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fic: As Long As I Am With You, The Dream Goes On
Title: As Long As I Am With You, The Dream Goes On
Series: FE4
Character/pairing: Sigurd/Deirdre
Rating: PG
Word count: 1,269
Summary: Sigurd and Deirdre, and happy moments in their marriage.
Author's note:
A treat for wingsofthenight.
They asked for Ceirdre/Sigurd: Missing scene between chapters 2 and 3, where Deirdre is pregnant with Seliph and they have a moment together.
Title comes from the Sigurd/Deirdre duo from FEH, specifically their 40 confession. here to see them. (I took a lot of inspiration for the setting for that duo as well.)
When she said that Edain had mentioned him, it was only a half truth.
Edain had, upon several occasions spoken his name. But, she knew Sigurd of Chalphy long before she met him.
She'd seen his face thousands of times before he came into her life. Through the sun-speckled forests. Her hands deep in dark water, the weight of her curse on her shoulders, as heavy as a wet cloak weighing her down and dragging her into the depths.
Even when waking, she could clearly remember the face of the man in her dreams, both waking and sleeping. He was with her like a ghost, haunting her long before she met or first heard his nae.
All through her life, the dreams came. His strong arms reaching out to something she could not have.
So when she saw him, she knew.
She'd loved him all along. Each step in her life was one to get closer.
When he reached out his hand for her, she took it.
*
She rested her hand on her stomach. Despite her loose white robes, she showed.
Old whispers of doom to come were banished. Every night she burned sage to cleanse away the curse. Her lips mouthed old lullabies from the ancient language, in preparation for when she would sing them to her child.
A son. She was sure of it. As sure as she was the moment she set eyes upon Sigurd, and knew he was the man she would love and marry.
And she tried to push back the fear that this child would be touched with a curse, because nothing from Sigurd of Chalphy could ever be horrible.
And her husband did what he could to help her acclimate. Outside the forest was sometimes loud, and strange. The manners and decorum of nobles were difficult to follow. To him, public gatherings and balls were commonplace. To her, they were the most loud and unimaginable bright wonders.
The occupation of Agusty was long and grueling. At times, the soldiers and nobles would have gathering.
All of these were foreign, brilliant and even unfathomable to her.
But, Sigurd always stayed with her. He held her hand tight though these official presidings, and events, none of which she knew much about.
Deirdre knew how to name and find the herbs which could heal, how to dry them and properly prepare medicine to heal many ills. She knew of planting in rich soil and the ache on her shoulders as she hauled the heavy wooden barrels to the few dry places within the forest, where the land was tilled.
Deirdre knew of magic, of prophecies and dreams. But, she barely knew a single dance step. Could not follow small talk, or the politeness which marked so much of the noble houses.
At every point, Sigurd was there. His hand was in hers, to guide her step. He never faulted her shyness or confusion even for a moment.
*
"There you are," he said.
She'd left the crowd behind. It wasn't even a grand ball this time, merely a slightly loud dinner. Lex had come to dine, and he always managed to make an uproar.
"Sorry, Sigurd...I felt dizzy suddenly. I came to my herbs to find something to aleviate the pain."
He gave her a concerned look.
"Are you all right?"
Her hand rested on her stomach, still. It felt like a miracle, this son who would be theirs one day. Every day came closer to when there would be three of them in this little family.
"Yes...I simply get tired sometimes. It's normal for my condition."
She shifted her gaze down.
"I didn't mean to be rude. When you see him again...please let him know my apologies."
"Oh, no worries there. Lex cares nothing for politeness."
She noticed that his hands were full of white flowers.
"I brought these to cheer you up, from my patrols earlier on. They reminded me of you."
They'd slightly wilted. She'd have to teach him how to dry and keep flowers properly.
She smiled.
He pushed a lush white blossom behind her ear. It was almost lost in the thick paleness of her hair.
"There," he said.
"You look even more lovely. Imagine that. It hardly seems possible."
She fell in love with him a little more, as impossible as it seemed. It was as if every step in her life was falling in love with Sigurd of Chalphy.
Like a dance they were dancing all along without ever knowing.
Her whole life, she'd been waiting and dreaming for the moment he would step forth from her dreams and into her arms.
*
When the nightmares came, and they always did, he brought her to his chest and kissed her head.
Because with the light of Sigurd, came the darkness of hellfire and indescernible shapes. The images were indescernible horrors that would drag her down, down, down until she never saw Sigurd again.
No matter how much she tried to reassure herself they were only dreams, she could not quite shake the feeling of unease whent hey came.s
"I'll never let anyone ever hurt you. I swear it," Sigurd said.
She wanted to believe the promise. That this nightmare was nothing but indistinct shapes and nothing that would ever manifest into her life.
Lightning didn't strike twice. Just because one dream came true, didn't mean every nightmare had a meaning. Sigurd promised her happiness, and she trusted him, believed him.
She rested her head against his chest. His fingers slipped through her long white hair.
The hair so reminiscent of Cigyn before her. Her entire bloodline was filled with tragedy that had come to bear upon her shoulders. Despite everything, she wanted to believe that she could buck fate and be the one of her line who found happiness past the warnings.
That she would be the exception, the one to break the curse and prove fate wrong.
She could find happiness with the man she loved, and had loved so much of her life, before she even met him.
"Are you feeling better now?" Sigurd said softly.
She nodded and smiled. With Sigurd near to her, no shadow could linger for long. And dreams would just be dreams.
"You've made me the happiest man imaginable, Deirdre. I'm so glad I met you. I can't believe I'm going to be a father."
"You'd be a good father," she said.
It had the force of a prophetic words.
"And you'll be a wonderful mother. I know it," he said.
"I'll teach our son or daughter to wield a weapon, to ride. And you could teach them about plants. You know so much about them. Every time we walk in the gardens, you tell me their names and what tinctures they could be used in."
He smiled then. Her beloved, how beautiful he was when he smiled...
"We'll see our child's first steps. We'll hear their first words. I bet it'd be your name, the first thing our baby says."
"Or, it could be yours," she said.
I love you more than I fear my fate, she thought.
And that was what. The reason she left the woods even with the warnings, why she took his offered hand to this strange world. She loved him long before she ever met him, and would love him all her life.
"I love you so," is what she said.
Because she did not wish to cast any more shadows upon them, not now.
"I as well," Sigurd said.
She rested against him, tight in his arms with the warmth of the blankets about him. The coldness of magic, the red light, and the fire of her nightmares were pushed aside for now.
"Have you thought of names? Would you name them after flowers?
"What, you would call them Daisy or Aster of Chalphy?" Deirdre said.
"If you willed it," Sigurd said.
He pulled her closer, because he was always pulling her closer. He never missed a chance to reach out and entwine his fingers with her, or tell her just how much he adored her.
"Julia for a girl, and Seliph for a boy. Those are the names I've been thinking."
"Julia and Seliph.... I like them. I like them very much. Hopefully, soon this time in Augusty will finish, and I can return home with you. I have so much to show you, Deirdre."
In his embrace was a kind of warmth that burned out all her doubts in that moment. A risk she would take, even if the world was scorched to ash around them.
"The trails I love to ride, the beautiful lake near the forests where I used to summer. I want to share it all with you. Every beautiful thing about my homeland."
"I'd love to see it all by your side," she said.
And she thought, whatever my fate is, I would always choose you, Sigurd.
Series: FE4
Character/pairing: Sigurd/Deirdre
Rating: PG
Word count: 1,269
Summary: Sigurd and Deirdre, and happy moments in their marriage.
Author's note:
A treat for wingsofthenight.
They asked for Ceirdre/Sigurd: Missing scene between chapters 2 and 3, where Deirdre is pregnant with Seliph and they have a moment together.
Title comes from the Sigurd/Deirdre duo from FEH, specifically their 40 confession. here to see them. (I took a lot of inspiration for the setting for that duo as well.)
When she said that Edain had mentioned him, it was only a half truth.
Edain had, upon several occasions spoken his name. But, she knew Sigurd of Chalphy long before she met him.
She'd seen his face thousands of times before he came into her life. Through the sun-speckled forests. Her hands deep in dark water, the weight of her curse on her shoulders, as heavy as a wet cloak weighing her down and dragging her into the depths.
Even when waking, she could clearly remember the face of the man in her dreams, both waking and sleeping. He was with her like a ghost, haunting her long before she met or first heard his nae.
All through her life, the dreams came. His strong arms reaching out to something she could not have.
So when she saw him, she knew.
She'd loved him all along. Each step in her life was one to get closer.
When he reached out his hand for her, she took it.
*
She rested her hand on her stomach. Despite her loose white robes, she showed.
Old whispers of doom to come were banished. Every night she burned sage to cleanse away the curse. Her lips mouthed old lullabies from the ancient language, in preparation for when she would sing them to her child.
A son. She was sure of it. As sure as she was the moment she set eyes upon Sigurd, and knew he was the man she would love and marry.
And she tried to push back the fear that this child would be touched with a curse, because nothing from Sigurd of Chalphy could ever be horrible.
And her husband did what he could to help her acclimate. Outside the forest was sometimes loud, and strange. The manners and decorum of nobles were difficult to follow. To him, public gatherings and balls were commonplace. To her, they were the most loud and unimaginable bright wonders.
The occupation of Agusty was long and grueling. At times, the soldiers and nobles would have gathering.
All of these were foreign, brilliant and even unfathomable to her.
But, Sigurd always stayed with her. He held her hand tight though these official presidings, and events, none of which she knew much about.
Deirdre knew how to name and find the herbs which could heal, how to dry them and properly prepare medicine to heal many ills. She knew of planting in rich soil and the ache on her shoulders as she hauled the heavy wooden barrels to the few dry places within the forest, where the land was tilled.
Deirdre knew of magic, of prophecies and dreams. But, she barely knew a single dance step. Could not follow small talk, or the politeness which marked so much of the noble houses.
At every point, Sigurd was there. His hand was in hers, to guide her step. He never faulted her shyness or confusion even for a moment.
*
"There you are," he said.
She'd left the crowd behind. It wasn't even a grand ball this time, merely a slightly loud dinner. Lex had come to dine, and he always managed to make an uproar.
"Sorry, Sigurd...I felt dizzy suddenly. I came to my herbs to find something to aleviate the pain."
He gave her a concerned look.
"Are you all right?"
Her hand rested on her stomach, still. It felt like a miracle, this son who would be theirs one day. Every day came closer to when there would be three of them in this little family.
"Yes...I simply get tired sometimes. It's normal for my condition."
She shifted her gaze down.
"I didn't mean to be rude. When you see him again...please let him know my apologies."
"Oh, no worries there. Lex cares nothing for politeness."
She noticed that his hands were full of white flowers.
"I brought these to cheer you up, from my patrols earlier on. They reminded me of you."
They'd slightly wilted. She'd have to teach him how to dry and keep flowers properly.
She smiled.
He pushed a lush white blossom behind her ear. It was almost lost in the thick paleness of her hair.
"There," he said.
"You look even more lovely. Imagine that. It hardly seems possible."
She fell in love with him a little more, as impossible as it seemed. It was as if every step in her life was falling in love with Sigurd of Chalphy.
Like a dance they were dancing all along without ever knowing.
Her whole life, she'd been waiting and dreaming for the moment he would step forth from her dreams and into her arms.
*
When the nightmares came, and they always did, he brought her to his chest and kissed her head.
Because with the light of Sigurd, came the darkness of hellfire and indescernible shapes. The images were indescernible horrors that would drag her down, down, down until she never saw Sigurd again.
No matter how much she tried to reassure herself they were only dreams, she could not quite shake the feeling of unease whent hey came.s
"I'll never let anyone ever hurt you. I swear it," Sigurd said.
She wanted to believe the promise. That this nightmare was nothing but indistinct shapes and nothing that would ever manifest into her life.
Lightning didn't strike twice. Just because one dream came true, didn't mean every nightmare had a meaning. Sigurd promised her happiness, and she trusted him, believed him.
She rested her head against his chest. His fingers slipped through her long white hair.
The hair so reminiscent of Cigyn before her. Her entire bloodline was filled with tragedy that had come to bear upon her shoulders. Despite everything, she wanted to believe that she could buck fate and be the one of her line who found happiness past the warnings.
That she would be the exception, the one to break the curse and prove fate wrong.
She could find happiness with the man she loved, and had loved so much of her life, before she even met him.
"Are you feeling better now?" Sigurd said softly.
She nodded and smiled. With Sigurd near to her, no shadow could linger for long. And dreams would just be dreams.
"You've made me the happiest man imaginable, Deirdre. I'm so glad I met you. I can't believe I'm going to be a father."
"You'd be a good father," she said.
It had the force of a prophetic words.
"And you'll be a wonderful mother. I know it," he said.
"I'll teach our son or daughter to wield a weapon, to ride. And you could teach them about plants. You know so much about them. Every time we walk in the gardens, you tell me their names and what tinctures they could be used in."
He smiled then. Her beloved, how beautiful he was when he smiled...
"We'll see our child's first steps. We'll hear their first words. I bet it'd be your name, the first thing our baby says."
"Or, it could be yours," she said.
I love you more than I fear my fate, she thought.
And that was what. The reason she left the woods even with the warnings, why she took his offered hand to this strange world. She loved him long before she ever met him, and would love him all her life.
"I love you so," is what she said.
Because she did not wish to cast any more shadows upon them, not now.
"I as well," Sigurd said.
She rested against him, tight in his arms with the warmth of the blankets about him. The coldness of magic, the red light, and the fire of her nightmares were pushed aside for now.
"Have you thought of names? Would you name them after flowers?
"What, you would call them Daisy or Aster of Chalphy?" Deirdre said.
"If you willed it," Sigurd said.
He pulled her closer, because he was always pulling her closer. He never missed a chance to reach out and entwine his fingers with her, or tell her just how much he adored her.
"Julia for a girl, and Seliph for a boy. Those are the names I've been thinking."
"Julia and Seliph.... I like them. I like them very much. Hopefully, soon this time in Augusty will finish, and I can return home with you. I have so much to show you, Deirdre."
In his embrace was a kind of warmth that burned out all her doubts in that moment. A risk she would take, even if the world was scorched to ash around them.
"The trails I love to ride, the beautiful lake near the forests where I used to summer. I want to share it all with you. Every beautiful thing about my homeland."
"I'd love to see it all by your side," she said.
And she thought, whatever my fate is, I would always choose you, Sigurd.