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Entry tags:
fic: Everyone Loves Chrom
Title: Everyone Loves Chrom
Series: FEA
Character/pairing: Henry, many people > Chrom, FRobin/Chrom, ensemble,
Rating: PG-13
Word count: 2580
Summary: At this point, Henry assumes that being in love with Chrom is a Ylissean custom.
Author's note: Ever see the Henry/Cherche supports?
"It'll be just the three of us."
"You mean Chrom?"
"No, I mean Minerva!"
Also according to the Panne supports, Henry, unlike Tharja, actually IS Grimleal. (Also if you have not seen the Henry/Panne supports, please youtube them or grind them in game. They are some of the wildest supports ever.)
Pairs that show up but are not tagged due to being humorous content)
Sumia > Chrom
Cordelia > Chrom
Gaius > Chrom?
Frederick > Chrom
Vaike > Chrom
Chrom/F!Robin
Tharja > F!Robin
Found at the bottom of my drafts and finally brought to light. Enjoy.
Really, Ylisseans had some weird customs, and their sense of humor left something to be desired. He told Robin that he'd give her a hand and lifted up a Risen arm, except she hadn't thought it was funny at all. Which was a shame, because Henry still burst out laughing every time he thought of that one. Definitely one of his best quips.
But the custom that that seemed most prevalent was falling in love with the royalty. Specifically, Chrom. Henry had lost count of this guy's admirers. Even the village maidens swooned whenever he came to rescue them from brigands. Really, talk about a fad, everyone was doing it. And from what he could tell, they were doing it competitively, too. Though he couldn't tell who was winning in the depth of their affection: Vaike, Cordelia, Sumia, or Frederick, or Robin.
Maybe Robin, because she actually married him, but Frederick had to be scoring high, right?
And now, a dark horse! Gaius seemed like he could be picking up the customs, too.
"Maybe I'll fall in love with Chrom too, that sounds like fun," Henry said to himself.
*
Henry noticed Frederick's presence on the training grounds. Henry had just been about to curse the training dummies, because it would be hilarious if they came alive when they were being whacked and started screaming.
"A moment, if you will. You are following after Chrom," Frederick said sternly.
"So were you! And you aren't even the only one. Chrom sure has a lot of stalkers, huh?"
"Stalker? Hardly! It is my utmost duty to protect my liege," Frederick said indignantly.
"And mine, as a pegasus knight," Cordelia said.
Vaike shrugged. "Eh, Teach was just challengin' old Chrom to a match. I just figured you would take turns on the training field too."
"Actually, I just got lost on the way to the food tent," Sumia said apologetically.
Her sense of direction did leave something to be desired.
"And you?" Frederick said. His brow furrowed with suspicion.
"Also going to the food tent," Gaius said smoothly.
Frederick crossed his arms as he surveyed them. So this was why he was called Sir Frederick the Wary. At first, Henry had thought that it was 'Wherey' and it just meant that Frederick had as bad a sense of direction as Sumia. He kind of liked the first one better. That would've been way funnier than Frederick giving everyone lectures all the time.
"That does not explain why you have taken to following Chrom," Frederick said.
"Everyone seemed to have so much fun following him around, I figured it had to be some Ylissean custom. Nyahaha, I couldn't help but join in on your festivities!"
Frederick flinched at that. "Festivities..."
"Maybe you should unionize or form a club! Stronger together, nyahaha! We have nothing to lose but our chains. Though I like chains."
Sumia gasped. "A-A club? About Chrom?"
"Yeah, a We Love Chrom club, since you're obviously all....what is the word...oh, I remember, STALKING him!"
Frederick sputtered at this. "T-The utter impertinence."
"Aww, you're saying I was the only one stalking Chrom? That's no fun. But I can always go to Tharja for tips, because she's the best at it, nyahaah!"
"And likely get cursed fifty-two times in a second in the process," Gaius said.
"Even better!"
At this rate, Tharja's curses just bounced off and tickled anyways. It gave him a great chance to have a wizard fight, too. That was one thing that didn't happen nearly enough around here.
Really, with someone like Robin around, with all her yummy dark aura, Henry figured there'd be wizard fights daily. But, nope! None unless he bothered Tharja enough.
"Obviously, we are facing some...unknown custom of Plegia. However, a Chrom Protection Society could pool our resources and better protect my liege. So, I will admit that Henry has a good idea. This time, at least," Frederick said.
"I'll bring snacks," Henry said.
"I'm in," Gaius said.
*
Frederick provided paintings for the walls. Henry didn't know much about art, but they seemed awful naked. And he came from Plegia, where most of them practically wore nothing--being desert people and all. And that time that the king claimed that their god outlawed clothes. It was a funny story, he'd have to tell the Ylisseans sometime.
He just figured it was some Yllisean custom to worship a naked picture of their ruler.
Especially Frederick, who looked like he'd just love to be on his knees in front of his liege.
"Today marks the first of the Society For Protection of Chrom."
"Via unanimous vote, I was elected leader, Cordelia treasurer, Vaike as mascot and Sumia..." Frederick cleared his throat. "Keeper of the Pegasi."
"What's Gaius?" Henry said.
"The guy who just came for lunch," Gaius said.
"Oh~? You're really going to keep acting like you only came here for the food? You're like one of those--what are they called....tsun-something..." Henry said.
Gaius handed him a treat. "Try this."
"It's almost like you're trying to shut me up," Henry said thoughtfully.
"Almost like," Gaius said.
"Ahem, returning to the point. There is one pledge we take here, in the Society For Protection of Chrom. You must pledge to adore and protect our ruler until your last breath. Above wives and husbands, above friends and family," Frederick said.
"I do," Cordelia said, her voice filled with emotion.
"I agree but...I'd probably just drag he society down and cause trouble," Sumia said.
"I will help you improve. I know you have much potential," Cordelia said.
Sumia smiled shyly. "Thank you, Cordelia. You always believe in me," Sumia said.
"Teach is always gonna be Chrom's rival. No one is ever gonna get past that, no matter what."
"Don't get me wrong, I'm here for the free snacks, I'm certainly not entangled up with some royalty, just because he got me on this side and didn't jail me. But, he's been nice to me. I don't have anything against the guy, so sure. It's in my best interests to keep him safe," Gaius said.
"Wow! For someone who doesn't care about Chrom at all, you sure do follow him around and talk about him a lot! Does he have the best snacks?" Henry said.
Gaius looked annoyed. "Naturally," he said.
Henry brought black licorice, as deep and dark as dark magic and the night skies, but nobody else was interested Not even Gaius.
Whatever, more for him.
Sumia had baked cookies. Except apparently she'd tripped and managed to drop them into the fires, and leave them burnt black. No one else would touch them, but Henry kind of liked the ambiance. Like a cursed hallway filled with the souls of the vengeful dead. They were burned black, smelled like risen and would probably kill him later on. But that made him only like them more. Because food was even more fun if it might kill you.
"And you, Henry?" Frederick said sternly.
"And me, what?" Henry said.
'Do you so swear to adore and serve Chrom in everything, above god and country?"
Henry had already signed up on a whim to completely destroy his country, and it looked like they were going for his god, too. Which was fine with Henry, his god kind of was pretty demanding, anyways. Always wanting destruction of all humanity and never even remembering his birthday. What did they get from worshiping a horrible demon dragon anyways? Nothing that Henry could remember.
Oh, except pain and destruction and death and the end of the world. That was fun, but missing his birthday was a deal breaker.
"Sure," Henry said, with the exact same amount of thought he'd made before he decided to switch sides and kill his rulers and former god.
"So, when are we going to get to the lovey-dovey love letter writing part? Look, Cordelia already finished hers!" Henry said.
Cordelia gasped. "Y-You read my diary?"
"That was a diary? I thought it was just the Ylissean custom to write love letters to Chrom....everyone's doing it. Cordelia, Sumia, Vaike, Gaius hasn't yet, but it's implied," Henry said.
Gaius gave him an irritated look.
"Hey now, what Teach does isn't love letters. Just because I go walking in the woods and write 'Vaike and Chrom Rivals 4ever' doesn't mean anything. All rivals do that!"
"Yes, it is quite normal to write that upon trees, many within Ylisse have been inspired to show our adoration of our future Exalt in outwardly fashions. This is a perfectly fine feeling for a liege," Frederick said. His voice was full of pride.
"Poor Ylissean trees. At this rate, the place will become a desert," Henry said under his breath.
They continued on with the meeting..
"...Why isn't Robin here, anyways? Nobody, except Frederick, keeps Chrom from doing stupid things more. And Robin is always around Chrom. I think she's a fan."
"I will ignore that slight upon my liege's....recklessness, and take that into consideration."
"I mean, she's probably a fan considering that she married him," Gaius said.
"Oh, then she's a super fan," Henry said.
"We will discuss new membership in the next meeting. Thus ends the first meeting of the Society For Protection of Chrom. I feel it was reasonably fruitful," Frederick said.
Henry took the rest of Sumia's cookies as he left. She looked remarkably relieved to see someone enjoyed her cookies.
"Just think what dark magic I could make with these," Henry said, to no one in particular.
*
The whole gang showed up right at the tactician tent. Chrom was who-know's-where. Robin still looked a little sleepy.
"You want me to join the Society For Protection of Chrom?" Robin said.
Frederick nodded. "Of course. We are utterly dedicated to the continued well-being of our beloved Prince Chrom. Few have done more to protect him than you," Frederick said.
Robin smiled. "How things change...I remember when you worried that I would betray Chrom."
Frederick cleared his throat. "I must thoroughly vet people for my liege. After all, Chrom and Lissa are so very trusting and loving, they would even take former thieves into the fold."
"I guess I can't fight that one, it's pretty accurate," Gaius said.
"You're basically already a member, considering you're totally besotted with Chrom too."
Robin smiled. "Well, that shouldn't be a surprise, considering," Robin said.
Henry let out a cheer. "Unionized our stalking! We stalk better together!"
"Chrom is my husband. I don't think it's possible for me to stalk him," Robin said.
"You just need to try harder. Anything is possible if you try! If you want, Tharja can give you plenty of tips!"
"Ah, then. I'll join. As tactician, and....well, we'll have lots to talk about. Besides, I'm sure Chrom would want me to...ahem, keep an eye on everything. I'll be there," Robin said.
And so, they got another member.
*
Frederick was just beginning the meeting, complete with new art which he had personally done. Chrom was still butt-naked in these art, too. Man, Ylisse sure loved to see their ruler naked.
Or, maybe that was just Frederick.
"I can't believe I didn't think to call it 'Chrom's harem,'" Henry said suddenly.
"W-what?" Robin sputtered.
"That's basically what we are. I'm so glad that I joined this army, so I can be a part of Chrom's harem."
"A harem of rivals? Sure," Vaike said.
"Or we could've called it 'Dear Chrom, we're DTF--"
"What's DTF?" Sumia said.
Frederick cut Henry off before he could speak. "Don't you dare explain. We already have a name. We are Society For The Protection of Chrom, and that is final."
"Oh, okay. By the way, when are we going to go kill Plegia's god already?"
"You mean Grima, the fell dragon? Of course, defeating Plegia is on the top of my list--"
From the shadows, Tharja appeared.
"There is a Society For the Protection of Chrom, but none for Robin? This is an....outrage. I won't stand for this...."
"So are you going to make it? Because if you do, I'm joining that one too! You'll give me lots of tips, right, Tharja?" Henry said eagerly.
"You deserve a thousand curses for vexing me," Tharja said.
Henry had a huge grin. "Ooh, sounds like a blast! Sign me up!"
"Just one question, will there be food involved? Preferably sweets?" Gaius said.
"Robin shaped cookies, made with utmost love, and then eaten with such pleasure..." A suggestive and dark smile came over Tharja's face.
"Oooh, kinky!" Henry said.
"Tharja is a pretty good cook. She's rather devoted to her craft," Robin said.
"No one is more devoted than I," Tharja said.
"Such devotion is admirable... Though it still pales in comparison to my devotion for my liege," Frederick said.
Several of the Society nodded.
"Nyahaha, are we rivals now? I might just join both teams for fun! Then again, I already was on both teams."
"Me too. I like Robin just fine. Plus, it means double the sweets," Gaius said.
"Oh no, Robin and I discuss books all the time. She's really nice. Do I join too?" Sumia said.
"Robin was a wonderful friend to me who comforted me in my time of need. I truly respect her. I would gladly join any club made to protect her," Cordelia said.
"See, I've stolen them all away," Tharja said. She laughed darkly. "Now, they join Robin's side."
"Nah, we just like both," Gaius said.
The door of the tent opened, and Chrom himself ducked in.
"What is all this racket, now?"
"Your harem," Henry said.
Chrom looked so taken aback, it was like he'd got a sword to the chest. (Except with no fun bloodshed this time. Aw.)
"M-My what? Frederick, what is this?"
Frederick cleared his throat. "My liege, this is the Society For The Protection of Chrom. Many of your more devoted and loyal subjects have set about ways to keep you safe."
"And now they've started one for me, too," Robin said. She smiled. "The things we get into."
"A club for protecting Robin, too?"
Chrom's brows furrowed.
"I will take your sign up, but only if you promise to protect her with your very life," Tharja said.
"I already did, when I married her."
"Consider me a member," Chrom said.
"Oh, wow! Chrom joined Robin's fan club. What was it called again?"
"Robin's devoted," Tharja said.
"Where do I join? Robin's got the darkest aura of magic I've ever seen. Definitely the kind of person you'd want to kill god beside."
Chrom sighed. "How did we even get into this?"
"Well, first it started with some crows..." Henry said.
Series: FEA
Character/pairing: Henry, many people > Chrom, FRobin/Chrom, ensemble,
Rating: PG-13
Word count: 2580
Summary: At this point, Henry assumes that being in love with Chrom is a Ylissean custom.
Author's note: Ever see the Henry/Cherche supports?
"It'll be just the three of us."
"You mean Chrom?"
"No, I mean Minerva!"
Also according to the Panne supports, Henry, unlike Tharja, actually IS Grimleal. (Also if you have not seen the Henry/Panne supports, please youtube them or grind them in game. They are some of the wildest supports ever.)
Pairs that show up but are not tagged due to being humorous content)
Sumia > Chrom
Cordelia > Chrom
Gaius > Chrom?
Frederick > Chrom
Vaike > Chrom
Chrom/F!Robin
Tharja > F!Robin
Found at the bottom of my drafts and finally brought to light. Enjoy.
Really, Ylisseans had some weird customs, and their sense of humor left something to be desired. He told Robin that he'd give her a hand and lifted up a Risen arm, except she hadn't thought it was funny at all. Which was a shame, because Henry still burst out laughing every time he thought of that one. Definitely one of his best quips.
But the custom that that seemed most prevalent was falling in love with the royalty. Specifically, Chrom. Henry had lost count of this guy's admirers. Even the village maidens swooned whenever he came to rescue them from brigands. Really, talk about a fad, everyone was doing it. And from what he could tell, they were doing it competitively, too. Though he couldn't tell who was winning in the depth of their affection: Vaike, Cordelia, Sumia, or Frederick, or Robin.
Maybe Robin, because she actually married him, but Frederick had to be scoring high, right?
And now, a dark horse! Gaius seemed like he could be picking up the customs, too.
"Maybe I'll fall in love with Chrom too, that sounds like fun," Henry said to himself.
*
Henry noticed Frederick's presence on the training grounds. Henry had just been about to curse the training dummies, because it would be hilarious if they came alive when they were being whacked and started screaming.
"A moment, if you will. You are following after Chrom," Frederick said sternly.
"So were you! And you aren't even the only one. Chrom sure has a lot of stalkers, huh?"
"Stalker? Hardly! It is my utmost duty to protect my liege," Frederick said indignantly.
"And mine, as a pegasus knight," Cordelia said.
Vaike shrugged. "Eh, Teach was just challengin' old Chrom to a match. I just figured you would take turns on the training field too."
"Actually, I just got lost on the way to the food tent," Sumia said apologetically.
Her sense of direction did leave something to be desired.
"And you?" Frederick said. His brow furrowed with suspicion.
"Also going to the food tent," Gaius said smoothly.
Frederick crossed his arms as he surveyed them. So this was why he was called Sir Frederick the Wary. At first, Henry had thought that it was 'Wherey' and it just meant that Frederick had as bad a sense of direction as Sumia. He kind of liked the first one better. That would've been way funnier than Frederick giving everyone lectures all the time.
"That does not explain why you have taken to following Chrom," Frederick said.
"Everyone seemed to have so much fun following him around, I figured it had to be some Ylissean custom. Nyahaha, I couldn't help but join in on your festivities!"
Frederick flinched at that. "Festivities..."
"Maybe you should unionize or form a club! Stronger together, nyahaha! We have nothing to lose but our chains. Though I like chains."
Sumia gasped. "A-A club? About Chrom?"
"Yeah, a We Love Chrom club, since you're obviously all....what is the word...oh, I remember, STALKING him!"
Frederick sputtered at this. "T-The utter impertinence."
"Aww, you're saying I was the only one stalking Chrom? That's no fun. But I can always go to Tharja for tips, because she's the best at it, nyahaah!"
"And likely get cursed fifty-two times in a second in the process," Gaius said.
"Even better!"
At this rate, Tharja's curses just bounced off and tickled anyways. It gave him a great chance to have a wizard fight, too. That was one thing that didn't happen nearly enough around here.
Really, with someone like Robin around, with all her yummy dark aura, Henry figured there'd be wizard fights daily. But, nope! None unless he bothered Tharja enough.
"Obviously, we are facing some...unknown custom of Plegia. However, a Chrom Protection Society could pool our resources and better protect my liege. So, I will admit that Henry has a good idea. This time, at least," Frederick said.
"I'll bring snacks," Henry said.
"I'm in," Gaius said.
*
Frederick provided paintings for the walls. Henry didn't know much about art, but they seemed awful naked. And he came from Plegia, where most of them practically wore nothing--being desert people and all. And that time that the king claimed that their god outlawed clothes. It was a funny story, he'd have to tell the Ylisseans sometime.
He just figured it was some Yllisean custom to worship a naked picture of their ruler.
Especially Frederick, who looked like he'd just love to be on his knees in front of his liege.
"Today marks the first of the Society For Protection of Chrom."
"Via unanimous vote, I was elected leader, Cordelia treasurer, Vaike as mascot and Sumia..." Frederick cleared his throat. "Keeper of the Pegasi."
"What's Gaius?" Henry said.
"The guy who just came for lunch," Gaius said.
"Oh~? You're really going to keep acting like you only came here for the food? You're like one of those--what are they called....tsun-something..." Henry said.
Gaius handed him a treat. "Try this."
"It's almost like you're trying to shut me up," Henry said thoughtfully.
"Almost like," Gaius said.
"Ahem, returning to the point. There is one pledge we take here, in the Society For Protection of Chrom. You must pledge to adore and protect our ruler until your last breath. Above wives and husbands, above friends and family," Frederick said.
"I do," Cordelia said, her voice filled with emotion.
"I agree but...I'd probably just drag he society down and cause trouble," Sumia said.
"I will help you improve. I know you have much potential," Cordelia said.
Sumia smiled shyly. "Thank you, Cordelia. You always believe in me," Sumia said.
"Teach is always gonna be Chrom's rival. No one is ever gonna get past that, no matter what."
"Don't get me wrong, I'm here for the free snacks, I'm certainly not entangled up with some royalty, just because he got me on this side and didn't jail me. But, he's been nice to me. I don't have anything against the guy, so sure. It's in my best interests to keep him safe," Gaius said.
"Wow! For someone who doesn't care about Chrom at all, you sure do follow him around and talk about him a lot! Does he have the best snacks?" Henry said.
Gaius looked annoyed. "Naturally," he said.
Henry brought black licorice, as deep and dark as dark magic and the night skies, but nobody else was interested Not even Gaius.
Whatever, more for him.
Sumia had baked cookies. Except apparently she'd tripped and managed to drop them into the fires, and leave them burnt black. No one else would touch them, but Henry kind of liked the ambiance. Like a cursed hallway filled with the souls of the vengeful dead. They were burned black, smelled like risen and would probably kill him later on. But that made him only like them more. Because food was even more fun if it might kill you.
"And you, Henry?" Frederick said sternly.
"And me, what?" Henry said.
'Do you so swear to adore and serve Chrom in everything, above god and country?"
Henry had already signed up on a whim to completely destroy his country, and it looked like they were going for his god, too. Which was fine with Henry, his god kind of was pretty demanding, anyways. Always wanting destruction of all humanity and never even remembering his birthday. What did they get from worshiping a horrible demon dragon anyways? Nothing that Henry could remember.
Oh, except pain and destruction and death and the end of the world. That was fun, but missing his birthday was a deal breaker.
"Sure," Henry said, with the exact same amount of thought he'd made before he decided to switch sides and kill his rulers and former god.
"So, when are we going to get to the lovey-dovey love letter writing part? Look, Cordelia already finished hers!" Henry said.
Cordelia gasped. "Y-You read my diary?"
"That was a diary? I thought it was just the Ylissean custom to write love letters to Chrom....everyone's doing it. Cordelia, Sumia, Vaike, Gaius hasn't yet, but it's implied," Henry said.
Gaius gave him an irritated look.
"Hey now, what Teach does isn't love letters. Just because I go walking in the woods and write 'Vaike and Chrom Rivals 4ever' doesn't mean anything. All rivals do that!"
"Yes, it is quite normal to write that upon trees, many within Ylisse have been inspired to show our adoration of our future Exalt in outwardly fashions. This is a perfectly fine feeling for a liege," Frederick said. His voice was full of pride.
"Poor Ylissean trees. At this rate, the place will become a desert," Henry said under his breath.
They continued on with the meeting..
"...Why isn't Robin here, anyways? Nobody, except Frederick, keeps Chrom from doing stupid things more. And Robin is always around Chrom. I think she's a fan."
"I will ignore that slight upon my liege's....recklessness, and take that into consideration."
"I mean, she's probably a fan considering that she married him," Gaius said.
"Oh, then she's a super fan," Henry said.
"We will discuss new membership in the next meeting. Thus ends the first meeting of the Society For Protection of Chrom. I feel it was reasonably fruitful," Frederick said.
Henry took the rest of Sumia's cookies as he left. She looked remarkably relieved to see someone enjoyed her cookies.
"Just think what dark magic I could make with these," Henry said, to no one in particular.
*
The whole gang showed up right at the tactician tent. Chrom was who-know's-where. Robin still looked a little sleepy.
"You want me to join the Society For Protection of Chrom?" Robin said.
Frederick nodded. "Of course. We are utterly dedicated to the continued well-being of our beloved Prince Chrom. Few have done more to protect him than you," Frederick said.
Robin smiled. "How things change...I remember when you worried that I would betray Chrom."
Frederick cleared his throat. "I must thoroughly vet people for my liege. After all, Chrom and Lissa are so very trusting and loving, they would even take former thieves into the fold."
"I guess I can't fight that one, it's pretty accurate," Gaius said.
"You're basically already a member, considering you're totally besotted with Chrom too."
Robin smiled. "Well, that shouldn't be a surprise, considering," Robin said.
Henry let out a cheer. "Unionized our stalking! We stalk better together!"
"Chrom is my husband. I don't think it's possible for me to stalk him," Robin said.
"You just need to try harder. Anything is possible if you try! If you want, Tharja can give you plenty of tips!"
"Ah, then. I'll join. As tactician, and....well, we'll have lots to talk about. Besides, I'm sure Chrom would want me to...ahem, keep an eye on everything. I'll be there," Robin said.
And so, they got another member.
*
Frederick was just beginning the meeting, complete with new art which he had personally done. Chrom was still butt-naked in these art, too. Man, Ylisse sure loved to see their ruler naked.
Or, maybe that was just Frederick.
"I can't believe I didn't think to call it 'Chrom's harem,'" Henry said suddenly.
"W-what?" Robin sputtered.
"That's basically what we are. I'm so glad that I joined this army, so I can be a part of Chrom's harem."
"A harem of rivals? Sure," Vaike said.
"Or we could've called it 'Dear Chrom, we're DTF--"
"What's DTF?" Sumia said.
Frederick cut Henry off before he could speak. "Don't you dare explain. We already have a name. We are Society For The Protection of Chrom, and that is final."
"Oh, okay. By the way, when are we going to go kill Plegia's god already?"
"You mean Grima, the fell dragon? Of course, defeating Plegia is on the top of my list--"
From the shadows, Tharja appeared.
"There is a Society For the Protection of Chrom, but none for Robin? This is an....outrage. I won't stand for this...."
"So are you going to make it? Because if you do, I'm joining that one too! You'll give me lots of tips, right, Tharja?" Henry said eagerly.
"You deserve a thousand curses for vexing me," Tharja said.
Henry had a huge grin. "Ooh, sounds like a blast! Sign me up!"
"Just one question, will there be food involved? Preferably sweets?" Gaius said.
"Robin shaped cookies, made with utmost love, and then eaten with such pleasure..." A suggestive and dark smile came over Tharja's face.
"Oooh, kinky!" Henry said.
"Tharja is a pretty good cook. She's rather devoted to her craft," Robin said.
"No one is more devoted than I," Tharja said.
"Such devotion is admirable... Though it still pales in comparison to my devotion for my liege," Frederick said.
Several of the Society nodded.
"Nyahaha, are we rivals now? I might just join both teams for fun! Then again, I already was on both teams."
"Me too. I like Robin just fine. Plus, it means double the sweets," Gaius said.
"Oh no, Robin and I discuss books all the time. She's really nice. Do I join too?" Sumia said.
"Robin was a wonderful friend to me who comforted me in my time of need. I truly respect her. I would gladly join any club made to protect her," Cordelia said.
"See, I've stolen them all away," Tharja said. She laughed darkly. "Now, they join Robin's side."
"Nah, we just like both," Gaius said.
The door of the tent opened, and Chrom himself ducked in.
"What is all this racket, now?"
"Your harem," Henry said.
Chrom looked so taken aback, it was like he'd got a sword to the chest. (Except with no fun bloodshed this time. Aw.)
"M-My what? Frederick, what is this?"
Frederick cleared his throat. "My liege, this is the Society For The Protection of Chrom. Many of your more devoted and loyal subjects have set about ways to keep you safe."
"And now they've started one for me, too," Robin said. She smiled. "The things we get into."
"A club for protecting Robin, too?"
Chrom's brows furrowed.
"I will take your sign up, but only if you promise to protect her with your very life," Tharja said.
"I already did, when I married her."
"Consider me a member," Chrom said.
"Oh, wow! Chrom joined Robin's fan club. What was it called again?"
"Robin's devoted," Tharja said.
"Where do I join? Robin's got the darkest aura of magic I've ever seen. Definitely the kind of person you'd want to kill god beside."
Chrom sighed. "How did we even get into this?"
"Well, first it started with some crows..." Henry said.