bonnefois | fanmix: Fallen - a Kyoko/Sayaka mix

I started to write a prompt and got partway through into a fic exploring Kyoko's faith being shaken with the events of her backstory, and yet not completely being able to let go of it.

The fic isn't done yet, but this mix is. This started out as simply Kyoko faltering from faith, but a bit of Sayaka's breakdown (and Kyoko/Sayaka) slipped in there as well.

Zip. Password: falter

For Tactican's birthday <33

The Eels | God's Silence
(instrumental)

Regina Spektor | Hero
He never ever saw it coming at all
it's all right it's all right it's all right
He opened wide here comes original sin
it's all right it's all right

Sixpence None The Richer | Circle Of Error
And by the way when I kneel to pray
It never seems you're there

Sarah Mclachlan | Dear God (cover)
Dear God, hope you got the letter, and...
I pray you can make it better down here.
I don't mean a big reduction in the price of beer
but all the people that you made in your image, see
them starving on their feet 'cause they don't get
enough to eat from God, I can't believe in you

Glass Pear | My Ghost
And when I turned to see your face
I saw a joy I could not place
Vanishing without a trace
Like a shadow in the sun
Who can you trust in this place?
Where can I put my faith?
If God is love then why's the world
The way it is?

Tim Be Told | Reach For The Light
You cry yourself to sleep while you bury your emotions inside
And dug yourself too deep and a part of you is starting to die
You called out from under the fallout but none of the soldiers could hear a sound
Thinking maybe 'someone will save me' but all of the life boats keep letting you drown
So you tried to save yourself
But they rescued somebody else
Hold tight, it'll be alright
Reach for the light at the edge of the dark

Sarah McLachlan | Fallen
heaven bend to take my hand
and lead me through the fire
be the long awaited answer to the long and painful fight
truth be told I've tried my best
but somewhere along the way
I got caught up in all there was to offer
and the cost was so much than I could bear
though I've tried I've fallen I have sunk so low
I messed up better I should know
so don't come round here and tell me "I told you so."

The Fray | You Found Me
I found God
On the corner of First and Amistad
Where the west
Was all but won
All alone
Smoking his last cigarette
I said, "Where you been?"
He said, "Ask anything".
Where were you
When everything was falling apart?
All my days
Were spent by the telephone
That never rang
And all I needed was a call
That never came
To the corner of First and Amistad
Lost and insecure
You found me, you found me
Lyin' on the floor
Surrounded, surrounded
Why'd you have to wait?
Where were you? Where were you?
Just a little late
You found me, you found me
In the end
Everyone ends up alone
Losing her
The only one who's ever known
Who I am
Who I'm not, who I wanna be
No way to know
How long she will be next to me

Boyce Avenue | Iris (cover)
And I'd give up forever to touch you
'Cause I know that you feel me somehow
You're the closest to heaven that I'll ever be
And I don't wanna go home right now
And all I can taste is this moment
And all I can breathe is your life
When sooner or later it's over
I just don't wanna miss you tonight
And I don't want the world to see me
'Cause I don't think that they'd understand
When everything's made to be broken
I just want you to know who I am
And you can't fight the tears that ain't coming
Or the moment of truth in your lies
When everything feels like the movies
Yeah, you bleed just to know you're alive

Bell xi | Flame
Your flesh it melts in my mouth
Like Holy Communion
But you don't really care for
Jesus now do you?
A photograph of this love
Hangs on my wall
I would dare to speak its name
If I knew what it was called
I would dare to speak its name
If I knew what it was called
Rattle the one who's shadow
You're standing in
Under the branches after
It's been raining
On your flame
I wanna be near you
And blink in your light
And toast marshmallows
On a cold dark night
By your flame

Ben Folds | Mess
there was a time when I had nothing to explain
oh, this mess I have made
but then things got complicated
my innocence has all but faded
oh, this mess i have made
and I don't believe in god
so I can't be saved
all alone as I've learned to be
in this mess I have made

Matchbox Twenty | Downfall
I want you to remember
I want you to believe in me
I want you on my side
come on and lay it down
I've always been with you
here and now
give all that's within you
be my savior
and I'll be your downfall

Counting Crows | Rain King
And I said mama, mama, mama, why am I so alone
I can't go outside
I'm scared I might not make it home
I'm alive, I'm alive
But I'm sinking in
If there's anyone at home at your place, darling
Why don't you invite me in?
Don't try to bleed me
I've been there before
And I deserve a little more
I belong in the service of the Queen
I belong anywhere but in between
She's been lying and I've been sinking
And I am the Rain King
Hey, I only want the same as anyone
Henderson is waiting for the sun
Oh, it seems night endlessly begins and ends
After all the dreaming I come home again
When I think of heaven
Deliver me in a black-winged bird
I think of dying
Lay me down in a field of flame and heather
Render up my body into the burning heart of God
In the belly of a black-winged bird
Don't try to bleed me
I've been here before
And I deserve a little more

Marina And The Diamonds | Electra Heart
Can’t we go back, go back to the start?
Where the holy father made his park
Lights they blind me
Can’t we go back?
Lights they blind me
For forgiveness you could always pray
That the sickness, it could go away
Lights they blind me
At the altar, would you pay the price?
Would you give your? Would you give your life?
Lights they blind me
For forgiveness

SafetySuit | Hallelujah
Maybe there’s a God above
But all I’ve ever learned from love
Was how to shoot at someone who outdrew you
It’s not a cry you can hear at night
It’s not somebody who has seen the light
It’s a cold and it’s a broken Hallelujah