fic: Heartburn
Oct. 28th, 2013 05:50 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
bonnefoisTitle: Heartburn
Series: Tf2
Character/pairing: Scout /Miss Pauling, Heavy/Medic, Archimedes
Rating: PG-13
Word count: 2500
Summary: Scout visits Medic for chest pain that's partly due to a certain girl and partly due to a certain bird.
Author's note: All medical practice is of the Medic-typical unsafe variety, definitely not what would actually happen in a medical procedure, and of the "I have no idea!" with maniacal laughter variety. Oh, and parrots sometimes like to dunk their food in drinks. I've seen this firsthand, and assumed that Archimedes, while not a parrot, might like it as well.
Betaed by Multiversecafe.
The light swung above them, surprisingly dark for the doc's infirmary, but it always looked like a back alley chop-shop. Heavy was there, chowing down and sandwiches, an empty beer bottle on the counter near the rusty refrigerator.
"—So, like I was sayin', my chest is all weird, lately—"
Medic looked back, taking one last drink of beer. "Ja, come in."
Scout spread out on the table, unable to keep still. Heavy held him still before he kicked the side of the complex stupid machinery, shoving a sandwich into his mouth before he could complain more. It was ham on rye, so he didn't have that much to complain about. Big guy had all the best sandwiches–Scout took stuff from his pack for a reason. Way better than frigging Sniper, who covered his stuff in fricking Marmite. Scout still didn't know what the hell it was, except that it should've been called "nastmite" for extra nasty.
"You were saying?" Medic said.
"Yeah, it hurts up here. My heart is racin', and my head is all weird. Dunno what's up lately, I just— it hurts, okay?"
Medic snapped on a new pair of plastic gloves. "When does it hurt?"
He pronounced it like ven, giving Scout a mental image of a Venn diagram, like the kinds he had back in school. The pie charts always made him so hungry that he'd get distracted from whatever useless bullshit the teacher was droning on about that day.
"Is it when you exercise?" Medic said, interrupting his thoughts.
"That's the thing, it ain't when I'm runnin' so much, it's— whenever she's around. My heart just gets racin' so much, and it hurts when she ain't around. I don't get it–"
Medic rolled his eyes. "You wake me up for this? Go on, shoo."
"–No, it's weird, sometimes I have like, flutterin' and cooing sounds, and—"
"Cooing?" Medic said, looking more than a little alarmed.
Medic pulled out his bonesaw. Scout had seen the worst of Medic's bonesaw more than once, and even though he was a manly stud kind of a guy, it didn't stop him from wincing a bit. It wasn't like he was chickenshit or anything, but those things frigging hurt!
"This will sting a little—"
He clung tight to Heavy's arm as the blade cut into his flesh. Although he tried to be manly, he ended up screaming until his lungs ached, a long scream of the sort which was really hard to put off as just a cough, or blame on Sniper again. Still, it definitely sounded like a strong battle cry and not like a twelve year old girl at all.
A frigging bird flew out. A frigging bird. Red wings spread wide, the dove circled around up top, apparently unhurt. Ugh, he was probably full of bird shit, and that was if the stupid thing didn't eat half his internal organs in the process.
"Archimedes!" Medic cried out. The bloody bird perched on his finger, and the old doc looked on the verge of manly tears. Heavy left Scout's side to come nearer to Medic. With one huge finger, he petted Archimedes' back.
"Papa missed you!" Medic said, happier than Scout had ever heard him.
"Little bird came home," Heavy said, his rumbling voice trembling with emotion.
"Hello, open chest wound over here! Hey, doc, come on man, don't leave me hangin'—literally!"
The doors swung open, and she rushed in, wearing cute pedal pushers, limping from a broken heel. Her hair was all messed up, glasses askew like she'd been running the whole way. And there it was again, his heart rate up like he'd been running twenty miles without a break, his chest aching and yet not from the wound.
"—there was a girl screaming—Medic, you—"
"Just Scout," Medic said.
Miss Pauling let out a relieved sigh. She pressed her hand to her chest as she caught her breath.
"For the record, they were manly screams," Scout said.
"They were a dead ringer for a little girl," she said.
"Must've heard some horror movie on the way in," Scout said.
"That line would work better if I didn't oversee the matches," she said.
"—But, hey, you came runnin' to my side, bet you wouldn't do that for any of the other guys, huh?" Scout said.
"Not if Heavy is the one screaming in Medic's office," she said, clearing her throat.
Scout looked up, a little confused at the way Heavy was staring at the wall, while Medic seemed far too wrapped up in his birds to notice the awkwardness.
"More importantly, I found Archimedes!" Medic said, lifting up his finger, while the bird cooed happily. He petted it with his other hands. "He was in Scout's chest all along!"
"Always the last place you look, huh?" Miss Pauling said dryly.
Scout attempted pose in a hot way to catch her attention, but it was hard to look studly with the chest wound and all. Feathers fell out, and more blood. Well, damn.
"Medic," she said sternly.
"Can't, bird time," Medic replied.
Heavy nodded. "Bird time very important."
"Doc, come on–"
"What part of bird time do you not understand?" Medic said. Archimedes flew away to rest on Heavy's shoulder.
"I wasn't yelling at you," Medic said, getting on tiptoe to pet his bird again. Archimedes nuzzled his head against Heavy's thick neck.
"Ah, he missed you," Medic said gently.
"If you want something done, you have to do it yourself," Miss Pauling said under her breath.
She turned to him, pushing up her glasses and running her hand through her messy black hair, trying to put it back in place.
"Can you manage to stand?"
"Manage? I can stand like a friggin' pro–"
It hurt more than he thought it would. He clung to the side of the examination table, his knees wobbling. "S-see, no sweat—"
"There's feathers in your chest," she said.
"P-probably more than just that," he said. He tried to smile, but it wobbled, and he had to bite his lower lip to cut back another scream.
"Can you bend forward for me?"
He nodded. "Yeah, anythin' for you."
He hoped his heart wouldn't fall right out of his chest. He swallowed past the pain, his vision blurring a moment as she stepped away. She lifted up the hose from the side of the examination table, struggling under its weight.
The pain was frigging unbearable. He held on tighter to the steel examination table, trying not to make a sound. She put her hand up as feathers fell to the floor and stuck in the drain, right along with the bloody water. She was touching his heart, keeping it there, and even through the pain, he liked her small hand there. Keeping him together.
"There," she said, turning off the hose with some difficulty. He leaned back on the table, exhausted and sore. She had to jump up to reach the Medigun, red light all over him. He watched her through the red haze, pain easing and yet, it was still there. There wasn't a bird in his chest anymore, but there might as well have been. It was kind of like an ache, but a happy ache, from liking her so damn much that it felt like the world tilted a little bit every time she came around.
Her purple shirt was soaked form the cold water. Water dripped down her chin, across her milky white skin, and he couldn't stop looking. Even her pants were wet.
"You'd make a good doctor," he said, with a grin. "Then again, you'd be a good anythin', considerin' how smart and stuff you are."
"Thank you," she said absently, looking down at her wet shirt. "I should change," she said, more to herself than anything.
"I, for one, think you look just fine," he said. Her wet clothes hugged every wonderful curve of her body. Wet, undone strands of hair from her bun framed her face, and water droplets spattered all over her glasses. She lifted up her shirt just a little to clean them, revealing a quick glimpse of her pale stomach. She was just a little chubby at the waist, hidden by her perfect posture and clothes, and it made her even cuter in his eyes.
She frowned as she picked up glasses wetter and more blurry than before.
"Hey, you could use my shirt," Scout said.
"Mmm," she said.
She reached out and pushed up his shirt just a little at the bottom of his red shirt, where it wasn't really wet or bloody or nothing. Scout leaned back, just to give her a better view of his rock-hard awesome body.
Unfortunately, she missed the show of a lifetime, considering she needed her glasses to see and all, but he kept his shirt up just a bit to show off his damn fine abs. Just a little gift to make her day better. Hell, her whole year better.
"If I ever want a chance at you meeting my gaze ever again, I'm taking a break to change," she said.
"Course I'd look at your eyes, they're real pretty!"
She looked away. Hey, was she blushing? He really wanted to believe that she was finally blushing over him. She just had to be.
"Well, you need to have your data inputted back in Respawn. It's likely that Archimedes was scanned as well, which is why he's never been removed, or expired inside of you, so the problem will continue if we don't get this rectified right away."
"Yeah, great. A bird bitin' and crappin' all in my chest, real wonder of nature there," Scout said.
She pushed the Medigun back up, red light floating across the wall. She was pretty tiny, but her arms were toned. Did she work out? He'd love to spot for her, run with her, work out with her...he hadn't thought her as a sporty kind of girl, but he was learning new things about her every day, and he liked every single thing.
"Hey, I'm good as new. Thanks, Miss P! You really healed my broken heart!"
She made this half-cough, half sneeze noise, but he was sure it was a covered up laugh. He'd done it, he'd really made her laugh! Had to be a laugh, though that meant her laugh might've sounded like a sixty-year old woman who smoked every day of her life.
He could be okay with that.
"So, you me, a nice cozy little Respawn input room, after you slip into something a little more comfortable?" Scout said.
"My, aren't you talented at spinning things. You could work propaganda for TF Industries like a charm," she said.
"Yeah, I'm a champ at spinnin'. Dancin'—see? See?" He did an impromptu twirl which wasn't so much a chance to show off his smooth moves, but just to get another smile.
Success! It was faint, but still there.
"Moving on, I'll go get changed and meet you at the Respawn data center. I'll see you in half an hour."
"It's a date. I won't be late, in fact, I'll be early and waitin'—waitin' for you!" He called after her.
"Okay," was all she said, down the hall, her pretty voice carrying through the halls.
She didn't even correct him on the date part, and she never missed stuff like that, so it meant she had to dig him. He grinned, catching his reflection in a sliver of dusty mirror on the wall of the infirmary.
You know what, Scout? You look like one damn fine handsome man, and she's gotta think so, too! Boo-frickin' yeah.
Scout looked back towards the fridge, his hey, doc cutting off the minute he saw the good doctor in action. In the time it had taken for her to fix him up, frigging Heavy and Medic were having a fricking tea party. Medic lifted up his teacup. There was a small teacup beside his, with little bird crumbs in it.
"So, doc, about that chest thing—"
"Dummkopf, you're in love," Medic said, though there wasn't even any anger in his voice, just exasperation.
"Love? Nah, I can't—" he stopped at that, so much going through his head.
He thought everything about her was gorgeous, even the stuff that wasn't. A bit of chub, maybe a harsh laugh, nothing made her seem any less like the most amazing girl he'd ever met. The kind of girl who made him want to break all the walls, even his own, just to reach high enough to catch her eye.
And sure, there were tons of other pretty girls in the world, but they didn't make his chest burn around them, painful and hot and horrible and wonderful all at once. They didn't make him feel like the whole world titled to the side just by walking by, like he was falling and flying all at once.
They didn't make him nod along to stupid sappy love songs, understanding why someone would go and make a fool out of themselves over and over just to catch the eye of that one girl, only girl who'd gone and touched his heart and even removed some feathers while she was at it.
"Who knows, maybe you're right doc," Scout said, giving one last wave as he was out the door and at a run.
"Of course I'm right," Medic said under his breath.
"I don't give love advice!" Medic called after him, but Scout was long gone.
He shook his head and lifted the teacup to his lips. "Dummkopf."
"Bird time is well and good, but it is not all. You do not leave patients," Heavy said.
"Yes, yes. You could say I was putting a matter of the heart first. A matter of the heart over a matter of the heart," Medic said with a laugh. "Someone had to make the boy realize, so he'd stop bothering me in the middle night asking for 'health advice.' Bah, what am I Doctor love?"
"You could be," Heavy said. "Doctor is good at all things."
Archimedes fluttered up to start to preen Heavy's head, even though he was newly shaven.
"Scout is going to keep interrupting us," Medic said.
Heavy chuckled. "He will only interrupt the first time. After that, he will learn to knock, like Miss Pauling."
"Ah, you always have the best ideas," Medic said.
Series: Tf2
Character/pairing: Scout /Miss Pauling, Heavy/Medic, Archimedes
Rating: PG-13
Word count: 2500
Summary: Scout visits Medic for chest pain that's partly due to a certain girl and partly due to a certain bird.
Author's note: All medical practice is of the Medic-typical unsafe variety, definitely not what would actually happen in a medical procedure, and of the "I have no idea!" with maniacal laughter variety. Oh, and parrots sometimes like to dunk their food in drinks. I've seen this firsthand, and assumed that Archimedes, while not a parrot, might like it as well.
Betaed by Multiversecafe.
The light swung above them, surprisingly dark for the doc's infirmary, but it always looked like a back alley chop-shop. Heavy was there, chowing down and sandwiches, an empty beer bottle on the counter near the rusty refrigerator.
"—So, like I was sayin', my chest is all weird, lately—"
Medic looked back, taking one last drink of beer. "Ja, come in."
Scout spread out on the table, unable to keep still. Heavy held him still before he kicked the side of the complex stupid machinery, shoving a sandwich into his mouth before he could complain more. It was ham on rye, so he didn't have that much to complain about. Big guy had all the best sandwiches–Scout took stuff from his pack for a reason. Way better than frigging Sniper, who covered his stuff in fricking Marmite. Scout still didn't know what the hell it was, except that it should've been called "nastmite" for extra nasty.
"You were saying?" Medic said.
"Yeah, it hurts up here. My heart is racin', and my head is all weird. Dunno what's up lately, I just— it hurts, okay?"
Medic snapped on a new pair of plastic gloves. "When does it hurt?"
He pronounced it like ven, giving Scout a mental image of a Venn diagram, like the kinds he had back in school. The pie charts always made him so hungry that he'd get distracted from whatever useless bullshit the teacher was droning on about that day.
"Is it when you exercise?" Medic said, interrupting his thoughts.
"That's the thing, it ain't when I'm runnin' so much, it's— whenever she's around. My heart just gets racin' so much, and it hurts when she ain't around. I don't get it–"
Medic rolled his eyes. "You wake me up for this? Go on, shoo."
"–No, it's weird, sometimes I have like, flutterin' and cooing sounds, and—"
"Cooing?" Medic said, looking more than a little alarmed.
Medic pulled out his bonesaw. Scout had seen the worst of Medic's bonesaw more than once, and even though he was a manly stud kind of a guy, it didn't stop him from wincing a bit. It wasn't like he was chickenshit or anything, but those things frigging hurt!
"This will sting a little—"
He clung tight to Heavy's arm as the blade cut into his flesh. Although he tried to be manly, he ended up screaming until his lungs ached, a long scream of the sort which was really hard to put off as just a cough, or blame on Sniper again. Still, it definitely sounded like a strong battle cry and not like a twelve year old girl at all.
A frigging bird flew out. A frigging bird. Red wings spread wide, the dove circled around up top, apparently unhurt. Ugh, he was probably full of bird shit, and that was if the stupid thing didn't eat half his internal organs in the process.
"Archimedes!" Medic cried out. The bloody bird perched on his finger, and the old doc looked on the verge of manly tears. Heavy left Scout's side to come nearer to Medic. With one huge finger, he petted Archimedes' back.
"Papa missed you!" Medic said, happier than Scout had ever heard him.
"Little bird came home," Heavy said, his rumbling voice trembling with emotion.
"Hello, open chest wound over here! Hey, doc, come on man, don't leave me hangin'—literally!"
The doors swung open, and she rushed in, wearing cute pedal pushers, limping from a broken heel. Her hair was all messed up, glasses askew like she'd been running the whole way. And there it was again, his heart rate up like he'd been running twenty miles without a break, his chest aching and yet not from the wound.
"—there was a girl screaming—Medic, you—"
"Just Scout," Medic said.
Miss Pauling let out a relieved sigh. She pressed her hand to her chest as she caught her breath.
"For the record, they were manly screams," Scout said.
"They were a dead ringer for a little girl," she said.
"Must've heard some horror movie on the way in," Scout said.
"That line would work better if I didn't oversee the matches," she said.
"—But, hey, you came runnin' to my side, bet you wouldn't do that for any of the other guys, huh?" Scout said.
"Not if Heavy is the one screaming in Medic's office," she said, clearing her throat.
Scout looked up, a little confused at the way Heavy was staring at the wall, while Medic seemed far too wrapped up in his birds to notice the awkwardness.
"More importantly, I found Archimedes!" Medic said, lifting up his finger, while the bird cooed happily. He petted it with his other hands. "He was in Scout's chest all along!"
"Always the last place you look, huh?" Miss Pauling said dryly.
Scout attempted pose in a hot way to catch her attention, but it was hard to look studly with the chest wound and all. Feathers fell out, and more blood. Well, damn.
"Medic," she said sternly.
"Can't, bird time," Medic replied.
Heavy nodded. "Bird time very important."
"Doc, come on–"
"What part of bird time do you not understand?" Medic said. Archimedes flew away to rest on Heavy's shoulder.
"I wasn't yelling at you," Medic said, getting on tiptoe to pet his bird again. Archimedes nuzzled his head against Heavy's thick neck.
"Ah, he missed you," Medic said gently.
"If you want something done, you have to do it yourself," Miss Pauling said under her breath.
She turned to him, pushing up her glasses and running her hand through her messy black hair, trying to put it back in place.
"Can you manage to stand?"
"Manage? I can stand like a friggin' pro–"
It hurt more than he thought it would. He clung to the side of the examination table, his knees wobbling. "S-see, no sweat—"
"There's feathers in your chest," she said.
"P-probably more than just that," he said. He tried to smile, but it wobbled, and he had to bite his lower lip to cut back another scream.
"Can you bend forward for me?"
He nodded. "Yeah, anythin' for you."
He hoped his heart wouldn't fall right out of his chest. He swallowed past the pain, his vision blurring a moment as she stepped away. She lifted up the hose from the side of the examination table, struggling under its weight.
The pain was frigging unbearable. He held on tighter to the steel examination table, trying not to make a sound. She put her hand up as feathers fell to the floor and stuck in the drain, right along with the bloody water. She was touching his heart, keeping it there, and even through the pain, he liked her small hand there. Keeping him together.
"There," she said, turning off the hose with some difficulty. He leaned back on the table, exhausted and sore. She had to jump up to reach the Medigun, red light all over him. He watched her through the red haze, pain easing and yet, it was still there. There wasn't a bird in his chest anymore, but there might as well have been. It was kind of like an ache, but a happy ache, from liking her so damn much that it felt like the world tilted a little bit every time she came around.
Her purple shirt was soaked form the cold water. Water dripped down her chin, across her milky white skin, and he couldn't stop looking. Even her pants were wet.
"You'd make a good doctor," he said, with a grin. "Then again, you'd be a good anythin', considerin' how smart and stuff you are."
"Thank you," she said absently, looking down at her wet shirt. "I should change," she said, more to herself than anything.
"I, for one, think you look just fine," he said. Her wet clothes hugged every wonderful curve of her body. Wet, undone strands of hair from her bun framed her face, and water droplets spattered all over her glasses. She lifted up her shirt just a little to clean them, revealing a quick glimpse of her pale stomach. She was just a little chubby at the waist, hidden by her perfect posture and clothes, and it made her even cuter in his eyes.
She frowned as she picked up glasses wetter and more blurry than before.
"Hey, you could use my shirt," Scout said.
"Mmm," she said.
She reached out and pushed up his shirt just a little at the bottom of his red shirt, where it wasn't really wet or bloody or nothing. Scout leaned back, just to give her a better view of his rock-hard awesome body.
Unfortunately, she missed the show of a lifetime, considering she needed her glasses to see and all, but he kept his shirt up just a bit to show off his damn fine abs. Just a little gift to make her day better. Hell, her whole year better.
"If I ever want a chance at you meeting my gaze ever again, I'm taking a break to change," she said.
"Course I'd look at your eyes, they're real pretty!"
She looked away. Hey, was she blushing? He really wanted to believe that she was finally blushing over him. She just had to be.
"Well, you need to have your data inputted back in Respawn. It's likely that Archimedes was scanned as well, which is why he's never been removed, or expired inside of you, so the problem will continue if we don't get this rectified right away."
"Yeah, great. A bird bitin' and crappin' all in my chest, real wonder of nature there," Scout said.
She pushed the Medigun back up, red light floating across the wall. She was pretty tiny, but her arms were toned. Did she work out? He'd love to spot for her, run with her, work out with her...he hadn't thought her as a sporty kind of girl, but he was learning new things about her every day, and he liked every single thing.
"Hey, I'm good as new. Thanks, Miss P! You really healed my broken heart!"
She made this half-cough, half sneeze noise, but he was sure it was a covered up laugh. He'd done it, he'd really made her laugh! Had to be a laugh, though that meant her laugh might've sounded like a sixty-year old woman who smoked every day of her life.
He could be okay with that.
"So, you me, a nice cozy little Respawn input room, after you slip into something a little more comfortable?" Scout said.
"My, aren't you talented at spinning things. You could work propaganda for TF Industries like a charm," she said.
"Yeah, I'm a champ at spinnin'. Dancin'—see? See?" He did an impromptu twirl which wasn't so much a chance to show off his smooth moves, but just to get another smile.
Success! It was faint, but still there.
"Moving on, I'll go get changed and meet you at the Respawn data center. I'll see you in half an hour."
"It's a date. I won't be late, in fact, I'll be early and waitin'—waitin' for you!" He called after her.
"Okay," was all she said, down the hall, her pretty voice carrying through the halls.
She didn't even correct him on the date part, and she never missed stuff like that, so it meant she had to dig him. He grinned, catching his reflection in a sliver of dusty mirror on the wall of the infirmary.
You know what, Scout? You look like one damn fine handsome man, and she's gotta think so, too! Boo-frickin' yeah.
Scout looked back towards the fridge, his hey, doc cutting off the minute he saw the good doctor in action. In the time it had taken for her to fix him up, frigging Heavy and Medic were having a fricking tea party. Medic lifted up his teacup. There was a small teacup beside his, with little bird crumbs in it.
"So, doc, about that chest thing—"
"Dummkopf, you're in love," Medic said, though there wasn't even any anger in his voice, just exasperation.
"Love? Nah, I can't—" he stopped at that, so much going through his head.
He thought everything about her was gorgeous, even the stuff that wasn't. A bit of chub, maybe a harsh laugh, nothing made her seem any less like the most amazing girl he'd ever met. The kind of girl who made him want to break all the walls, even his own, just to reach high enough to catch her eye.
And sure, there were tons of other pretty girls in the world, but they didn't make his chest burn around them, painful and hot and horrible and wonderful all at once. They didn't make him feel like the whole world titled to the side just by walking by, like he was falling and flying all at once.
They didn't make him nod along to stupid sappy love songs, understanding why someone would go and make a fool out of themselves over and over just to catch the eye of that one girl, only girl who'd gone and touched his heart and even removed some feathers while she was at it.
"Who knows, maybe you're right doc," Scout said, giving one last wave as he was out the door and at a run.
"Of course I'm right," Medic said under his breath.
"I don't give love advice!" Medic called after him, but Scout was long gone.
He shook his head and lifted the teacup to his lips. "Dummkopf."
"Bird time is well and good, but it is not all. You do not leave patients," Heavy said.
"Yes, yes. You could say I was putting a matter of the heart first. A matter of the heart over a matter of the heart," Medic said with a laugh. "Someone had to make the boy realize, so he'd stop bothering me in the middle night asking for 'health advice.' Bah, what am I Doctor love?"
"You could be," Heavy said. "Doctor is good at all things."
Archimedes fluttered up to start to preen Heavy's head, even though he was newly shaven.
"Scout is going to keep interrupting us," Medic said.
Heavy chuckled. "He will only interrupt the first time. After that, he will learn to knock, like Miss Pauling."
"Ah, you always have the best ideas," Medic said.
