fic: Then Comes Marriage

[bonnefois]

Title: Then Comes Marriage
Series: TF2 second gen.
Character/pairings: OC Second gen (Noah/Alice, Saburou/Johanna, Scout/Miss Pauling, Soldier/Zhanna)
Rating: PG-13
Word count: 8800
Author's note: I guess this is AU (unless Bowler says it isn't). Wedding fic? Wedding fic!!

Yes, I'm posting pieces of this wildly out of order. \o/

Here's your trade, dude.



"That burger was really good," Alice said. She kept herself from breaking out into a run; Noah couldn't keep up with her, not without his rocket launcher, and he usually left that behind when they went out into town. Besides, she was at the point of full where she'd be barfing on someone's shoes if she went off sprinting in this heat.

"In fact, I could have a whole bunch more," Alice said. She let out a burp. "Oh, that feels better. I could totally fit another burger or two in there."

He'd been surprisingly quiet all week--even moreso than usual. She turned back to make sure he even was still there. His helmet was pushed so low that she couldn't even see his face.

"Earth to Noah. Did the burger give you a stomach cramp or something?" Alice said.

He pulled off his helmet. It was still stunning, like a punch in the gun, like staring at the sun to see him out of part of his uniform. He knelt down suddenly, and set his helmet aside. She thought it was to tie his boots up, but he pulled out a ring from his pocket of his uniform jacket. It had a large square-cut diamond encircled in gold, with smaller diamonds around the base. She could only stare in amazement.

She covered her mouth in sheer shock at the shining, lovely thing held out to her.

"You aren't going to vomit on my shoes again, are you?" Noah teased.

"Ugh, I want a divorce!"

"You'd have to marry me to get one of those," Noah said. "Does this mean you'll marry me?"

"Okay, I'm marrying you so I can divorce you," Alice said. He slipped the ring on her finger. She broke out laughing as he rose. The ring shone in the sun, enough to momentarily strike someone blind.

"I could probably kill somebody with one of these. I might not be able to take it onto the battlefield. I could put it around my neck, like dad with his tags," Alice said.

"As long as you keep my ring near, I don't mind how you wear it."

He lifted her up they spun around together. Alice laughed and laughed. He kissed her cheeks, and pulled back only to see her smile.

"Don't drop me--it's a long fall down," Alice said.

"Don't worry, I'm not letting go of you anytime soon," Noah said.

Alice flushed bright red as he carried her back, bridal style, all the way home.

*

She slipped next to Noah, the next day at mess hall. The room was still fairly empty, but Alice was never late to any meal. Noah tended to be prompt for everything. Being raised in a pseudo-military household raised that kind of orderliness that Alice found somewhat fascinating, and aggravating, depending on how it manifested.

"I went shopping with mom. Dad spent the entire time talking about punching people, saying he had allergies that made his eyes water, and alternatively taking notes for when he marries mom again," Alice said.

"How many times is it now?" Noah said.

"I lost count," Alice said. "Mom probably remembers. She always keeps track of that stuff."

Alice leaned against him, slipping her arm in his. Their moment of intimacy was cut short when Alice let out a groan and leaned against the table.

"Stomach cramp?" Noah said.

Alice grimaced. "Ugh, you should wear the wedding dress! I really hate lace! It's so itchy. I looked at those dresses, and they look like cakes, but you can't even eat them."

"It doesn't have to be a big affair. If you want to get married in your running shoes, you can. If you want to get married in your pajamas, you can," Noah said calmly.

She laughed. "A pajama party! I wonder why nobody ever thought of that. Maybe we should elope. Do they let you wear jeans in Vegas?"

"I think you can wear anything you want in Vegas," Noah said.

"So, we could get married in one of those fan dancer's outfits?" Alice said. She snickered, and eyed him mischievously. "I bet you'd pull it off."

Noah grimaced. "Would that really be more comfortable than a wedding dress?"

Alice made finger guns, and winked. "It would if you were the one wearing it!"

She burst out laughing at the expression on his face. "Kidding, kidding!"

She nuzzled against his arm. It took some contorting for him to touch her, with the strong grip she hand on his nearest arm.

"If you started to arm wrestle, you'd win every round," Phila said cheerily. She set her tray down on the other side of the bench.

"That's right, I'd take everyone," Alice said. She grinned mischievously. "You wanna see my wrestling skills?"

He leaned in to whisper in her ear. "I'm afraid I have the upper hand there." The slightly suggestive edge in his voice made her flush bright red.

"Alice, are you all right?" Johanna said. She set her tray next to Phila's.

"She's just flirtin' around with her fiancee," Vera said. Several others of the group joined them, seated on the other side.

Alice gasped. "What?"

"What, ye think I'm blind?" Vera said. She smirked. "I may be a DeGroot Demolitions master, but still got both my eyes, in case ye didn't notice."

"She saw Noah buy the ring. She's been snickering about it for ages. I won the bet, though," Casun said.

"Ach, I was off only by a few days," Vera said.

"I guess the cat's out of the bag. We're getting hitched!" Alice lifted his hand up, and her ring shone in the lights like a beacon.

Vera let out a low whistle. "Ye could kill somebody with that," Vera said.

Alice grinned."That's what I said!"

*

Alice had a whole pile of papers scrunched up around her at the kitchen table. The plates had been taken away towards the dishwasher, and the television could be heard from the living room. Alice buried her head against the paper and let out a groan of frustration.

"You look tired," Sophia said. Alice looked up to see her mother standing just a few inches from the table, a dishcloth in hand.

Alice puffed her cheeks out. "Ugh, this feels like I'm doing homework. Why is getting married so complicated?"

"It isn't that complicated," Sophia said.

"Well, you did get married a lot of times. Why'd I get the complicated one?" Alice said.

"There's more than one way to get married," Sophia said.

Sophia lifted up the latest draft to read it over.

"Hmmm. Alice, are you sure 'you make me feel like I have the stomach flu ' is really the wedding vow you want to go with?" Sophia said.

"But the other ones suck. To worship and obey? What the hell is this crap?" Alice crossed her arms, and stuck her tongue out at the paper.

"I didn't put that in my vows, either. Your father joked about keeping them in his, though," Sophia said.

Alice leaned her chin on the palm of her hand, and considered her mother. "What'd you have with dad?" Alice asked.

"Well, the first time, we were in a hurry, and we abridged it quite a bit, and we had to be married by Jane. His priest training has come in pretty handy a few times now. The second time he had a long vow, long enough that we had to cut several pages or the guests threatened to leave. His original speech would've lasted roughly eight hours," Sophia said.

"Wow," Alice said. She twirled one of her curls around her finger with her other hand.

"Third one was Vegas, and we were both a little tipsy, so I don't really remember it all. I do remember him screaming out 'fuck yeah, I'm marryin' her again,' though," Sophia said.

"And the rest?" Alice said.

Sophia smiled wryly. "If I listed them, we'd be here all day."

"I bet your mom forgot," Liam said. His eyes were still red-rimmed, from allergies, he claimed.

"I did not. It's up to over ten at last count."

Liam winked. "Wait until we hit twenty."

Alice pushed the rest of the vows into the trash. "I'll have to just do this later."

"That depends. Did you want to get married before the next tour? Because that'd give you two weeks," she said. Sophia lifted up her planner and flipped through the penciled in dates. "And we'll be on tour for the next six months..."

"Crap," Alice said. She pulled out another page. This time, she doodled an angry stick figure holding a bloody severed head.

"That's my girl," Liam said.

*

The car was a deep ebony, and shiny enough that she could see her reflection in the sides. Experience told Alice that it had bulletproof sides, as well as a host of other things. It could probably do more things than even the James Bond cars could.

Alice hopped into the front passenger seat. A few Tom Jones tapes peeked out of the cubbyhole, as well as some tissues, wet wipes, and band-aids. Her mother was always prepared, no matter what the circumstances. Many people at her mother's station had drivers and limos, but Sophia rarely gave in that much. Only when Alice had been going through driver's training had she let someone else take the wheel.

"Where to, mom?"

"We're going to try on a few dresses," she said.

"You too? Is it going to be another wedding for you--ooh, is it a double wedding?"

"No, though I suppose I should get a new dress for your wedding," she said. She smiled wryly. "I suppose I could just show up in my suit."

"I wouldn't mind," Alice said.

The drive only took a few minutes, until they were parked outside of Barbie's Bridal Boutique.

"I figure we can have it made custom, but I'd give you an idea what they look like."

"If you put them all together, it'd make a sound like BBBBB." Alice made a raspberry. "Like that."

Alice reeled at the sight of all these frills and lace. She hadn't seen this much dainty stuff since Nancy's last debutante ball pictures came in the papers. Alice started to walk from mannequin to mannequin.

A grandmotherly looking receptionist with steely gray curls approached her. She might've even been the Barbie from the store's name. "Hi there. Is your mother getting married?"

By now, Alice was used to being mistaken for a fifteen year old. "No, it's my turn."

"Oh, are you sure?" the receptionist said. She looked Alice up and down, no doubt taking in her lack of curves.

"Quite," Sophia said dryly.

"Would you like cake while you browse?" the receptionist said.

Alice brightened. "I'd love some!"

She started listing off styles, sizes and fittings, and sent the receptionist to the back with a flip of her wrist. Through the years, Alice had watched her mother grow from a hard working woman to a truly formidable woman, from assistant to Administrator.

"You know, more stores should give you cake while you shop," Alice said. "This is such a great idea, I can't believe more stores don't do it."

"There's a million-dollar idea," Sophia said.

Sophia pointed to a satiny dress in the front of the store. "This empire waistline would look good on you," Sophia said.

"An Umpire waistline? Like an Umpire?" Alice giggled at the thought of coming down the aisle with a big helmet and the body-armor like gear across her chest.

Sophia smiled crookedly. "Not quite, though that'd be something."

"Those sleeves are really poofy," Alice said.

"I'm not a fan of poofy sleeves, either," Sophia said.

She paused at the corner, as if she were considering something.

"Why don't you sit down for a moment?" she said.

They came to rest at a pair of thick chairs, covered in a pattern that looked like a rug with a particularly garish design had been stapled on. It felt like it, too.

"It's been a while since we've had any mother-daughter time." Sophia sighed. "I guess, it's my turn to apologize."

"Mom, don't be silly. You don't have to be sorry--you didn't do anything wrong."

Sophia took off her glasses and started to clean the lenses on a cloth.

"I tried to cut back on work, but in the end I still missed a lot. I had to see a lot of your life through pictures, because I was gone for the day. I missed your first steps. Your father would always bring me the photos and tell me everything that happened. When we moved, I had a little more time, but now, it seems like I'm losing that again with all the responsibilities of being Administrator. I should let other people take control, but I'm just such a control freak--I can't manage it. I'm falling into the same pitfalls she did...the only difference is she never had anything to lose." Sophia voice cracked, and she noticed the fresh hint of tears.

Alice had never met the former Administrator, who had only been spoken off in hushed voices by the other mercenaries, and harsh voices by her more daring father. But she had cast a shadow over her life, all the same.Alice had cried into her pillow, overhearing yet another fight started when the former Administrator wouldn't give Sophia enough time off.

"It's okay, mom," Alice said. She reached out to hold her. "Dad and I used to make a game of waiting for you. He'd psych us up like 'only three more hours until mom comes home!' Stuff like that."

"He always waited for me. He used to have to wait years to do so. And it comes to mind that you shouldn't have had to wait--neither should he. He never was patient until me, and well, you," Sophia said. She chuckled mirthlessly. "Almost thirty years, and he's still waiting for me to be less of a workaholic."

"It's not like I look back and think how miserable I was. I missed you sometimes, but I had a lot of fun. We should go back to the farmhouse again sometime. We could go catch fireflies again, watch the fireworks in July, and go swimming down by the river," Alice said.

Sophia replaced her glasses, and pushed them up with one finger. "Most of the rooms are filled with dogs now, since it was converted into an Alice foundation dog rehoming project. We'd have to call ahead just to vacate enough room for us to stay," Sophia said.

"As it should be," Alice said firmly.

"Just--When you have children, don't hesitate to put them first. I'll make sure you never have to choose between having enough to pay the bills, but that time goes so very fast. You wouldn't think it, but it'll be over before you even know it."

Alice was at a loss for words. Sophia leaned in and kissed her forehead. "I hope you know that I always kept the pictures around when I couldn't be there. All over my desk, and even the walls for long times."

"Mom--" Alice said.

"After your honeymoon, we should pencil in some more time. Just for the family," Sophia said.

"I can't wait," Alice said. She reached out wrap her arms about her mother's smaller frame. Alice closed her eyes. "Don't be sad, okay? Sure you were busy sometimes, but we had lots of fun. You're just being a downy-drowny and not remembering all the good times, and having allergies like dad."

Sophia chuckled. "You'll understand when you're my age. There's always regrets. 'I shouldn't have snapped that time' 'I should've been around more.' They say hindsight is 20-20."

"I bet dad doesn't have any," Alice said.

Sophia shook her head, and smiled. "No, he always lives life to the fullest. I'm glad you take after him so much."

Alice smiled. Sometimes she wished she took more after her mom, and was the type of woman who could finish a million things in a weekend, to be so composed, feminine and yet still hold her own in the business world, but Alice didn't allow herself to focus on such regrets. She could run in record times, and she had her father's laugh. In the end, the business world wasn't hers, and that was fine with her.

"You gotta live in the present, mom. So, you missed my first steps. So what? You got the pictures, and you'll watch my first steps down the aisle," Alice said.

"I'll cancel whatever it takes to be there. I'll even turn off the phone," Sophia said.

And for Sophia, that was a grand gesture indeed. They'd spent many a family night being interrupted by pagers, then mobile phones as the technology landscape changed. Since Sophia had become Administrator, that time had become even more scarce, until they were only seeing hints of her between meetings and press releases.

"And I'm going to make phone off days a habit. Sometimes, at least. The company can survive for a few hours without me, and I'll hire whoever it takes to make it so," Sophia said. There was that unwavering determination in her green eyes; Alice knew this resolve would not fail.

"It's a bit late for a New Year's resolution, but I bet you'll make it stick, mom. You always do," Alice said.

The receptionist came back with the cake and dresses. No more regrets, Alice vowed. She'd make the most of everything in her life.

*

Alice hadn't shown off her ring at the latest press releases. In fact, she'd kept her hands in her pocket the whole time, lest one of the gossip mags get ahold of it. Of all the players, Alice was one of the least speculated on them. She didn't miss blinking into cameras flashing, though it was a shame she never got any good ads unless someone asked on her behalf.

But, for a little while, she wanted to avoid the kinds of hate mail and mourning of teenage girls everywhere that Noah was off the market. She wanted him to be hers, if only for a few more hours.

Alice slumped into the chair of the white and nearly bare anteroom, as her mother read off the dates to the camera in the other room. Her clear voice carried through even these thick walls. Noah was a steady--and handsome--presence beside her, his hand just slightly brushing hers. She never quite got over that thrill; even holding hands, or the rough feel of his uniform made her flush with pleasure.

"Something the matter?" Noah murmured.

"This is all so confusing. Cakes? Dresses? Mom keeps sending me memos. Picking bridesmaids? The dresses? Ugh, I don't know about all this," Alice said. She pulled at her curls in a nervous spiral. She'd already pulled out her ponytail, and left her hair to spill down her shoulders.

Noah rested his palm to her back, amid her vibrant hair.

"You didn't like the cake tasting?" Noah said.

"They wouldn't let me have seconds," Alice said petulantly. "How am I supposed to know whether I want it from just one teensy bite?"

"We could have a simple wedding," Noah said.

"What's even the point of showing up if there isn't cake?" Alice said.

"Me, I'd hope," Noah said dryly.

"I don't have to go to a cake shop to eat you, though," she said.

Noah blushed. Alice grinned, mentally marking down a score. he might get the better of her most of the time, but sometimes, just sometimes, she could make him blush too.

"What will be will be," Noah said.

He was always so calm, even in the face of battle. Alice rested her head against his arm, because she'd have to get several cushions, and maybe a step-stool to reach his shoulder.

*

Alice lasted a week before she called in for help. Namely, her mother. Sophia had led attacks, survived the gravel wars, the robot wars and being married to a mercenary. In another week, Sophia had booked sensible bridesmaid dresses, contacted Alice's teammates and a few on the BLU team as well, though not Nancy. Alice's patience only went so far.

That night, she relaxed on the couch next to her dad, instead of agonizing over wedding choices.

"You know, mom was right. Marriage is easy. I can't believe this all got done in a weekend," Alice said.

Liam leaned back on the tan couch and stretched his arms behind his neck. Through the years, Sophia had invested in gradually more and more brown carpets and furniture, all to hide the inevitable dirt and dog hair that got tracked in. The television was muted. News headlines crossed across the bottom of the screen.

"See, I told you. I let you Soph take care of it. She knows best."

"So marriage is...letting mom do everything?" Alice said.

He smiled. "Well, I do some things. I did a whole lot of dad things. And other stuff you don't need to know."

"Killing stuff or private stuff?" Alice said.

"Both," Liam said.

"I don't know how she does it," Alice said. "I couldn't even get the vows right."

Liam smiled, tender and nostalgic. She'd seen that look on her father's face so many times as he recounted the tales of before, especially when it came to her mother. "That's Sophia magic for you. She used to do so much in a day. Now she does even more. She just... does stuff, and she does it well."

"Hey, mom!" Alice called.

Sophia returned from the kitchen, five notorized forms in hand. Every hair was even still in place. Alice couldn't even make it through dinner without half her curls going awry.

"Did you need something, Alice?"

"Just--Thanks," she said. "It's always easier when you're around."

Liam gave Alice a sly smile. "You know what time it is?"

"Yeah, hug mom time!"

Both Liam and Alice got up from the couch, and rushed to hug Sophia. Sophia burst into laughter.

"This hasn't happened in a while. You both used to stay up late--much later than you should have--to greet me when I'd get back from work."

"Maybe it should happen again. Triple hugs," Alice said.

"It's a family tradition," Liam said.

*

Alice sipped at her ice tea. Another press time, another bare white room and waiting to be called on stage to give a soundbite. She didn't know how her mother even got through them, but then Sophia was made of strong stuff. Steel and Adamantium, probably.

The door opened, and Alice rolled her eyes as a vision of blond curls and lace came through. As usual, her posture and stance was all lady and not remotely runner.

"My, I've been hearing things. Like that ring... What a quick wedding," Nancy said. "Was there a reason?"

Alice crossed her arms. "I do everything quick, in case you didn't notice. Then again, you probably didn't; you're too slow."

"I'm plenty quick where it counts. But not so much as to get covered in gross sweat like you do," Nancy said primly.

"I don't run around the baseball field crying about how I broke a nail," Alice said.

"For your information, it hurts. Humph!" Nancy tossed her blond curls. "Who wants to be married in May, anyways? Everyone knows June is prime wedding season. Your dress probably is going to be some bargain closeout thing like the rest of your hideous clothes."

Nancy puffed out her cheeks. "And that ring is so last year."

"You're just jealous," Alice said.

"Jealous? Of you?" Nancy burst out laughing. She held her hand over her mouth, delicately, ladylike.

"That I got married before you did," Alice said evenly.

"Slow and steady wins the race. And I'm going to marry a doctor," she said.

Alice couldn't help but smirk. "So, does he actually know, or did you just plan the dates and figure he'd come around eventually? Even Noah could see it isn't happening, and he runs into trees all the time."

Nancy stood up to her full height, and lifted her pale chin defiantly. "I wouldn't want to be your bridesmaid anyways. I'm sure the wine will be atrocious--complete swill, and the bridesmaids dresses would be so, so ugly!" She stalked out through the door, pushing it aside with as much force as she could muster. It couldn't slam, but she'd made her point very clear.

"Don't let the door hit your ass on the way out," Alice muttered.

*

Only a single bulb lit the dark back room. Jane rolled out the a paper across the whie folding table and pointed straight to a poorly drawn graph of the church and reception, with some bloody stick figures to represent key players in the plan. It could almost pass as a map, if the person saw it from a distance.

The rest of his 'army' was seated in metal folding chairs. The close and dark quarters made the room more than a little claustrophobic.

"At precisely 900 hours, Zhanna will be entering the chapel. Our mission is to make damn sure that your wife and mine are as far away as possible from each other at all times." He slammed his fist into the map. Do I make myself clear?

"Loud and clear, heavy on the loud," Liam said.

Across the table, all of Jane's family, and several of Liam's wore matching soldier helmets. Liam had kept on his trademark baseball cap, however.

"Noah, you'll take the middle. If either of them gets near, send them off on a mission," Jane said. Noah nodded solemnly.

"What kind of mission, father?" Noah said.

"A mission from God. Or for more beer," Jane said.

Liam slammed his fist onto the table. It didn't quite have as much of an impact as Jane's did.

"Oh, hell no! This is a dry weddin', remember? Like hell we're dealin' with drunk Zhanna. Or Tavish, or my Soph, for that matter. I am not havin' my baby's weddin' go up in flames. I will personally kick the asses of anyone who even thinks of ruinin' her weddin'! And that ain't a threat, it's a frickin' promise!"

"It'd be best if Alice didn't get in the alcohol, anyways. We don't want a repeat of all those Christmas parties," Noah said.

"Those Christmas parties?" Liam said. He looked suspiciously at Noah.

"I, um, barfed on someone's shoes--" Alice cut in.

among other things.. she muttered to herself. Thankfully, he didn't hear that part. Vera probably still had the pictures of her meowing like a cat, but at least she hadn't released them them to the public.

Light shone in as the large wooden door opened behind them. For a second, both Vera and Tavish were illuminated from behind, giving them almost an ethereal glow.

"Aye, I remember those days. Perfectly understandable, lass. It happens to everyone," Tavish said.

Both Vera and Tavish were covered in green goo, all across their uniforms. Vera wiped away the bright flecks on her face with the back of her hand.

"Got held up a bit. Monsters attackin' the keep again. Nothin' new. We held them off and sent them back to the dread dimension they came from," Vera said.

"You weren't trying to summon them because you were bored again, were you, Vera?" Alice said.

Vera laughed. "Father's made enough enemies that they're just dyin' for a taste of us. And we gave them a taste of iron."

Alice held up her hand, and Vera bumped it, and took a seat by her. Her large golden mass of hair couldn't be contained in a helmet like the rest.

"Alice, you distract Miss. Pauling," Jane said.

"For the last time, she's married. To me, I might add. Hey did I ever tell you--"

"Yes," came most of the crowd. Alice laughed, and pushed up her helmet. "Aye, aye! Captain!"

"We don't want my Soph hittin' the sauce and killin' anyone. You're goin' to just have root beer and ginger ale at your weddin', Alley cat," Liam said.

Alice gave him a thumbs up. "Root beer floats sound great."

Jane slammed his fist on the table for emphasis. "I will distract Zhanna by any means possible, including nudity!"

"Father, would it be too much to ask if you could keep your clothes on? If only for today. And any future baby showers. Thanksgiving would be nice, as well," Noah said.

"Any means possible, son. This is war, and if I have to tame my wife with the power of my ass, then I will," Jane said.

Vera burst out laughing. "Aye, it'll be one hell of a memorable day, probably for all the wrong reasons, though," Vera said.

Liam reached for his bat and placed it on the table. "This is my baby girl's weddin', you keep your ass in your friggin' pants!"

Alice climbed up on the table, and let out a loud whistle. "Orderrr!"

All arguments stopped. Like her father, she'd learned how to make her voice carry even when everyone else in the room was bigger than her.

"As the soon-to-be-bride, I decree--hey, that sounds fun. Decree, hehe, I wanna decree stuff more.... Anyways! No fist fights inside the church or reception. That means you, Marie."

She decloaked from the corner. "As if I'd stoop to using my fists," she said.

A cigarette ember shone in the corner. Spy slowly, even reluctantly revealed himself. "You're asking for quite a bit, ma petit. Your family breaks into fist fights at any opportunity. No family gathering is complete without a trip to the hospital."

"I didn't say there wouldn't be fights, we should just leave them in the parking lot," Alice said.

"Nothing says lack of property damage like my mother going off with a rocket launcher," Noah said.

"Maybe we'll have a special fight zone? We can seal it off, attach it to Respawn. If anybody needs to fight, they can go there and it'll be fisticuffs time!" Alice said. She smacked her fist to her palm for emphasis.

"There will be some line," Spy said dryly.

The rest of the group nodded in agreement.

"Maybe there should be walls or something. To keep the blood in check. Like a special fight room?" Alice said.

"I'm sure hardhat could make somethin' like that," Liam said.

Noah laid his hand on her shoulder. "It could be a new family ritual. The parents of the bride and groom fighting to the death."

"It's going to be every family gathering too. That's some kind of family tradition," Alice said.

"Wait until you get to the bear wrestling from my side," Noah said.

"It ain't that hard," Liam said.

"Last time you fought bears, You passed out and almost died, covered in your own--"

"Like I said, it ain't that hard--" Liam spoke over him.

"So, it's settled. We'll find a rumble area and no alcohol at all," she said. She leapt down, and straight into Noah's arms. He reeled back, chuckling as he caught her. She stayed there a moment, resting against his chest. They spun together just a moment as he set her down.

"Ehe, that's some good practice," Alice said.

The meeting broke up shortly after that. And then, it was mere hours until W-day, as Jane called it.

*

She'd pulled on her cleanest sneakers, and the shortest white dress that the store sold, that looked more like a prom dress than a wedding dress. The veil hung over her hair, filmy and covered in lace.

"Why do people like lace, anyways? It's all rough," Alice said to no one in particular. She scrunched up her nose as the lace brushed across her face.

Even the strongest hairspray and stylists couldn't make her hair behave, so Alice simply left it long, to cascade down her back. Noah liked it as it was, anyways.

"This would be better if it had some racing stripes on it," Alice said. "And maybe a jean jacket, with some nice patches all over it. The skirt would still get in the way of laps, though."

"If your father sees you like this, he'll start having allergies again," Sophia said.

Alice blinked into a flash, only to find that Spy had snapped several pictures.

"You're just using that to make him cry more, aren't you? Sophia said.

"It's just a pleasant side-effect," Spy said.

Delia had gotten a dress a few sizes up. Blue overalls peeked out below the low neckline. The empire waistline might have looked good on Alice, but it hardly fit Delia's thick curves.

"Can't you leave your overalls off for one day?" Marie said disgustedly.

"I can't carry a heavy load in this frippery," Delia said.

"It's unlikely you'll be setting up any of your vile little machines," Marie said.

"Naw, I'm goin' to be helpin' keep the killin' room up with dad. I'll probably shuck off this dress as soon as the reception comes along."

"Lucky," Alice said.

"Technically, it's your wedding, so your rules," Liam said.

Alice's eyes went starry. "So, Noah is wearing a tuxedo, tight shorts, or a pull off tux? Or maybe all of the above, heheh--"

Liam couldn't help but chuckle. "You're my kid, all right."

"I'm going to wear my biking shorts," Alice said. She lifted up her dress to show off a pair of tight black athletic shorts with red stripes up the sides.

Marie rolled her eyes. "Honestly, you'd think this was a 'hoe-down' and not a wedding," she said.

"When it's your wedding, you can pick the fashion," Alice said.

"There's little chance of that happening," Marie said.

"I saw you dancing with Kirk at the ball," Delia said. She smirked at the memory.

Marie flushed bright pink. "Please! It was just one dance. And it was to prove him wrong. He's such an oaf!"

"The lady sure doth protest to much," Delia said.

Marie grimaced, but had no reply. It was hard to fight Shakespearicles.

One by one, the girls left to take their places at the front of the arbor, until only her parents remained. An outdoor wedding in May, with white flowers, a white satin dress with no sleeves, and a everyone waiting for her. Especially Noah.

"It's--almost here," she said.

Alice gulped air until she coughed. Liam patted her on her back as she tried to regain composure.

"You nervous, peanut?" Liam reached out, a comforting touch to her shoulder.

"A little, but I always get a bit nervous before games. I always have to exercise it out until I'm excited again. You think I could run a lap or two before it starts?"

"No laps," Sophia said. She stepped in, in an elegant purple suit, with a flower corsage over the right breast pocket. "You'll ruin your dress."

Liam pulled out a tissue, and blew his nose. "These allergies are killin' me," he said. The trash can was already overflowing with used tissues.

Sophia rested her hand on his shoulder. "It'll all be okay."

"It's just, she ain't little anymore. I used to feed her and clean up after her and teach her all this stuff. And now she's all grown up. It happened way too soon," Liam said. He sighed. "Way, way too soon."

"Don't think of it as losing a daughter, think of it as gaining a son. That's how your mother took it," Sophia said.

"Yeah, but she had a ton of us. Me, I've just got Alice."

"Dad?" Alice said.

Liam put his hand over his heart. "Look at you, my beautiful girl, all grown up."

Alice smiled crookedly. "I've been grown up for a while, dad."

"I know, but now you're movin' out, and marryin'. Seems like just yesterday I was givin' you baths, and you were laughin' at everythin'. I mean everythin'. You thought me makin' raspberries was the funniest thing ever." He smiled, but there was a hint of sadness.

"Dad, don't be ridiculous. It's not like I'm going to Mars. I'm not going to stop being your daughter or anything."

He pulled her into a hug, his hands brushing her wild hair that not even hair gel could tame.

"Look, I don't care if you're married, you'll always be my baby, all right? Got it? Even when you're havin' babies."

Liam's eyes were so red, that it looked like he had pink eye. Sophia handed him another tissue. He balled it up in his hand.

"God, I don't know how all these dads get through this."

"You're just being silly, dad. You're still going to see me every day, and we'll go to all the games together."

"You'll understand when you have kids, Alley cat. I used to roll my eyes when the rest of them teared up at weddin's and crack jokes that they were cryin' for their lost freedom. I don't have anythin' to teach you anymore," Liam said. He bowed his head.

"You've got more to teach me than ever. I don't know anything about how to be married, and I feel lost half the time when I have to do adult stuff."

"Me too, that's why your mother does all the bills," Liam said.

"And I don't know anything about raising kids, or how to be a mom--"

Liam tensed. "Wait, is this why this weddin' went so fast--"

"No! Just...maybe one day. I haven't even thought about it much. But sometimes I see women with babies in the store and think, maybe that'll be me one day."

Liam finally brightened at this.

"All right! As soon as that honeymoon is over, the class is back in session. We'll start on Daddin' 101, then go straight into Treatin' Your Spouse Like A Champ 101. You'll come out with a whole degree--wait, a dad-gree of knowledge!"

Alice giggled. "I can't wait. Oh, it won't be too long. Baseball season is coming, and I don't want to miss out on our games."

"You're comin' for the games?" Liam said.

"Dad, you're so silly! Of course I'm coming for baseball season. We'll see each other every day at work. I don't think I'll even stop being a Dempsey. Maybe I'll go like mom and hyphenate."

"Once a Dempsey, always a Dempsey," Liam said. He leaned in to kiss her forehead.

"Mom?" Alice said.

"It's true, I don't get along with his...mother, and Jane caused me quite a bit of trouble over the years, but as long as he makes you happy, I'm happy."

"You think we can get one of those mile long tables, so you girls can't throw axes at each other?" Liam said.

"It'd have to be longer than that, I could still hit her at that range," Sophia said.

"Respawn room is definitely going to have to be a thing in family affairs," Alice said with a sigh.

*

She had little white flowers in her hair, like the night they'd danced together. The turning point, the moment he'd finally gotten past his regrets, and made everything clearer. The veil was filmy, sleek material, and a lace cover.

And Alice was going to get out of it the minute the reception was there.

Zhanna and Sophia were as far as was physically possible, without hiring separate halls. So far, the Respawn Room hadn't had any use, but there still was the after party to get to.

Liam walked her down the aisle, and squeezed her hand as he reluctantly stepped back. He gave Noah a meaningful glare. "You break her heart, I'll break your legs."

"I know; you've told me that for years now," Noah said.

Behind her was her own group of bridesmaids. Her mother had taken on the roll of both mother of the bride and best maid. Not even Vera, who hated to lose, could fight this one. Sophia had planned everything, and kept many homicides from occurring.

Vera smirked. "Go knock him dead."

"I don't think that's the right term for a wedding," Noah said.

"So did a lot of people. Like uncle Dell, and uncle Tavish, and Vera..." Alice scrunched her face up as she tried to think of more. "What about Misha?" She had dropped the moniker 'uncle,' a nickname from youth, when Noah and her started to become something more.

"Yes," Noah said.

"Wow, that's cold, even to his own family?" Alice said.

"Well, it was more telling me to be careful," Noah said.

Jane cleared his throat.

"Dearly beloved---" Jane frowned.

"Dearly Americans, we're here for the marriage of my son, Noah Doe, and Alice Pauling," Jane said.

Liam rolled his eyes. "We've been married for almost thirty years, for fuck's sake!"

"I guess it doesn't apply to those who aren't from the grand old US of A," Saburou murmured. Noah gave him a meaningful look. Anything could set off Jane into fits of rage.

She took his hand, and forgot all her lines, just like she'd forgotten herself so many times looking into his eyes. Alice blushed and ducked her hand. She laughed, part nervousness, part happiness. He squeezed her hand.

"Um, I take you, Noah for....marriage stuff. To...fight with, and fight beside, and--"

"To have and to hold," Noah prompted her. "Until death do us part."

"Respawn doesn't count," Alice said.

"No, it doesn't," Noah said.

"So, are we married now?" Alice said.

He looked to Jane. Jane nodded. "You may kiss the bride."

"I can already hear the shotgun being pumped," Noah said in an undertone to her.

Alice couldn't help but giggle. "Dad isn't allowed to do that anymore."

She had to get up on tip-toes to reach him. She'd kissed him plenty of times, but rarely in front of an audience. She shyly looked back at the audience. Lots of people were crying. Her mom was holding out another tissue to her dad.

So far, no one had died and the Respawn room had gone unused. She--and everyone else--had survived the wedding intact.

*

Out in the pavilion, the music was already in full swing. A whole table full of root beer and other very non-alcoholic drinks was set out. Brie cheese on Ritz crackers with root beer was certainly an statement. One enough to make Marie and Spy grimace in disgust.

"Think we'll be able to cut the cake soon? We don't even have to cut it, just face-first jump--" Alice's stomach growled. She picked up a few crackers and started to take a bite, but her fingers turned orange.

"That's it, the dress is going," Alice said. She turned her back to Noah, as she reached for a napkin. "Help me with my zipper, would you?"

"Right here?" Noah said with dismay.

"Yep, I've got emergency clothes on underneath."

His fingers lingered at her back, so intimate that she blushed. The dress fell away, and like a superhero shedding her working class identity, Alice stepped out of her dress and did a twirl. "That's better!" She hoisted it over her shoulder and rested it just near the chair of honor, next to the delicious white and fluffy tower of cake.

Before she could swipe a bit of frosting, she heard a footsteps. Alice turned, to see much of the DeGroot family coming towards her.

"Little Alice, you're all married now. Oh, I feel old," Yana said. She pulled her dark blue sheath about her a little more. Her dress sparkled like a deep blue ocean.

"Soon it'll be Vera who's gettin' married and spendin' all my money," Tavish said. He'd come in traditional clothes; he always was more comfortable in a kilt than a suit.

Vera smirked. She'd made little daring modifications to her bridesmaid dress, like a cut near the back of the dress. "Nah, I'll just live in sin and be a shame to the whole family."

"That's my girl," Tavish said.

"Think how I feel. My grandbaby is gettin' married. I really am old," Colleen said. Alice had seen this blue cocktail dress many times over the years. She'd seen just as many variations of Spy's classic suit. In this, they were timeless, a couple of class that remained unphased by trends.

"You're just as young as the day I met you, ma chérie," Spy murmured.

"Hey, I wasn't the first grandchild to get married," Alice said.

"But you're my youngest boy's grandbaby. Imagine how I'll feel when it's Marie who's givin' me grandbabies." Colleen shook her head.

Marie grimaced in disgust. "You'll be waiting a long time for that, mother."

"You say that, but my Spy tells me you're off dacin' with a boy at some big fancy ball?" Colleen lifted one perfectly shaped brow.

"It was just a dance," Marie said.

Before Alice could comment further, Phila rushed forward to give Alice a hug. Colleen, Spy and Marie disappeared into the crowd, as spies were wont to do.

"Your dress was really pretty, Alice. I can't believe you're married already. Does this mean I have to call you Mrs. Doe now?" For once, Phila was out of her hazmat suit and gas mask. There were little surprises. No secret wings, burn marks capable of turning her into a masked singing teacher beneath a school, or horns.

"I don't get that whole Mrs. Guy thing. It's like, I didn't become a female version of him? I'm not losing me," she said.

"Yeah, it's bullshit," Liam said. He stepped forward, a Ritz cracker with brie in hand. It disappeared in two bites.

"Sure thing, Mr. Pauling," Jane said.

"Damn it, Jane, you've known me for friggin' forty years now, you---"

Noah stepped between them, just as Jane had started reaching with his neck-snapping grip, that Liam had been on the receiving end of more than once.

"Nice block," Alice mouthed.

Jane peered around his son. "I hope you're ready to punch bears, because we're going to Siberia!"

"Honeymooning in Siberia?" Alice said. She couldn't quite hide her dismay.

"Father means after the honeymoon," Noah said.

Zhanna looked over her appraisingly. "I will teach you holds. You are part Doe now, you need to know your neck snaps."

"Thanks uh---" Alice racked her brain, trying to think of what to call her.

"Zhanna is fine," she said.

Zhanna now had gray streaking through her dark hair. Unlike Sophia, she'd done nothing to stop the aging process. Her gaze was just as intense, even scary, as ever.

"Don't forget to pack your warmest coats!" Jane said.

Sophia stepped forward. All through the wedding, the now joined families had avoided her. Now, she lifted her chin, and considered her in-laws.

"I do not like you," Zhanna said.

"You've made that abundantly clear, all over a stupid grudge that happened decades ago, and you completely misunderstood anyways," Sophia snapped.

"But--" Zhanna spoke over her, her dark eyes flashing "We are now family, whether we like it or not. I will be civil, but I will not tolerate another word about my husband."

"Then respect my husband," Sophia said.

"Soph, baby steps," Liam said. He wrapped his arms about her, and started to pull her out of reach of the Doe family.

"I am thankful every day he turned me down. I respect him for that," Zhanna said.

"Me too," Liam said.

She brought this up often, not merely to make both Liam and Sophia squirm, and rub salt in the wound, but a true point of relief. From what she'd seen of Noah's life, Jane and Zhanna were just as blissfully happy in their own way as her parents had been. And considering that Victoriya had been born nine months after they'd met during the Robot wars, things could've been very different.

Mikhail stepped ahead and touched his sister's shoulder. "Weddings are times to bury old grudges," he said.

"This is as civil as I get, brother," Zhanna said.

Erich had been kind enough to provide doves. Erich's hair was more at the temples, but he remained somewhat timeless in a way which probably involved organ transplants and semi-illegal activities.

"I'm sure someone owes money," Erich said brightly.

Mikhail nodded. "As I said, warring clans always marry."

"Yes, it is the way of history," Erich said. He stroked the dove held in his palm.

"It's time to toss the bouquet," Sophia said.

"Oh, I forgot. I got this."

Alice wound up like she was tossing a baseball, and launched the bouquet of small white flowers into the crowd. Several women tried to catch it, but it sailed straight over her head. It landed straight in Johanna's lap. She almost spilled her root beer in shock.

"You're next!" Alice called from. Vera broke into laughter.

Johanna lifted the bouquet as if it were a ticking time bomb.

Saburou smiled, and leaned in closer to her. "How fortuitous," he said.

She blushed. "You would say that."

Alice lifted up her arm in a cheer. "Woohoo! Strikeout for Dempsey!" She winked and made two peace signs.

"Wasn't there something with garters?" Noah said.

"Oh, they were too fun to shoot around, and I accidentally made them all saggy," Alice said. Before she could say more, Liam reached for her arms.

"C'mon, I call dibs on the first dance. It's time for the most awesome father and daugther dance this world has ever seen," Liam said.

He led her to the dance floor. The slow waltz started. Liam tried, but after a short yawn, he lifted his arm to catch the sight of who was manning the boombox.

"This dancin' is puttin' me to sleep. Hey, put on a real classic!"

It's Not Unusual came on. They started up, arms waving in perfect synchronization. Alice giggled, her hips bumped into Liam's.

"C'mon, Soph! We'll make this a whole family dance!"

"Then, we can call Noah up, too?" Alice said eagerly.

"Can an egghead like him even dance?" Liam said skeptically.

"Yeah!" Alice beamed.

"Look at that smile," Liam said. He shook his head. "Maybe I'll start to like any guy who makes you smile like that."

"I knew you'd come around!"

"I said maybe. Right now I still kind of hate him," Liam said.

Alice launched herself at her father, giving him a hug so big that he nearly fell over.

"Whoa, whoa, what's all this about?"

"Because you're going to like Noah eventually. I know you will."

"Does this mean Zhanna and Jane are going to be coming to dance, too?" Alice said thoughtfully.

"Peanut, we're doin' so good on the not killin' each other thing. Let's not press our luck," Liam said.

Sophia and Noah joined them on the floor. Alice always knew it'd be Tom Jones serenading at her wedding. It was only right.

*

Alice was all too glad she'd peeled off her dress so early, considering that she'd spilled cake and grape juice--the closest thing they got to wine--down the front of her shirt. there was also some orange handprint marks on her, though these were Noah's doing, not her.

Alice peered out the window of the limo. She kicked up her heels, unable to keep still with all the excess energy of the day.

"It's weird, it doesn't feel much different," Alice said. "But then, I was already pretty happy, so more of the same is good."

She'd ridden in plenty of limos over the years, though they'd never lost their luster.

"Did you think there would be a trumpet from the heavens?" Noah said.

"Everyone made such a big deal about it, but we're married now!" She leaned against him and sighed happily.

"That we are," Noah said.

"Dempsey-Doe," Alice said. She tested the words. "It sounds like a children's book. And Dempsey, the Doe, a female deer went on to meet the little Noah Bear..."

"Fitting," Noah said.

"Heh, yeah. Well, Bear boy, I finally married you. Does this mean I'm your honey?" Alice laughed at this.

"Among other things, yes," Noah said. He leaned down to kiss her, and then there was no more talking.