fic: Through Glasses Darkly
Apr. 28th, 2019 09:34 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
bonnefoisTitle: Through Glasses Darkly
Series: Fire Emblem: Awakening
Character/Pairing: Laurent/Noire, background hinted Kjelle/Severa
Rating: PG-13
Word count: 5211
Summary: Laurent reclasses into a Sorcerer. Noire can't stop thinking about it. (Or: Despite both being quite book smart, Noire and Laurent are intensely stupid about their feelings about each other.)
Author's note: Laurent as dark mage . though.
Laurent's father is Vaike, for ahem, plot (?) reasons. (I wish my Vaike!Laurent had turned out this buff and awesome.) Noire's father is Henry, for maximum dark mage. Severa's dad is Gregor, Kjelle's is Stahl.
Noire gaped, then quickly covered her mouth with her hand. She still couldn't quite quell a startled gasp as he walked by. Of course, she'd known that Laurent had been training at an exponential rate, constantly training until he'd reached his peak as a Sage, but she had never expected to suddenly see him in the filmy garb of a Sorcerer.
A Sorcerer? He was a Sorcerer now?!
Laurent's long, dark and sheer robes fell caught in the wind. Her eyes widened as he walked on, with a nod towards her. He stopped to write some notes within a notebook.
Noire blinked and rubbed at her eyes. What on earth had just happened? Noire felt like she'd been hit with an arrow, the shock was so great. And worst of all this shouldn't surprise her, of all people. She'd been raised with dark mages. Of course, papa dressed a little differently, with a necklace of raven wings and gold coins, and a shirt which was thicker, and not quite so transparent. They'd been cloistered away; most of her mother's family had died before the Risen took over, but she'd still met some of her Plegian relatives, some of the few in that country not associated with the Grimleal.
She could see his chest right through the filmy material, and even his nipples. As he lifted up his arm, and tightened his arm, she could see that his biceps were surprisingly toned. In fact, all of him was toned, taut, even down to his thighs--he'd been very thorough in his training with his father. As he turned, she could even see his broad expanse of back and...lower, where his tight shortclothes were easily seen. She flushed bright and jerked her gaze away. Who had ever thought to create such a accursed outfit? Oh, her cheeks burned as her mind searched for answers she couldn't find. It'd all been so simple when he'd been a Sage. She didn't question that she thought he was handsome because who wouldn't? And she wouldn't linger on it long because there was no chance somebody like him would ever think that way about her.
So she could just focus on barely hanging on while fighting this war, and trying to save their time.
Her cheeks burned with such heat. She had a fever? She had a been in the sun too long and grown dizzy with heat sickness? Logic surely dictated that of everyone, she would never react like this to the garb of a dark mage, and yet, logic failed her. As did words.
His brow furrowed, and he looked up from the dark magic tome. "You keep staring, is something the matter?"
Of course Laurent would notice. He was fastidious to a fault, and far too intelligent to be oblivious to something so obvious. She jerked her gaze away to hide her blush.
"What? N-no, there was just----a bug. There was a bug on your shoulder. I wanted to warn you but um, it flew away before I could."
"Ah, I see," he said softly. "Then you have my thanks, even if it flew away before you could speak. Though I must ask, what kind? I felt no sting, but still I must wonder if it something dangerous that I should seek anti-venom properties for."
"No! Not at all! It was nothing b-but a ladybug. A little red ladybug."
She glanced away from his gaze sheepishly. "It was nothing, I suppose."
"No harm done," Laurent said softly. He smiled at her so gently that it made her face feel even more filled with head.
He looked to his shoulders, which were surprisingly broad. She supposed with Vaike as a father, it shouldn't be a surprise. Even for a mage he had been unceasing even in physical training.
Really, he was stronger than any mage she'd seen. It was simply under his robes she hadn't noticed. Noire had never particularly thought to herself Under those robes does Laurent have abs so defined that he could rival Kjelle?
Today she got the answer to a question she'd never asked, or even thought of, until now.
"Was there something you needed to ask me?"
She was doing it again. She was staring. And when she tried to figure out why, her mind got distracted again by that flowing filmy material, and his body...did he have a different aura now? Was he already affected by curses?!
"I-I have something I have to do. Right now, right this minute!"
His voice was filled with alarm. "Noire--is something the matter? Should I sound the alarm that we are being attacked?"
"No! I need to....check my bow!"
With a flurry of excuses, Noire rushed off. She rushed through the camp--and no one even gave her a second glace, after all, she was always cupped cold water from a nearby trough and splashed it on her face.
I-It's just the heat, she thought to herself. But her cheeks grew hot again at the memory of Laurent. I-I'll be fine. I just need to cool off. Then everything will be back to normal... He'll stop this foolishness and become a Sage again, and everything will be right... I hope.
*
Rows of tents and makeshift practice dummies surrounded her, as the bustle of camp passed by, all focused on their tasks. Noire attempted to focus on her own task, with little success. She checked the string on her bow, to ensure its tautness. Laurent had reminded her this, and reminded her to eat, and not to work too hard. In truth, it seemed he was always at her shoulder, finding fault in every action and reminding her to do better. Take better care of herself, not be harmed in battle, sleep more. If only it were so easy! She'd been doing her best not to explode on him, because he was the last person she wanted to think poorly of her.
Her fingers traced the string of the bow. He was so smart, and capable. He kept their entire band together, and helped form the plans which kept them from losing, even when the odds had been so stacked against them. And even though she was a mess, she wanted him to like her. So she bit her tongue to keep her other side from ruining all that.
"Noire? If I may have a moment, I'd like to speak with you."
Noire let out a little cry of surprise, and nearly dropped her bow.
He lifted one eyebrow. "I'm sorry, did I startle you?"
She clutched the bow tighter to her chest. "I didn't see you there," she said.
"My apologies."
Even though she liked almost everything about him, rage spilled forth from her other side. What was it this time? How dare he be so distractingly handsome? How dare he take the dark path of magic, what fool would willingly put themselves near curses? How dare he bring up these confusing feelings up within her?
She pushed it down. She wouldn't let that side of her come out around him. She wouldn't, she wouldn't...
As he turned, she found even more reason to blush: the back was entirely sheer, and the more she saw of her body, the more she felt that mysterious heat she couldn't explain.
The day was cloudy, even chilly. She couldn't blame heat sickness this time.
Again, he lifted his arm, and tightened it a moment, waiting for her response. Was it related to some magic stance she didn't know?
Noire stared down at her bow. Laurent was so astute, he'd surely figure out what she was thinking, even if Noire couldn't figure it out herself. And that thought was a little grain of sand, rubbing in her mind, that growing annoyance that showed her other side would burst forth and ruin everything.
No. She couldn't...
His hand rested upon a purple tome she knew all too well.
"Firstly, I wished to commend you for being devoted to checking your bow, as I had asked. It is a comfort that you will be safer in battle. If you need, I will remind you before every battle."
Noire glanced away. Her other side simmered below with the slight pang of annoyance. "Mmm..."
"And furthermore, this is what I came to ask--Mother once said that dark magic contained many curious properties, such as being able to heal, scry, and speak to the departed. I wanted to confirm this with someone who would know best."
Noire clutched her bow even tighter, so much that she was surprised it did not break. There was nothing she wanted to talk about less than dark magic. It made her feel more and more tightly wound.
Noire had begun to twitch from the effort of keeping composure now. "Not everyone can be a d-dark mage. Only if your blood is pure enough..." Noire said softly.
"My grandmother's grandmother hailed from Plegia," Laurent replied. "A refugee from the Grimleal, I believe. My mother's genealogy is that of many mages, until my father. Each sought to better refine their craft and knowledge. It is only now that I return to those roots and find new knowledge. I believe this should be a boon within wizard fights."
She couldn't quite follow what this had to do with her. Why would he speak of his family tree in the middle of the day, when she had her bow to attend to? At times, she couldn't understand what he was thinking. And wizard fights? Why was he suddenly speaking about how her papa said he met and married her mother?
He ran his fingers over the tome. "It seems there is far more the curses than I could ever imagine. It's deliciously challenging. I hadn't expected it to be that different from anima magic."
"Curses?!"
"The thought of healing through dark magic isn't unprecedented. My mother is joining me in studying the use of toxins as medicine in recent times. It's a fascinating subject."
Dread gripped her heart. He was in too deep, much too deep. Horrifying memories bubbled up. The Grimleal bringing their sacrifices to the table. Some were so corrupted with dark magic that they resembled the Risen themselves, with rotted flesh and broken bones.
"N-No! It's horrible! Please be careful...Dark mages get horrible blowback, even experienced ones! It's very dangerous, especially to someone who wasn't raised in it!"
Laurent titled his head, and murmured how curious... Like many things about Laurent, she couldn't begin to figure out what he meant.
"I would never use someone as a subject without their consent. In truth, I've considered using myself as a test subject. Yes, the cure staff to ward off the potential damage causes an extra deficit, but it is a price I am willing to pay for such knowledge and skill. And future wizard fights."
Noire gasped. "Using yourself as a test subject? P-Poisoning yourself for what? That is..."
"Oh, not poisoning. Other, milder things," he said. And it was so conversational, and so obvious he had never felt the bite of dark magic lingering on under his skin and had no idea what dark forces he was so idly toying with.
Noire grimaced. Her grip on her bow began to shudder. She couldn't hold it back any longer. Her other side came forth in a burst of fury.
"FOOLISH FOOL! YOU TREAD IN WATERS THAT WILL DESTROY YOU! IF YOU WISH FOR DESTRUCTION THAT MUCH, I WILL GLADLY GIVE IT TO YOU!"
Laurent blushed deep with wide-eyed gaze which was what? Awe? Shock? The last thing she wanted to do was hurt him. Still, she couldn't stop as she screamed and derided at him for his constant checking in on her, like some fussy mother hen, his callous, self-righteous gaze--constantly judging all those he met as not enough, and even that he dared be so handsome and appealing and unattainable and yet. Though it all, he blushed and gave faint, pleading protests that he had merely been looking out for her. It didn't stop her other side's rage. She bellowed until her rage was spent, and when it was done, Noire was left with nothing but the broken pieces.
When she was finally finished, she gasped for breath. "O-Oh...I'm..."
He did not meet her eyes. "I...apologize. I must be going..."
She couldn't bear to watch him leave.
Oh, she'd ruined everything. Noire hung her head. She shouldn't known that she couldn't keep her other side hidden forever. It was a fool's errand. Surely he'd heard of it before, Laurent kept an eye on everyone in the army. He would've known about how she lost control. But, oh, she'd wanted to keep this pristine for a little while longer. Because now that it was gone, all she wanted him to be here again, even if he was telling her to check her bow again and be careful on the battlefield, and to be sure she ate.
*
Severa and Kjelle chatted after a long spar. The sun shone down on Kjelle's purple armor, enough to nearly blind Noire. Severa had managed to keep her surprisingly fashionable, sleek clothes pristine, even through the dust of training. As they spoke, Severa kept putting her fingers through her red hair.
As much as it felt like she was intruding on something more, and the faint knowledge of the tension between those two seen in peripheral, Noire kept firing at targets.
Each hit would lesson the pressure in her mind and maybe if she practiced enough, her other side wouldn't burst forth today and ruin anything else.
As Laurent passed by, and nodded at each of them in turn. This time, he had no comments to make. As he came to her, his gaze went to the ground, with flushed cheeks as he left.
Noire's again felt that rush, that blush as he went by. She almost wished he'd tell her to take better care of her bow. She buried her face behind her bow. Of course, he'd want nothing to do with her now that she completely exploded on him. She should've known that she'd go and ruin everything in the end.
It was all becoming clearer. Of course she thought about Laurent constantly because she feared for him, that he would step too far in the dark path. That was obviously the only reason. But oh, now that she'd exploded on him, how was she supposed to him? He would surely avoid her, and even might ignore her warnings.
She let out a sigh and began to check her bow. She'd trained so much, she'd have to grab another one from the armory soon. Maybe she'd see him there. He often organized the convoy. Noire squished down that hope before it became something more.
"I can't believe we didn't get a lecture from Professor Egghead over there," Severa said.
"Feh, as if I don't know how to care for my own spear," Kjelle said. Kjelle rolled her eyes heavenward at that. Nobody in the entire army cared more for their armor and weapons more than Kjelle, after all. Often, right after meals, she'd completely leave to do hours of training, then preparation for the next battle.
So that confirmed it. He likely checked everyone. Him hanging about her only meant that she was weaker than everyone else, not special to him. Really, that very thought was preposterous...
She knew it, and hadn't really believed, yet....
They continued on with their conversation.
"His latest thing is 'correcting stances.' He's probably never even lifted a sword in his life, and now he's telling me the 'optimal' way to swing one?"
Noire looked away. Even if parts of his brought forth her other side, he still wasn't that bad. Yes, he was frank, even to the point of being somewhat callous at times, and his comments made her other sight want to ignite on sight, it was really based on kindness and concern about the entire group. She kept rubbing over her bow, over and over. She never thought she'd welcome a lecture, but it'd been days since he'd talked to her. Even if she knew he was just watching over the entire army, at least he'd be paying attention to her again. Even if it was meaningless to him.
Severa tossed her red hair indignantly. "Don't tell me you're afraid of him, Noire. The only thing he could do was bore us to death," Severa said.
Kjelle chuckled beside her. "Really, he's a mage. You could probably just scoop him right up and carry him away."
"A weirdo like him would probably like that," Severa said.
"He's surprisingly strong," Noire said softly. She remembered the first time she'd seen his Sorcerer robes, and everything it'd revealed. She blushed deeply at the memory.
"For a mage. I'd like to see him lift even a bronze spear without falling over," Kjelle said.
Severa smirked at her remark.
These days they'd grown closer, constant sparring partners both in bickering and on the training field. Noire could sense some kind of different energy between the two of them. She couldn't even begin to know the words to explain it.
Kjelle brushed back her dark hair, and smirked. "He should take it to the battlefield instead. Go and Lecture the Risen about taking care of their weapons until they ran on any spear they could find to escape it."
Noire could feel her other side below the surface. Two sides were shifting, so different. Part of her wanted to defend him. He was just keeping them safe, and working so hard at that. Keeping them from dying was not worthy of mockery. The other side thought Maybe Laurent would know, since he knew everything. Always lingering over people's shoulders, telling them what to do, with such a condescending, callous gaze. As if he thinks he's better than everyone.
She forced her thoughts to shift away from that, before her other side could whisper I will wipe that smug, self-satisfied smirk off his face and make him cower at my boots.
Before that side could spring free and grasp control away and ruin anything else in her life.
"Besides, Laurent's too much of a square to ever hurt you. He's not the type to play around. He'd probably propose before a single date to make it all 'proper,'" Severa said.
Noire blushed. "It's not that--!" Noire protested.
It didn't make sense. She'd fought by and against other dark mages, and they never made her this embarrassed. She didn't think about them like this, until every other thought was Laurent. Even her thoughts of him were fractured as her other self brought up rage to meet the feelings she couldn't explain in mere words.
Suddenly, the rage overflowed.
"QUIET, YOU FOOL! MY MOTIVATIONS WILL NOT BE QUESTIONED BY THE LIKES OF YOU! YOU HAVE NEVER SPOKEN CLEARLY OF YOUR FEELINGS ONCE IN YOUR SHORT LIFE!"
Severa was used to her outbursts, and simply grimaced, and pushed one of her red pigtails back with her hand. "Don't go freaking out. Nobody cares if you have a crush on that egghead. Really, you're making such a big deal over nothing. He's just a guy; not someone from a different clan that's sworn to kill your family or some forbidden love that no one can speak the name of, because everyone's obsessed with stupid marriage and babies. He's boring and annoying, but dependable and would probably make a good husband, if you're into that. You could do much worse."
"He's decent enough, for a man, I suppose. Certainly better than some of the other fools in this army," Kjelle said.
Severa smirked. "You'd never have to worry about taxes or cleaning, because he sure loves keeping things neat. He'd probably do all the shopping, too."
Noire shuddered as the rage overtook her. She clutched her talisman. "MOCKING ME WILL BE YOUR VERY LAST BREATH, YOU UTTER WRETCHES!"
Severa rolled her eyes. "Nobody's mocking you. We're just stating the facts you refuse to face. Just go tell him you have a crush on him already. This whole misdirection is as embarrassing as some of the stories of how our parents got married after knowing each other for two minutes."
"A C-crush? You all think I have a crush on him?" Noire said softly.
"It's pretty obvious. To everyone but you, apparently," Severa said. "When you talk about him you always get all weird and blushy. Besides, I would've be surprised if he's got the hots for you, too. He's always been hanging around you all the time lately, and he even switched classes to Sorcerer completely out of the left field. Leave it to the genius in our army to be totally stupid about his feelings."
It rose up again. The very indignity of them explaining to her what she could barely understand herself. Laurent suddenly changing his entire course of life to become a Sorcerer? Laurent's soft smile, and gentle, yet firm voice as he asked if she'd eaten for the third time that day?
"THE ONLY CRUSH IS HOW I WILL CRUSH YOU WITH A RAIN OF ARROWS!"
Kjelle, however, wasn't bowed by her other side. Instead a light came in her eyes, ready to fight. "I wonder if her other side would be as challenging a fight. She's got a sharp tongue, but maybe she's like Severa: all bark and no bite."
Severa whirled around on Kjelle. "Excuse me? I'd be gladly let you taste my steel, because I assure you, it's just as sharp as my tongue," Severa said.
"Get in line, because first I'm going to test my mettle against Noire," Kjelle said.
Noire let out a dark laugh and lifted her bow. "IF YOU THINK YOU CAN DESTROY THIS VESSEL SO EASILY, YOU ARE MISTAKEN. TASTE MY WRATH!"
Kjelle lifted up her spear, with an eager grin. "Bring it on!"
Severa let out a sigh and shook her head. "I better go get Brady before you two idiots get each other killed."
But both Noire and Kjelle were laughing too loud while they furiously sparred to hear her muttered comment.
*
As the days passed, she couldn't stop thinking about him. His absence only made it grow worse. They said absence made the heart grow fonder, well for her it made her other side come up at the slightest provocation. So that would make it what--absence made the heart grow more violent and long for blood?
And she couldn't stop thinking about him. The approximately two minutes of sleep she managed a night between the nightmares, and the panic were being stolen away by an entirely new set of Laurent-related worries. Wasn't he cold like that? Was he being corrupted by dark magic? Why was he always checking up on her, did he really think she was that weak? And even worse, why hadn't he come back to check on her again? She was split in two: part of her wanted him back, part of her still felt a simmering rage at the thought that she was seen as a pathetic weakling who constantly needed coddling.
But through it all, there was a worry that overpowered all her fear and rage. Laurent had no idea what he had stumbled upon. He was plenty smart, but his journey into the dark path could only leave him broken.
Even if he hated her completely, she had to face him once more and warn him. Dark magic was dangerous, and putting curses upon himself, oh! He could hurt himself in a way that not even a cure staff could help.
It wasn't like she was thinking of the way the sun caught his blond hair or how she'd stood behind him in the mess hall and all she could do was stare at the lines of his back. And it wasn't like she was always thinking how intelligent and handsome he was, and how lucky they that he worked so hard on the war effort.
Okay, maybe a little. Just a little. But everyone thought about him like that, right? Okay, maybe not Severa and Kjelle, but certainly the rest.
But everything she'd meant to say was forgotten at the sight of him. He really was so composed, and attractive. Unfairly so, even. She clutched her talisman to steady her. What instead came out was a battle cry.
"BOW AND SUBMIT TO YOUR MASTER, WEAKLING."
She returned to control to find her other side had dipped him, and been half on the way to what--claiming him in a kiss? Oh!
Laurent blushed so deeply. Noire drew back suddenly, nearly dropping him in the process.
"I'm--I'm so sorry!"
"I'm not," Laurent said. His lips were slightly parted, and oh so kissable. (Where had that thought come from? Her other side?)
"I'm sorry I couldn't hold her back. I tried so hard, but I couldn't..."
"Hold her back? I could not stand such a thing! Your rage is so utterly beautiful, like the force of a storm. Truly, I have never felt more alive than when I was near both sides of you."
"Both sides? You actually like her?"
"Yes, absolutely! And, while, in truth, I did feel the need to search for such bountiful wells of knowledge that dark magic can provide, I had other motives as well."
Noire gasped. "Other motives?!"
Laurent nodded. "Yes... my attempts to catch your attention had not worked. Thus, I believed that perhaps I needed to research some Plegian custom I was missing."
"Wait, all that time you were flirting? with me?"
"Is that so hard to believe?"
"You thought telling me to take better care of my bow and scolding me to eat was flirting?" Noire said incredulously.
"Yes, showing care and affection are part of a relationship, thus it is logical that showing them would be a sign of wishing to begin a relationship. In fact, my mother and father married because of her constant reminders for him to not forget his axe."
Her head was reeling. Every single conversation her emotions had swirled under the surface, mixed resentment that this side of Laurent wasn't fully hers, resentment that he was scolding her, resentment that his attention only meant he worried about the army and saw her unfit...all that time he had been flirting with her?
"And too, I must admit that I theorized Plegian attire was not merely because of the intense heat, but also like a bird and its plumage in terms of courting. It does show many assets."
He held up his arm again in that weird gesture. Noire still had no idea why he kept doing that. Noire had to look away at that. His assets were a little too distracting. "Um, I-I wouldn't know about that..."
"Hmm, perhaps my theory was off then. When I asked my father about courting, he said 'flexing' would do the trick. I attempted to follow his example, but it was most foolish looking. However, this Plegian attire seemed a kind of 'flex' in its own."
Noire blushed. "Ah...."
Laurent continued on. "However, your mother in no undue terms told me anyone unworthy of her child would be cursed with such fury. Your father suggested that the only way to your heart was to fight 'fire with fire.' Or, as he put it, 'curses with curses, nyahaha.' I sought to prove my worthiness, and thought this would catch your eye."
Noire gasped. "Y-You apprenticed to my m-mother? Y-you thought curses would win my affection?"
"No. I learned from books, and a seal meant for changing one's path. She was most thorny in the prospect of speaking to me again after that, though your father was quite glad to speak of dark magic with me."
His brow furrowed. "You see, your father spoke of courting your mother with 'wizard fights' I assumed it was a custom in your culture. To win your heart, I would have to take a different path. So I strove what I could to be worthy of asking for your hand."
Noire let out a cry. So that was why he kept mentioning wizard fights. "There's nothing I'd like less!"
"Then, this is not an integral part your culture? Hmm, perhaps I have made a grave misjudgment," Laurent said.
She touched to her talisman. "FOOLISH MORTAL. HAD YOU LISTENED TO THE PATHETIC WHIMPERINGS OF THIS VESSEL, YOU WOULD HAVE SURELY KNOWN WHAT THIS WEAKLING THINKS OF DARK MAGIC!"
Laurent blushed at this. "Ooh...Perhaps I was too caught up in the plans and I missed the obvious."
Noire held her bow to her breast, returned back from her rage. There was an apology on her lips, but for once she didn't have to apologize for her fractured self.
"Um...It's really true? You actually like her? I..don't have to hold back? I don't have to beg and grovel for forgiveness?"
"Yes, absolutely! Her fury is so powerful and wonderful, and such a perfect compliment for you. Both sides of you are so fascinating and beautiful. I want nothing more than to be near all of you."
"All of me..."
Noire glanced away. "The truth is... I...couldn't stop thinking about you. Maybe I was always thinking about you and just pushing it aside. And there was so much to focus on. The war, saving this time and preventing the disaster of our time from happening, staying alive... But when you changed to a Sorcerer, I couldn't explain it away anymore. And I couldn't stop staring at you. I thought I was just worried that you would get corrupted, but that didn't explain the..." She couldn't say in words, and it frustrated her.
"But I still am worried about you as a Sorcerer, um..."
It would be so embarrassing to try and say that she'd always felt something, but saying to his face that she wanted to rip away those filmy robes and then what? Kiss him? More? That embarrassment shifted to a deep anger.
"A WEAKING SUCH AS YOURSELF WOULD MAKE A PATHETIC GRIMLEAL. IF YOU WANT DARK MASTER TO SERVE, THEN BOW AT MY FEET!"
Laurent clasped his hands, his eyes were filled with wonder. "Oh, truly, Noire, nothing would please me more!"
She returned to herself, to find him closer than ever. She let out a little gasp at the proximity.
"I'm really glad," Noire said softly.
"One thing I must bring up, are the 'wizard fights.' I found that potential courtship ritual most fascinating. Of course, with your other side, I would likely be sounded beaten and dominated and forced to plead at your feet for mercy every single day... Oh the thought is so wonderful, I can barely bear it..."
"Oh, we can spar. In fact, um, that other side of me will be happy to spar. I have to warn that, um, she hits pretty hard."
"Splendid!" Laurent said.
Series: Fire Emblem: Awakening
Character/Pairing: Laurent/Noire, background hinted Kjelle/Severa
Rating: PG-13
Word count: 5211
Summary: Laurent reclasses into a Sorcerer. Noire can't stop thinking about it. (Or: Despite both being quite book smart, Noire and Laurent are intensely stupid about their feelings about each other.)
Author's note: Laurent as dark mage . though.
Laurent's father is Vaike, for ahem, plot (?) reasons. (I wish my Vaike!Laurent had turned out this buff and awesome.) Noire's father is Henry, for maximum dark mage. Severa's dad is Gregor, Kjelle's is Stahl.
Noire gaped, then quickly covered her mouth with her hand. She still couldn't quite quell a startled gasp as he walked by. Of course, she'd known that Laurent had been training at an exponential rate, constantly training until he'd reached his peak as a Sage, but she had never expected to suddenly see him in the filmy garb of a Sorcerer.
A Sorcerer? He was a Sorcerer now?!
Laurent's long, dark and sheer robes fell caught in the wind. Her eyes widened as he walked on, with a nod towards her. He stopped to write some notes within a notebook.
Noire blinked and rubbed at her eyes. What on earth had just happened? Noire felt like she'd been hit with an arrow, the shock was so great. And worst of all this shouldn't surprise her, of all people. She'd been raised with dark mages. Of course, papa dressed a little differently, with a necklace of raven wings and gold coins, and a shirt which was thicker, and not quite so transparent. They'd been cloistered away; most of her mother's family had died before the Risen took over, but she'd still met some of her Plegian relatives, some of the few in that country not associated with the Grimleal.
She could see his chest right through the filmy material, and even his nipples. As he lifted up his arm, and tightened his arm, she could see that his biceps were surprisingly toned. In fact, all of him was toned, taut, even down to his thighs--he'd been very thorough in his training with his father. As he turned, she could even see his broad expanse of back and...lower, where his tight shortclothes were easily seen. She flushed bright and jerked her gaze away. Who had ever thought to create such a accursed outfit? Oh, her cheeks burned as her mind searched for answers she couldn't find. It'd all been so simple when he'd been a Sage. She didn't question that she thought he was handsome because who wouldn't? And she wouldn't linger on it long because there was no chance somebody like him would ever think that way about her.
So she could just focus on barely hanging on while fighting this war, and trying to save their time.
Her cheeks burned with such heat. She had a fever? She had a been in the sun too long and grown dizzy with heat sickness? Logic surely dictated that of everyone, she would never react like this to the garb of a dark mage, and yet, logic failed her. As did words.
His brow furrowed, and he looked up from the dark magic tome. "You keep staring, is something the matter?"
Of course Laurent would notice. He was fastidious to a fault, and far too intelligent to be oblivious to something so obvious. She jerked her gaze away to hide her blush.
"What? N-no, there was just----a bug. There was a bug on your shoulder. I wanted to warn you but um, it flew away before I could."
"Ah, I see," he said softly. "Then you have my thanks, even if it flew away before you could speak. Though I must ask, what kind? I felt no sting, but still I must wonder if it something dangerous that I should seek anti-venom properties for."
"No! Not at all! It was nothing b-but a ladybug. A little red ladybug."
She glanced away from his gaze sheepishly. "It was nothing, I suppose."
"No harm done," Laurent said softly. He smiled at her so gently that it made her face feel even more filled with head.
He looked to his shoulders, which were surprisingly broad. She supposed with Vaike as a father, it shouldn't be a surprise. Even for a mage he had been unceasing even in physical training.
Really, he was stronger than any mage she'd seen. It was simply under his robes she hadn't noticed. Noire had never particularly thought to herself Under those robes does Laurent have abs so defined that he could rival Kjelle?
Today she got the answer to a question she'd never asked, or even thought of, until now.
"Was there something you needed to ask me?"
She was doing it again. She was staring. And when she tried to figure out why, her mind got distracted again by that flowing filmy material, and his body...did he have a different aura now? Was he already affected by curses?!
"I-I have something I have to do. Right now, right this minute!"
His voice was filled with alarm. "Noire--is something the matter? Should I sound the alarm that we are being attacked?"
"No! I need to....check my bow!"
With a flurry of excuses, Noire rushed off. She rushed through the camp--and no one even gave her a second glace, after all, she was always cupped cold water from a nearby trough and splashed it on her face.
I-It's just the heat, she thought to herself. But her cheeks grew hot again at the memory of Laurent. I-I'll be fine. I just need to cool off. Then everything will be back to normal... He'll stop this foolishness and become a Sage again, and everything will be right... I hope.
*
Rows of tents and makeshift practice dummies surrounded her, as the bustle of camp passed by, all focused on their tasks. Noire attempted to focus on her own task, with little success. She checked the string on her bow, to ensure its tautness. Laurent had reminded her this, and reminded her to eat, and not to work too hard. In truth, it seemed he was always at her shoulder, finding fault in every action and reminding her to do better. Take better care of herself, not be harmed in battle, sleep more. If only it were so easy! She'd been doing her best not to explode on him, because he was the last person she wanted to think poorly of her.
Her fingers traced the string of the bow. He was so smart, and capable. He kept their entire band together, and helped form the plans which kept them from losing, even when the odds had been so stacked against them. And even though she was a mess, she wanted him to like her. So she bit her tongue to keep her other side from ruining all that.
"Noire? If I may have a moment, I'd like to speak with you."
Noire let out a little cry of surprise, and nearly dropped her bow.
He lifted one eyebrow. "I'm sorry, did I startle you?"
She clutched the bow tighter to her chest. "I didn't see you there," she said.
"My apologies."
Even though she liked almost everything about him, rage spilled forth from her other side. What was it this time? How dare he be so distractingly handsome? How dare he take the dark path of magic, what fool would willingly put themselves near curses? How dare he bring up these confusing feelings up within her?
She pushed it down. She wouldn't let that side of her come out around him. She wouldn't, she wouldn't...
As he turned, she found even more reason to blush: the back was entirely sheer, and the more she saw of her body, the more she felt that mysterious heat she couldn't explain.
The day was cloudy, even chilly. She couldn't blame heat sickness this time.
Again, he lifted his arm, and tightened it a moment, waiting for her response. Was it related to some magic stance she didn't know?
Noire stared down at her bow. Laurent was so astute, he'd surely figure out what she was thinking, even if Noire couldn't figure it out herself. And that thought was a little grain of sand, rubbing in her mind, that growing annoyance that showed her other side would burst forth and ruin everything.
No. She couldn't...
His hand rested upon a purple tome she knew all too well.
"Firstly, I wished to commend you for being devoted to checking your bow, as I had asked. It is a comfort that you will be safer in battle. If you need, I will remind you before every battle."
Noire glanced away. Her other side simmered below with the slight pang of annoyance. "Mmm..."
"And furthermore, this is what I came to ask--Mother once said that dark magic contained many curious properties, such as being able to heal, scry, and speak to the departed. I wanted to confirm this with someone who would know best."
Noire clutched her bow even tighter, so much that she was surprised it did not break. There was nothing she wanted to talk about less than dark magic. It made her feel more and more tightly wound.
Noire had begun to twitch from the effort of keeping composure now. "Not everyone can be a d-dark mage. Only if your blood is pure enough..." Noire said softly.
"My grandmother's grandmother hailed from Plegia," Laurent replied. "A refugee from the Grimleal, I believe. My mother's genealogy is that of many mages, until my father. Each sought to better refine their craft and knowledge. It is only now that I return to those roots and find new knowledge. I believe this should be a boon within wizard fights."
She couldn't quite follow what this had to do with her. Why would he speak of his family tree in the middle of the day, when she had her bow to attend to? At times, she couldn't understand what he was thinking. And wizard fights? Why was he suddenly speaking about how her papa said he met and married her mother?
He ran his fingers over the tome. "It seems there is far more the curses than I could ever imagine. It's deliciously challenging. I hadn't expected it to be that different from anima magic."
"Curses?!"
"The thought of healing through dark magic isn't unprecedented. My mother is joining me in studying the use of toxins as medicine in recent times. It's a fascinating subject."
Dread gripped her heart. He was in too deep, much too deep. Horrifying memories bubbled up. The Grimleal bringing their sacrifices to the table. Some were so corrupted with dark magic that they resembled the Risen themselves, with rotted flesh and broken bones.
"N-No! It's horrible! Please be careful...Dark mages get horrible blowback, even experienced ones! It's very dangerous, especially to someone who wasn't raised in it!"
Laurent titled his head, and murmured how curious... Like many things about Laurent, she couldn't begin to figure out what he meant.
"I would never use someone as a subject without their consent. In truth, I've considered using myself as a test subject. Yes, the cure staff to ward off the potential damage causes an extra deficit, but it is a price I am willing to pay for such knowledge and skill. And future wizard fights."
Noire gasped. "Using yourself as a test subject? P-Poisoning yourself for what? That is..."
"Oh, not poisoning. Other, milder things," he said. And it was so conversational, and so obvious he had never felt the bite of dark magic lingering on under his skin and had no idea what dark forces he was so idly toying with.
Noire grimaced. Her grip on her bow began to shudder. She couldn't hold it back any longer. Her other side came forth in a burst of fury.
"FOOLISH FOOL! YOU TREAD IN WATERS THAT WILL DESTROY YOU! IF YOU WISH FOR DESTRUCTION THAT MUCH, I WILL GLADLY GIVE IT TO YOU!"
Laurent blushed deep with wide-eyed gaze which was what? Awe? Shock? The last thing she wanted to do was hurt him. Still, she couldn't stop as she screamed and derided at him for his constant checking in on her, like some fussy mother hen, his callous, self-righteous gaze--constantly judging all those he met as not enough, and even that he dared be so handsome and appealing and unattainable and yet. Though it all, he blushed and gave faint, pleading protests that he had merely been looking out for her. It didn't stop her other side's rage. She bellowed until her rage was spent, and when it was done, Noire was left with nothing but the broken pieces.
When she was finally finished, she gasped for breath. "O-Oh...I'm..."
He did not meet her eyes. "I...apologize. I must be going..."
She couldn't bear to watch him leave.
Oh, she'd ruined everything. Noire hung her head. She shouldn't known that she couldn't keep her other side hidden forever. It was a fool's errand. Surely he'd heard of it before, Laurent kept an eye on everyone in the army. He would've known about how she lost control. But, oh, she'd wanted to keep this pristine for a little while longer. Because now that it was gone, all she wanted him to be here again, even if he was telling her to check her bow again and be careful on the battlefield, and to be sure she ate.
*
Severa and Kjelle chatted after a long spar. The sun shone down on Kjelle's purple armor, enough to nearly blind Noire. Severa had managed to keep her surprisingly fashionable, sleek clothes pristine, even through the dust of training. As they spoke, Severa kept putting her fingers through her red hair.
As much as it felt like she was intruding on something more, and the faint knowledge of the tension between those two seen in peripheral, Noire kept firing at targets.
Each hit would lesson the pressure in her mind and maybe if she practiced enough, her other side wouldn't burst forth today and ruin anything else.
As Laurent passed by, and nodded at each of them in turn. This time, he had no comments to make. As he came to her, his gaze went to the ground, with flushed cheeks as he left.
Noire's again felt that rush, that blush as he went by. She almost wished he'd tell her to take better care of her bow. She buried her face behind her bow. Of course, he'd want nothing to do with her now that she completely exploded on him. She should've known that she'd go and ruin everything in the end.
It was all becoming clearer. Of course she thought about Laurent constantly because she feared for him, that he would step too far in the dark path. That was obviously the only reason. But oh, now that she'd exploded on him, how was she supposed to him? He would surely avoid her, and even might ignore her warnings.
She let out a sigh and began to check her bow. She'd trained so much, she'd have to grab another one from the armory soon. Maybe she'd see him there. He often organized the convoy. Noire squished down that hope before it became something more.
"I can't believe we didn't get a lecture from Professor Egghead over there," Severa said.
"Feh, as if I don't know how to care for my own spear," Kjelle said. Kjelle rolled her eyes heavenward at that. Nobody in the entire army cared more for their armor and weapons more than Kjelle, after all. Often, right after meals, she'd completely leave to do hours of training, then preparation for the next battle.
So that confirmed it. He likely checked everyone. Him hanging about her only meant that she was weaker than everyone else, not special to him. Really, that very thought was preposterous...
She knew it, and hadn't really believed, yet....
They continued on with their conversation.
"His latest thing is 'correcting stances.' He's probably never even lifted a sword in his life, and now he's telling me the 'optimal' way to swing one?"
Noire looked away. Even if parts of his brought forth her other side, he still wasn't that bad. Yes, he was frank, even to the point of being somewhat callous at times, and his comments made her other sight want to ignite on sight, it was really based on kindness and concern about the entire group. She kept rubbing over her bow, over and over. She never thought she'd welcome a lecture, but it'd been days since he'd talked to her. Even if she knew he was just watching over the entire army, at least he'd be paying attention to her again. Even if it was meaningless to him.
Severa tossed her red hair indignantly. "Don't tell me you're afraid of him, Noire. The only thing he could do was bore us to death," Severa said.
Kjelle chuckled beside her. "Really, he's a mage. You could probably just scoop him right up and carry him away."
"A weirdo like him would probably like that," Severa said.
"He's surprisingly strong," Noire said softly. She remembered the first time she'd seen his Sorcerer robes, and everything it'd revealed. She blushed deeply at the memory.
"For a mage. I'd like to see him lift even a bronze spear without falling over," Kjelle said.
Severa smirked at her remark.
These days they'd grown closer, constant sparring partners both in bickering and on the training field. Noire could sense some kind of different energy between the two of them. She couldn't even begin to know the words to explain it.
Kjelle brushed back her dark hair, and smirked. "He should take it to the battlefield instead. Go and Lecture the Risen about taking care of their weapons until they ran on any spear they could find to escape it."
Noire could feel her other side below the surface. Two sides were shifting, so different. Part of her wanted to defend him. He was just keeping them safe, and working so hard at that. Keeping them from dying was not worthy of mockery. The other side thought Maybe Laurent would know, since he knew everything. Always lingering over people's shoulders, telling them what to do, with such a condescending, callous gaze. As if he thinks he's better than everyone.
She forced her thoughts to shift away from that, before her other side could whisper I will wipe that smug, self-satisfied smirk off his face and make him cower at my boots.
Before that side could spring free and grasp control away and ruin anything else in her life.
"Besides, Laurent's too much of a square to ever hurt you. He's not the type to play around. He'd probably propose before a single date to make it all 'proper,'" Severa said.
Noire blushed. "It's not that--!" Noire protested.
It didn't make sense. She'd fought by and against other dark mages, and they never made her this embarrassed. She didn't think about them like this, until every other thought was Laurent. Even her thoughts of him were fractured as her other self brought up rage to meet the feelings she couldn't explain in mere words.
Suddenly, the rage overflowed.
"QUIET, YOU FOOL! MY MOTIVATIONS WILL NOT BE QUESTIONED BY THE LIKES OF YOU! YOU HAVE NEVER SPOKEN CLEARLY OF YOUR FEELINGS ONCE IN YOUR SHORT LIFE!"
Severa was used to her outbursts, and simply grimaced, and pushed one of her red pigtails back with her hand. "Don't go freaking out. Nobody cares if you have a crush on that egghead. Really, you're making such a big deal over nothing. He's just a guy; not someone from a different clan that's sworn to kill your family or some forbidden love that no one can speak the name of, because everyone's obsessed with stupid marriage and babies. He's boring and annoying, but dependable and would probably make a good husband, if you're into that. You could do much worse."
"He's decent enough, for a man, I suppose. Certainly better than some of the other fools in this army," Kjelle said.
Severa smirked. "You'd never have to worry about taxes or cleaning, because he sure loves keeping things neat. He'd probably do all the shopping, too."
Noire shuddered as the rage overtook her. She clutched her talisman. "MOCKING ME WILL BE YOUR VERY LAST BREATH, YOU UTTER WRETCHES!"
Severa rolled her eyes. "Nobody's mocking you. We're just stating the facts you refuse to face. Just go tell him you have a crush on him already. This whole misdirection is as embarrassing as some of the stories of how our parents got married after knowing each other for two minutes."
"A C-crush? You all think I have a crush on him?" Noire said softly.
"It's pretty obvious. To everyone but you, apparently," Severa said. "When you talk about him you always get all weird and blushy. Besides, I would've be surprised if he's got the hots for you, too. He's always been hanging around you all the time lately, and he even switched classes to Sorcerer completely out of the left field. Leave it to the genius in our army to be totally stupid about his feelings."
It rose up again. The very indignity of them explaining to her what she could barely understand herself. Laurent suddenly changing his entire course of life to become a Sorcerer? Laurent's soft smile, and gentle, yet firm voice as he asked if she'd eaten for the third time that day?
"THE ONLY CRUSH IS HOW I WILL CRUSH YOU WITH A RAIN OF ARROWS!"
Kjelle, however, wasn't bowed by her other side. Instead a light came in her eyes, ready to fight. "I wonder if her other side would be as challenging a fight. She's got a sharp tongue, but maybe she's like Severa: all bark and no bite."
Severa whirled around on Kjelle. "Excuse me? I'd be gladly let you taste my steel, because I assure you, it's just as sharp as my tongue," Severa said.
"Get in line, because first I'm going to test my mettle against Noire," Kjelle said.
Noire let out a dark laugh and lifted her bow. "IF YOU THINK YOU CAN DESTROY THIS VESSEL SO EASILY, YOU ARE MISTAKEN. TASTE MY WRATH!"
Kjelle lifted up her spear, with an eager grin. "Bring it on!"
Severa let out a sigh and shook her head. "I better go get Brady before you two idiots get each other killed."
But both Noire and Kjelle were laughing too loud while they furiously sparred to hear her muttered comment.
*
As the days passed, she couldn't stop thinking about him. His absence only made it grow worse. They said absence made the heart grow fonder, well for her it made her other side come up at the slightest provocation. So that would make it what--absence made the heart grow more violent and long for blood?
And she couldn't stop thinking about him. The approximately two minutes of sleep she managed a night between the nightmares, and the panic were being stolen away by an entirely new set of Laurent-related worries. Wasn't he cold like that? Was he being corrupted by dark magic? Why was he always checking up on her, did he really think she was that weak? And even worse, why hadn't he come back to check on her again? She was split in two: part of her wanted him back, part of her still felt a simmering rage at the thought that she was seen as a pathetic weakling who constantly needed coddling.
But through it all, there was a worry that overpowered all her fear and rage. Laurent had no idea what he had stumbled upon. He was plenty smart, but his journey into the dark path could only leave him broken.
Even if he hated her completely, she had to face him once more and warn him. Dark magic was dangerous, and putting curses upon himself, oh! He could hurt himself in a way that not even a cure staff could help.
It wasn't like she was thinking of the way the sun caught his blond hair or how she'd stood behind him in the mess hall and all she could do was stare at the lines of his back. And it wasn't like she was always thinking how intelligent and handsome he was, and how lucky they that he worked so hard on the war effort.
Okay, maybe a little. Just a little. But everyone thought about him like that, right? Okay, maybe not Severa and Kjelle, but certainly the rest.
But everything she'd meant to say was forgotten at the sight of him. He really was so composed, and attractive. Unfairly so, even. She clutched her talisman to steady her. What instead came out was a battle cry.
"BOW AND SUBMIT TO YOUR MASTER, WEAKLING."
She returned to control to find her other side had dipped him, and been half on the way to what--claiming him in a kiss? Oh!
Laurent blushed so deeply. Noire drew back suddenly, nearly dropping him in the process.
"I'm--I'm so sorry!"
"I'm not," Laurent said. His lips were slightly parted, and oh so kissable. (Where had that thought come from? Her other side?)
"I'm sorry I couldn't hold her back. I tried so hard, but I couldn't..."
"Hold her back? I could not stand such a thing! Your rage is so utterly beautiful, like the force of a storm. Truly, I have never felt more alive than when I was near both sides of you."
"Both sides? You actually like her?"
"Yes, absolutely! And, while, in truth, I did feel the need to search for such bountiful wells of knowledge that dark magic can provide, I had other motives as well."
Noire gasped. "Other motives?!"
Laurent nodded. "Yes... my attempts to catch your attention had not worked. Thus, I believed that perhaps I needed to research some Plegian custom I was missing."
"Wait, all that time you were flirting? with me?"
"Is that so hard to believe?"
"You thought telling me to take better care of my bow and scolding me to eat was flirting?" Noire said incredulously.
"Yes, showing care and affection are part of a relationship, thus it is logical that showing them would be a sign of wishing to begin a relationship. In fact, my mother and father married because of her constant reminders for him to not forget his axe."
Her head was reeling. Every single conversation her emotions had swirled under the surface, mixed resentment that this side of Laurent wasn't fully hers, resentment that he was scolding her, resentment that his attention only meant he worried about the army and saw her unfit...all that time he had been flirting with her?
"And too, I must admit that I theorized Plegian attire was not merely because of the intense heat, but also like a bird and its plumage in terms of courting. It does show many assets."
He held up his arm again in that weird gesture. Noire still had no idea why he kept doing that. Noire had to look away at that. His assets were a little too distracting. "Um, I-I wouldn't know about that..."
"Hmm, perhaps my theory was off then. When I asked my father about courting, he said 'flexing' would do the trick. I attempted to follow his example, but it was most foolish looking. However, this Plegian attire seemed a kind of 'flex' in its own."
Noire blushed. "Ah...."
Laurent continued on. "However, your mother in no undue terms told me anyone unworthy of her child would be cursed with such fury. Your father suggested that the only way to your heart was to fight 'fire with fire.' Or, as he put it, 'curses with curses, nyahaha.' I sought to prove my worthiness, and thought this would catch your eye."
Noire gasped. "Y-You apprenticed to my m-mother? Y-you thought curses would win my affection?"
"No. I learned from books, and a seal meant for changing one's path. She was most thorny in the prospect of speaking to me again after that, though your father was quite glad to speak of dark magic with me."
His brow furrowed. "You see, your father spoke of courting your mother with 'wizard fights' I assumed it was a custom in your culture. To win your heart, I would have to take a different path. So I strove what I could to be worthy of asking for your hand."
Noire let out a cry. So that was why he kept mentioning wizard fights. "There's nothing I'd like less!"
"Then, this is not an integral part your culture? Hmm, perhaps I have made a grave misjudgment," Laurent said.
She touched to her talisman. "FOOLISH MORTAL. HAD YOU LISTENED TO THE PATHETIC WHIMPERINGS OF THIS VESSEL, YOU WOULD HAVE SURELY KNOWN WHAT THIS WEAKLING THINKS OF DARK MAGIC!"
Laurent blushed at this. "Ooh...Perhaps I was too caught up in the plans and I missed the obvious."
Noire held her bow to her breast, returned back from her rage. There was an apology on her lips, but for once she didn't have to apologize for her fractured self.
"Um...It's really true? You actually like her? I..don't have to hold back? I don't have to beg and grovel for forgiveness?"
"Yes, absolutely! Her fury is so powerful and wonderful, and such a perfect compliment for you. Both sides of you are so fascinating and beautiful. I want nothing more than to be near all of you."
"All of me..."
Noire glanced away. "The truth is... I...couldn't stop thinking about you. Maybe I was always thinking about you and just pushing it aside. And there was so much to focus on. The war, saving this time and preventing the disaster of our time from happening, staying alive... But when you changed to a Sorcerer, I couldn't explain it away anymore. And I couldn't stop staring at you. I thought I was just worried that you would get corrupted, but that didn't explain the..." She couldn't say in words, and it frustrated her.
"But I still am worried about you as a Sorcerer, um..."
It would be so embarrassing to try and say that she'd always felt something, but saying to his face that she wanted to rip away those filmy robes and then what? Kiss him? More? That embarrassment shifted to a deep anger.
"A WEAKING SUCH AS YOURSELF WOULD MAKE A PATHETIC GRIMLEAL. IF YOU WANT DARK MASTER TO SERVE, THEN BOW AT MY FEET!"
Laurent clasped his hands, his eyes were filled with wonder. "Oh, truly, Noire, nothing would please me more!"
She returned to herself, to find him closer than ever. She let out a little gasp at the proximity.
"I'm really glad," Noire said softly.
"One thing I must bring up, are the 'wizard fights.' I found that potential courtship ritual most fascinating. Of course, with your other side, I would likely be sounded beaten and dominated and forced to plead at your feet for mercy every single day... Oh the thought is so wonderful, I can barely bear it..."
"Oh, we can spar. In fact, um, that other side of me will be happy to spar. I have to warn that, um, she hits pretty hard."
"Splendid!" Laurent said.
