fic: Viva Hate
Apr. 12th, 2013 02:10 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
bonnefoisTitle: Viva Hate
Series: 9 Persons 9 Hours 9 Doors
Pairing: Aoi, Junpei, Akane
Rating: PG-13
Word count: 717
Author's note:![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
hc_bingo: Telepathic trauma. Spoilers everywhere, I'm not kidding.
Part of a package forkiu22.
It feels like a companion piece to Break, Breaking, Broken
Title from a Morrissey album.
She fell to the floor, her face turning red in fever. Junpei was the one to catch her, Junpei was the one to comfort her as everyone came around. He couldn't risk being seen too close to her, couldn't risk to raise suspicion, and so Aoi had to simply watch as Junpei comforted her like he wasn't the fucking reason she was in here in the first place. He had to clench his fists by his sides and just fucking stand there, feeling useless as ever. Like every other time he had to watch her break inside and know that somewhere she was hurting and he couldn't punch down the walls and get to her.
He always swore he'd protect her, but in the end, he couldn't protect her from herself. He could only watch Akane fade into Zero, watch the innocent girl who believed in everyone and loved him so damn much left in pieces. It was even worse watching her now, watching her put on Kanny as a mask, to see the hints of the girl she could've been if 'Ace' hadn't decided to wreck their lives for the sake of some stupid test. When she smiled, he honestly couldn't help but wonder if there wasn't a hint of reality to it, if a part of her was still wrapped up in that idiot Junpei as she had been when she was younger.
In the end, it was easier to blame Junpei. Sure, he had plenty of hate to spare for old man 'Ace,' but Junpei was nearer, Junpei was unprotected. If he hadn't given her that toy, she wouldn't have stopped. If he hadn't been around, maybe they would've moved on before they were found. Maybe, maybe, maybe. His life was maybes and what-ifs, all possibilities of trying to pinpoint the one thread to make this impossibility of making her survive come true.
He let his mind drift to the thought of bruising up the face which haunted Akane's dreams. Maybe if he hit Junpei hard enough, the ache inside him would go away. Screw idealism, screw forgiveness. Give him some old fashioned violence any day. If life had taught him anything, it was that all that hope and faith and charity stuff was nothing but bullshit. Life would fuck you over, the best you could do was sink your fingers in and push back.
"Don't mess up this time, you asshole. She doesn't need to be hurt anymore," Aoi muttered.
In the commotion, no one heard him. They pulled Akane up, fussed over her. Even Ace, of all people, pretending to care like he wasn't the one who put her in this situation in the first place. Junpei held tight to her, protective and like he could do a damn thing, like he knew what she had been through.
It was enough to make Aoi sick.
But Junpei was integral, or so she kept saying. When she said his name, her eyes grew a little less dead. When she said his name, he saw bits of Kanny, and it tore him up inside to keep seeing the ghost of a dead girl.
Even if this whole scheme finally panned out and she lived, Akane had long ago turned to Zero, the leader who wouldn't blink an eye at kidnapping and judging, who wouldn't hesitate to bring retribution. Even as he saw hints of his sister worn like a disguise, he knew they were just memories scrambled together, another manipulation to get them through another try of this twisted game neither could seem to escape.
There was no trace of the girl who had looked up at him and called him her Santa Claus, just the black shell of a mask and the pieces of a broken reality, a broken life, and a new mask with an old, innocent face.
When he said his sister was dead, he wasn't lying.
Series: 9 Persons 9 Hours 9 Doors
Pairing: Aoi, Junpei, Akane
Rating: PG-13
Word count: 717
Author's note:
hc_bingo: Telepathic trauma. Spoilers everywhere, I'm not kidding.Part of a package for
kiu22.It feels like a companion piece to Break, Breaking, Broken
Title from a Morrissey album.
She fell to the floor, her face turning red in fever. Junpei was the one to catch her, Junpei was the one to comfort her as everyone came around. He couldn't risk being seen too close to her, couldn't risk to raise suspicion, and so Aoi had to simply watch as Junpei comforted her like he wasn't the fucking reason she was in here in the first place. He had to clench his fists by his sides and just fucking stand there, feeling useless as ever. Like every other time he had to watch her break inside and know that somewhere she was hurting and he couldn't punch down the walls and get to her.
He always swore he'd protect her, but in the end, he couldn't protect her from herself. He could only watch Akane fade into Zero, watch the innocent girl who believed in everyone and loved him so damn much left in pieces. It was even worse watching her now, watching her put on Kanny as a mask, to see the hints of the girl she could've been if 'Ace' hadn't decided to wreck their lives for the sake of some stupid test. When she smiled, he honestly couldn't help but wonder if there wasn't a hint of reality to it, if a part of her was still wrapped up in that idiot Junpei as she had been when she was younger.
In the end, it was easier to blame Junpei. Sure, he had plenty of hate to spare for old man 'Ace,' but Junpei was nearer, Junpei was unprotected. If he hadn't given her that toy, she wouldn't have stopped. If he hadn't been around, maybe they would've moved on before they were found. Maybe, maybe, maybe. His life was maybes and what-ifs, all possibilities of trying to pinpoint the one thread to make this impossibility of making her survive come true.
He let his mind drift to the thought of bruising up the face which haunted Akane's dreams. Maybe if he hit Junpei hard enough, the ache inside him would go away. Screw idealism, screw forgiveness. Give him some old fashioned violence any day. If life had taught him anything, it was that all that hope and faith and charity stuff was nothing but bullshit. Life would fuck you over, the best you could do was sink your fingers in and push back.
"Don't mess up this time, you asshole. She doesn't need to be hurt anymore," Aoi muttered.
In the commotion, no one heard him. They pulled Akane up, fussed over her. Even Ace, of all people, pretending to care like he wasn't the one who put her in this situation in the first place. Junpei held tight to her, protective and like he could do a damn thing, like he knew what she had been through.
It was enough to make Aoi sick.
But Junpei was integral, or so she kept saying. When she said his name, her eyes grew a little less dead. When she said his name, he saw bits of Kanny, and it tore him up inside to keep seeing the ghost of a dead girl.
Even if this whole scheme finally panned out and she lived, Akane had long ago turned to Zero, the leader who wouldn't blink an eye at kidnapping and judging, who wouldn't hesitate to bring retribution. Even as he saw hints of his sister worn like a disguise, he knew they were just memories scrambled together, another manipulation to get them through another try of this twisted game neither could seem to escape.
There was no trace of the girl who had looked up at him and called him her Santa Claus, just the black shell of a mask and the pieces of a broken reality, a broken life, and a new mask with an old, innocent face.
When he said his sister was dead, he wasn't lying.
