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bonnefoisMeme..go! The original Dawn and A Tragic Tale of Much Woe
So, 'A Tragic Tale of Much Woe' and 'Dawn' have one thing in common: both being based on jokes exchanged with![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
ametheystbubble and r_amythest. Actually, these aren't the only ones -- le roi est mort came from an ongoing joke with Ammy, though the fic itself isn't uh, very humorous (basically the context of the joke is if Ike ever left without Soren, Soren would take over the world and rename it Ikelania and every day would be called Ikeday and many, many people would die and this is why you should ship IkeSoren: because Soren will kill you if not.
Dawn was less word-for-word than A Tragic Tale of Much Woe. |It mostly came out of me saying that there'd be serious issues with IkeMia working because 1. Mia is flightier than even Gatrie and will go after anything wielding a sharp implement 2. She looooooooves mornings, Ike does not. Their relationship could not survive this, especially after she drags a groggy Ike out of bed and he almost eviscerates her because he is groggy and it is morning3. because he destined rival is obvious Lucia. Heloooo flowing white robes! 4. She'd kind of have to kick the glaring naked Soren out of bed before she got with Ike
Oh yeah, and this was called "Sleepyhead" up until about a minute before posting.
Mia stretched as the first ray of morning hit the skies.
I use morning as an opener waaay too much. Actually, I use seasonal imagery too much in general. I guess it's kind of 'my style' but I do it without meaning. I think it's because I'm a country girl and I bundle up even on the coldest days to run outside and plow through oodles of Northie snow just to get a peek at the lovely sunset. Honestly, they're gorgeous and I guess it shows through writing how much it affects me. Also, it's excusable with Miss Up At The Break Of Dawn
Already she could feel the anticipation flowing through her veins that a possible sparring match brought.. She preferred dawn because of the crisp, cool feeling of the morning air. Any later and it would grow warmer– not that she minded it too much. She’d fight in the desert if she had to, at high noon.
She began to loosen her muscles as she waited. Surely he’d be there, boss always kept his promises after all.
When the sun rose and morning light turned golden, she began to get impatient. A few more practice swings, she thought. Maybe Soren had something important to go through and had held him up, these things happened and Soren seemed to always find things that needed his attention when they were to spar. It was annoying, yeah, but she understood. Mia had even tried to strike up a conversation with Soren a few times; she’d never trained against a mage before, she figured it might be something interesting to liven up her practicing. However, he gave her the cold shoulder, and brushed aside all her attempts at fighting together or friendly conversation or anything, really. After a while she realized he was like that to everyone, so she didn’t take it personally.
Mia looked forward to sparring matches with Ike. While she knew that Ike wasn’t her rival, and would never be, he was the best swordsman she’d sparred with so far. He never held back because she was female. Maybe that’s why she liked fighting him so much, others would treat her as a lady but Ike treated her like a person. He gave everyone equal jobs, and never seemed to consider gender or race into the equation. She’d been told to haul pieces of wood with Largo and Stefan alike, even though they were twice her size.
I think this sums up my view of Mia's personality and I actually liked how her POV came out in this fic. Mia isn't really my favorite character --I think she suffers from the Swordsman Curse in FE (aka at least half the swordsman will have personalities that consist of nothing but IMMA BE THE BEST SWORDSMAN EVAR) It also sums up my view on her view on Ike: maybe a bit of a crush but more on his swordplay than anything. I honestly can't see them talking and if she did go to bed with him it'd be 'until she found someone with a shinier sword. Or axe.' Also there's the whole 'Ike fails at heterosexuality' thing.
Only Soren seemed exempt from this menial labor, and Rhys as well. It wasn’t really surprising, as they were both so fragile they’d probably strain a muscle trying to lift a twig.
They totally would. Soren, however is smart enough to make Ike/Skrimir/Boyd/etc. do his menial labor for him.
Actually, she thought that Ike kept Soren from any menial labor at all. The extent of things he carried seemed to be supplies and spices. She shrugged at this; they were childhood friends, he probably had some brotherly complex. Soren was all brains and no brawn anyways, just the opposite of Largo. He could barely even lift the heavier tomes.
Cue ther_amythest joke that Soren is specialized in Wind tomes because it's the only one light enough for him to lift. he probably picked it for the strategic value, actually. Flying things stand no chance against Super!Soren and his Elwind tome!
The sun was coming up fast, soon dawn was already about over. Sighing, Mia set off for Ike’s tent. Someone needed a wake up call.
***
Boss kept his tent just like anyone else’s, in fact, it was hard to find him as he never set himself apart or had a fancy tent like other generals. More than once he’d been mistaken for a common soldier, but if anything, he took that as a complement.
She pulled open the tent and let the light shine in.
“Hey boss, good morning! Boooosssssssss!”
The covers had fallen down and it revealed Ike didn’t bother with pajamas. At all.. Which was a nice thing to know, and not a bad sight either. She’d be lying if she ever said that Boss wasn’t good looking, but unlike all those other girls, she wasn’t swooning over that. What she really loved was his swordplay, but the fact that he had some really nice abs certainly helped.
The 'nice abs' joke is a joke betweenego_chan and I going back to 05-06 TRC KuroFai fics. I even finished one that did that joke in action (as a crossover with Yami no Matsuei, even!)
He shifted away from the light, groaning. And that’s when she caught sight of another person sleeping there. It shouldn’t have been surprising to any other general, but with Boss? He just seemed uninterested in all the girls out there.
She squinted and could just make out black hair from the shadows, pale skin, a red twisting mark on the forehead..... Oh. That explained a lot, actually. A whole lot.
Heheh... All the pieces fall into place. The lack of heterosexuality, Soren's obsessive jealous urges, that time she saw them hugging...
Now she was faced with getting her promised duel and the sheer awkwardness of the situation. In any other situation she would’ve woken him up anyways, but with Soren there...she rather liked living.
Soren is not opposed to hiring someone to hide the body. You just do not invade his Ike Time.
She deliberated a moment too long; Ike still slept on just as soundly, but Soren moaned and began to open his eyes rather groggily.
She stepped back, but ran into a metal guard of some kind, and it clattered. There went her stealthy escape.
Fully awake now, Soren turned his gaze on her. It was the most frightening, hateful stare she’d ever seen, in or out of the battlefield.
“Um, Boss owed me some sparring practice–”
Get out. he mouthed.
She hauled out of there, she wasn’t going to chance him going for his Rexcaliber tome.
This actually happened to me, was sort of based on a true story, etc. It wasn't one of those OSHI-WALKED IN ON SEXYTIEMS moments but I was just a kid and it's still a pretty vivid memory.
Mia made sure that she was far enough away to be out of range of any possible wind blasts before she finally leaned against a tree to rest and take a breath. Mia thought she needed to find a new sparring partner.
***
Soren frowned as he edged his way out of bed and scrambled for his clothes. At least Ike’s grip hadn’t been firm around his waist; on those days he simply had to be late, as he could hardly move Ike’s arms away when they were clasped so tight.
The situation had turned out poorly. Soren assessed the damage and searched for a means to cure it. The girl – Mia was chatty, but he didn’t remember her being prone to gossip. He doubted that she would be like Naesala or Volke, easily paid off to keep her mouth shut (Though Naesala would drag the blackmail on as long as possible, Soren knew.) He pondered this a moment further before setting it aside for later contemplation. He had other important things to attend to at the moment.
Now half dressed, he stopped from his thoughts for a moment to watch Ike sleep. Ike was extremely adept at sleeping, as he’d just proven, he could even easily withstand Mia yelling and light pouring through directly on his face. Soren at times wondered what he couldn’t sleep through. An earthquake, perhaps? That remained to be seen.
When Ike slept he looked peaceful. It was perhaps the only time when he wasn’t frowning. Soren liked this side, the times when he was detained by Ike’s embrace, he rarely slept. Instead he watched Ike, watched his rib cage rise and fall, breathed in the scent of him.
Soren knew any subtle change in Ike’s mood because he was always watching, waiting, listening for Ike’s command. He would do anything for Ike, he would even be willing to die for Ike. It was so simple that he had never stated it. Sometimes he wonder if Ike knew this fact. Perhaps he guessed, but didn’t know the sheer extent of Soren’s sincerity and devotion.
Soren shook himself from his reverie and finished dressing. There was work to be done, this was no time for dreaming.
Ike slept on, peaceful and Soren placed a light kiss on his shoulder before he left. A twirl of dust and light left in his wake as the tent flap fluttered shut again.
I actually didn't cut through this scene with commentary because I had to sit back and smile at it. I really like the Soren characterization in this fic -- it's the perfect mix of analytic detachment in the beginning and a sort of softening around Ike. I'm fond of this little fic, though it was kind of forgotten. It was one no one really liked but me, actually.
***
So far the rounds of finding her next big rival weren’t promising. Nobody seemed to actually be a swordsman and a morning person as well.
Soren was already up and gave her a curt, if suspicious nod. She honestly would’ve found Boss and Soren’s relationship cute if Soren wasn’t so edgy. It wasn’t like she’d blab it around to everyone, what was their business was just that – their business, no one else’s.
Mia shrugged. There was always tomorrow, another battle, another step closer to finding her rival. She never let setbacks keep her down long.
She went to the middle of camp where Oscar, another early riser, was making breakfast. Seated beside him was Ilyana, who waited like a hungry cat for milk, surely Oscar knew that was an endless pit for food, but he always gave her scraps anyways.
“Goood moooooorrrnniinng!” she said. Oscar smiled and nodded, Ilyana groaned.
Just in the distance she saw a tall, well-built man with mussed light green hair that hung over his ears. He wore the garb of a swordfighter and she could see the glint of silver in the morning light.
He kept well apart from the others, and drank his tea slowly while watching the sunrise.
“Who’s he? Looks familiar but I can’t place him...” she said.
“Hmm?” Oscar looked over his shoulder and then responded.
“Oh, that’s Stefan. You don’t remember him? He joined up during the last war, but he usually keeps to himself.”
“Stefan, huh? There’s my next sparring partner!”
“Maybe you—” Oscar said but she was already charging off and Ilyana was gnawing on his pantleg. Oscar sighed. He hoped that for Rhys’ sake, Mia and Kieran never crossed paths while training.
Actually, the Kieran & Mia mention was from a lulzy gamefaqs topic where someone went "I wish Kieran and Mia had (real/POR) supports" and someone replied "there wasn't enough healers in all of Tellius for those supports" or something like that. Actually, the fic went on but I realized it was digressing so I snipped it. Here's where it was going! DVD exclusive deleted scenes :D (and randomly, this came on the heels of someone posting a Stephan/Mia story on ff.net which made me go "Dude, a crack pairing I can actually get on board with. This would be awesome! She'd be all 'c'mon old man, let's go at it!' and he'd be all *eyebrowraise* "O rly?" and then hot swordfights would ensue! Seriously, it'd be awesome. Also, there needs to be Eddie & Mia with a jealous/nagging Leo at the side with his arms crossed and that Leo grandma grimace going on. And Heather/Mia. Why has that not happened yet? Heather will hit on anything with boobs, Mia will hit anything with a sharp implement -- it's a match made in...30 minutes, probably. THEY HAVE EXACTLY THE SAME AMOUNT OF ATTENTION SPAN THERE.)
Stefan was far enough from camp as to be visible, yet far from any company. She saw his back silhouetted in the morning light. It was a strong, wide back, the kind that could lift a big sword. She was sure he must have big, strong arms and
She always liked a guy with a big sword. Especially one who knew just how to swing it.
“Hey, you!” She called.
He turned to survey her in a calm sense of disinterest. The budding sunlight glanced off his scruffy, moss colored hair. There was still a bit of a five-o-clock shadow over his unshaven face. Apparently some traditions -- such a tea -- even trumped other essential things.
Or he really just wasn't that much of a morning person either.
“You’re a swordsman, aren't you?" She said. "Then fight me!”
She unsheathed her sword and let it glint in the morning, glint in his eyes. She smiled her challenge away and wondered if he too would turn her down with a please, I don't fight girls schtick.
He calmly finished his tea in one gulp and set the cup aside. He rose to his full height, which was a lot taller than she'd thought and pulled out his sword.
"If that's what you wish. However, I won't hold back."
"Good, I won't either!"
Their swords met and crashed in the morning light.
Like I was saying, this is pretty much word for word an in-joke which I had withamethystbubble and r_amythest on what would happen if IkeElincia ever went canon. It sort of came into writing form when I read this one author's work -- I'm not going to say who she is because I don't want to step on any toes but she wrote Ike/Elincia and Geoffrey > Elincia and the characterization made my eyes bleed. That caused me to make a meta rant which caused starlitlady to write Arrangements for me. (also, that meta inspired this fic by amethystbubble which is all kinds of awesome) After this I made a "what fic would you make me write if you could" and myaru said 'Ike/Elincia' BECAUSE SHE IS HORRIBLY MEAN. I think I wanted to try and actually try some of the actual Ike/Elincia relationship in a parody-ish manner, but I'm severely allergic to the pairing. It gives me hives and attempting to write it in any form will physically hurt me. it-it warps Elincia into an IQ-losing damsel in distresssss ;_; Ike is either oblivious, or feels OOC when he actually has a moment. Keep it awaaayyy
Also, this was written all in one sitting as a comment(s) reply to said request. And it's entitled 'Myarumademedoit.wpd' on my computer.
--
It had been a disaster from the beginning. Maybe at one time she had dreamed that they would be married and happy but the granting of that wish had brought her no happiness. He had never said he loved her and true, he had professed more love to his entree than he ever showed her but she thought he was simply romantically challenged. She had no idea how challenged he was.
Just like I was saying with Ammy the other day over email -- Ike/Ribs otp. (Ike/ribs/TV is the legendary Modern AU OTP)
To date he hadn’t even preformed the marital duties even once. After their wedding Shinon had kept demanding he drink like a man and in the end Soren had led him away to sleep off the wine. She spent her honeymoon alone, lonely and unfulfilled. The next day she had to face Soren’s hateful gaze when she came to retrieve Ike. Her love was shirtless and stunningly handsome. Also, Soren clung to his side and glared at her with the fiercest back off bitch, he’s mine! look she had ever come upon.
Soren is the cattiest bitchy girlfriend ever. I feel sorry for any girl who would attempt to go after Ike. I even had a joking skit with one of the Amm's where girls tried to get Modern!Ike and Soren did helpful things like delete the messages left on the answering machine and shred the invitations and clear Ike's voice mail and convince Ike that he should stay home and eat ribs and not think about going outside for the rest of the weekend.
...I should write that sometime.
She had even tried stripping down and covering herself in barbeque sauce to get his attention but Ike just didn’t know what breasts were or what he should do with them.
Ike totally doesn't. He is like, the only FE lord in history that didn't hit a Pegasus Knight. It's like some ancient tradition -- Hector even got all three of the Pegasus sisters (not at once, though someone should request that at the kink meme) and Marth married Sheeda. Roy had Thany and I can't vouch for Leaf or any of the Seisen crew but I'm sure some of the Pegasus girls got some action. Marcia was cute and hitting on him shamelessly and Ike just was like "Er, yes." There is like, this list of hot girls who throw themselves shamelessly at Ike and get nothing but blank stares back. Meanwhile, Heather comforts them and wonders if maybe she shouldn't try for a bigger sword. The women seem to go for big swords...
She had once found his obliviousness charming, in a rugged sort of way – but now she found that rugged wasn’t quite as alluring as she thought. At any noble gathering she had to apologize for her husband’s behavior. He routinely insulted nobles either intentionally or by some faux pas, he ate with his hands and was not beyond using his soup spoon on items that weren’t soup.
Reason #2378934027 why Ike would fail as a noble: he'd offend every foreign dignitary ever.
In Begnion, this was a crime punishable by death, but Crimea was more lenient.
This is my favorite line in the whole fic, I think. It makes me crack up every time. I'm pretty sure it was somehow influenced bymyaru too. Making fun of Begnion's in(s)ane social customs never gets old.
He left his socks on priceless antique coffee tables and practiced sparring indoors. She wore gowns so low-cut that her bosoms threatened to spill out but alas, he still didn’t notice she had breasts.
The only breasts Ike is interested in are chicken breasts. Deep fried, homestyle spicy fried chicken breasts.
The only comfort she found was in Geoffrey’s arms. They had never gone beyond a simple embrace, for that would be highly immoral and she knew Geoffrey would never do such a thing – but he always was willing to listen to whatever pained her. When she looked at him he gazed back at her with the love and adoration she’d never found in Ike. Geoffrey would always choose her over a spicy meat dish. Ike... she wasn’t so sure.
And thus, they have the most chaste and tragyick affair ever. Meanwhile, Ike lovingly eats his meat in the background. Elincia, in a fit of jealousy breaks into tears and throws a plate on the floor and storms out. Ike wonders if she still wants her (unbroken) entree.
But it wasn’t just Ike that caused her such emotional turmoil, events had caused the political climate to change from that sunny, balmy peace to a Daein-like winter.
Ashnard’s blood had come to the throne and the king had taken to making such vague comments such as I will destroy Crimea and take back what is mine and this time there won’t be any tactical errors!.
This is probably my second favorite line. And this is word-for-word in the joke, especially the NOW THERE WON'T BE ANY TACTICAL ERRORS part
She didn’t realize just how few tactical errors would be made until a ring of black-armored soldiers laid siege to the capitol city.
A young messenger came through the gates, stumbling under the weight of the scrolls he carried.
He cleared his throat and read aloud the king’s demands:
“I, King Soren of Daein, son of Ashnard, your former opponent, will hearby level the entire country of Crimea without mercy unless you relinquish Ike. The marriage is to be annulled immediately on the threat of death. The king would also like to note that the food is better here, he knows how to properly scratch Ike’s back like he likes it and that Ike is free to leave his boots where they lie, however smelly they are. Also, no clothes will be enforced and nudity will be allowed, though only within the King’s chambers. Should these demands be refused, he will kill you all painfully and take Ike back by force.”
It was with great sorrow that Elincia chose between her love and her country. She held back tears as the document was drawn up. Geoffrey was at her side, comforting her, though she noticed his solemn expression was quite fake and he seemed to be trying to hold back a smile and not quite succeeding. Ike was lead out and whisked away by his closest friend on wyvern back to Soren’s lair.
Later, when her broken heart had healed, Geoffrey and Elincia married. This marriage was a far happier one as Geoffrey did notice that she had breasts. Elincia finally got laid, and the kingdom entered a period of golden prosperity. As long as Soren had Ike, their peace was assured. It was said that in Daein, anyone who didn’t use their soup-spoon in a completely wrong fashion was put to death, but no one is sure if it was merely a fable or a lie of some fanciful bard.
I'm pretty sure I wanted to do more, but couldn't think of anything to add. It's ok, though, I'm pretty satisfied with the ending/piece as a whole. It's not meant to be anything but silliness anyways
And there you go. One more, at least until more are requested. Phew, I'm really spamming everyone tonight, aren't I? Ah, forgive me.
So, 'A Tragic Tale of Much Woe' and 'Dawn' have one thing in common: both being based on jokes exchanged with
ametheystbubble and r_amythest. Actually, these aren't the only ones -- le roi est mort came from an ongoing joke with Ammy, though the fic itself isn't uh, very humorous (basically the context of the joke is if Ike ever left without Soren, Soren would take over the world and rename it Ikelania and every day would be called Ikeday and many, many people would die and this is why you should ship IkeSoren: because Soren will kill you if not.Dawn was less word-for-word than A Tragic Tale of Much Woe. |It mostly came out of me saying that there'd be serious issues with IkeMia working because 1. Mia is flightier than even Gatrie and will go after anything wielding a sharp implement 2. She looooooooves mornings, Ike does not. Their relationship could not survive this, especially after she drags a groggy Ike out of bed and he almost eviscerates her because he is groggy and it is morning
Oh yeah, and this was called "Sleepyhead" up until about a minute before posting.
Mia stretched as the first ray of morning hit the skies.
I use morning as an opener waaay too much. Actually, I use seasonal imagery too much in general. I guess it's kind of 'my style' but I do it without meaning. I think it's because I'm a country girl and I bundle up even on the coldest days to run outside and plow through oodles of Northie snow just to get a peek at the lovely sunset. Honestly, they're gorgeous and I guess it shows through writing how much it affects me. Also, it's excusable with Miss Up At The Break Of Dawn
Already she could feel the anticipation flowing through her veins that a possible sparring match brought.. She preferred dawn because of the crisp, cool feeling of the morning air. Any later and it would grow warmer– not that she minded it too much. She’d fight in the desert if she had to, at high noon.
She began to loosen her muscles as she waited. Surely he’d be there, boss always kept his promises after all.
When the sun rose and morning light turned golden, she began to get impatient. A few more practice swings, she thought. Maybe Soren had something important to go through and had held him up, these things happened and Soren seemed to always find things that needed his attention when they were to spar. It was annoying, yeah, but she understood. Mia had even tried to strike up a conversation with Soren a few times; she’d never trained against a mage before, she figured it might be something interesting to liven up her practicing. However, he gave her the cold shoulder, and brushed aside all her attempts at fighting together or friendly conversation or anything, really. After a while she realized he was like that to everyone, so she didn’t take it personally.
Mia looked forward to sparring matches with Ike. While she knew that Ike wasn’t her rival, and would never be, he was the best swordsman she’d sparred with so far. He never held back because she was female. Maybe that’s why she liked fighting him so much, others would treat her as a lady but Ike treated her like a person. He gave everyone equal jobs, and never seemed to consider gender or race into the equation. She’d been told to haul pieces of wood with Largo and Stefan alike, even though they were twice her size.
I think this sums up my view of Mia's personality and I actually liked how her POV came out in this fic. Mia isn't really my favorite character --I think she suffers from the Swordsman Curse in FE (aka at least half the swordsman will have personalities that consist of nothing but IMMA BE THE BEST SWORDSMAN EVAR) It also sums up my view on her view on Ike: maybe a bit of a crush but more on his swordplay than anything. I honestly can't see them talking and if she did go to bed with him it'd be 'until she found someone with a shinier sword. Or axe.' Also there's the whole 'Ike fails at heterosexuality' thing.
Only Soren seemed exempt from this menial labor, and Rhys as well. It wasn’t really surprising, as they were both so fragile they’d probably strain a muscle trying to lift a twig.
They totally would. Soren, however is smart enough to make Ike/Skrimir/Boyd/etc. do his menial labor for him.
Actually, she thought that Ike kept Soren from any menial labor at all. The extent of things he carried seemed to be supplies and spices. She shrugged at this; they were childhood friends, he probably had some brotherly complex. Soren was all brains and no brawn anyways, just the opposite of Largo. He could barely even lift the heavier tomes.
Cue the
r_amythest joke that Soren is specialized in Wind tomes because it's the only one light enough for him to lift. he probably picked it for the strategic value, actually. Flying things stand no chance against Super!Soren and his Elwind tome!The sun was coming up fast, soon dawn was already about over. Sighing, Mia set off for Ike’s tent. Someone needed a wake up call.
***
Boss kept his tent just like anyone else’s, in fact, it was hard to find him as he never set himself apart or had a fancy tent like other generals. More than once he’d been mistaken for a common soldier, but if anything, he took that as a complement.
She pulled open the tent and let the light shine in.
“Hey boss, good morning! Boooosssssssss!”
The covers had fallen down and it revealed Ike didn’t bother with pajamas. At all.. Which was a nice thing to know, and not a bad sight either. She’d be lying if she ever said that Boss wasn’t good looking, but unlike all those other girls, she wasn’t swooning over that. What she really loved was his swordplay, but the fact that he had some really nice abs certainly helped.
The 'nice abs' joke is a joke between
ego_chan and I going back to 05-06 TRC KuroFai fics. I even finished one that did that joke in action (as a crossover with Yami no Matsuei, even!)He shifted away from the light, groaning. And that’s when she caught sight of another person sleeping there. It shouldn’t have been surprising to any other general, but with Boss? He just seemed uninterested in all the girls out there.
She squinted and could just make out black hair from the shadows, pale skin, a red twisting mark on the forehead..... Oh. That explained a lot, actually. A whole lot.
Heheh... All the pieces fall into place. The lack of heterosexuality, Soren's obsessive jealous urges, that time she saw them hugging...
Now she was faced with getting her promised duel and the sheer awkwardness of the situation. In any other situation she would’ve woken him up anyways, but with Soren there...she rather liked living.
Soren is not opposed to hiring someone to hide the body. You just do not invade his Ike Time.
She deliberated a moment too long; Ike still slept on just as soundly, but Soren moaned and began to open his eyes rather groggily.
She stepped back, but ran into a metal guard of some kind, and it clattered. There went her stealthy escape.
Fully awake now, Soren turned his gaze on her. It was the most frightening, hateful stare she’d ever seen, in or out of the battlefield.
“Um, Boss owed me some sparring practice–”
Get out. he mouthed.
She hauled out of there, she wasn’t going to chance him going for his Rexcaliber tome.
This actually happened to me, was sort of based on a true story, etc. It wasn't one of those OSHI-WALKED IN ON SEXYTIEMS moments but I was just a kid and it's still a pretty vivid memory.
Mia made sure that she was far enough away to be out of range of any possible wind blasts before she finally leaned against a tree to rest and take a breath. Mia thought she needed to find a new sparring partner.
***
Soren frowned as he edged his way out of bed and scrambled for his clothes. At least Ike’s grip hadn’t been firm around his waist; on those days he simply had to be late, as he could hardly move Ike’s arms away when they were clasped so tight.
The situation had turned out poorly. Soren assessed the damage and searched for a means to cure it. The girl – Mia was chatty, but he didn’t remember her being prone to gossip. He doubted that she would be like Naesala or Volke, easily paid off to keep her mouth shut (Though Naesala would drag the blackmail on as long as possible, Soren knew.) He pondered this a moment further before setting it aside for later contemplation. He had other important things to attend to at the moment.
Now half dressed, he stopped from his thoughts for a moment to watch Ike sleep. Ike was extremely adept at sleeping, as he’d just proven, he could even easily withstand Mia yelling and light pouring through directly on his face. Soren at times wondered what he couldn’t sleep through. An earthquake, perhaps? That remained to be seen.
When Ike slept he looked peaceful. It was perhaps the only time when he wasn’t frowning. Soren liked this side, the times when he was detained by Ike’s embrace, he rarely slept. Instead he watched Ike, watched his rib cage rise and fall, breathed in the scent of him.
Soren knew any subtle change in Ike’s mood because he was always watching, waiting, listening for Ike’s command. He would do anything for Ike, he would even be willing to die for Ike. It was so simple that he had never stated it. Sometimes he wonder if Ike knew this fact. Perhaps he guessed, but didn’t know the sheer extent of Soren’s sincerity and devotion.
Soren shook himself from his reverie and finished dressing. There was work to be done, this was no time for dreaming.
Ike slept on, peaceful and Soren placed a light kiss on his shoulder before he left. A twirl of dust and light left in his wake as the tent flap fluttered shut again.
I actually didn't cut through this scene with commentary because I had to sit back and smile at it. I really like the Soren characterization in this fic -- it's the perfect mix of analytic detachment in the beginning and a sort of softening around Ike. I'm fond of this little fic, though it was kind of forgotten. It was one no one really liked but me, actually.
***
So far the rounds of finding her next big rival weren’t promising. Nobody seemed to actually be a swordsman and a morning person as well.
Soren was already up and gave her a curt, if suspicious nod. She honestly would’ve found Boss and Soren’s relationship cute if Soren wasn’t so edgy. It wasn’t like she’d blab it around to everyone, what was their business was just that – their business, no one else’s.
Mia shrugged. There was always tomorrow, another battle, another step closer to finding her rival. She never let setbacks keep her down long.
She went to the middle of camp where Oscar, another early riser, was making breakfast. Seated beside him was Ilyana, who waited like a hungry cat for milk, surely Oscar knew that was an endless pit for food, but he always gave her scraps anyways.
“Goood moooooorrrnniinng!” she said. Oscar smiled and nodded, Ilyana groaned.
Just in the distance she saw a tall, well-built man with mussed light green hair that hung over his ears. He wore the garb of a swordfighter and she could see the glint of silver in the morning light.
He kept well apart from the others, and drank his tea slowly while watching the sunrise.
“Who’s he? Looks familiar but I can’t place him...” she said.
“Hmm?” Oscar looked over his shoulder and then responded.
“Oh, that’s Stefan. You don’t remember him? He joined up during the last war, but he usually keeps to himself.”
“Stefan, huh? There’s my next sparring partner!”
“Maybe you—” Oscar said but she was already charging off and Ilyana was gnawing on his pantleg. Oscar sighed. He hoped that for Rhys’ sake, Mia and Kieran never crossed paths while training.
Actually, the Kieran & Mia mention was from a lulzy gamefaqs topic where someone went "I wish Kieran and Mia had (real/POR) supports" and someone replied "there wasn't enough healers in all of Tellius for those supports" or something like that. Actually, the fic went on but I realized it was digressing so I snipped it. Here's where it was going! DVD exclusive deleted scenes :D (and randomly, this came on the heels of someone posting a Stephan/Mia story on ff.net which made me go "Dude, a crack pairing I can actually get on board with. This would be awesome! She'd be all 'c'mon old man, let's go at it!' and he'd be all *eyebrowraise* "O rly?" and then hot swordfights would ensue! Seriously, it'd be awesome. Also, there needs to be Eddie & Mia with a jealous/nagging Leo at the side with his arms crossed and that Leo grandma grimace going on. And Heather/Mia. Why has that not happened yet? Heather will hit on anything with boobs, Mia will hit anything with a sharp implement -- it's a match made in...30 minutes, probably. THEY HAVE EXACTLY THE SAME AMOUNT OF ATTENTION SPAN THERE.)
Stefan was far enough from camp as to be visible, yet far from any company. She saw his back silhouetted in the morning light. It was a strong, wide back, the kind that could lift a big sword. She was sure he must have big, strong arms and
She always liked a guy with a big sword. Especially one who knew just how to swing it.
“Hey, you!” She called.
He turned to survey her in a calm sense of disinterest. The budding sunlight glanced off his scruffy, moss colored hair. There was still a bit of a five-o-clock shadow over his unshaven face. Apparently some traditions -- such a tea -- even trumped other essential things.
Or he really just wasn't that much of a morning person either.
“You’re a swordsman, aren't you?" She said. "Then fight me!”
She unsheathed her sword and let it glint in the morning, glint in his eyes. She smiled her challenge away and wondered if he too would turn her down with a please, I don't fight girls schtick.
He calmly finished his tea in one gulp and set the cup aside. He rose to his full height, which was a lot taller than she'd thought and pulled out his sword.
"If that's what you wish. However, I won't hold back."
"Good, I won't either!"
Their swords met and crashed in the morning light.
Like I was saying, this is pretty much word for word an in-joke which I had with
amethystbubble and r_amythest on what would happen if IkeElincia ever went canon. It sort of came into writing form when I read this one author's work -- I'm not going to say who she is because I don't want to step on any toes but she wrote Ike/Elincia and Geoffrey > Elincia and the characterization made my eyes bleed. That caused me to make a meta rant which caused starlitlady to write Arrangements for me. (also, that meta inspired this fic by amethystbubble which is all kinds of awesome) After this I made a "what fic would you make me write if you could" and myaru said 'Ike/Elincia' BECAUSE SHE IS HORRIBLY MEAN. I think I wanted to try and actually try some of the actual Ike/Elincia relationship in a parody-ish manner, but I'm severely allergic to the pairing. It gives me hives and attempting to write it in any form will physically hurt me. it-it warps Elincia into an IQ-losing damsel in distresssss ;_; Ike is either oblivious, or feels OOC when he actually has a moment. Keep it awaaayyyAlso, this was written all in one sitting as a comment(s) reply to said request. And it's entitled 'Myarumademedoit.wpd' on my computer.
--
It had been a disaster from the beginning. Maybe at one time she had dreamed that they would be married and happy but the granting of that wish had brought her no happiness. He had never said he loved her and true, he had professed more love to his entree than he ever showed her but she thought he was simply romantically challenged. She had no idea how challenged he was.
Just like I was saying with Ammy the other day over email -- Ike/Ribs otp. (Ike/ribs/TV is the legendary Modern AU OTP)
To date he hadn’t even preformed the marital duties even once. After their wedding Shinon had kept demanding he drink like a man and in the end Soren had led him away to sleep off the wine. She spent her honeymoon alone, lonely and unfulfilled. The next day she had to face Soren’s hateful gaze when she came to retrieve Ike. Her love was shirtless and stunningly handsome. Also, Soren clung to his side and glared at her with the fiercest back off bitch, he’s mine! look she had ever come upon.
Soren is the cattiest bitchy girlfriend ever. I feel sorry for any girl who would attempt to go after Ike. I even had a joking skit with one of the Amm's where girls tried to get Modern!Ike and Soren did helpful things like delete the messages left on the answering machine and shred the invitations and clear Ike's voice mail and convince Ike that he should stay home and eat ribs and not think about going outside for the rest of the weekend.
...I should write that sometime.
She had even tried stripping down and covering herself in barbeque sauce to get his attention but Ike just didn’t know what breasts were or what he should do with them.
Ike totally doesn't. He is like, the only FE lord in history that didn't hit a Pegasus Knight. It's like some ancient tradition -- Hector even got all three of the Pegasus sisters (not at once, though someone should request that at the kink meme) and Marth married Sheeda. Roy had Thany and I can't vouch for Leaf or any of the Seisen crew but I'm sure some of the Pegasus girls got some action. Marcia was cute and hitting on him shamelessly and Ike just was like "Er, yes." There is like, this list of hot girls who throw themselves shamelessly at Ike and get nothing but blank stares back. Meanwhile, Heather comforts them and wonders if maybe she shouldn't try for a bigger sword. The women seem to go for big swords...
She had once found his obliviousness charming, in a rugged sort of way – but now she found that rugged wasn’t quite as alluring as she thought. At any noble gathering she had to apologize for her husband’s behavior. He routinely insulted nobles either intentionally or by some faux pas, he ate with his hands and was not beyond using his soup spoon on items that weren’t soup.
Reason #2378934027 why Ike would fail as a noble: he'd offend every foreign dignitary ever.
In Begnion, this was a crime punishable by death, but Crimea was more lenient.
This is my favorite line in the whole fic, I think. It makes me crack up every time. I'm pretty sure it was somehow influenced by
myaru too. Making fun of Begnion's in(s)ane social customs never gets old.He left his socks on priceless antique coffee tables and practiced sparring indoors. She wore gowns so low-cut that her bosoms threatened to spill out but alas, he still didn’t notice she had breasts.
The only breasts Ike is interested in are chicken breasts. Deep fried, homestyle spicy fried chicken breasts.
The only comfort she found was in Geoffrey’s arms. They had never gone beyond a simple embrace, for that would be highly immoral and she knew Geoffrey would never do such a thing – but he always was willing to listen to whatever pained her. When she looked at him he gazed back at her with the love and adoration she’d never found in Ike. Geoffrey would always choose her over a spicy meat dish. Ike... she wasn’t so sure.
And thus, they have the most chaste and tragyick affair ever. Meanwhile, Ike lovingly eats his meat in the background. Elincia, in a fit of jealousy breaks into tears and throws a plate on the floor and storms out. Ike wonders if she still wants her (unbroken) entree.
But it wasn’t just Ike that caused her such emotional turmoil, events had caused the political climate to change from that sunny, balmy peace to a Daein-like winter.
Ashnard’s blood had come to the throne and the king had taken to making such vague comments such as I will destroy Crimea and take back what is mine and this time there won’t be any tactical errors!.
This is probably my second favorite line. And this is word-for-word in the joke, especially the NOW THERE WON'T BE ANY TACTICAL ERRORS part
She didn’t realize just how few tactical errors would be made until a ring of black-armored soldiers laid siege to the capitol city.
A young messenger came through the gates, stumbling under the weight of the scrolls he carried.
He cleared his throat and read aloud the king’s demands:
“I, King Soren of Daein, son of Ashnard, your former opponent, will hearby level the entire country of Crimea without mercy unless you relinquish Ike. The marriage is to be annulled immediately on the threat of death. The king would also like to note that the food is better here, he knows how to properly scratch Ike’s back like he likes it and that Ike is free to leave his boots where they lie, however smelly they are. Also, no clothes will be enforced and nudity will be allowed, though only within the King’s chambers. Should these demands be refused, he will kill you all painfully and take Ike back by force.”
It was with great sorrow that Elincia chose between her love and her country. She held back tears as the document was drawn up. Geoffrey was at her side, comforting her, though she noticed his solemn expression was quite fake and he seemed to be trying to hold back a smile and not quite succeeding. Ike was lead out and whisked away by his closest friend on wyvern back to Soren’s lair.
Later, when her broken heart had healed, Geoffrey and Elincia married. This marriage was a far happier one as Geoffrey did notice that she had breasts. Elincia finally got laid, and the kingdom entered a period of golden prosperity. As long as Soren had Ike, their peace was assured. It was said that in Daein, anyone who didn’t use their soup-spoon in a completely wrong fashion was put to death, but no one is sure if it was merely a fable or a lie of some fanciful bard.
I'm pretty sure I wanted to do more, but couldn't think of anything to add. It's ok, though, I'm pretty satisfied with the ending/piece as a whole. It's not meant to be anything but silliness anyways
And there you go. One more, at least until more are requested. Phew, I'm really spamming everyone tonight, aren't I? Ah, forgive me.
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Date: 2009-01-15 06:17 pm (UTC)The first gen Seisen crew's lords are predestined. Sigurd, first main main character, got the mysterious half-dark-lord-blooded secluded magic lady (sound familiar?), and Cuan and Ethlin -- Leaf's parents -- are married the moment they walk on screen. Second gen, there are no explicitly canon pairings, though Julia -> Celice as one-sided is pretty canon (and also shameless incest)... and also entirely impossible to be reciprocated! Fun. I believe Celice/Rana is the implied pairing, a childhood friends kinda vanilla thing. Leaf is implied I think with Nanna, who is the daughter of the gay-for-brother Valkyrie (who did not actually conceive her by banging her brother). But second gen Seisen is very, very open. The only pegasus knight is Fee, who is adorable, but I don't think she's implied to be a particularly good match for either of them. You are forgetting, however, that Eliwood can have Fiora. =D
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Date: 2009-01-16 03:11 am (UTC)This is really cool, seeing what you felt/liked/thought when writing a piece. All writers should totally do this at least once.
HELP ME GANG UP ON MINA Y/Y?(no subject)
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