fic: Possible Side Effects

[bonnefois]

Title: Possible Side Effects
Author/Artist: measuringlife
Requestor: ann89103
Fandom: Tenipuri
Pairing: Tezuka/Fuji. Hints of Oishi/Eiji, Hyoutei/Atobe, Shishido/Ohtori, Rikkaidai/Yukimura (especially Sanada/Yukimura) and Inui/Kaidoh.
Rating: PG-13
Wordcount: 2017
Warnings: Crack! Thematic Juice related strangeness.
Summary: Inui's new Juice has some interesting side effects. Fuji, being the kind sort that he is, thinks it's only right they share the Juice with other teams and catch the results on film. For the sake of science and all. Inui concurs.
Disclaimer: not even remotely mine.
A/N: done for the theme: Tezuka/Fuji Tezuka is a man of few words, and thinks before he acts... but after drinking Inui's latest juice, that all changes. Fuji reaps the benefits.



Most of Seigaku happened to be out the day Inui brought in his latest concoction. This supposedly incident in nature, as Inui had not given them any warning. Fuji wondered if deep down they had known, like the instinctual way animals know of approaching disasters, or the unexplainable feeling in one's stomach.

As it was, Fuji slurped down a glass just to say how delicious it was. He didn't even have a reason to be punished, and had taken the juice willingly. As always, he experienced none of the side effects. However, when it was Eiji's turn, after a few missed balls, the result was a mite bit different. Fuji expected gagging, and overdramatics, as Eiji was prone to. What he got was far more amusing.

"It's so hot....Oishi, I'm hot!" Eiji wailed. He began tearing at his clothes, and then making an almost mewling sound. He was flushed, and gasping. When Oishi came to him, worriedly asking if he was alright, Eiji grinded against him and moaned.

"Oh, Oishi...."

Fuji grinned. Well, you certainly didn't see that every day. In a concerned gesture, he pulled Eiji off to the showers to cool him off.

He was somewhat disappointed when Kaidoh played his game perfectly – perhaps to avoid the juice. It would have been amusing to watch him meow. He had to think that Inui felt the same, or even more strongly about this.

Ryoma was absent, as was Momo, but Tezuka had been there. And by some chance of fate, Tezuka missed this exchange. All the better.

"Thirsty, Tezuka?" Fuji said. He held out a glass of juice.

"I'll pass," Tezuka said dryly.

"What a shame," Fuji said. "It's really good."

He took a long drink, as if to punctuate his point. He licked the traces of the pink juice from his lips.

"So good, in fact, that I had to have seconds," Fuji said, his voice turning seductive and low.

"Would you want seconds, Tezuka?"

Inui was already behind him, smiling the sort of smile killers in horror movies have before they gut their victims. The light glimmered off of his glasses.

Tezuka looked from one to the other. He lingered especially long on Fuji. Finally, he took it, but it seemed less a bending to their own will, than choosing to do it of his own accord for his own reasons. He drank it down in one swift gulp. For a long moment, Tezuka merely sat, stone still. The glass was still in his hands.

"Tezuka? Are you all right?" Fuji asked.

"F-Fuji...." Tezuka's voice took on an agonized edge.

Fuji leaned up to feel his forehead. "You do feel hot."

"What I'm trying to say is...you're– you're–"

"Ich Liebe – aishi– you–"

"What?" Fuji said.

He grabbed Fuji and kissed him roughly. Fuji's eyes were wide as his gasp turned into Tezuka making the kiss open mouthed, sloppy and with lots of tongue.

"Interesting..." Inui said. He furiously scribbled the fascinating new data as Tezuka's hands wandered.

Tezuka lead Fuji to a wall for more leverage, and now eagerly kissed his neck.

"I have been trying to get him to do that for three years," Fuji said. He groaned as Tezuka pushed his loose jersey down enough to bite at his chest.

"Oh Tezuka, I knew there was something passionate about you...I didn't think it'd take juice to bring it out."

"The effects are unprecedented," Inui said. He looked back over the recipe, but Fuji knew he was still peering at them over his book.

"I think in the interest of science, we should share it with other teams," Fuji said conversationally to Inui. Tezuka had his hand already up Fuji's jersey, and yet Fuji was completely calm, as if he weren't being publicly felt up by their usually stoic buchou.

"St Rudolph?" Inui suggested.

Fuji's lip curled. The thought of his brother acting like Eiji just had was unacceptable. It made him want to murder someone, and then hide the body somewhere, possibly with Inui's help. Despite the promising career as a prison bitch, Fuji thought other teams were more in need of their attention.

"Not a chance," he said tersely. "Especially when we owe Rikkaidai and Hyoutei a favor."

Inui grinned. The sun glinted off his glasses menacingly. Fuji grinned. Tezuka got to second base.

Somewhere, not far off, the Ichinin clung to each other in fear. They were sure that they would be traumatized for life.

*

Spiking the water supply wasn't exactly hard. Hyoutei's water supply game from a gilded fountain surely made entirely from the purest mountain spring water that had been blessed by monks. They did not drink from mere sports bottles but crystal cups which were held by butlers, at least one of which was named 'Jeeves'.

So now all there was to do was wait. And soon enough, the members – all two hundred of them – were having their personal butlers wipe the glistening sweat from their regal foreheads and sipping at sparkling water.

What happened next was unprecedented. Both Fuji and Inui grinned with maniac glee as the moans, the displaced clothing and the chaos that ensued.

Tezuka was too busy finding creative new uses for his mouth to notice.


*


"Shishido-san, I'm sorry for making us late," Ohtori said. He was limping slightly from their extended training session.

"Don't mention it, Choutarou," Shishido said.

However the site that greeted them was anything but ordinary. Atobe lay on a chaise in nothing but a gold thong, while the rest of Hyoutei – and not just the regulars, either, hundreds of them – surrounded him. They fanned him, massaged him, fed him, and rubbed against him like an affectionate cat who also happened to be in heat.

They all wore gold thongs, or gold hot pants. Their bodies glistened with oil.

"Ah, ore-sama is finally getting the recognition he deserves," Atobe sighed in contentment. "Now if only Tezuka and Sanada and that brat Ryoma would come....Fuji and Yukimura too. They are worthy of joining Ore-sama's harem. Right, Kabaji?"

"Usu."

Ohtori and Shishido could only just stare at the sight before them. Each of them rubbed their eyes several times, and then pinched their arms for good measure. The mirage, hallucination whatever it was did not go away.

"....maybe we should come back later," Ohtori said. "They seem uh...busy."

"That might be a good idea," Shishido said.

From somewhere in the perfectly trimmed hedges, Inui furiously wrote down notes while Fuji snapped picture after picture. This was excellent blackmail material. Tezuka whispered sweet nothings, and got ever closer to getting to third base.


*

Rikkaidai was a little harder, as they used actual conventional things like sports bottles, and did not have a fountain. Still, Inui and Fuji together managed the feat. Tezuka had stayed behind, and Fuji came back to the pleasant realization that while they were gone, Tezuka had begun to remove his clothes. Thinking back to Eiji, he thought it another side effect.

Fuji approved heartily of these side effects, and snapped several pictures. Inui found this new data fascinating.

*

Yukimura came down the row in lace-up leather boots and a look of silken vengeance. He patted the riding crop to his hand, looking over his bent regulars. he wore a leather corset, while the rest of them wore intricate combinations of leather harnesses and ball gags. Their hands were tied behind their backs.

"You have all been bad, bad, bad regulars," he said, his voice a seductive rasp. "You will all need to be severely punished..."

"Please Yukimura, punish me," Sanada begged. "I was very bad."

"Silence! You'll all get punished eventually. Wait your turn, or I'll punish you especially hard, Sanada."

Sanada nodded, attempting the stoic, but his squirming was evident. Yukimura cracked the whip against tender skin. He shrieked in a cry mixed with pain and pleasure. From the bushes, Fuji and Inui eagerly recorded this, while Tezuka gave Fuji a number of hickeys.

*

It was near dark by the time they came back to Seigaku. The juice still had yet to phase out with Tezuka, though at times Fuji thought he must be returning to his old self. Then Tezuka would attempt to put his hands in Fuji's pants, and Fuji would realize that the juice was still in full force.

"You did keep a copy of this formula, right?" Fuji asked, as they neared the darkening courts.

"I've already memorized this recipe and intend to make good use of it at least annually," Inui replied.

"Good. Mind if I have a copy?"

"You know I can't do that, Fuji," Inui said.

Fuji sighed dramatically. "It was worth a try."

Fuji smiled up at Tezuka, who was desperately nuzzling against him, and gasping his name. "I'm at my limit...I suppose I've teased him enough. See you tomorrow, Inui."

Inui nodded.

Fuji giggled as he left off to someplace he and Tezuka could be alone.

*

Tezuka woke up with a strange feeling. It was something like being hungover – though he was far too straightlaced to ever have actually been hungover. His body was sore, as if he had trained for hours on end. He stretched and found unfamiliar contentment which training, while satisfying, had never given him. He searched for his glasses on the bedstand and found them.

"Ah, you're finally awake," Fuji said. He leaned on one elbow. Tezuka noted mentally that Fuji was naked. He also noted that this did not bother him, even if logically it should have.

"What happened?" Tezuka said tersely.

"Oho? You don't remember? You said a lot of things, and even more things with your body."

Fuji's body was covered in bruises. Love bites, hickeys, outright bruises from difference in size in strength, and yet he had never seemed happier. Tezuka could only imagine what he must look like.

"I see you need a refresher," Fuji said.

He removed the glasses, and pulled Tezuka to him. And between them, whispers and moaned Tezuka remembered everything that had passed between them. And even if it had been wild, impulsive Tezuka did not regret this, nor deny it.

Through the dim light, he saw Fuji's cerulean eyes, mysterious and luring him deeper. And even as he thought of the sheer amount of laps he was going to deal out later, he thought almost of thanking Inui for his...intervention.

Of course, however, being as it was Tezuka, those thanks would go on being silent.

But he figured that Inui would understand the sentiment despite it all.

*

The next morning, the other teams woke up in very strange circumstances. The attempts to brush it off as a strange dream costume party was broken by finding certain incriminating pictures posted on the public bulletin boards.

And so, several screams of Seigaku! rose up in the morning air, as vengeance was sworn both on and off the tennis court.

*

When Inui came to his locker the next day, he found a small bag. Inside were a pair of cat ears and a tail – the kind that required ah insertion to complete the effect. A thank you note was included, signed in Fuji's neat, elegant hand.

This partnership with Fuji had proved to be fulfilling and quite rewarding. Inui made a mental note to continue the partnership – right after he introduced Kaidoh to the new gift....