ext_238071 ([identity profile] homoroto.livejournal.com) wrote in [personal profile] bonnefois 2005-11-30 02:11 am (UTC)

x) Aww

I agree with Ele5-- I really loved this part:

Yanagi always said that Yukimura was the only one who could change Sanada’s mind,
because it is Yangagi it is forgiven, when Niou repeats the same phrase, it is not and he receives the stern edge of punishment.


I felt like there should have been a semicolon instead of the second comma, or a period altogether, though. I noticed a few other parts like that, but I wasn't sure if it was a style you were going for or just the fact that you didn't get much of a chance to edit it, so yeah...

But I really liked it. :D I've been getting more and more into Rikkai pairings as of late. <3

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