fic: A Day Late And A Dollar Short
Jul. 22nd, 2022 01:01 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
bonnefoisTitle: A Day Late And A Dollar Short
Series: Ace Attorney
Character/Pairing: Nahyuta/Ema, Maggey/Gumshoe
Rating: PG at most
Word count: 2306
Summary: At some point, Gumshoe's salary gets cut so much that he gets bills instead of pay stubs.
Author's note:
I was just browsing reddit and this comment stuck out to me:
"I like to believe that Gumshoe started receiving bills instead of paychecks at some point in his career"
Not my comment. I just laughed so hard I couldn't help but write it.
Also, I couldn't resist using this shitpost I made ages ago
Happy birthday, Kiu.
"You lost your job again?" Gumshoe's massive shoulders drooped.
Maggey nodded sadly. "The third murder in a row and when the walls started leaking blood was the last straw. They're doing an exorcism now that I've left, too...They're convinced I cursed the place."
She tried to smile.
"But that's okay, Gumshoe. You can pay rent until I get a new job, right?"
"Actually..."
Gumshoe held up his paystub.
Maggey looked it over.
"What? This is a bill!"
"I got my salary cut so many times that it ended up like this."
"Aw, Gumshoe..."
"Sorry," he said.
She took a long breath and clenched her fist.
"We'll figure out a way."
"I'll get another job," Maggey said.
"Or that's what I would do, if they didn't put ofuda around to try and keep me out," Maggey said.
"I'm sure there's some place that will hire you," Gumshoe said.
Of course, how long she could actually keep the job would be another story entirely.
*
Detective Skye hadn't been around for quite some time since she'd gone off to work in Khura'in. Sure, she was cranky and moody, and prone to throwing snack foods at the slightest provocation, but he was glad to see her back.
Gumshoe was used to cranky coworkers, anyways. And she was good at her job.
She'd actually been in a lot better mood. Apparently she found the new prosecutor far more agreeable than Prosecutor Gavin.
They were just taking a short break when Prosecutor Sahdmadhi approached them.
He was a real flashy sort. Even more so than Prosecutor Gavin. Gumshoe still hadn't figured out how he got those cloth things to float. Did he have little fans hidden in his robes?
His hair probably took days to dry and brush and oil up, and he wore enough gold to probably set off every alarm in the airports.
"Detective Skye, I believe you were eating snacks in the lab room."
The one which was marked 'do not eat or bring your phone into' right on the door. Gumshoe felt for her. That'd have to be a hefty salary cut right there.
"And you yelled at Prosecutor Payne," Prosecutor Sahdmadhi continued one.
Wowee, there was another salary cut right there. Poor Detective Skye would be scrambling for rent at this rate. Maybe he could take her on as a roommate.
Gumshoe had a mental thought of going home to his matchbook sized apartment that he and Maggey could barely afford, and getting snack food thrown at him there for interrupting her beauty sleep. Ema Skye, new roommate probably wouldn't work.
(Though that would cut down food costs, he reasoned.)
But, Prosecutor Sahdmadhi smiled serenely.
"Then you must be hungry."
Prosecutor Sahdmadhi withdrew a bag of Snackoos from his bag.
"Now, if you are free, we must discuss the terms of your next raise."
Detective Skye clutched her cheek. "Another already? Wow!"
Prosecutor Sahdmadhi nodded serenely. "Yes, your work on the last case was exemplary and must be rewarded."
"Of course I'm free for you," Detective Skye said. Her voice had this breathless quality.
Gumshoe couldn't figure that one out. Detective Skye must be the luckiest woman in the world to get out of that and get a raise.
Either that or Prosecutor Sahdmadhi was the nicest guy to ever exist.
Maybe he'd switch (prosecutor) teams?
(Of course he wouldn't really abandone Prosecutor Edgeworth after all this time...but a guy could dream.)
*
He was so stunned by what he'd seen, that he ended up being late to take Chief Prosecutor's tea in..
Another salary cut right there.
At this rate, his salary/bill would be so high he could barely make rent.
*
"Gumshoe, I've got a new job!"
Maggey came into their tiny, barely bigger than a closet apartment. She waved high some kind of business card.
"You finally found one which will let you cross the threshold and not instantly call a priest to perform an exorcism?"
"Even better, there's no threshold to cross!"
"Huh? Where are you working?" Gumshoe said.
"Guy Eldoons!"
"The noodle guy? The one with noodles so salty they're like tears themselves?" Gumshoe said.
"The very same!" Maggey said cheerfully.
"Mr. Eldoon thinks my presence makes the noodles even saltier, and that my reputation will only help the noodle stand," she said proudly. "So I'm going to wear a noodle mascot and bring in customers."
"Wow, that's great! Because we need the money. Even more so now," Gumshoe said.
"Oh no, Gumshoe! You got another pay cut?"
Gumshoe nodded sadly. He explained the whole thing. At least he hadn't broken Prosecutor Edgeworth's tea set. Just imagine how much that would've ended up.
Now when his rent came, he'd have another bill. One for a salary cut so much that he had to pay up.
But, it was still better than working for Prosecutor Franziska--who'd take all those salary cuts out of his skin personally, with her whip.
Not everyone could be foul-mouthed, surly, and disagreeable and still get about a dozen raises a week, like Detective Skye.
"Cheer up, Gumshoe! You'd make a great mascot. There's another store hiring right near where I'll be working. We'll get you a big bear costume and have you selling sweets on your days off. In fact, I think they let you have free samples."
"That sounds ridiculous, pal," Gumshoe said.
"You'd look cute in a big blue bear outfit."
He needed the money. And if Maggey thought he'd be cute, well it couldn't be all that bad.
*
"Phew, I danced my heart out. But Guy Eldoon says I'm getting tons more customers with my 'Salty Salty Noodle' song," Maggey said.
"You on break now?"
"I guess all our breaks came together," Maggey said. She smiled.
And it was good to see her, and their other costumed coworker.
It was the three of them, like a children's band, sitting at the seating area among all the food trucks and stalls around. Gumshoe was in a big blue bear outfit, Mike Meekins as Pochi the Mochi, some sort of dog-mochi from the place down the way that sold the frozen rice cakes with ice cream inside, and Maggey wore a ramen bowl costume.
"It's been a while since I saw you, Mike. Life been treating you well?"
Mike's shoulders slumped. "I got fired. Then I got fired again, and again."
"I know how that feels," Maggey said sadly.
Mike continued on. "I had to move. And then I'm about to have to move again. My landlord keeps citing me for being too loud. I guess I'll pick up a cardboard box on the way out and move my things in..."
"That's rough, pal. Well, if Maggey says it's all right, you could come be our roommate," Gumshoe said.
Their landlord just didn't care about anything. Noise, mess, or the leaky faucet that he refused to fix no matter how many complaints were put in. In fact, the guy was never around at all. So Mike could probably be as loud as he dang well wanted and any complaint would go ignored, just like all the other complaints anyone sent up.
Mike sniffled. "Really?"
"It's small, but it's not far from here. You okay with that, Maggey?"
"We could hang a sheet in the corner and get a cot for him. Then we'll be able to make rent," Maggey said.
"I'm saaaaaved! I promise I'll keep my room NICE and TIDY!" He gave a salute, hearkening back to his old days before he got fired.
"Great, Pal!"
"And I'll dooo dishesss! All of them!"
"Dishes?!" Gumshoe said.
He looked to Maggey. Both of them hated that clean up, even when all they ate was cheap ramen, because they couldn't afford much else.
"I'll sweeeep the floor! And everything!"
Tears streamed down his face now.
"I'm saaaaaaaaaved!"
Some customers came in. Gumshoe recognized their voices right away. Prosecutor Sahdmadhi had a gentle voice and unique accent which meant Gumshoe would recognize him anywhere.
"Oh, look at all these food stalls and trucks," Detective Skye said.
"We should. I'll pay," Prosecutor Sahdmadhi said.
"Really?"
Prosecutor Sahdmadhi closed his eyes and smiled. "Did you not read the fine print of the last raise? It includes a clause that I'm allowed to buy you as much food as you and I desire, for you are certainly worth it."
"Well, I'd never say no to free food," Detective Skye said.
She noticed him right away. She always was a sharp one, Detective Skye. Both in insight and her tongue.
"Wait, aren't you Detective Gumshoe? Why are you wearing a costume? Is this some new detective rule I'm not aware of?"
Gumshoe blushed, and it wasn't just because it was hot in this costume of the big blue bear for the ice cream store down the way.
When he saw Detective Skye again, he'd really not rather be wearing a big blue fuzzy suit and bear ears.
"Inflation sucks, pal," Gumshoe said. "Had to get a second job."
It was only half a lie. It'd be embarrassing to admit the truth. Especially when she was out there getting about five raises a week.
"Prices out here in California are ridiculous. I always get a price shock when I return from Khura'in," Detective Skye said.
She held on tight to Prosecutor Sahdmadhi. And, honestly? In that moment, Gumshoe had this teensy little thought of switching teams.
Not that he'd ever abandon Prosecutor Edgeworth for all he did for him! But, man if Prosecutor Sahdmadhi didn't endlessly spoil his detectives. Just imagine what it'd be like to be Prosecutor Sahdmadhi's detective! He'd get a stipend, he'd get raises all the time, and he'd get free food! He'd be living like a king.
Or maybe it was just Detective Skye?
"Got any recommendations?
Mike Meekins rose and gave a salute. "Pochi the Mochi says! Blue Dog Mochi is the beeeest! Mochi in Town!"
"Hmm, Mochi. I do not believe I have had this before," Prosecutor Sahdmadhi.
"You haven't? I can't believe we missed it. We have layovers in Tokyo all the time. They're little bite sized cakes made of rice flour with different types of ice cream in them," Detective Skye said
Prosecutor Sahdmadhi put his hands together and bowed. "Thank you for your heartfelt recommendation. I shall gladly take part in this--"
He punctuated each word with hand gestures. "Blue Dog mochi."
Not to be outdone, Maggey got up and started her Salty, Salty Ramen dance. She'd even made the choreography herself, something Gumshoe was real proud of.
"Guy Eldoons is the Saltiest Ramen in town, so salty you'll remember it until you come on back down~"
"Ramen does sound delicious," Prosecutor Sahdmadhi said.
Oh, it was his turn.
"And don't forget Blue Bear Ice Cream parlor! It's open for a few more hours, pal!"
It came out even more boisterously than expected.
"We were going to go for Jalapeno Southwest burgers, since you said you were craving them, though," Detective Skye said.
"There's only one choice: we must feast upon them all," Prosecutor Sahdmadhi said serenely.
Detective Skye laughed and covered her mouth. "You're a prosecutor after my own heart."
She smiled back at the trio.
"Thanks for the recommendation, and I'll see you at work. Your other work, I mean."
Maybe one day, he'd even get a pay raise so he'd get more than a bill. Until then, this second job business wasn't too bad. Sure, the costume was hot and left him sweaty, but the kids liked it and it was real satisfying to see people happily going in for ice cream. Plus, he got to get free food which they all pooled between them. Mike would bring back bites of mochi that didn't turn out perfect, Gumshoe occasionally got the broken cones filled with sample ice cream, and Guy Eldoon always made sure they each had a single bowl of ramen, on the house for how much attention Maggey had brought.
(And for once, it wasn't the attention of emergency vehicles!)
Maggey hadn't gotten fired from this job, and it seemed like maybe the saltiness of the ramen counteracted her bad luck aura.
Plus, he had a new roommate who cooked AND cleaned. They'd make rent, and be set.
"Back to work. We've only got a few hours left of working time, so we need to make it count."
Mike and Maggey both saluted.
"Right on, Captain!" Maggey said.
"I'lll do it alll, and then, I'LL DO THE DISHES!"
Mike's impassioned declaration echoed down the streets. So did their songs and dances, in those big furry costumes.
They headed out into the twilight to get those last customers. Maybe some would find it laughable, but Gumshoe felt about as much of a hero putting on that big blue dog costume as he did solving murders. The way kids smiled when they saw him was real great.
Even if he was tired, it was all worth it. Rent would be paid, and he'd be out there saving people both as the big blue dog mascot and the detective.
Series: Ace Attorney
Character/Pairing: Nahyuta/Ema, Maggey/Gumshoe
Rating: PG at most
Word count: 2306
Summary: At some point, Gumshoe's salary gets cut so much that he gets bills instead of pay stubs.
Author's note:
I was just browsing reddit and this comment stuck out to me:
"I like to believe that Gumshoe started receiving bills instead of paychecks at some point in his career"
Not my comment. I just laughed so hard I couldn't help but write it.
Also, I couldn't resist using this shitpost I made ages ago
Happy birthday, Kiu.
"You lost your job again?" Gumshoe's massive shoulders drooped.
Maggey nodded sadly. "The third murder in a row and when the walls started leaking blood was the last straw. They're doing an exorcism now that I've left, too...They're convinced I cursed the place."
She tried to smile.
"But that's okay, Gumshoe. You can pay rent until I get a new job, right?"
"Actually..."
Gumshoe held up his paystub.
Maggey looked it over.
"What? This is a bill!"
"I got my salary cut so many times that it ended up like this."
"Aw, Gumshoe..."
"Sorry," he said.
She took a long breath and clenched her fist.
"We'll figure out a way."
"I'll get another job," Maggey said.
"Or that's what I would do, if they didn't put ofuda around to try and keep me out," Maggey said.
"I'm sure there's some place that will hire you," Gumshoe said.
Of course, how long she could actually keep the job would be another story entirely.
*
Detective Skye hadn't been around for quite some time since she'd gone off to work in Khura'in. Sure, she was cranky and moody, and prone to throwing snack foods at the slightest provocation, but he was glad to see her back.
Gumshoe was used to cranky coworkers, anyways. And she was good at her job.
She'd actually been in a lot better mood. Apparently she found the new prosecutor far more agreeable than Prosecutor Gavin.
They were just taking a short break when Prosecutor Sahdmadhi approached them.
He was a real flashy sort. Even more so than Prosecutor Gavin. Gumshoe still hadn't figured out how he got those cloth things to float. Did he have little fans hidden in his robes?
His hair probably took days to dry and brush and oil up, and he wore enough gold to probably set off every alarm in the airports.
"Detective Skye, I believe you were eating snacks in the lab room."
The one which was marked 'do not eat or bring your phone into' right on the door. Gumshoe felt for her. That'd have to be a hefty salary cut right there.
"And you yelled at Prosecutor Payne," Prosecutor Sahdmadhi continued one.
Wowee, there was another salary cut right there. Poor Detective Skye would be scrambling for rent at this rate. Maybe he could take her on as a roommate.
Gumshoe had a mental thought of going home to his matchbook sized apartment that he and Maggey could barely afford, and getting snack food thrown at him there for interrupting her beauty sleep. Ema Skye, new roommate probably wouldn't work.
(Though that would cut down food costs, he reasoned.)
But, Prosecutor Sahdmadhi smiled serenely.
"Then you must be hungry."
Prosecutor Sahdmadhi withdrew a bag of Snackoos from his bag.
"Now, if you are free, we must discuss the terms of your next raise."
Detective Skye clutched her cheek. "Another already? Wow!"
Prosecutor Sahdmadhi nodded serenely. "Yes, your work on the last case was exemplary and must be rewarded."
"Of course I'm free for you," Detective Skye said. Her voice had this breathless quality.
Gumshoe couldn't figure that one out. Detective Skye must be the luckiest woman in the world to get out of that and get a raise.
Either that or Prosecutor Sahdmadhi was the nicest guy to ever exist.
Maybe he'd switch (prosecutor) teams?
(Of course he wouldn't really abandone Prosecutor Edgeworth after all this time...but a guy could dream.)
*
He was so stunned by what he'd seen, that he ended up being late to take Chief Prosecutor's tea in..
Another salary cut right there.
At this rate, his salary/bill would be so high he could barely make rent.
*
"Gumshoe, I've got a new job!"
Maggey came into their tiny, barely bigger than a closet apartment. She waved high some kind of business card.
"You finally found one which will let you cross the threshold and not instantly call a priest to perform an exorcism?"
"Even better, there's no threshold to cross!"
"Huh? Where are you working?" Gumshoe said.
"Guy Eldoons!"
"The noodle guy? The one with noodles so salty they're like tears themselves?" Gumshoe said.
"The very same!" Maggey said cheerfully.
"Mr. Eldoon thinks my presence makes the noodles even saltier, and that my reputation will only help the noodle stand," she said proudly. "So I'm going to wear a noodle mascot and bring in customers."
"Wow, that's great! Because we need the money. Even more so now," Gumshoe said.
"Oh no, Gumshoe! You got another pay cut?"
Gumshoe nodded sadly. He explained the whole thing. At least he hadn't broken Prosecutor Edgeworth's tea set. Just imagine how much that would've ended up.
Now when his rent came, he'd have another bill. One for a salary cut so much that he had to pay up.
But, it was still better than working for Prosecutor Franziska--who'd take all those salary cuts out of his skin personally, with her whip.
Not everyone could be foul-mouthed, surly, and disagreeable and still get about a dozen raises a week, like Detective Skye.
"Cheer up, Gumshoe! You'd make a great mascot. There's another store hiring right near where I'll be working. We'll get you a big bear costume and have you selling sweets on your days off. In fact, I think they let you have free samples."
"That sounds ridiculous, pal," Gumshoe said.
"You'd look cute in a big blue bear outfit."
He needed the money. And if Maggey thought he'd be cute, well it couldn't be all that bad.
*
"Phew, I danced my heart out. But Guy Eldoon says I'm getting tons more customers with my 'Salty Salty Noodle' song," Maggey said.
"You on break now?"
"I guess all our breaks came together," Maggey said. She smiled.
And it was good to see her, and their other costumed coworker.
It was the three of them, like a children's band, sitting at the seating area among all the food trucks and stalls around. Gumshoe was in a big blue bear outfit, Mike Meekins as Pochi the Mochi, some sort of dog-mochi from the place down the way that sold the frozen rice cakes with ice cream inside, and Maggey wore a ramen bowl costume.
"It's been a while since I saw you, Mike. Life been treating you well?"
Mike's shoulders slumped. "I got fired. Then I got fired again, and again."
"I know how that feels," Maggey said sadly.
Mike continued on. "I had to move. And then I'm about to have to move again. My landlord keeps citing me for being too loud. I guess I'll pick up a cardboard box on the way out and move my things in..."
"That's rough, pal. Well, if Maggey says it's all right, you could come be our roommate," Gumshoe said.
Their landlord just didn't care about anything. Noise, mess, or the leaky faucet that he refused to fix no matter how many complaints were put in. In fact, the guy was never around at all. So Mike could probably be as loud as he dang well wanted and any complaint would go ignored, just like all the other complaints anyone sent up.
Mike sniffled. "Really?"
"It's small, but it's not far from here. You okay with that, Maggey?"
"We could hang a sheet in the corner and get a cot for him. Then we'll be able to make rent," Maggey said.
"I'm saaaaaved! I promise I'll keep my room NICE and TIDY!" He gave a salute, hearkening back to his old days before he got fired.
"Great, Pal!"
"And I'll dooo dishesss! All of them!"
"Dishes?!" Gumshoe said.
He looked to Maggey. Both of them hated that clean up, even when all they ate was cheap ramen, because they couldn't afford much else.
"I'll sweeeep the floor! And everything!"
Tears streamed down his face now.
"I'm saaaaaaaaaved!"
Some customers came in. Gumshoe recognized their voices right away. Prosecutor Sahdmadhi had a gentle voice and unique accent which meant Gumshoe would recognize him anywhere.
"Oh, look at all these food stalls and trucks," Detective Skye said.
"We should. I'll pay," Prosecutor Sahdmadhi said.
"Really?"
Prosecutor Sahdmadhi closed his eyes and smiled. "Did you not read the fine print of the last raise? It includes a clause that I'm allowed to buy you as much food as you and I desire, for you are certainly worth it."
"Well, I'd never say no to free food," Detective Skye said.
She noticed him right away. She always was a sharp one, Detective Skye. Both in insight and her tongue.
"Wait, aren't you Detective Gumshoe? Why are you wearing a costume? Is this some new detective rule I'm not aware of?"
Gumshoe blushed, and it wasn't just because it was hot in this costume of the big blue bear for the ice cream store down the way.
When he saw Detective Skye again, he'd really not rather be wearing a big blue fuzzy suit and bear ears.
"Inflation sucks, pal," Gumshoe said. "Had to get a second job."
It was only half a lie. It'd be embarrassing to admit the truth. Especially when she was out there getting about five raises a week.
"Prices out here in California are ridiculous. I always get a price shock when I return from Khura'in," Detective Skye said.
She held on tight to Prosecutor Sahdmadhi. And, honestly? In that moment, Gumshoe had this teensy little thought of switching teams.
Not that he'd ever abandon Prosecutor Edgeworth for all he did for him! But, man if Prosecutor Sahdmadhi didn't endlessly spoil his detectives. Just imagine what it'd be like to be Prosecutor Sahdmadhi's detective! He'd get a stipend, he'd get raises all the time, and he'd get free food! He'd be living like a king.
Or maybe it was just Detective Skye?
"Got any recommendations?
Mike Meekins rose and gave a salute. "Pochi the Mochi says! Blue Dog Mochi is the beeeest! Mochi in Town!"
"Hmm, Mochi. I do not believe I have had this before," Prosecutor Sahdmadhi.
"You haven't? I can't believe we missed it. We have layovers in Tokyo all the time. They're little bite sized cakes made of rice flour with different types of ice cream in them," Detective Skye said
Prosecutor Sahdmadhi put his hands together and bowed. "Thank you for your heartfelt recommendation. I shall gladly take part in this--"
He punctuated each word with hand gestures. "Blue Dog mochi."
Not to be outdone, Maggey got up and started her Salty, Salty Ramen dance. She'd even made the choreography herself, something Gumshoe was real proud of.
"Guy Eldoons is the Saltiest Ramen in town, so salty you'll remember it until you come on back down~"
"Ramen does sound delicious," Prosecutor Sahdmadhi said.
Oh, it was his turn.
"And don't forget Blue Bear Ice Cream parlor! It's open for a few more hours, pal!"
It came out even more boisterously than expected.
"We were going to go for Jalapeno Southwest burgers, since you said you were craving them, though," Detective Skye said.
"There's only one choice: we must feast upon them all," Prosecutor Sahdmadhi said serenely.
Detective Skye laughed and covered her mouth. "You're a prosecutor after my own heart."
She smiled back at the trio.
"Thanks for the recommendation, and I'll see you at work. Your other work, I mean."
Maybe one day, he'd even get a pay raise so he'd get more than a bill. Until then, this second job business wasn't too bad. Sure, the costume was hot and left him sweaty, but the kids liked it and it was real satisfying to see people happily going in for ice cream. Plus, he got to get free food which they all pooled between them. Mike would bring back bites of mochi that didn't turn out perfect, Gumshoe occasionally got the broken cones filled with sample ice cream, and Guy Eldoon always made sure they each had a single bowl of ramen, on the house for how much attention Maggey had brought.
(And for once, it wasn't the attention of emergency vehicles!)
Maggey hadn't gotten fired from this job, and it seemed like maybe the saltiness of the ramen counteracted her bad luck aura.
Plus, he had a new roommate who cooked AND cleaned. They'd make rent, and be set.
"Back to work. We've only got a few hours left of working time, so we need to make it count."
Mike and Maggey both saluted.
"Right on, Captain!" Maggey said.
"I'lll do it alll, and then, I'LL DO THE DISHES!"
Mike's impassioned declaration echoed down the streets. So did their songs and dances, in those big furry costumes.
They headed out into the twilight to get those last customers. Maybe some would find it laughable, but Gumshoe felt about as much of a hero putting on that big blue dog costume as he did solving murders. The way kids smiled when they saw him was real great.
Even if he was tired, it was all worth it. Rent would be paid, and he'd be out there saving people both as the big blue dog mascot and the detective.
