
By the time they returned, it'd be spring again, and the Juniberries would be in bloom. He'd finally be able to take her to the Cuban beaches for that Garlic knot, and to see the rebuilding of the earth, and every other planet she hadn't reached yet with her grace.
They could travel the entire universe, every reality together, and then go back in time to meet his family. He smiled back at her. Hand in hand, they headed back towards their Lion.
Series: Voltron: Legendary Defenders
Character/Pairing: Allura/Lance
Rating: PG-13
Summary: s8 spoilers:
When Allura said she was always with him, it wasn't a lie. or Lance never fully gives up on searching for Allura, and when Allura becomes the universe, Lance dates the universe.
Word count: 4k
Author's note:
When I told my GF about the ending of VLD, she said "why would that get in the way of them being together? Greek gods date mortals all the time. He can date the universe."
Also, as of the afterbuzz interview, the EPs planned on adding a line where Lance said "Allura is out there somewhere and I'm going to find her" and would go back and put it in if they could.
And that Nebula!Allura means that Allura could come back in a future spin off or sequel.
And that Lance's farmer ending was actually him trying to revive the earth because the war was extremely hard--sort of like how Allura revived that tree on their date.
And this is my attempt to make sense and fix the ending which I uhm, did not enjoy or support. (Or wherein Lance temporarily uses gardening to cope, but eventually goes back to piloting and finding Allura.)
Here you go, Sarah. Fix-it fic for the finale.
As sunset turned to night, the fountain was the only sound in left in Allura square. Far off was the glow of streetlights and lights slowly turning off, one by one. In his arms was a big bouquet Juniberry flowers he had grown. Some were sent back home to his family, and others would be taken to the nearby international market; a florist always gave him enough that he never had to worry about funds.
Lance laid the delicate purple Juniberry flowers down in front of the statue that had been made of Allura. He always saved the best for her.
His family and Hunk often brought meals, and their own worries. There wasn't a day his mother didn't call.
One day, mama he always promised her. One day I'll come back to the beaches of Cuba.
The rest of the Paladins didn't quite understand this, (Pidge's exact words had been you're going to start a farm?) but Lance found a certain happiness in watching life return to the scorched earth.
It was what Allura would've wanted. Not the part where he was caught up in grief, unable to move on or find a way back to her, but the part where she rebuilt the earth, and the universe with her own two hands, her own massive power, with Lance by her side.
This was just the closest he could get to that dream right now.
(She didn't even have a grave. And in truth, Lance couldn't bring himself to buy her one. That would mean she was truly gone forever. And Lance couldn't accept that. Not now, not ever.)
Moonlight shone over the fountain behind the stone flairs of her skirt. Not even the lights of the city drowned it out tonight.
"I miss you, Allura," Lance said. His voice broke. "Every single second, every single minute, every single day--Vargas or Deca-Phoebe... I just...miss you. That's all. I'd do anything to bring you back. Fight any monster the world could throw at me. Go back in time and find a way to fix it in any way I could that didn't leave you away from us...from me."
Every star he saw in the sky was her. She was the ground he laid upon, the gentle touch of the breeze. Everything reminded her. The growing trees, the way her palm had brought back life into the earth.
He'd laminated the picture to save it as long as physically possible.
That first kiss. The way she had bent in towards him before the shining tree. The electric feel of her magic, her touch, her lips.
Everything.
The Altean marks on his face burned with energy. Billions of stars filled the sky above him. As he closed his eyes, he could feel the heat. The pure energy of a supernova heartbeat. If he could reach out to a shooting star, he'd wish on every one. And it would just be her name, like a hoarse whisper, a breath.
Dark gold warmth enveloped him. He knew it was a dream, and yet he reached out to the star woman with the vastness of space for skin, stars in her hair, like the crown she'd so freely given up.
There was a bright glow--stars before his eyes--The flowers disappeared.
Lance stared up at the stars he'd once flown through. He could've sworn he'd heard her voice, echoing through his mind.
*
For days, Lance tried to brush it off as lack of sleep. He spent most days tossing and turning, the memories too near to escape.
But he couldn't push aside the incredibly powerful jolt of energy which somehow reminded him of her as the marks on his face glowed blue.
Every single night, Lance kept leaving them at her statue. And every time, they disappeared, like burnt offerings.
And Lance kept coming with gifts, like a foregone hope, like a promise to never give up on her, and never stop searching. Even if he didn't even know where to begin right now, he knew one thing for certain deep inside: Allura was far across the universe, but she wasn't gone.
But he didn't know how to reach her yet, or where even to start. The Lions were gone. A simple hovercar wouldn't get him that far.
Still, through it all, Lance knew he'd find a way.
*
Movements later, something rocketing across the sky above him made his whole house shudder. Lance tossed the blanket aside, and ran outside barefoot. Blue hovered over the field of Juniberry flowers, shining with power and with such force that the stems bent beneath the shockwaves of wind. His marks burned with power as the Lion neared.
Blue landed before him, and let out a roar. Lance began to run, and almost tripped face-first into flowers. Finally, he touched his old Lion--and old friend, and felt the same rush of quintessence.
"Blue! It's been a long time since I saw you." He chuckled at the rhyme.
He reached up to stroke the giant Lion's head. He scratched Blue underneath the chin, like a house cat. The jaw instantly opened, like a smile.
Lance got into his Lion without even changing out of his pajamas.
He sat at that cockpit, and everything came back to him. Even though he'd flown little more than a small hovercar to deliver flowers to the intergalactic florist, everything came back like muscle memory.
"Like they always said: once you learn how to fly a robot lion from space, you never forget. Though 'it's just like flying a robot lion from space' doesn't really have a ring to it..."
Lance chuckled to himself.
(If Pidge were there, she could've said it's a hovercycle, Lance. Everyone knows and then pushed up her glasses and given him a dirty look.)
He felt more alive than he had for a long time. He promised Allura that he'd go across the universe for her. He intended to keep that promise. And he finally knew how it would happen.
Just the same way he'd met her the first time: through his Lion.
The trees and oceans became more and more distant until they were smears of cyan and green, a painted sphere. Time lost all meaning in space. As they passed planet after planet, Lance could only think that he didn't have enough supplies, and the Juniberries would wilt without him. But just that taste of space again had ignited a feeling of memory. Even with no one to hear them, Lance couldn't stop telling jokes. Hope grew in him, with little leaves rising up through the snow.
*
When Lance returned , he'd lost all track of time. He could've been gone Phobes or Movements, or even almost a Deca-Phobe--though he hoped it wasn't the latter. His mother would be awful worried at the lack of any news.
It wasn't home, not quite. It wasn't the beaches of Cuba, but it was close to Allura--or whatever he had left or her.
(For now, he added on. He refused to ever say goodbye to her for good.)
"Thanks for coming back for me, Blue."
Blue had been both his and hers. He smiled at the remember. His very own Mrs. Blue Lion.
"Go back and keep looking for her. Make sure she's safe out there, on whatever planet she landed in. But come back for me, okay? Once I get enough food ready, we'll go again. And no matter how many times it takes, we're going to find Allura together."
Blue let out a roar, and rocketed into the sky.
He watched Blue disappear further and further, until there was nothing but memories of piloting through the stars, by the side of his closest friends, one of who was the
*
A voice called out as Lance loaded his fresh cut flowers out for the florist into the hovercar.
"Hey, Lance!"
The sun beat down on Lance's brown skin. He tossed aside the trowel, and brushed his hands on his jeans. They'd ripped clean through the knee in one side. With a smile, Lance brushed the pollen out from his dark hair, and gave Hunk a wave.
"You're almost as hard to get ahold of as Keith, and he's reaching spy levels of trying to find. Who knew that the Blade of Marmoa's next mission would be planning Ezor and Zethrid's wedding?"
Lance smiled. "Keith, a wedding planner? Somehow, I can't see it."
"No, I'm the one doing that. Technically I guess that makes me an honorary Blade of Marmoa? If they had their way, there'd be streamers made of laser guns, and Zethrid would wear the same war uniform, except this time, she'd be sleeveless. I catered Shiro's, too. I'd say it went pretty well."
"I remember that. You made an amazing cake," Lance said.
His memory went back to Shiro's wedding. It'd been good to see Shiro smiling again, no longer carrying such a heavy burden. Except, like so many moments, he wished Allura had been there. She and Shiro had been especially close of all of the Paladins. In every happy picture, there was a hole where she should've been.
"Yeah--" Hunk broke off. "Listen--Are you okay, buddy? I baked a pie just for you. Pidge said you hadn't been responding to messages. We're all really worried. Or at least I think we are. Lone Wolf Keith over there hasn't even gotten any messages in Movements."
Hunk smiled--he was always smiling for them, even when things got dire. He held them up, and kept the team together when no one else could. He had a fresh white apron on, like he'd just come out from the kitchen, and it was a contrast to his dark skin. His dark hair was pulled back with a headband that looked like he'd borrowed it from Pidge, yet there was just a slight dusting of white flour on his striped yellow shirt, and on the edges of his collar. Nobody did diplomacy or food like Hunk, and somehow he meshed them together. One day, his pies were going to grant the world an even deeper peace than Voltron ever could. Lance was sure of that.
His expression grew concerned as he continued. "I know it's been...difficult."
He couldn't say the words, but Lance was glad he didn't. Because Lance wouldn't allow himself to give up on her. Even if grief was a constant, even if he'd missed her every second since she gone.
"I'm better than I've been in a long time," Lance said.
Hunk's expression brightened into a smile. "Oh, that farming thing finally panning out?"
Lance looked up, to the skies he'd once flown through, an ace pilot and sharpshooter--at least when he told it. "No. Blue came back."
"Again? I'm glad to hear it. I wish Yellow would come to visit, but I bet Yellow's off enjoying that space food."
"Allura is out there somewhere, and I'm going to find her."
"Lance, buddy..."
Hunk put his strong hand on Lance's shoulder. He'd been the one to force Lance's hand, and prompt that one beautiful date. Now he was the one who showed up with he most amazing food. Meat pies and puddings and casseroles in small containers, like it was a wedding or a wake.
Hunk let out a sigh, and finally smiled. But there was sadness in his eyes. "Look, I'll support you. You need food? I'll set you up with the best imaginable. You'll be eating like royalty while you're up there. I'll call Pidge and get her to upgrade your tech like you wouldn't believe."
"Thanks, Hunk."
"Just... promise you'll come back. I don't want to lose anybody else. If you start running low on food, come back. Don't take that risk. I'll make a whole feast, and invite the rest of the Paladins."
Lance gave Hunk a cocky smile, the first in a long time, since Allura had walked into nothingness. "I'll come back when I find her."
Hunk pulled him into a hug, and cuffed him on the back. "That's the Lance we all know and love. We thought we were losing you."
Lance closed his eyes. "I just needed some time to...deal, you know? I always knew I would look for her. I just didn't know where to start."
"If anyone can find her, it's you," Hunk said.
*
He waited until winter to start his travel again, when the Juniberries were under masses of snow, and he had gathered enough food to last for weeks, even months alone in space.
Until he found her.
Stepping into his old Paladin suit was like stepping back in time. Already he felt lighter, warmer inside. In these past few weeks, he'd cracked more jokes than he had in the entire year of raising Juniberries.
And he'd only get stronger as he went farther into space. Now that he knew she was out there, Lance was never going to fall back into that overwhelming grief again.
*
Lance slept and woke until he couldn't tell what hour or week it was any longer. If he'd been Pidge, he would've made some elaborate computer program to track the food stores and how long he'd been out there.
But he wasn't Pidge. So he flew Blue full force towards the edges of the universe, full force into the unknown.
(Hunk's last words kept with him. He stopped for supplies often, even when it meant all he had to eat was green space goo.)
In all likelihood, Allura wouldn't be in any of the known planets. If she'd shown up then, there would've been instant celebrations across every single planet that the woman who saved the entire universe was back. Because from the moment they returned, Lance forced himself out of the weight of grief to let everyone know what she'd done for them. Lance had been a driving force in making that statue (though not the location. He would've put it in Cuba, where he would've taken Allura on the second date.)
But Lance checked anyways. Because he was going to look over every single spec of existence in this entire universe, if that was what it took.
He'd mapped out stars and planets. Sometimes, he stopped on grateful former allies, who had already turned the story of Voltron into a myth. Other times, the planets were cold, and barren.
"This planet isn't listed on the coordinates. I'll call it Planet Allura."
To be fair, he'd also named three other unknown, uninhabited planets Allura. At this rate he'd have to work out a system of numbers, until all the unknown stars and galaxies at the edge of universe would be a solid wall of Allura to infinity.
Maybe he'd have to vary them up. Alluralandia, Alluraville, Alluralands.
*
The other Lions all floated around a huge, unknown nebula, deep in the reaches of space. He'd call this one Allura, too. One day when he saw her again, he'd let her know that in his search, he'd named a big chunk of the galaxy for her. And he'd get the maps of the solar system and connect the dots.
Allura was what held the universe together. And Lance would never let anyone ever forget what she gave up for them.
The nebula moved. Lance clutched deeper to Blue's controls. Was it like the space angler which had almost tuned them against each other in an effort to catch them?
But as the marks on his face glowed, he recognized that feeling. Like the brush of her fingers against his cheeks for that last time.
But this time, it wasn't goodbye.
Lance all but bolted for the door. All this time he'd imagined her falling to a planet like a shooting star. All the time, he was sailing through the space to find her, when she was space.
She was the entire galaxy in human form before him. He expected it to be a dream, but he kept not waking, and not waking. Lance had never been so grateful for this.
He left Blue, and floated through the dark vastness. The old saying went In space, no one could hear you scream. She didn't have the pink paladin uniform, just the entirety of the blackness of the universe that folded out like a dress over her.
She was starlight and wore a crown of asteroids, her dark skin was the entirety of space, of every reality that had ever been and would ever be. She held a small planet in her hand, newly made, and placed it among the others.
She'd been busy. Of course when Allura became this kind of goddess, she wouldn't just nap and hang around. No, she'd created new worlds to replace everything the Galra had taken from them all. Was this a new Altea, she had formed from nothingness, or was it other worlds for all the displaced refugees who had lost their planets?
"Allura...you're beautiful," Lance said softly.
She turned around. The planet was set in place, with so much foliage that it looked mostly green.
Lance...it's been so long...
She reached out, and enclosed him in the kind of warmth and power that he'd longed for. Lance had always admired her strength, but now she'd gotten so much stronger. She could create worlds with the brush of her fingers. If the Galra invasion had come now, she would've destroyed every single ship in the time it'd take someone to blink.
And it was really hot.
"You know, I always knew you were a goddess. I just didn't know it would ever be so literal."
Her laughter was the most beautiful sound he'd ever heard.
I've missed you so much, Lance...Even though I was watching all along. I couldn't comfort you. I felt your pain so deeply. And yet, I couldn't even tell you that I still existed.
Her voice filled his mind. He was so glad in that moment that she could hear him. That she'd heard him through all those miles.
I thought...you would surely move on. I had resigned myself to it, that this was my sacrifice. Perhaps we would not even be together in the afterlife. You'd go on to be with your wife or husband. But you never did.
"When I said that I loved you, I meant it. There's no one else for me, Allura."
His mother had let him grieve at first, but as a few years passed, she began to gently urge him to go to dances, to go back to the beaches and back to his old ways. The rest of the former Paladins had also nudged him towards something other than waiting for her, and helping revive the planet as Allura would have done.
"I've been telling everyone about you. About what you sacrificed for them. There wasn't a day that went by that I told people of how strong, and smart and brave you were...and are. You gave up everything for us. Your planet, your castle, your crown and even yourself. I just wish I could give even half back to you that you gave to us. To let you know how much you mean to me." His voice cracked at this.
The nebula closed around him. Her lips against his was a supernova. While universes were created between them, in the space between his fingers and hers. When she drew back, he felt as revived as the time she'd flown through space to use her alchemy powers and save him from the brink of death.
Lance's back, baby, he thought.
"Allura, everyone's waiting for you. The other Paladins totally want to see you again, and there's so many kids out there who I told your story to. I wouldn't let anyone forget for a moment what you gave up. Let's go home."
Lance, I won't be the same. Things have changed... I can speak with you because I left those marks on you, but I'm not just an Altean princess anymore.
"It doesn't matter that you're basically a big gorgeous space goddess. You're still Allura and I love you no matter what you become. Also did I mention super hot gorgeous space goddess?"
Lance grinned cockily. "In fact... everyone's going to be jealous of me for dating an amazing lady. Just like they should be."
She laughed. Lance...in the end, you still kept that spark. Even through such pain. And that's why I love you.
"The only reason? I guess I need to work harder to impress you with my massive piloting and sharpshooting skills. I'm getting rusty with all those Juniberries I've been growing."
She laughed again, and he felt full of warmth and light. Thank you for those. They made me happy when I felt so lonely. Lance, I love everything about you. Even your bad jokes.
"Good, because I've got plenty to tell you."
Oh, joy.
"Listen, Allura. I'm sure you can do it. You always could. You saved me, you saved Shiro from Black's consciousness. You always just know how to...do things with your alchemy. I believe in you. I know you know how to come back to us...and to me."
The nebula shape became smaller and smaller, until she was around the same height as him. An immortal goddess of the stars shrunk down to something shaped like the lady he once knew. She was different. More powerful, more beautiful as she glowed with the power of a billion realities. He'd really have to up his game to keep up with her.
Either way, she was still Allura, and that was all that mattered.
She reached out and took his hand (because she always knew what she wanted, and wasn't afraid to take it) and touching her felt like gripping primordial energy, like touching the sun and never melting. Just file it away on one of those little things. My incredible space princess girlfriend turned into a space goddess and now just touching her feels like I'm feeling an entire universe being created. Just those little things I'll have to get used to.
By the time they returned, it'd be spring again, and the Juniberries would be in bloom. He'd finally be able to take her to the Cuban beaches for that Garlic knot, and to see the rebuilding of the earth, and every other planet she hadn't reached yet with her grace.
They could travel the entire universe, every reality together, and then go back in time to meet his family. He smiled back at her. Hand in hand, they headed back towards their Lion.
no subject
Date: 2019-03-18 10:15 pm (UTC)That aside, though, this was beautifully written. I loved Lance and Allura's scene at the end, and Hunk being his usual wonderful self. (Also, Zethrid and Ezor would so get married in war uniforms and use WHOLE laser guns for their decorations.)
no subject
Date: 2019-03-19 12:10 am (UTC)