fic: Deep Underneath

[bonnefois]

Title: Deep Underneath
Series: TF2
Character/Pairing: Scout/Miss Pauling, Spy/Scout's mother, Demoman
Rating: PG-13
Word count: 14626
Summary: AU. When a woman falls overboard, a merman named Scout saves her from the deep. When she kisses him in a desperate attempt for air, by his customs, they're betrothed. After she disappears, he seeks out a sea witch to finally go Above and find her again.
Author's note: This came from a dream I had, and is actually not entirely a Little Mermaid AU, though, I added a ton of parallels because it amused me. It's modern AU with a shade of accidental marriage and accidental soulmate, because why not?

There's some canon-typical gore related to her job.

Cottoncandy_bingo: Swimming.

There's a fanmix Here



Deep underneath the waves, far beyond the knowledge of humans, a world existed. Shining, pristine, a small pearl hidden away in the depths. Or at least, that's what was on the travel pamphlet Sebastian wrote. He always was a pretentious fuck like that. Who the hell would make a pamphlet for a place nobody went? Sebastien, that's who.

According to his Ma, once they had roamed the entire ocean, saving and destroying sailors, depending on their whims. Now they were relegated to legends, and stuck within the barrier that hid their kingdom from prying eyes. At least, most of them. Scout was too busy breaking every speed record known to merkind. Sunlight shone on from above, shimmering down from a world he'd only seen in glimpses.

He looked up wistfully, and shook his head. Later, later, there would always be later. Now, he had to work on his apology game. Scout reached out to sift his fingers through the sand. He'd almost gotten his fine ass bitten by a Moray eel earlier, but if he could just make this one find, he'd be able to dodge his Ma's wrath.

"Cmon, c'mon...there's got to be some around here!"

He was lucky he didn't get his fingers snapped by a flounder, or a sea urchin right to the palm, with the way he was going. But, after a few moments, he felt something hard under the surface of the sand.

"Score!" He held up clams in both hands, his ticket back there and out from his ma's bad side. Dinner, and maybe enough to make ma some new jewelry. He'd be out of the dogfishhouse for sure.

The barrier shone in the last sunlight. The whole city was protected deep underneath the land of man, known only as Above. Going through the dome of light always sent a shock through his system, but it was worth it just to a hint of the wonders of that place so close, and yet so far. In those tide pools, he could hear all about Tavish's knowledge. From fascinating ships, to treasures, and most of all: bikini season.

Scout wove through the streets. He'd had to dial down the speed to keep from dropping his new treasures, with his bag filled full of so much gold, he couldn't fit a single clam in there. But the payout would be worth it the next time he found Tavish. He might even get another sporfleblarg.

Sebastien was waiting out for him, his arms crossed. Even his pristine suit looked full of snobby disdain. One of his chucklenut brothers was over there laughing, knowing he would definitely be getting the third degree. Scout stuck his tongue out at his brother. "You're toast, Michael," he muttered.

"How kind of you to deign to join us," Sebastien said. Even though most of his face was covered by a mask, his frown was very clear. "There is only one rule, and somehow you manage to break it."

Scout rolled his eyes. "You need to live a little, stop bein' such a crab." He smirked at his joke. Sebastien muttered something under his breath. His enchanted suit almost just covered his long red legs. "Ma's pearls ain't goin' to find themselves. Besides, whatcha goin' to do? Pinch me? Come on, I was just stretchin' my fins. You can't keep me cooped up in here all the time."

He swished from side to side, speeding around every jab. With his spindly legs, Sebastien couldn't hope to catch up to him, though the arms of his human half almost grabbed hold of him a few times, Scout was just too fast for him.

"Besides, look at else I got. A genuine sporfleblarg!" He proudly lifted up the metal implement, like it was a scepter.

Sebastien curled his lips in disgust. "That's a spoon, you imbecile," Sebastien said.

"But, Tavish said it was! And he's from Above. He knows his Above stuff!"

Sebastien rolled his eyes. "When a man and a bottle of alcohol get to know each other very well, he turns into a complete idiot."

Scout just stared at him, blank and uncomprehending.

"He's lying to trick you, or completely drunk. Knowing him, the answer might even be both," Sebastien said.

"Wait, you know Tavish?" Scout burst into a big grin.

"We've met," Sebastien said dismissively.

"Wait, a minute, wait a minute--does this mean you've been straight to Above?" Scout said.

"Yes, many, many times. They don't make suits like this Below," Sebastien said. He smoothed his gloved hand over his dull red fancy suit.

"Really? Then why don't you ever tell me about everythin' up there?" Scout said

"Because you'll get some ridiculous plan to go beach yourself so you can flirt with women and break your mother's heart. Again."

"I just wanna visit a little, I'd come back eventually. It's so frickin' boring around here. I'm supposed to sit around here, studyin' crap and for what? I ain't ever goin' to have the friggin' crown," Scout said.

"Already we must protect our world from those tireless people trying to take pictures, and young idiotic princes who keep trying to flirt with girls in bathing suits."

"They were hot, okay. Real hot, you would've done the same if you saw how hot they were," Scout said.

Not even Sebastien's elaborate mask could hide the depth of his disgust.

"Do you want to be put in an an aquarium?"

"And get hot girls ogling me all day? Bring it on! They can rub fins with me any day."

Sebastien let out a sigh, and buried his forehead against his palm. "It's like you exist to make your mother sad," Sebastien said.

Scout grimaced. "Hey, pullin' the Ma card is a low blow. Not surprisin' for some bottom feedin' shellfish person like you, but--"

Sebastien reached out and nearly pinched him. As usual, Scout was much too fast for him.

"You know what, screw you. I'll go talk about my sporfleblargs with Tavish," he said. He threw down the clams, and rushed off, far beyond Sebastien's reach.

*

Overall, the company's new policy of shark enrichment was working very well. Far less burying bodies under the hot sun, scraping at hard-packed earth and forming new blisters all over her hands. In fact, the creatures below would do most of the work for her. She even had a good excuse for the blood on her boat, considering she'd bought an old fishing boat, and kept some of the fish for alibi purposes. Of course that wouldn't help her if they actually tested the blood, but she figured the ship would be sunk to the bottom of the sea long before that ever happened. Plus, given she was in international waters, she would be harder to take to trial if she ever got caught. Always a win.

Over the years, Sophie had gotten used to destroying the evidence. She'd learned the best way to dismember and bury bodies, how to get teeth out and crack skulls in record time. She even knew how to light up fire hot enough to even destroy the safes and filing cabinets, and cut her destruction time in half. Now humans, they didn't burn too well, but one of her coworkers was really good fire, and she'd learned how to make even that method work for her. She always kept this special gasoline on hand, made by the local pyromaniac at the bases, just in case she needed to ensure that no evidence was ever left behind.

Through the years, she'd learned how to forge, how to fake evidence and completely destroy lives. By comparison, these executions had been downright merciful. A bullet in the brain, and then the sea did the rest of the work for her. She hadn't even fed them to the sharks alive.

She hummed as she worked attaching the weights to the legs of each corpse. They were bloody enough that the water was stirred up with a feeding frenzy in seconds. For a moment, she couldn't help but imagine herself like one of those people in infomercials. Now with 100% more sharks, makes disposing of bodies easy. No mess, no digging in a hundred degree weather!

She couldn't help but laugh to herself as another poor bastard got shoved overboard. The infomercial announcer went right on in her head. Shark 'O Clean: Cleans up bodies fast! The water turned red as sleek gray shapes flailed just beneath the surface. Only three more to go and she'd be done. Of course, she'd have to wash down the evidence, but she'd have at least earned herself a drink.

She got into a rhythm of attaching weights, and it was so methodical that she didn't even notice that some of the cords had tangled and caught in her laces, at least not until she was gripping towards the side. She desperately reached and tried to undo her boots. Upside down, she swung perilously close to the water. A vicious tug pulled her under before she could even catch her breath.

The water was so saturated with blood that she couldn't make out anything but red swirls, and gray thrashing creatures. A shark brushed against her, rough and brutal, like nothing she'd felt. She shuddered and tried to swim away, only to be drawn in and tangled further. It was only a matter of seconds before she'd be torn apart.

So this is it. I really fucked up this time.

Karma could be such a motherfucker sometimes. She deserved it, though. That's what she got for torturing and killing so many people. And destroying companies, families, and the occasional bar. It wasn't so much giving in as realizing the truth, except for the moment the body snapped from the cord, dragged away by something else.

But Sophie wasn't one to simply take her fate. All she would have to do is breathe in water and she could go out before they got to her. But before she could, she felt a sharp tug, and she was being dragged further and further into the depths. Her glasses had fallen away. She'd somehow escaped the sharks, but there was no possibility of being able to hold her breath long enough to reach the surface. The brightness of the sky above was a distant dream, a bit of light shimmering on the too far surface.

She sunk down deep into depths with a speed she hadn't realized possible. In the moment, she hadn't realized the pressure about her waist. The water was still cloudy and stained red, but she could just barely make out something. A hand, perhaps. Her mind tried to process everything--a person, the sharks--and came up blank. A scuba diver? A swimmer? She couldn't tell, only that his lower half was nothing more than red and shimmery.

The surface was too far away. She'd never make it. Saved from sharks, only to drown. There was some kind of Murphy's law in there somewhere.

Her lungs burned. She desperately looked up. She wouldn't last, she wouldn't last. Without her glasses, everything blurred, but she could just see enough to realize he wasn't wearing a mask, or any kind of tubes. Not a scuba diver? What kind of person would be this close to a shark feeding frenzy, anyways?

Maybe he was like one of those cable reality shows. Like that strange drive in guy with the hair that looked like something out of a Japanese cartoon. She could just see it: Swimming With The Sharks, next on Shark Week.

Her last moments would be thoughts of television of questionable quality. How sad. Her only companion for the past six months had been bottles of wine, sugary cereal, and re-runs of Chopped.

She tried to reach up to the surface, where sunlight was lost in the red water. Air. She needed air. With no air tank for her to borrow (was he a pearl diver?) she gripped his face and pulled it to hers. His lips were warm enough to lose herself in relief and the desperate wonder of this moment--and that she was still breathing at all. She felt air bubbling between their mouths. Everything came to focus on his lips. She held on tight, subsisting on borrowed time and borrowed breaths.

She was nearsighted, not blind without her glasses. This close, she could just make out a man with gills--gills?--on his neck. She felt scales beneath her hands, only to realize she'd accidentally touched... Tail?

He broke into a big grin, revealing some very sharp teeth. Those had to be fake as well. Like the Halloween candy ones, or veneers.

Someone in a Merman costume swimming with sharks? This had to be reality television, that was for sure, because nothing else made sense. Unless...

"So, you come here often?"

His gaze was tender and even somewhat flirty as he shielded her from shapes she couldn't see in the depths. It'd been so long since she'd been on a date, half the time Bidwell had to tell her someone had been hitting on her.

She shook her head. Her mind boggling. How could he talk so clearly underwater? Shouldn't it have came out garbled?

She blinked. A bubble? She was no longer underwater, but caught in a large air bubble, floating along. A shame her glasses were gone, because all the colors blended like an impressionist painting. He seemed as surprised as she was. But she could see him just fine, from the broadness of his shoulders, a swimmer's v of abdominal muscles, not overly built, a lithe sort of strength. At first she had been so caught up in the near-death, she hadn't even realized the closeness. Her heart beat so rapidly, and not just from the danger this time.

"Whoa, I never made one of those so big--you must be good luck."

A magic bubble underneath the sea? This was going way beyond cheesy special effects and bad cable reality television.

Option one: she would wake up from a dream and/or coma. Option two: reality was a whole lot different than she'd previously thought.

Then again, she had fought real--though not particularly good wizards before. Perhaps she needed to trim her expectations on what kinds of creatures were around.

"You ain't got nothin' to worry about. Those sharks couldn't catch me if they tried. Speakin' of which, there's another one. Hold on!"

Sophie didn't dare look back. She clung tight, her face against his warm chest as he dove deeper into the sea. At first she was afraid to even dare to breathe, but as she grew more desperate, and the thought that another kiss might get them both eaten, she exhaled. Nothing happened. No water filled her lungs. She could breathe.

(And yet, a part of her regretted that there wouldn't be just one more kiss, maybe just a little one. Preferably far from the sharks.)

He dove deep under an outcropping of rocks, and swam up so sharply that schools of silvery fish dispersed around them.

"Feel how warm the water is around me? That's all me, baby. I'm so fast, I boil the water around me. Or maybe, the water's just blushin' because I'm so sexy."

Well, if he ever did go on Swimming With The Sharks, with that ego, he'd fit right in with the Hollywood crowd.

"Hey, we're here! We just gotta get through this. Enjoy the view, and I don't just mean the city!"

She saw a underground palace, with houses made of stone and large clam shells. A shimmering light covered it, like a dome. A shock filled her to the core, until everything turned to a dark night. She could faintly hear his voice, but with every moment, it grew more and more distant.

*

It wasn't just one bubble, but a whole nest of magic shimmering red bubbles that surrounded her. Scout kept circling her. More bubbles appeared, in different colors. Purple and blue ones covered her up, like a blanket.

"What were you thinking bringing a human down here?"

"Hey, I saved her. She fell down out of a ship, and I got her away from sharks. Man, were there ton of them, feedin' on some dead stuff. But I was waaay too fast for those gray assholes. But she suddenly fainted just as I got her down here. I guess kissing me was that much of a shock," Scout said.

"She kissed you?" Sebastien frowned.

"Yeah, out of the blue. I was surprised too, but when she did...it was amazin'," Scout said. He smiled to himself dreamily, his tail flicking in sheer joy of it all.

"Regardless, she's from Above," Sebastien said gravely.

"She--she's goin' to be okay, right?" Scout said, a sudden hitch in his voice. "I checked and she didn't have any bites from the sharks."

"She cannot stay down here. You know the rules. Not that you ever cared to keep them. The worries you put your mother through--"

"For fuck's sake, I can't stay cooped up here! I got places to go! Besides, I found my mate here. What'd you call it? That f word?"

"Fiancee," Sebastien said.

"Yeah! I gotta go show her to Ma, and show her around the place."

Sebastien reached out to touch the nest of bubbles. Scout rushed to block him.

"Hey, don't pop 'em!"

"Who made this? The structure is quite sturdy," Sebastien said.

"What? Me, I guess. I don't know. One minute I was kissin' her and the next there was this barrier when I saw some sharks behind us. I didn't even know I had this magic stuff in me, but poof, there it is. Shouldn't be surprisin', I guess. I'm good at everythin'. Of course I'd be good at magic crap."

Sebastien didn't respond.

"Go visit your mother. I believe you owe her many pearls for all this," Sebastien said quietly.

"Oh, crap. I gotta get to that right away," Scout said. The clams were just where he'd left him. Good thing his brothers got the message, and didn't dare touch his turf, lest he give 'em a sound thrashing.

Once Scout had left, Spy spoke aloud. "It was a dream. When you awake, you will think it a ridiculous one."

Sebastien motioned up. The nest of bubbles drifted out of the room and rose up towards the surface. Towards a beach, back to a life far beyond the depths.

*

"Hey, Ma!"

A large clam shell throne adorned the middle of the room. Red coral had been moved in, and often flipped over and carved to make other chairs. Over the years, he'd brought back not just enough pearls to give her jewelry, but enough to have pearls strung together and draped across the windows, and hung from the ceiling.

She wore a new circlet of pearls carved into coral that had been inlayed with gold, and two Mother of Pearl combs in her dark hair. At the rate he was going, he'd have enough pearls to make her a fancy dress, too."She turned towards him, and put her hands on her hips. "Sebastien says you've been bein' a little shit again. Nothin' new there, I suppose."

"A real shit gettin' all these clams! I mean look at em, there's probably enough pearls for a whole necklace, right? Or a new set of those ear do-dads."

Colleen took the load of clams, and gave him a skeptical stare.

"You ain't half bad at bribin', that's for sure. Sebastien must've taught you a thing or two. Now, c'mere. What is this I hear about you playin' with sharks?"

"I wasn't playin', Ma. I found a girl from Above, and she kissed me!"

Colleen set the clams down beside her throne of shells and coral and pearls. She looked him over, and lifted his arms up to inspect the latest scars he always inevitably got. Overall, a little nick was nothing compared some of the gashes he'd come home with over the years.

She clicked her tongue disapprovingly. "Well, at least you didn't come with a bite out of your tail this time," she said.

"I was way too fast for those stupid gray blobs to even get near me. And I-I might've done magic too? No, I mean I definitely did magic. It was great magic, too. All bubbly and stuff!" Scout spread his hands wide. "At least this big!"

"Magic? Of course you could've been doin' magic all along if you'd actually stay in classes," she said.

"Maaa."

She ruffled his hair. "You goin' to introduce me to your mate?"

"She passed out. I was too hot for her, I guess."

"I'm sure the sharks had nothin' to do with it," she said dryly.

"Course they didn't. I used magic and protected her. Couldn't tell you how, just one minute she was kissin' me and the next minute it was there. Boom. Amazin'!"

"Yeah, you mentioned that. But knowin' you, this is all I'm goin' to hear for the next hundred years."

Scout smirked. "You know what they say: a flipper is worth a thousand words."

"More like a hundred-thousand words with you," Sebastien said.

Scout rolled his eyes. "Geez, him again." Scout gave Sebastien a withering glare. "Ma, can't you get a retainer who isn't such a crab?"

"He's very necessary. You'll just have to learn how to get along," Colleen said. She looked at her nails, and latest pearl jewelry. Scout's last apology time had given her a nice bracelet.

"I'm goin' to go back and check on her," Scout said. "Maybe she's up now! I can't wait to show her around."

"I'll be along in a bit," Colleen said. "I'm sure Sebastien has things to fill me up on."

"Or with," Sebastian said in an undertone. She laughed. He looked back, but Scout had already gone.

*

Scout stared at the empty room in disbelief. He rushed to the window, only to find nothing but the usual scenes. His brothers swimming around with other mergirls, the racing team he'd been banned from for being too fast.

He looked back, completely forlorn. Sebastien stood solemnly at the entrance.

"She left? Without even sayin' goodbye? But...she's my mate! My fiancee!"

He swam from side to side in the room, pacing out as he tried to make sense of the turn of events. It hadn't even been more than a few moments. She couldn't have gotten away in that amount of time. Sharks couldn't get past the barriers...maybe she'd woken up?

A thought made him freeze. Magic was unreliable, and he had never been very good at it to begin with.

"Did you see her? She didn't break the bubble, did she? Oh god, if she..."

Sebastien pulled down his gloves. "She couldn't survive down here. Would you have preferred I left her to drown, or be feasted upon by the sharks?"

"Wait, you did this to her?" Scout balled his fist. "I'll--"

"The bubble was on the verge of breaking. Your magic is always so flighty. No surprises there, I suppose."

Scout's tail began to curl inwards on itself. He looked back to where she'd been, now nothing but empty seawater and light.

"The bubble was goin' to let loose? I couldn't even keep a good bubble goin'?"

"I could already see the cracks," Sebastien said.

Scout's fists slowly uncurled, and fell to his sides.

"I wanted to talk to her.... I wanted to say so much. We just found each other, and I don't even know her name yet. She was goin' to meet Ma."

"She went back Above, where she belongs. You should forget all about her. Find a fiancee who fits you," Sebastien said.

"Forget about her? Are you fuckin' kiddin' me? She's my mate! She's the one who fits me! I went head to head with sharks for her, and I'd take everythin' in the deep and beyond just to keep her safe and happy."

Sebastien's lips curled in disgust. "Face it, you've known her for less than a day. You're being reckless--"

"Reckless? I'll show you reckless!" Scout rushed out, leaving a trail of bubbles in his wake.

Sebastien let out a long sigh. "Yes, you are so very talented at being reckless."

*

Scout left a note on his mother's pillow before he went to the barrier. It shimmered, iridescent with power, and far thicker, and stronger than before. Scout put his hand to bubble of light, only to feel a harsher sting. Sebastien must've really ramped up the power.

Across his back was a bag from his latest find. The gold weighed him down, but he'd need it later, if he was going to trade with Tavish. Besides, what was a little weight in the end? It would just make him faster in the end.

He took a deep breath to steady himself. He remembered her beautiful green eyes, her dark hair undone and sweet curves. Most of all, he remembered the shock of her lips on his. Scout rushed with all his might, until he felt the barrier give and release him into the water. He glanced back at the bubble of a town, a castle, and a dwindling race kept to this one little space. Much too small for him.

His mother would be sad, but he'd find a way to write her. Maybe find a way to visit, even bring the girl back down. There had to be some way around it. If not, then he'd make a way. Just like he'd made his magic there around the sharks.

"Nothin's impossible with me around," Scout said to himself. He chuckled, and started back. He hadn't even left yet, and already he was steeped with old memories. The old sushi bar, the park where he'd swam laps and kept the record time, the castle room, where he left his mom's new jewelry for every time he messed up.

But none of them were as strong as the memory of her lips on his. That warm shock that changed everything. He swam straight for the surface, until he could see the skies of Above, the bright light of the sun shining down. Seagulls flew above him, occasionally diving into the water.

Scout swam towards shore, where he could already see the hints of his friend in the distance. Tavish's black pirate hat was at a tilt. His plaid kilt fluttered in the slight breeze, as he bent, and dipped his hands under the water and sifted them through the sand of the tide pools.

"Careful, they'll claw your hands off. I've tangled with those bastards before," Scout said.

"Aye, fishy lad," Tavish said. He lifted up his flask in a toast. "I was wonderin' when ye would show up."

"Hey, Tavish," Scout said. He pulled up a bag Tavish had given him, and hauled up a heaving, shining load. Gold pieces scattered over the rocks. Tavish reached out to steady the bag.

"Ah, sweet pirate doubloons. Ye know just how to make a man like me smile."

Scout just nodded. There was no joy in digging out treasure, or flirting with the girls, no joy in leaving sharks in his dust, not without here to share it with.

"Ye look so down. Ye aren't even swishin' about all cocky, talkin' about how you're the best. What is it, lad? Yae favorite starfish go missin'?"

For once, Scout found himself at a loss for words. How could he describe the girl? He didn't even know her name, but he sure wanted to. Those kisses beneath the waves had been unlike anything he'd ever felt. And since then, nothing felt right anymore. He could flirt with the girls around here, hang out at the local sushi bar and rub fins with the chicken of the sea gals and none of them gave him the same feeling as when that girl kissed him.

"Somebody―this girl–fell overboard. And nothin's been the same since," Scout said.

"Ah, a lass, isn't it? Ye finally found someone who made you go all topsy-turvy."

Scout rested his head on the rock. "Yeah...What would you do? I mean, if it all happened to you."

"I would go to a wizard and get cursed, loose an eye and go fight dragons with bombs," Tavish said. He took a swig from his silver flask. "But that's why no one comes to me for advice."

"A wizard, huh? With strong magic and stuff? I'm sure they'd know what to do! That's a great idea, thanks Tavish!"

"Glad to help, lad." Scout dove deep under the surface.

Tavish turned his attention to the coins.

"And glad to meet you dirty lady. Ooh, ye and me, we'll have lots of fun." He kissed each coin and laughed to himself. "A pirate's gold for me. Oh, yes. You and me are goin' to have one hell of a fun adventure together, but not in Vegas, not after what happened last time."

*

The wastes were far from the castle, a place so barren that even the reefs had turned gray and dead. There were rumors of a sea witch, with eels for pets. Scout had faced plenty of Moray eels who wanted to take a bite out of him. He wasn't about to let one of those slippery and toothy creeps scare him away from seeing her again.

The cave was dark, lit with some kind of glowing jellyfish captured in a barrier. Strange things were set on places carved into the rocks--he even saw a sporfleblarg in one corner, the silver faded to rust.

"Jeez, you mean the whole sea witch thing was a myth? I guess I have to go ask Tavish about a wizard." Just as he started to leave, a voice echoed through the room.

"There is more than what meets the eye, boy."

Scout squinted, but he still couldn't see anything.

"You sound kind of familiar," Scout said.

"Nonsense, you have never met me before," the Sea Witch said. His voice was raspy, and hoarse, with a striking accent.

"Eh, whatever. I don't care what you look like, as long as you're good for the magic. You got some legs for me? And I don't mean chicken of the sea legs, though those are good too. I'm talkin' real fine legs, enough that I can go on land and find my mate again."

"Magic requires a price," the Sea Witch said. Scout had to focus to see them, because he could only make out a faint indentation. Who knew that sea witches were like those one jellyfish? Scout didn't get too close, just in case this witch stung. He'd brushed up against those assholes way too many times rushing around the ocean.

"Please, I've dug up tons of treasure in my day. You want gold? I got gold. In fact, just give me a second and I'll give you a whole boatload up doubloons. I don't even know what to do with 'em. Started trading them for sporfleblargs."

"You traded gold for spoons? You imbecile!"

"Spoons? Of course I ain't tradin' them for anythin' that sounds so stupid. It's sporfleblargs I'm after. Tavish says they come in sets. I'll give a bunch to ma, and she'll love them."

The Sea Witch muttered something. Scout thought it was a magic thing for a moment, but he caught a few swear words he recognized, in that same weird crabspeak Sebastien used.

"You got a brother?" Scout said.

"That is no concern of yours," the Sea Witch said coldly. "This is about you. Magic cannot be paid in gold; it is not that simple. And you must use this at the surface, or you will drown," the Sea Witch said.

"Okay, got it," Scout said.

"Ahem, I say again, magic cannot be paid in gold--"

"Look, pally, I don't care what I got to pay. If it means I get to see her again... it's worth it."

"Anything?" The Sea Witch said. His voice had gone silky. Scout didn't back down.

"Anythin'," Scout said.

He could almost see the Sea Witch move, shifting and slow, he was translucent like a jellyfish. A necklace with a bit of a glass bottle filled with something a pink color. Scout lifted it up to look at the contents, only to feel a sharp sting in his hand.

"--Ow, jeez!"

"I told you, don't drink that--the last time you--"

"Are you sure I don't know you? You sound like this one guy I know, kinda crabby-"

"Positive. Now, get swimming. I'll join you in a moment. I'll follow you there, because knowing you, you'll take it the minute you get outside this cave," the Sea Witch said.

"With no extra charge? Thanks, sea dude!"

"Don't thank me until the job is over," the Sea Witch said darkly. Scout paid little heed. He was rushing towards the mouth of the cave, and back towards her.

*

Scout stared up at the coming sunrise. The beach was empty. No girls in bikinis, or families playing in the sand. Tavish had taught him all about those words and important phrases, like Vegas, flask, bartender, get your ass over here and give me a beer, bikinis, g-string and I don't know this man.

He didn't even think much about girls in bikinis now, unless it was her in a bikini. Scout had half thought it didn't even exist. Everyone said he'd have a mate, but he'd rubbed fins with tons of girls and none of them made him feel like that.

He didn't know if there was any going back, but he couldn't stop now. Not with her out there in the Above. From the minute she had fallen into the water, there had never been a point where he could fit back into his old life.

Scout took a deep breath and downed the drink. His entire body tingled, as a shot of heat went from his toes upwards. Scout gasped for breath for a moment as scales and gills turned to flesh. As he tried to swim, his legs kicked in an uneven way which kept throwing him off course. This would take some getting used to.

Legs. Another word Tavish had taught him, and a beautiful one at that. Scout lifted up his legs and kicked at the waves.Each breath felt different. He stumbled forward face-first into the sand. The water that crested against him felt far stranger, the salt rough against his tender new skin. Being out in the air was so different than floating. He held up his hands for balance.

"Get back here!"

The Sea Witch was still invisible, though in this light, he could almost see a ghostly shape coming towards him. But Scout was too enthralled with his legs to pay him any heed. Scout let out a whoop and jumped down the sandy beach. "I'm doin' it! Oh, this feels---feels great. I'm really doin' it! I'm on land!"

"On land, there's these things called pants. Now put them on," the Sea Witch said.

"Pants? Ain't never heard about that. The only pants I know are the ones girls do when I come around!" Scout was so pleased with that quip that he gave himself a high five. He wasn't even sure the Sea Witch had hands to high-five him with.

High fives hadn't really caught on with the people of Below, though Scout sure had tried. Tavish had taught him all the things, headbutting, something called brofisting where you lightly punched each other, and of course, the almighty high five. Even calling it a 'flipper five' didn't sit right with his brothers.

Scout tried to pull it over his head. He was engulfed in the dark of rough material against his face. "Humans really do stuff like this?"

"No, pull that off right now," the Sea Witch said.

"You told me to put it on---"

"On your legs!"

Scout pulled the pants off, and tried to fit his legs into it. They clung to the wetness of his skin, but after some pulling, he managed to get them on. These things were made of a pair of deep blue and rough material that went around his legs like a sheath. It felt a lot like his scales had, but with a part. Scout lay on his back and did a split, and kicked out at the sky with his new legs. This would make swimming completely different―he didn't even have a tail anymore. Instead he had two flipper things, with a bunch of wiggly nubs. Scout chuckled to himself as he touched the biggest nubs together.

The sand felt completely different under his skin, than it had against his scales. It bunched around his new flippers, with all those wiggly little things at the bottom.

"If you'd stop playing with your feet, I've been trying to talk to you for the past five minutes," the Sea Witch said.

"Feet?" Scout said.

"Yes, and those are toes."

Feet, toes. It was all new, things Tavish hadn't even told him. That meant she even had them. He bet hers were super cute.

"Remember: all magic requires a price. I'll need your voice," the Sea Witch said.

"My voice? I..."

Talking was certainly up there on his favorite things to do. At least near racing and flirting with girls. From morning to night, almost every second he was awake was filled with ensuring that no silence ever settled near him. He'd even talk to himself if nobody would listen.

And that brought a whole slew of other problems. How would he ever find her again? Never mind that there were probably at least hundreds of people out there. If he couldn't even call out her name. Which reminded him, he didn't actually know her name.

He'd find a way. It was better than looking up at the sky from underneath and knowing she was somewhere out there. His fiancee, the girl who changed everything.

"Do it. For her, it's worth it," Scout said.

"Now, Scout, it's time for you to shut up."

He felt a pressure at his throat, like a vice. White smoke gathered about his face, swirling until it disappeared. He gasped for breath as he reached out. He opened his mouth, but no sound came out.

The Sea Witch said no more, not even a goodbye. At some point, he disappeared into the waves. Scout couldn't call after him, or say any takebacks. The giddiness had slipped into something like dread. But he swallowed it down. He'd find a way. He always did.

Scout sat on the beach, his gaze out to the waves. All he wanted to do was tell someone, and he couldn't say anything. He closed his eyes and tried to picture her. Green eyes, dark hair, and the kind of kiss that left him changed entirely.

Did she like sporfleblags? Tavish assured him that people had whole drawers full of treasures like that, and magic squares on the walls which could show you anything. He focused on her, not the fear, not the rising uncertainty. She was the one thing he was certain about, through all the storms, the Above and Below.

He'd find her no matter how long it took.

*

She usually didn't walk across the boardwalk, but her Vespa was being fixed by a coworker, and the weather had managed to be nice this evening.

The sunset cast hues of purple and gold over the beach. He'd lost his shirt somewhere along the way, and was spattered with droplets all over his skin. He rushed from one side of the beach to the other with a childish glee, leaping through the sand. The ocean foam splashed at his feet, and he breathed in the salt spray.

He fell back, spread eagle into the waves. For one startled moment, she thought he'd been hurt. The very fact that she cared was strange. She killed for a living. Mercy was one of the first things she'd had to dismantle in herself.

But moments later, he rose up, grinning to himself as he ran down the beach.

She shook her head. There was something about him. He was familiar in a way she couldn't quite place. A lost name, someone she was certain she'd seen before. The mere fact that for even a few surprised seconds she had cared that left it deep in her memory, like a thorn under her skin.

He waved at her, hopping a little in what seemed to be excitement across the sand. She drew back slightly as he rushed towards her so fast that she thought he might crash into her. He was soaked, wearing some too-big red shirt that clung to his skin, showing off every inch of muscle, and too-tight jeans that hugged every curve of his ass. He wobbled as he ran, as if he were already quite drunk.

He had gray stormy eyes filled with mischief, and a rakish smile to match. He was at once sleek and lithe, with a swimmer's body. Her cheeks heated as he came closer.

He pointed to himself, then her, seemingly not able to speak. His attempts to explain resembled interpretive dance.

"I don't really understand," she said.

He shook his head and tried to gesture something, but his hand movements were so quick she couldn't even tell if it was sign language.

"Can you write it down?"

He looked confused, and shrugged.

"That's...I have to get back to work now," she said.

He tilted his head as she started to go away. He waved his arms to get her attention, but she kept walking away.

He looked so sad, not like any usual beach heckler she'd ever known. She stopped and turned back once more.

"...Do you even have anywhere to go? Are you lost?"

He pointed back to the shore.

"Oh, a beach house? Is that what you're saying?"

He kept pointing to her, but his sign language certainly wasn't ASL. Maybe he was too drunk to talk, or knowing the crowd around here, maybe he was taking on some dare. Pick up a girl like a mime or something. Considering some of the men she'd met, she wouldn't be surprised.

"Well, goodbye," she said awkwardly.

He stood watching her, all the joy seeping out of his face. She pushed it out of her mind. She always had something else to finish. With one last glance, she saw him dive in to disappear beneath the waves for a moment. He returned moments later with a fish between his teeth.

Definitely some college frat boy doing pranks.

*

Scout caught sight of someone quite familiar seated at the bench in the sands just off one of the many places that sold colorful things. He'd tried to give them some doubloons, but they wouldn't take them. Tavish had taught him many things--and all were coming in handy now. He pushed through the crowd--another newness. Below, the fishes had parted when he came, lest he sink his teeth in and get a snack.

He barely caught himself, as he found a huge sword in his face. He leapt back, just out of reach of the sharp edges.

Tavish squinted at him, and then burst out laughing. "Either I'm not drunk enough or too drunk. I can't quite tell. Yae are that boy from deep under. The one who's always talkin' up a storm. I ain't seen you in the past few days. Figured you were down there chasin' some fish girl around, ehh?'

Scout nodded vigorously. He lifted his arm to flex his bicep.

"Aye, the gun show, that old classic. But yae ain't talkin'. Ye got a cold? Or...I smell the stench of magic about ye!"

Scout pointed to his legs. He raised one knee for Tavish to see.

"Yae went and made a deal with some sea witch?" Tavish shook his head. "Boyo, those types can't be trusted. They'll sneak in some nasty little clause. Like lawyers, but with more tentacles."

Scout shrugged. It wasn't like he had much of a choice.

"So, what brings ye up here? All that fish booty ain't enough, and you gotta get yourself some land girls wrappin' their legs about yae waist?"

Scout smirked at that. He put a his fingers through a hole made by his other hand. Tavish laughed. "Already got yaeself a girl? Damn, lad. Ye work fast!"

Liam shook his head. He circled his fist around a single finger.

"And you accidentally married a girl, but you have to find a way to find her again? I know that feelin', lad. It's why I don't go to Vegas anymore. Leave it to Tavish! A DeGroot never lets his friends down."

Scout touched his chest, his expression softening. Me? Really?

"We had drinks together, and my blood's mostly alcohol anyways, so we're practically blood brothers now."

Technically, Tavish had just been pouring the brown water from the bottle into the water, but Scout didn't contradict him.

He pulled out several books from the bag always slung across his shoulders, and laid them across the park table.

"Water isn't the best place for bombs, I'm just sayin'," the book said.

"I didn't say ye could talk! I'm goin' to use ye to prop up my table!"

The book rolled its eyes. Truly the artifacts of Above were wonderful beyond measure. Though taking books were nothing compared to a green-eyed girl who just happened to be his mate.

"Oh, sure, just ignore the magic talking book here. You're looking in a recipe book," the book said.

Tavish squinted. "I was wondering why so many of these magic spells called for curry." Tavish shook his head. "Depth perception never was my strong point," He tossed the book aside, and kept digging.

"There! Found ye!" Tavish flipped through several pages. "Okay, ye are goin' to need true love's kiss."

Scout attempted to tell without words that glorious day when she'd fallen, seemingly from the sky, and pulled him right into the most intense moment of his life. And that was saying something, considering he raced sharks for fun. But the words wouldn't fit, so he finally motioned to his lips.

"That's how ye got in this way in the first place? Well it ain't goin' to cut it, ye will have to smooch her again. Of course I know, I worked for a wizard. It was before the curse started, so yae will have to start all over."

What great news. He got to kiss her all over again. Scout grinned wide. Even if he never got to say another word, it would be worth it. He waved his arms, but he couldn't think of a way to convey his sheer gratitude. He had so much, it might as well be called great-itude.

"Always happy to help a friend, laddy boy," Tavish said.

Tavish lifted up his flask and took a drink.

Tavish looked into the bag of wonders, where he'd pulled out sporfleblags and little treats, and so many other wonders from Above.

"Ye've done me a good turn, fishy boyo. Now I'll pay ye back."

He brought out a thick book. Unlike the Bomboicon, it wasn't alive. It had a gold hand on the front. He opened it up, and flipped through pages of all kinds of creatures that Scout had never seen before.

"Had a drink with a traveler, once. He had some tales to tell. I used to just put all the notes in a spiral notebook, but his books were so fine, I decided to up the ante."

He landed at a drawing of a mermaid, which looked remarkably like Scout himself.

Scout pointed to himself.

"Aye, ye were the one I put on this one. Now ain't ye proud? Ye have a dictionary to call yae own."

Scout grinned and tapped the page.

"Ye can't be goin' and drinkin' saltwater and eatin' fish raw anymore," Tavish said.

Fish? He could do fish. Scout rushed off to the beach. In a few moments later, he came back with a fish in his mouth.

"I'm tellin' ye, humans can't just go eatin' raw meat. Unless it's sushi; that's fuckin' delicious."

The fish in his mouth tasted cold and clammy. He pulled it back and looked at it. Below, he would grab fish right out of schools and snack away. He ran his tongue over his teeth, which weren't as sharp anymore. If humans couldn't just go fish with their teeth, how did they even survive? Did they eat seaweed all day?

"No worries, boyo. We'll have a nice bonfire and cook that. Just put it in this cooler here."

Scout put it on a bed of clear and cold squares. Beside it were cans he knew all too well. Tavish never went far without his 'water of life' as he called it.

Tavish brought out another clear thing. Scout had to think hard of the name, one that he was sure Tavish had taught him over the years. Bott? Bert? He'd think of it.

"Ye gotta hydrate. Sip at this and wait here. I'll get us some first dinner."

Scout tilted his head. First dinner?

"Doctors say it's diabetes and possibly liver failure, but I think it's bullshit. I get to enjoy three times as much food, considerin' I get hungry every two hours. They're just jealous I get to put more in my belly than them," Tavish said. He let out a hearty belch, and got up from the bench, and ambled towards the rows of stands. In a few moments, he exchanged green rectangles for a couple white boxes, and something else. The scent that filled him was like nothing he'd known. Scout opened the box Tavish had brought back. The first bite was juicy, rich, and unlike anything Scout had tasted below. He clung tight, until marks showed on the puffy white thing surrounding the slab of meat.

"Too hot?" Tavish said.

Scout pointed frantically towards the food.

"What? Ye want to know if yae lassie ever tried a hamburger? Of course! Unless she's a vegetarian, I suppose."

He was sure she was great, but knowing she had great taste just made it even better. He took bite after bite until his cheeks puffed up with food.

"Whoa, slow down, or ye will choke. Nobody's goin' to steal it."

Scout held his burger close to him, just in case.

"Unfortunately, maybe down there in fishy land, ye can just go grab a snack. Do that up here, and ye will get full of bullets, or taken to jail. I'm stayin' here a few more days. If ye need a place to crash, then I'll sneak ye into my hotel room."

Scout pointed to the ocean.

"Ye can't sleep on the beach!"

Scout frowned, and pointed towards the beach again.

"Listen, boyo, you're a human now. Ye fall asleep on the sunshine like that, and ye will get a giant sunburn on yae ass. Trust me, I know. And that's if ye don't drown in the process. Aye, that's right. Ye can drown. That's what happens when ye become a landlubber."

Scout grimaced. Drown? The sea had been his home. The thought of it ever being a danger was wrong. He couldn't believe it. Somewhere in him was merman blood that would make the sea save him.

He smirked at Tavish and shrugged.

"Aye, I know that look. That's how I lost this eye." He pointed to his eyepatch. "But, no worries. Now, wait until ye try Whiskey. I've got quite a bit to show you, boyo."

He guided Scout off to new wonders that he couldn't even imagine. But among the crowds of pretty women, and other drinkers, there wasn't a green-eyed girl in purple around them, the one true wonder he wanted to see.

*

Something had been pressing at the back of her mind since she'd last seen him. She should've just passed it off, like any other drunken frat boy making a pass, yet something remained. In fact, through the whole day, and until the next where she walked home again, it kept rolling around in her mind, like a word she couldn't quite remember.

When he saw her, his whole face brightened. He leapt through the dunes, until his jeans were covered in sand. His shirt was wet, which made it stick to his skin and show every curve of his muscles. She'd be lying if she said he wasn't easy on the eyes, with his thin, swimmer's build, and quick smile.

"Oh--um, hi there...again," she said. The closer he was, the more insistent the sense of deja vu was. It was almost like vertigo, this constant point of her mind knowing she'd seen him, but she couldn't place it.

"Do I know you?"

He kept motioning to the sea.

"Well, maybe you're mistaken. Maybe we're both mistaken--I haven't been on any cruises recently. Or ever, actually. I'm not really one for vacations. I'm actually something of a workaholic," Sophie said. Understatement of the year. That was like saying the Black Plague had a minor effect on Europe.

"And I'm ahem, sure you didn't see me on my job." Otherwise she'd have to kill him. "Anyways, I can't stay, I have something I have to--" She broke off as he came closer. He tried to gesture and convey something, but it wasn't like any sign language she knew.

"I don't really understand. I took Spanish, not ASL. I know a few words, though," she said.

The water was a dark shapeless mass that reflected the silvery moon. She hadn't even submerged in a bathtub since then. She'd had such weird dreams--things she could only explain as dreams, because really, a mermaid lover? Just how lonely was she? She couldn't even have romantic daydreams about her coworkers or people at the local coffee shop, it had to be a fantasy creature.

Well, to be fair, he was a very cute fantasy creature. And come to think of it, this guy almost resembled him. The closer she looked, the more she realized it wasn't just a passing resemblance. Minus the tail and gills, he was exactly what she'd dreamed.

"Do you know American sign language? I'm a bit rusty, but I should be able---oh, right. I should be signing this," she said. She started, hoping that she wasn't actually telling him something incredibly suggestive by accident. Once she'd tried to order fried chicken in Spanish when working near Tijuana, and had accidentally propositioned the cashier, to both their confusion and embarrassment.

Even if the worker girl had been pretty cute, accidentally saying fuck me hadn't been the way Sophie had intended to start that conversation.

He made the sign of a heart.

"Oh, you're saying--"

He pointed to her, then made a heart again, and smiled.

"You---?"

He tried to map out something, but she couldn't recognize a single thing he was saying. He let out a sigh of frustration and shook his head. Then, a realization came over him. She could slowly see the thoughts form, as if he had spoken. He came closer, and she didn't drew away. In that moment, she knew he would kiss her, just as she had in the dream. She leaned in to let dream meet reality on this sandy shore. She could hear the waves come in almost to the same beat of her heart. Her lips parted in surprise.

It was familiar, so familiar, the salt taste of his skin. In all her life, she'd never had a movie moment kiss, one that felt like there should be an orchestral score behind it. Only the one dream beneath the waves had ever captured a moment like this. A moment so familiar, even to the line of his chest, the feel of his neck.

Only he'd had scales then, and gills. A ridiculous fantasy her dying mind had concocted up. Or maybe not, who could even tell?

Her heart hammered in her chest. The waves crashed over her feet as she leaned in closer, just to regain the feeling again. But he didn't kiss her again. In the evening sunlight, his skin seemed to glow. He burst out in a big grin.

"And that---hey, I'm back!" He touched to his mouth and ran his fingers down his chin. "I'm really back! I hope this didn't make us less married, because if it did, I'll just have to kiss you all over again."

Everything came crashing back in her mind. "What--married?--You're making no sense at all. I haven't been to Vegas recently!"

"You saw this hunk here, and thought you wanted to marry me the minute you saw my great tail. Not that I blame you!" He touched to his chest, over his heart. It came off like a pledge, but if it was to anything, it was to himself.

And maybe her.

She was about to say I don't even know you, but something about his voice, and this closeness made the dreams come back The strange feeling of almost drowning, and being saved by something--someone impossible. A merman.

"When you pointed to the beach, you meant the ocean, didn't you? Then..that wasn't a dream?"

"Yeah, Beneath! I was swimmin' around, leavin' sharks in my dust, and then you fell down. I looked up just right and got you out of there. Then you kissed me." His gaze softened at the last words.

"I'd say this could've possibly be true, but I just fought a wizard, so I'm pretty sure I can't discount anything. So, you're a... merman? I guess you must be some swimmer. Or should I say ex-merman?" Sophie said. She adjusted her glasses.

"I am the best swimmer, though now I'm takin' on runnin'. Did-did you see me on the beach? I was makin' that sand fly. In fact, I can show you again. Oh! You should come down and meet my ma! Technically you already met her, but you kinda blacked out there. I was freakin' out, super worried and all."

"That was---" Sophie fought to process everything he was saying. He flitted from subject to subject faster than she could keep up. "In what culture would a kiss be a proposal?"

"Mine. What, your culture don't got this--the soulmates, the kissin' and knowin' that person was yours? Ain't none of that?"

"Well, I'm sorry for the misunderstanding, but that's not how my culture does things. I don't even know your name. I was just trying to survive," she said.

"Oh, my name? It's Scout, fastest of Below, and now the Above! And uh, how you go about marryin' people anyways? Double kisses and pearls? Because I'm great at findin' those, and kisses. But you'd know that," Scout said.

"Well, people date for long periods of time, then one of them gives the other a ring, and they get married later on. But only if they're right for each other, and sometimes people are mistaken about it, and not right for each other at all," she said.

"Sounds pretty complicated, you ain't even gettin' a sure deal out of it. Below definitely had a better grip on things," Scout said.

"Less complicated than getting accidentally betrothed to a stranger?" She said dryly.

"Now that was easy. Boom, bam, your lips on mine, married!" Scout punched his right fist to his left palm for emphasis. "Well, almost married, but mates definitely. But, thing dating thing sounds fun. So, you wanna try it? Then we can get married."

"This is so ridiculous! You're rushing into marriage--this isn't a Disney film, you know," she said.

"That's cause you're my mate! I mean, that's what you do. You make her a bubble nest, you punch some sharks, you live happily ever after."

Sophie raised one eyebrow. "Your...mate? Are we talking the Australian way, or the animal way?"

"What and what? Australians? Tavish says Australia is nothin' but myth made up by drunk people. He refuses to believe spiders that big could exist anywhere. We're talkin' about fate, baby. See, us mers don't just lock lips with anyone. We know right off who we're meant to be with. And the minute I saw you, I knew it. You and me, meant to be. And you kissin' me sealed it."

"This is all rather sudden. Do you even know my name?" Sophie said.

"Um, couldn't ask because my lips were sealed, literally, even. Had a spell on me, and not just you for bein' gorgeous," Scout said.

Had this been a speed date, this would've been the point she hit the bell and walked away. And yet, despite logic, despite everything that she had known in this world, that happy endings were nothing but fairy tales in the end, that more often than not, marriage ended with divorce, she remembered the kiss.

She remembered him.

Sophie sighed and pushed her dark hair back over her shoulder. After a hard day's work, even the best hairspray and bobby pins were letting loose strands everywhere.

"Well, I'll help you there. My name is Sophie. And you're cute, though this Disney prince marriage at first thing is not working for me, though that kiss sure did. But, I guess this is the...mer thing, so you can't help it. Anyways, I won't have vacation time for two-hundred and thirty more days yet," she said.

Scout started to count on his fingers. He only got to about ten before he stopped in dismay. "That's---a really long time," Scout said.

"--but, you can help me dump these bodies overboard for the sharks to devour if you want! Actually, I'd really appreciate that, considering I almost became shark food last time. And we could grab a bite to eat later on... Wait, do you even have a place to live?"

"Tavish let me stay with him last night, but he's checkin' out tonight, and off somewhere. Scots land or somethin'. After that, I figure could just chill down in the ocean," Scout said.

It was pretty new to be moving in with someone, considering they hadn't even had a first date, but Scout was just asking to get mugged, or run into the wrong person. Or die due to exposure, for that matter. Whatever skill he had as a mermaid wouldn't help him on the surface, that was for sure.

"That's not necessary. I'm sure I can find some space for you."

"Really?" Scout said. His whole face lit up with the most beautiful smile. She felt warmed and full of newness and wonder just seeing him light up like that.

"I'm not going to leave you in the cold. That'd be cruel," she said.

Usually she'd have some sort of negative voice within criticizing her actions, but for once, despite all the ridiculousness of the situation, it was silent.

*

She was lucky enough to find an opening at late notice. Technically it was quite a fancy restaurant, but the thought of him lighting up in wonder at the sights filled her with a strange new warmth. Even if he'd probably look just as amazed by the drive-thru at McDonalds, she wanted to watch this first night unfold.

There were portholes instead of regular windows, and the main attraction was large empty aquarium in the middle of the dining room. Inside was a strobe light show of technicolor coral. Scout couldn't stop looking at the aquarium, as if it had a physical draw.

She reached in for her large wallet and credit card holder, which was decorated in a red pattern which perfectly disguised bloodstains. However, what she pulled out was a bag of gummy worms.

"Whoops. That's my lunch. I didn't get time to eat it," she said.

Scout grimaced at the sight of the bag. "You eat worms up here?"

"Well, I suppose some people have--but those are just candy," she said.

"You think worms are candy?"

"No, they're just shaped like worms. I usually get bears, but they're out. Here, have one," she said.

She held out the jellied treat. Scout looked at it with suspicion, but finally brought it to his mouth. The sugary treat jiggled as he slurped it up. His lips puckered, his face a mask of twisted confusion.

"It's.....weird! Your bugs taste weird but good. Goodweird."

She cleared her throat. "They're---not bugs," she said.

"You say that, and yet it says worms right there. Ain't worms bugs? We got seabugs down there."

"People like to shape food like other things. It's a thing. I don't know why...." She cleared her throat.

He shoved a handful of worms into his mouth. His eyes widened as he reached for the water and desperately downed the entire glass.

"Was it spicy?"

"It's---lip puckery!"

"They're sour gummy worms," she said. "I guess it would be hard to get used to, especially that much at once."

He took one last worm and held it up to the curve of his mouth like a green smiley face. She couldn't help but laugh. There were so many things he was still learning. But he was so full of joy and love for everything that it was infectious. She'd find herself smiling to herself.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, you just looked--cute. I didn't realize something sour would be such a big deal."

She flushed. She hadn't meant to admit that, not one something that was almost like a first date.

"Yeah, I am pretty cute, but you're even cuter!"

She was never the type to think some Disney prince would fall on her doorstep--or to be more precise, she'd fall onto his. But here she was. A cute fiancee could come in handy. She'd have someone to take to her cousin's wedding next year, someone to kiss on New Year's Eve, and every other holiday. She wouldn't have to come to an empty house.

Of course, all these were just excuses past the fact that she always wanted to kiss him, and that in just a short time, she'd smiled more than she had in years.

A voice burst out in the anteroom, along with several crashes. Scout dropped the bag and craned his neck.

"What do ye mean ye don't take Gold Doubloons! Ye even take damnable American Express!"

"Tavish!" Scout waved insistently, and stood up on the booth. "Over here! Taviiish!"

"I'm with them," Tavish said, before pushing past the receptionist, and back to the dining room.

"Boyo! I was wonderin' where ye went to. It ain't been the same without ye around. I suppose ye found somebody else to give ye treasures."

"Oh man, I haven't even seen the drawers full of sporfleblargs, or the magic squares--"

"Sporfleblargs? Magic squares? Do I even want to know?" Sophie said.

"This is Tavish, we've been friends since way back, before I came up here. He taught me all kinds of things about Above!" Scout gestured towards Tavish. Tavish pulled up an unused chair and sat at their table.

"Pretty funny to see ye at the mermaid restaurant," Tavish said.

"Oh, I picked it out specially. I thought he might get a kick out of it. But it turns out they weren't in today," Sophie said.

"So, there's mermaids up here? Booo-yeah! I told Sebastien he was way off. We've been up here all along!"

"I'm afraid It's just people dressing up," she said.

"Dressin' up, huh..." Scout suddenly got up and made his way towards the tank.

"Oh, I'll show you a show--just watch!"

He climbed up. A gasp rose up from some of the patrons. Waiters clad in black rushed forward to pull him down, but Scout was too fast for them.

"Sir--! Please get down from there!"

"Don't worry, I'm a professional!" Scout dove in, hidden by a sudden light change. Seconds later the man of her dreams was swimming around in the large aquarium.

He winked at her through the glass. His bottom half was covered with bright red scales.

She leaned her chin on her hand and just watched the show. She'd missed the details without her glasses, but now he put every shiny scale on display. Even in the small aquarium, she could tell he was fast, and sleek.

"He turned back," Tavish said. "Ye think he'll eat his food?"

"I'll put it in a to-go box," she said.

He did a twirl, all red glow and glimmering fins. Tavish started to slowly put the breadsticks into the duffel bag slung over his shoulder, but Sophie paid him no mind. She only had eyes for Scout.

"What a sight...what a show," Sophie said. Her voice had gone dreamy. She blushed and tried to catch herself, but at the sight of him, the sight of him...she let herself be impressed, and she let herself be swept away in this Disney daydream that her life had become.

*

The restaurant had just begun to close. Scout gripped the ladder rungs and tried to focus. He didn't become any less of a merman. He puffed his cheeks out, closed his eyes, and tried again. Magic could be tricky like that. Sometimes it'd blow up in his face, or refuse to come out at all, like it had stage fright. But even after he contorted, and looked like he had the worst case of constipation ever, nothing happened.

"Are you stuck?" Sophie said.

"I-I can do it," Scout protested. He thrashed about his tail in his effort to transform. No luck.

"Aye, True Love's Kiss is bound to make him a lot less fishy," Tavish said.

"I guess I need your help for this one," Scout said.

She climbed up the rungs of the ladder at the back. "Maybe I'm the Disney prince in all this," she muttered to herself. She wasn't exactly the sort to sing to birds. Scout, though? She could totally see him skipping through parks and feeding birds from his hands.

She bent down and kissed him. The warmth and tingling, magic feeling flooded through her again. His lower half shone as it turned back to flesh. Even as the reason faded, she held on. Her lips were so close to his, and she thought, she could find that spark again. Sophie watched him, half lidded, her gaze on his lips.

Just once more.

"Ye are flashin' the waiters," Tavish said.

"Consider it thanks for the meal," Scout said. He slipped into his jeans, which were completely dry, despite their proximity to the tank. Even Tavish had gotten wet, and he wasn't even on the rungs like she was.

Maybe it was magic.

"Wait...I saw you get into water before, and you never changed," Sophie said

"Must be some side effect. Probably Ma convinced that Sea Witch to put some clause in so I'd come home for the holidays," Scout said.

Tavish nodded. "Sounds like those dastardly Sea Witches. They'll sneak in every clause. Just be glad they didn't make ye call every night or have shrieking banshees followin' ye around."

Scout shrugged. "Who knows, I ain't figured out all the rough parts yet."

"If you turn into a mermaid every time you touch water, then you're going to go through a lot of pants," she said.

Scout lifted his eyebrows suggestively. He tried to strike a pose, but in her arms, it was difficult.

"Does this mean you'll turn back into a merman if I kiss you?" This could make their future makeout sessions awkward. Maybe she'd have to get a waterbed, and make it that much more literal.

"There's only one way to find out," Scout said.

"For science," she said.

She leaned down and kissed him again. She felt a surge of warmth and happiness rush through her, like waves. They pulled away the stress, the rough parts of the day, as Scout had put it. He remained just as human.

"Third time's the charm?" Scout said.

"I don't think you're going to get any fishier," she said.

"Yeah, but kissin'! That's always a good plan, if you ask me. In fact, it's the best plan."

She had to concur.

"Okay, one more for the road," she said.

Just as she pulled away, she saw Scout grin mischievously. He dipped his feet back into the water. In one shining moment, flesh became shimmering red scales.

Scout smirked. "Oops. My bad. It looks like you'll just have to kiss me again."

"For Science, huh," Sophie said dryly. "I should push you back into that tank."

"Then I'll put an even better show on for you. I

A very weary waiter covered in a variety of food stains across his dark uniform shook his head. "We close in five minutes."

"Guess ye will have to take the flirtin' elsewhere," Tavish said.

"We close in five minutes," the waiter said again. This time he looked more pointedly at Tavish.

"I'm goin', I'm goin'."

He stopped by one more table to liberate them of breadsticks. With a glance past his shoulders, he held up one large, calloused hand in greeted. "Catch ye around, fishy lad."

"Bye, Tavish!"

"If it really is every single time you hit water, then we'll be kissing a whole lot," Sophie said.

And she'd have to keep the bathtub always full of water, in case he needed to wash his hands when she wasn't there. Or maybe she'd have to install something. She was still figuring out the logistics of thing whole thing. She mentally made a note to buy a waterbed anyways. It sounded like a lot of fun, and he'd definitely get a kick out of the bouncing. She could just imagine his face lighting up as the bed made waves.

"Yeah, I like this aftercurse, or whatever it is. Maybe I'll tell the Sea Witch to bump me one, when I'm done punchin' his face in for trickin' me like that."

"Maybe I'll help you," she said. She leaned down to kiss one more time.

*

Scout was captivated by every passing car and streetlight. He flitted about, climbing up to swing on street lamps and dragging his shoes across the pavement just for the sound.

"God, you're like someone from a musical came to life. I guess you really are a Disney prince," she said.

"What does that mean? That I'm incredibly handsome?"

Sophie thought on that. As a child she'd been more captivated by Ariel than Eric, but then she'd definitely had a thing for Flynn Rider. There was even a striking resemblance. The fact that her cable was broken and nothing but the Disney Nostalgia Channel was what came up meant that she had a lot of songs stuck in her head these days. That and infomercials.

"Well, I guess so," she said.

"Great. You're real Disney too," he said. He reached out for a lamp and twirled around like he was doing some high-school production of Singing In The Rain. She half expected him to break out into song.

"Oh yeah, instead of throwin' me out, they offered me a job interview!" Scout said.

"Hmmm. I'd have to forge a whole lot of papers for that. Of course, I could do it; I can make dozens of identities in a single night...though I think the whole point of that is to show off and flaunt for the crowd," Sophie said.

"Perfect job for me, then," Scout said.

"And... flirt with the customers," she said uncertainly.

"Aww, you're wantin' to hold on and dig your fins into me. Hey, don't worry! You're the only one I want to flirt with, you're the only one I wanna kiss. You''re my mate, remember?" Scout said.

She blushed bright pink. "So you keep telling me."

He let go of her hand rushed ahead. Everything made him giddy. She'd never met someone so full of life as him. The joy was contagious, even just being around him lifted her mood after a long day.

He entwined his hands in hers. "And so I mean it, so get used to it! Your life just became like ten times more awesome."

He looked up suddenly, and broke away to point insistently up at the sky. "Look, that star is moving! Is that a shootin' star? Cause Tavish said we can wish on those!"

"That's an airplane," she said.

"Oh? Tavish told me they were dragons," Scout said.

"Well, I suppose some of them have been painted like dragons," she said.

"I wanna go on one of those one day," Scout said.

"Ugh, they aren't as fun as they seem. You're stuck in cramped quarters, and for some reason I always end up with the screaming baby right next to my seat," she said.

"So, somethin' else in the air?"

"Maybe a private plane," she said. She smiled. "You haven't even seen some of the mountains. I bet you'd flip out when you see those."

"I bet I would! Everyhin' is so awesome up here. Like hamburgers! You try those? They're incredible."

"I've had a few. There's more than hamburgers, though. Tacos, hot dogs, salads...Something tells me you're going to have a lot of fun trying out all the food up here."

He put his hands in hers and squeezed. "I can't wait. We can try 'em together."

As much as she didn't want to admit it, she was the type of girl who watched Tangled late at night with a bowl of cereal on her lap with purple fuzzy slippers on, she completely was.

"Hey, what's that? There's fish up there!"

He let go suddenly, and took off on a run. When she caught up to him, his face was pressed right against the sign.

"It's just an aquarium. Ah, It's open late on the weekends. Though you just got out of the water--"

Before she'd even finished, Scout was already caught in the revolving door.

*

Two tickets later, they walked beneath glass and probably thousands of pounds of water and glass. Wondrous multi-colored fish, like swimming gradients passed over her. Languid jellyfish floated just above. She could see the lights through them, as well as a bunch of light-up stars stuck to the ceiling that shone through. Sophie couldn't tell if they were trying to get the twenty-somethings hipsters on dates crowd or the insomniac children's school trips.

"The jellyfish are so beautiful," she said.

Scout scrunched up his nose. "You say that because you've never swam with the fuckers. They're awful! Get too close and your tail is on fire."

"I'm not much for swimming--though I guess you already know that," she said.

"Oh, it's easy. You just gotta work your tail, and make sure your fins don't get bitten off by sharks--because if they do, it's a pain in the ass to grow back. I had to use magic and everyhin'."

Sophie looked down to her legs, and complete lack of fins. "That's...easier said than done."

"Nah, it's great! I can teach you."

No sharks swam by. It was probably too small an aquarium, and they wouldn't want to risk animals being devoured and scarring hipsters and schoolchildren alike. She was all too glad for it. With the memory came a sudden chill. Sophie rubbed the back of her arms.

"Hey, you cold, or somethin'?"

"No, just remembering. Um, sharks, that is. I can't say I was ever a fan, but now I'm really not a fan."

"Oh, fuck sharks. They're a pain in the ass--literally, even," Scout said.

He embraced her from the back, and nuzzled against the back of her neck. "You don't gotta worry about them. I'll punch any of those fuckers that dares get near you."

She smiled. Everything had happened so fast in the past couple of days. And yet, he felt warm. She couldn't help but rest against him and bask in all this joy and hope that seemed to seep deep into her as well. Even after a long tiring day, something in her brightened around him.

"Well, we don't have any land sharks, so I think I'll be okay as long as I don't go swimming in the ocean. We do have loan sharks, though, and they're about as bad--"

"Then I'll punch them, too!"

"With that kind of attitude, you just might get hired at Mann co on sight," she said. Sophie pushed a strand of hair behind her ear. "It's where I work."

"Just tell me who to punch, and I'll do it. Especially if I get to spend more time with you," Scout said.

The light started to flicker down. An angelfish swam past, and she leaned in, her hand to the glass.

She laughed. "Hello, little guy."

Scout sidled up beside her, and peered into the glass world, the little droplet of an ocean kept pristine, just for them.

"Oh, hey Fred! I ain't seen you in ages, thought you got eaten! I just seen your school--and I didn't eat 'em. They're all doin' great. I'll have to tell 'em I saw you next time I go down there. Though, it could be a while. See that girl? I came up for her. She's my mate!"

The angelfish left its school to flutter just above them.

"He says yo. He really likes it here, no sharks--I ain't goin' to repeat what he said about us mers. Yeah, screw you, Fred."

The Aquarium will be closing in ten minutes.

Scout looked up at the ceiling with dismay. "Does it have to end?" Scout said.

"We can come back again. As many times as you want, as long as I don't get called back to work. There's always tomorrow," she said.

The words came out before she even had thought, but his smile was so worth it. She'd never believed much in tomorrow. In fact, life had taught her more often than not, there wouldn't be a tomorrow. She'd ensured that plenty of people never had a future.

But, he'd made sure she did.

"All right, I can't wait! And there's lots of other stuff to see up there. I can't wait to see it all with you."

She didn't say the word on her lips, the hesitant me too that she questioned even as she thought it. But she took his hand as they left out into the night. The moon shone over the velvet dark water, broken by ripples, only to reform in new shapes of white. The crash of the waves was like a lullaby. She leaned into him, each unsaid word spelling out a yes and yes, me too.

*

Scout looked over her apartment like her Ikea furniture would impart ancient wisdom. Scout darted around her fairly bare apartment. He looked at the cheap art she'd gotten to make it look less suspicious like he was going to memorize every part of that 10$ watercolor. There was a lot of basic taupe and beige in her apartment, considering that she hadn't exactly gotten around to redecorating. She would've personally preferred colors that hid bloodstains better.

"I'll make up the couch for you," she said. She returned with an extra pillow and quilt, but he was nowhere to be seen. The door wasn't open, so--

"Soph, this big box is friggin' cold!" Scout called from the kitchen.

"It's a fridge, it's supposed to be. Don't leave it open."

He wandered back out into the living room again. Or at least what passed as a living room. Considering that she rarely spent time at home, and moved quite often Sophie never bothered with luxury details.

"I know, I need to go grocery shopping. I'll do it when I get back from work. Speaking of which--I have to go to work in a few hours. So, it's time for the night to end," she said.

"But--I'll get to see you tomorrow, right?" Scout said hopefully.

"Once I get back from work. Unless you want to wake up really early, and eat breakfast together."

"Yeah, that sounds great. Wake me up when you get up," Scout said.

"I wake up really early. I mean really early," she warned.

"Don't care," Scout said. He yawned and crawled under the covers. "Hey, Sophie? Thanks. Not just for settin' this up for me, but existin'. Thanks for that."

She didn't respond immediately. No one had ever thanked her just for being. No lover, parent, teacher--anyone. She bent down to his tender gaze.

"Well...thank you for saving me," she said. "For letting me keep existing."

"Anytime," Scout said.

"Goodnight, Scout," she said. She dimmed the light, until it was shadows and the faint green cast of the light from the dvd player she'd never even used once. The light from her room left a crack through the darkness. He'd turned away, a cocoon of blankets.

Before she turned in, she googled how to take care of my merman kind of maybe boyfriend on her phone. There were no usable results. She was going to have to be a trailblazer, one waterbed at a time.

Then, she searched the pricing of a giant aquarium, for her own merman show. Some might say it was a bit soon to be installing that aquarium-sized fish tank in her living room, but nothing in her life had been sensible since she fell overboard. This time, she'd be prepared for every strange and lovely turn her life took.

Epilogue.

The queen offered her hand, and he kissed the back. His queen, his everything. Her scales were a deep blue, with translucent fins spread out, more beautiful than any finery of Above.

"You helped him find the girl, right?" she said.

"Of course, ma coeur," he said.

"Make sure he remembers to call via shellphone. You didn't make it permanent, did you?" she said.

"Of course not. He can now go freely now from Below to Above...more or less. The magic is complex. And I will be the thorn in his side, should he not call."

"Good, just what I like in a man. Make sure she can come as well. I'll have to be callin' him and remindin' him to come visit us."

"He can't help it. His mind is filled with love," Sebastien said.

She smiled. "You're a softie underneath it all," she said.

He put a finger to his lips. "Perhaps to you, but please keep my secrets. I can't have you ruining my reputation."

Just as he was about to pull her near, a voice sounded behind them.

"Ma! What's for dinner?"

He grimaced and drew away. Only seven more boys to find mates for before he could have some peace and quiet.


Author's note: Stay tuned for the sequel.