fic: Green-Eyed Monsters
May. 18th, 2011 04:57 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
bonnefoisTitle: Green-Eyed Monsters
Series: Hanakimi
Character/Pairing: Akiha/Umeda
Rating: PG-13
Word count: 1375
Author's note: formisura on thepurpledove. Thanks to Joss for the betaing.
*
Umeda wasn't jealous. The thought that he could be going green-eyed monster over his idiot tenant who family claimed was his boyfriend verging on husband-slash-soulmate was, quite frankly, absurd. But lately, the idiot was busy with work and the bitchy model with flowing gold locks. Someone who could out-bitch him, even on a particularly trying day when he was about ready to flip a table at anyone who came through his door. Not that Umeda particularly cared. The idiot could run off with that prissy little bitch of a model and Umeda wouldn't care a bit. Really, it wasn't like he'd miss having his back rubbed after a long day at work, or having warm food waiting, like Akiha was some kind of fucking housewife. Cold takeout was fine for him. He wouldn't miss the fantastic, toe-curling sex either.
Ok, he'd miss that a little.
But only a little.
*
Every day Akiha worked a little later. Umeda came home to an empty apartment, without the faint radio hum from the kitchen, with no super sentai show paused in the middle of a tense battle scene set to upbeat music. There wasn't even a call or a note. Tonight it would be just his hand, considering that his vibrator was out of batteries, and with the idiot around, he never had much of a reason to get more.
Everything was quiet. So damn quiet. Umeda should've been pleased, but he wasn't. Here he was, having everything he'd been bitching about for months: peace and quiet, a lack of the idiot irritating him, and time to himself.
And he was completely miserable about it. Umeda settled into a nice brood, smoking cigarette after cigarette and stubbing them violently into the ashtray. He flipped open the phone and grumbled when there were no messages except one from Io which he deleted without reading. Right below it was another text from Io. He was about to push the delete button again, but something within him made him read it.
Now that you've done deleting the other one without reading it like I know you will, let me repeat myself. Mother's worried. Call her.
Sometimes he wondered if Io was psychic or just psycho. He figured her for the latter.
He was really not in the mood to deal with his family right now. However, if he didn't call, he'd probably wake up to cold water being poured on him by a family member before they kicked him out of bed and for family bonding.
*
Umeda reached to his pocket for a cigarette, but found that his mother had confiscated it. He glowered up at her, but she just shook her head.
"No cigarettes in the house, Hokuto!" She admonished. "You know I don't like you smoking..."
Which was exactly why he did it. The calm wasn't half bad, as well as the excuse to get away from stupid people. And to blow smoke in their face, if he had the chance.
"I think Akiha might be lured away," Seira said, her voice low, like someone might overhear them.
Io nodded. "Has the sex tapered off? That's the first sign."
If Umeda had been smoking, he probably would've choked on it. He generally flaunted his sex life to annoy his family, but it just backfired and had them trying to get him to adopt or find a surrogate and adopting the idiot who was in no way, his boyfriend.
Only in his family could such crazy interventions happen.
"First, he isn't my boyfriend. Second, there is nothing wrong with my sex life," Umeda said.
"Of course he isn't," Io said. "He just shares your house, makes you dinner and sleeps with you. He sounds more like a husband at this rate."
Seira and Io shared a laugh at this.
Umeda really needed a cigarette.
"I am not having this conversation," Umeda said. He made to get up, but Io stood in front of him, and glared him down with that psycho sister bitch, don't mess with me glare. Umeda sat back down. He'd seen that glare enough in his childhood to know he wasn't going to win this one.
"I've been through a marriage already," Io said. "And Akiha is the most devoted man I've ever seen. He's handsome, he's kind–I don't know what your problem is, but he isn't perfect. Maybe he got tired of being called 'the idiot roommate' and decided to find someone else." She gave him a stern look at that.
Umeda fell quiet at that. Maybe Akiha had a type–he just liked them bitchy, and all Umeda had going for him was nostalgia and first love. He wouldn't be surprised if the idiot's love had limits.
Most people were full of it when it came to love.
Not that it particularly mattered, anyways. He wouldn't miss him. Right now it was just withdrawal from sex and good food–nothing more, nothing less.
"If he is, then good riddance," Umeda said. He got up, and not even Io's glare could stop him from grabbing the pack from his mother's predictable hiding spots. He walked out outside and lit up, feeling the sweet calm as he breathed in the smoke.
From outside, he could hear his sister and mother still talking. They were as loud as ever. Io was angry, his mother was distraught.
"I can't believe that Akiha-chan and Hokuto-chan might be breaking up," Seira said. She looked on the verge of tears. "They had such a fairytale romance–just like Azupapa and me!"
Is that what they call it these days? he thought.
*
Akiha didn't come home at all that night. Umeda smoked cigarette after cigarette, sullenly channel surfing. He kept being haunted by images of the bitchy model and the idiot frolicking on sunny beaches together. It was only dragging his mood down even more, if that was possible.
He was irritated that he was irritated, annoyed that it came to him wanting to have the idiot around. He flipped off the TV and threw down the remote, annoyed that it'd come to this–that he was thinking of sleeping with someone else as cheating on both of their accounts, that he couldn't even go out clubbing and pick up some new man to replace him without feeling almost a twinge of guilt.
*
The idiot came in late the next day. Umeda had gone out to eat, but it'd been expensive and the food had been bland.
The idiot looked tired, but happy. Then again, he looked happy most of the time, so who could tell if it was post-coital bliss and soreness or him just being his idiot self.
He leaned down and pressed a kiss to Umeda's cheek. Umeda pushed him away, less outraged than sullen and tired.
"Phew, it was a hard couple of weeks, but I'm finally done. The shots came out well," the idiot said, with a bright smile.
"I'm sure it was," Umeda said techily.
"How were you, Senpai?" The idiot asked.
"Just fine," Umeda said with irritation. "Not that I particularly care, but how was your time with the whore of Babylon?"
Akiha blinked. "I thought you got along with Ebi. You never said anything bad about her before."
"She's okay, I guess," Umeda conceded. "This isn't about her, though."
The thing about the idiot was that he was more than a little perceptive. After a moment's pause, his face brightened.
"Senpai is jealous~"
Umeda sputtered and the ever-present cigarette fell from his lips.
"I didn't say that!"
Akiha threw his arms around Umeda in a tight embrace. This offset his balance and they tumbled to the couch together.
"Urgh! Getoff–!"
"Senpai loves me~~~~"
"I do not!" He said gruffly. Akiha was too busy nuzzling him to notice or care, apparently.
"Don't worry, Senpai! I'll never love anyone else more than I love you!" Akiha said.
Umeda grumbled something indiscernible. He had a feeling that he was never, ever going to be rid of the idiot now–not that his chances were too great before, but this sealed the deal.
*
Series: Hanakimi
Character/Pairing: Akiha/Umeda
Rating: PG-13
Word count: 1375
Author's note: for
misura on thepurpledove. Thanks to Joss for the betaing.*
Umeda wasn't jealous. The thought that he could be going green-eyed monster over his idiot tenant who family claimed was his boyfriend verging on husband-slash-soulmate was, quite frankly, absurd. But lately, the idiot was busy with work and the bitchy model with flowing gold locks. Someone who could out-bitch him, even on a particularly trying day when he was about ready to flip a table at anyone who came through his door. Not that Umeda particularly cared. The idiot could run off with that prissy little bitch of a model and Umeda wouldn't care a bit. Really, it wasn't like he'd miss having his back rubbed after a long day at work, or having warm food waiting, like Akiha was some kind of fucking housewife. Cold takeout was fine for him. He wouldn't miss the fantastic, toe-curling sex either.
Ok, he'd miss that a little.
But only a little.
*
Every day Akiha worked a little later. Umeda came home to an empty apartment, without the faint radio hum from the kitchen, with no super sentai show paused in the middle of a tense battle scene set to upbeat music. There wasn't even a call or a note. Tonight it would be just his hand, considering that his vibrator was out of batteries, and with the idiot around, he never had much of a reason to get more.
Everything was quiet. So damn quiet. Umeda should've been pleased, but he wasn't. Here he was, having everything he'd been bitching about for months: peace and quiet, a lack of the idiot irritating him, and time to himself.
And he was completely miserable about it. Umeda settled into a nice brood, smoking cigarette after cigarette and stubbing them violently into the ashtray. He flipped open the phone and grumbled when there were no messages except one from Io which he deleted without reading. Right below it was another text from Io. He was about to push the delete button again, but something within him made him read it.
Now that you've done deleting the other one without reading it like I know you will, let me repeat myself. Mother's worried. Call her.
Sometimes he wondered if Io was psychic or just psycho. He figured her for the latter.
He was really not in the mood to deal with his family right now. However, if he didn't call, he'd probably wake up to cold water being poured on him by a family member before they kicked him out of bed and for family bonding.
*
Umeda reached to his pocket for a cigarette, but found that his mother had confiscated it. He glowered up at her, but she just shook her head.
"No cigarettes in the house, Hokuto!" She admonished. "You know I don't like you smoking..."
Which was exactly why he did it. The calm wasn't half bad, as well as the excuse to get away from stupid people. And to blow smoke in their face, if he had the chance.
"I think Akiha might be lured away," Seira said, her voice low, like someone might overhear them.
Io nodded. "Has the sex tapered off? That's the first sign."
If Umeda had been smoking, he probably would've choked on it. He generally flaunted his sex life to annoy his family, but it just backfired and had them trying to get him to adopt or find a surrogate and adopting the idiot who was in no way, his boyfriend.
Only in his family could such crazy interventions happen.
"First, he isn't my boyfriend. Second, there is nothing wrong with my sex life," Umeda said.
"Of course he isn't," Io said. "He just shares your house, makes you dinner and sleeps with you. He sounds more like a husband at this rate."
Seira and Io shared a laugh at this.
Umeda really needed a cigarette.
"I am not having this conversation," Umeda said. He made to get up, but Io stood in front of him, and glared him down with that psycho sister bitch, don't mess with me glare. Umeda sat back down. He'd seen that glare enough in his childhood to know he wasn't going to win this one.
"I've been through a marriage already," Io said. "And Akiha is the most devoted man I've ever seen. He's handsome, he's kind–I don't know what your problem is, but he isn't perfect. Maybe he got tired of being called 'the idiot roommate' and decided to find someone else." She gave him a stern look at that.
Umeda fell quiet at that. Maybe Akiha had a type–he just liked them bitchy, and all Umeda had going for him was nostalgia and first love. He wouldn't be surprised if the idiot's love had limits.
Most people were full of it when it came to love.
Not that it particularly mattered, anyways. He wouldn't miss him. Right now it was just withdrawal from sex and good food–nothing more, nothing less.
"If he is, then good riddance," Umeda said. He got up, and not even Io's glare could stop him from grabbing the pack from his mother's predictable hiding spots. He walked out outside and lit up, feeling the sweet calm as he breathed in the smoke.
From outside, he could hear his sister and mother still talking. They were as loud as ever. Io was angry, his mother was distraught.
"I can't believe that Akiha-chan and Hokuto-chan might be breaking up," Seira said. She looked on the verge of tears. "They had such a fairytale romance–just like Azupapa and me!"
Is that what they call it these days? he thought.
*
Akiha didn't come home at all that night. Umeda smoked cigarette after cigarette, sullenly channel surfing. He kept being haunted by images of the bitchy model and the idiot frolicking on sunny beaches together. It was only dragging his mood down even more, if that was possible.
He was irritated that he was irritated, annoyed that it came to him wanting to have the idiot around. He flipped off the TV and threw down the remote, annoyed that it'd come to this–that he was thinking of sleeping with someone else as cheating on both of their accounts, that he couldn't even go out clubbing and pick up some new man to replace him without feeling almost a twinge of guilt.
*
The idiot came in late the next day. Umeda had gone out to eat, but it'd been expensive and the food had been bland.
The idiot looked tired, but happy. Then again, he looked happy most of the time, so who could tell if it was post-coital bliss and soreness or him just being his idiot self.
He leaned down and pressed a kiss to Umeda's cheek. Umeda pushed him away, less outraged than sullen and tired.
"Phew, it was a hard couple of weeks, but I'm finally done. The shots came out well," the idiot said, with a bright smile.
"I'm sure it was," Umeda said techily.
"How were you, Senpai?" The idiot asked.
"Just fine," Umeda said with irritation. "Not that I particularly care, but how was your time with the whore of Babylon?"
Akiha blinked. "I thought you got along with Ebi. You never said anything bad about her before."
"She's okay, I guess," Umeda conceded. "This isn't about her, though."
The thing about the idiot was that he was more than a little perceptive. After a moment's pause, his face brightened.
"Senpai is jealous~"
Umeda sputtered and the ever-present cigarette fell from his lips.
"I didn't say that!"
Akiha threw his arms around Umeda in a tight embrace. This offset his balance and they tumbled to the couch together.
"Urgh! Getoff–!"
"Senpai loves me~~~~"
"I do not!" He said gruffly. Akiha was too busy nuzzling him to notice or care, apparently.
"Don't worry, Senpai! I'll never love anyone else more than I love you!" Akiha said.
Umeda grumbled something indiscernible. He had a feeling that he was never, ever going to be rid of the idiot now–not that his chances were too great before, but this sealed the deal.
*
